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Posted
On 3/12/2025 at 6:13 PM, Brisketexan said:

I had a buddy who did the same.

In no time, we all made fun of him because we saw his bare ass on an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries.

His ass was that bad? Hmm

Posted
On 3/14/2025 at 10:55 AM, Kennythetiger said:

Glen, how are you feeling, lately?  

Apologies for being a bit slow to respond - the family and I are in Colorado for Spring Break.  

Things have ebb'd and flowed.  Had a really good week last week except for last weekend.  My brother in law had a bday party for his wife on the friday before this past one and their group is a pretty rowdy party bunch.  I didn't partake and kept club soda in my hand all night to the amazement of some of the folks there.  Being around that much booze though seemed to trigger some of the PAWS symptoms and I started getting the brain zaps while we were there.  We left shortly after and I spent most of the weekend just getting by and exercising.  It seems when episodes like that hit, they stick around for a 24-36 hour period and leave me feeling pretty terrible but I try to dull them with a workout.  I still haven't had any urges to drink mentally but my body still freaks out.

This past week was better most of the week until Friday.  No brain zaps, thank god, but good sleep was really hard to come by this weekend.  I'm pretty dead on my feet but can't seem to fall all the way asleep and that seemed to trigger an episode last night that lasted through this afternoon.  More body zaps and racing thoughts.  I'm going to try to load up on melatonin tonight and see if that helps on the sleep front.  If there is a positive side of things, It seems like I'm slowly going longer periods between bad days.  Even if it's an additional day each week between episodes, if that makes any sense, I'll take the wins where I can get them.

There was an issue with my insurance coverage on the outpatient recovery center.  They said that since I'm not actively drinking that my insurance kicked back the approval.  They called today and said they had a work around but I haven't had the time to call them back.  I'm going to see what they have to say and hopefully it's good news.  I'm hoping they can help with the withdraw symptoms somehow because those days are the worst.  Tuesday will be 2 months since my last drink.  I know these things take time but the bad days can be brutal.  

Keep fighting the good fight.

  • Hook 'Em 4
Posted

If you’ve gone 2 months without a drink it’s an epic waste of your time and the insurance company’s money to go to treatment. You’re either done or you’re not.

I’m going to PM you my phone number, please feel free to give me a text or shout this week.

One quick story to establish my bonafides - prior to being separated from alcohol for the last time 14 years ago, I was the poster child for psychiatric pharmacology. Since doctors wouldn’t confront me directly about my drinking habits, my disease manifested itself in everything from ADHD to bipolar disorder, and I was accordingly medicated. Eventually my condition was determined to be garden variety alcoholism of the unremarkable type.

The brain zaps you report remind me of weaning from Cymbalta. There are 203 granules in a 60Mg capsule. I built an excel spreadsheet, and over several months opened each capsule and, using forceps and a jeweler’s velvet pad, removed and discarded the unneeded quantity until I was done. Brain zaps suck.

Anyway, you and I have a shared experience and I would like to help. At the minimum I’ll try to be amusing. But to be transparent, I’m also going to suggest that you read a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. 40 million copies (no shit) have been printed, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find.

Ok, I’m exaggerating. 37 Million is the actual number.

;)

  • Hook 'Em 4
  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
42 minutes ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

Apologies for being a bit slow to respond - the family and I are in Colorado for Spring Break.  

Things have ebb'd and flowed.  Had a really good week last week except for last weekend.  My brother in law had a bday party for his wife on the friday before this past one and their group is a pretty rowdy party bunch.  I didn't partake and kept club soda in my hand all night to the amazement of some of the folks there.  Being around that much booze though seemed to trigger some of the PAWS symptoms and I started getting the brain zaps while we were there.  We left shortly after and I spent most of the weekend just getting by and exercising.  It seems when episodes like that hit, they stick around for a 24-36 hour period and leave me feeling pretty terrible but I try to dull them with a workout.  I still haven't had any urges to drink mentally but my body still freaks out.

This past week was better most of the week until Friday.  No brain zaps, thank god, but good sleep was really hard to come by this weekend.  I'm pretty dead on my feet but can't seem to fall all the way asleep and that seemed to trigger an episode last night that lasted through this afternoon.  More body zaps and racing thoughts.  I'm going to try to load up on melatonin tonight and see if that helps on the sleep front.  If there is a positive side of things, It seems like I'm slowly going longer periods between bad days.  Even if it's an additional day each week between episodes, if that makes any sense, I'll take the wins where I can get them.

There was an issue with my insurance coverage on the outpatient recovery center.  They said that since I'm not actively drinking that my insurance kicked back the approval.  They called today and said they had a work around but I haven't had the time to call them back.  I'm going to see what they have to say and hopefully it's good news.  I'm hoping they can help with the withdraw symptoms somehow because those days are the worst.  Tuesday will be 2 months since my last drink.  I know these things take time but the bad days can be brutal.  

Keep fighting the good fight.

All of my rehabilitative assignments have actually taken place a couple of weeks or more after having already put the bottle down. Able to stop, but not in time to avoid the consequences. That experience for me is the worst. Selfishly, It's just a game of how to I navigate my assignment as quickly as possible to preserve my bottom. Sounds like your experience with stopping is different. And that is something that the one-size-fits-all crowd misses and my insanity juggles. But it's also the beauty of the soft language written in the blue book with steps in it.

To your dilemma, I found myself in a similar worry for my first, and only, inpatient. I had genuine concerns that since I had not had a drink in almost two weeks that insurance and the facility would not take. I'm also an extremely honest person. What to do? Only way I could navigate my integrity around the situation was to go to the liquor store, buy some vodka, take the smallest sip known to mankind, and dump out the rest. Obviously not a recommendation, but my switch was already turned off.

When was your last drink? "Today." What did you drink? "Half-pint of vodka." Check.

Edited by JohnnyRage
  • Like 2
Posted

Also - last night my wife’s best friend turned 50 and I was up til 1am, drinking coffee and watching a half dozen drunk as shit Caucasian women having a twerk contest. What I really wanted to be doing was sleeping so I could rise at 5 and be on the water by sunrise on this gorgeous day.

I’m pretty sure I’m about to upgrade boats, as wives are too much trouble.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
7 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Also - last night my wife’s best friend turned 50 and I was up til 1am, drinking coffee and watching a half dozen drunk as shit Caucasian women having a twerk contest. What I really wanted to be doing was sleeping so I could rise at 5 and be on the water by sunrise on this gorgeous day.

I’m pretty sure I’m about to upgrade boats, as wives are too much trouble.

Mandatory pictures of contest?🤣  Sorry, that softball needed to be hammered. If contest pictures are unavailable, pictures of new boat when you get it.

  • Like 1
Posted

In one way I would very respectfully disagree with Bear. Something that I enjoyed about my treatment was very minimal contact with the outside world. Lots of time to concentrate on what went wrong, how to make it right, and how to help it not happen again. 
Very similar to Johnny, I was two weeks’ sober going in to treatment. The telephone intake girl told me that insurance may not cover it since it wasn’t urgent. I said, “Well, I can fix that.”

Thank god I called the insurance company instead, though. They could not have been more helpful. “Just go- we’ve got your back.”

One of the good stories you never hear about health insurance. 

Posted (edited)

It's been another week and I just wanted to post an update/journaling exercise. 

Finding time to put my thoughts down on paper has been hard over the past week or so with this, honestly, being the most difficult part of things at this point.  Lately it has felt like my mind and body are turning a corner minus some GI issues that dehydrated me one day and shot my potassium and magnesium levels up - nothing a couple of liters of IV fluid didn't help fix.  I've been doing a lot of wellness activity and it has really helped when the anxiety has kicked in.   I start and end my day doing breath work and meditation and that has been a great platform for starting my day well and ending it calm and relaxed, meaning hopefully a good nights rest.  

I did have to go the SSRI route with a baby dose of prozac & hydroxyziene to help manage the anxiety when it creeps up.  The good thing is when the anxiety kicks in to gear and I feel an episode coming on, I can tamp it down enough to not have a full blown attack with that only happening once in the past 10 days or so.  The GI issues have really thrown me for a loop physically which is a lot of the root cause of the anxiety because a lot of the symptoms mirror other potential major issues per my GI & psychiatrist.  Once they both kick in, the feedback loop starts.  I did full panels (the hyper expensive integrative health versions) to double check everything and put my mind at ease.  Other than low vitamin D levels, I'm healthy as a horse across the board.  The plan is to keep up with the meds, meditation, add in some supplements, exercise, and keep seeing the psychiatrist for the next few months when I can start winding down.  I'm also down 10lbs of good weight which has been a pleasant surprise.

I do really feel like things are getting better but slowly.  Anyone thinking about getting sober after heavy alcohol use, I'd caution that your mind and body are likely not as healthy as you might think.  The GI issues have fucking sucked, the brain zaps have fucking sucked, and getting stuck in a feedback loop when they both kick in at the same time really fucking sucks.  When I look back to when I started this journey, there's a mountain of things I would have done differently but everyone is different and every experience is different.  The one thing I will say is get as much help as you can because of those facts.  I went at this solo and cold turkey to start and that was the wrong move.  There is no silver bullet for this and the sooner one accepts that fact the sooner you can start and even though it will be rough, you'll slowly start to have mornings like I'm having today.  Spray tanned, rested, and ready - and feeling great.  

Yesterday was 10 weeks.  Keep fighting the good fight.

Glenn

Edited by GlenFromTheMailRoom
  • Like 4
Posted
58 minutes ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

It's been another week and I just wanted to post an update/journaling exercise. 

Finding time to put my thoughts down on paper has been hard over the past week or so with this, honestly, being the most difficult part of things at this point.  Lately it has felt like my mind and body are turning a corner minus some GI issues that dehydrated me one day and shot my potassium and magnesium levels up - nothing a couple of liters of IV fluid didn't help fix.  I've been doing a lot of wellness activity and it has really helped when the anxiety has kicked in.   I start and end my day doing breath work and meditation and that has been a great platform for starting my day well and ending it calm and relaxed, meaning hopefully a good nights rest.  

I did have to go the SSRI route with a baby dose of prozac & hydroxyziene to help manage the anxiety when it creeps up.  The good thing is when the anxiety kicks in to gear and I feel an episode coming on, I can tamp it down enough to not have a full blown attack with that only happening once in the past 10 days or so.  The GI issues have really thrown me for a loop physically which is a lot of the root cause of the anxiety because a lot of the symptoms mirror other potential major issues per my GI & psychiatrist.  Once they both kick in, the feedback loop starts.  I did full panels (the hyper expensive integrative health versions) to double check everything and put my mind at ease.  Other than low vitamin D levels, I'm healthy as a horse across the board.  The plan is to keep up with the meds, meditation, add in some supplements, exercise, and keep seeing the psychiatrist for the next few months when I can start winding down.  I'm also down 10lbs of good weight which has been a pleasant surprise.

I do really feel like things are getting better but slowly.  Anyone thinking about getting sober after heavy alcohol use, I'd caution that your mind and body are likely not as healthy as you might think.  The GI issues have fucking sucked, the brain zaps have fucking sucked, and getting stuck in a feedback loop when they both kick in at the same time really fucking sucks.  When I look back to when I started this journey, there's a mountain of things I would have done differently but everyone is different and every experience is different.  The one thing I will say is get as much help as you can because of those facts.  I went at this solo and cold turkey to start and that was the wrong move.  There is no silver bullet for this and the sooner one accepts that fact the sooner you can start and even though it will be rough, you'll slowly start to have mornings like I'm having today.  Spray tanned, rested, and ready - and feeling great.  

Yesterday was 10 weeks.  Keep fighting the good fight.

Glenn

Keep going! Go to an IOP, they will help not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. Nothing at all but greatness and amazing change can be said for good treatment centers. I have done the cold turkey route many times and it seems to make it harder to stick versus having a group of help. Proud to hear of the work you’re putting in. Keep it up. 
“Drugs/alcohol gave me the wings to fly but they took away my blue sky” 

 

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