I'm An Alcoholic

[BearSchlong 8248]

For me it was Hershey kisses. Or foil covered chocolate footballs. Sitting in the car while dad got booze. At a different place every day.

[Celery Man 21099]

My sister just texted me to congratulate me on 5 years and I honestly might have forgotten if she didn't. What a difference 5 years makes, but even just the difference between now and 4 years ago.

[pch 1264]

7 hours ago, Celery Man said:

My sister just texted me to congratulate me on 5 years and I honestly might have forgotten if she didn't. What a difference 5 years makes, but even just the difference between now and 4 years ago.

Well done my friend.  My sister is always one to facetime me on my date and remind me how much she appreciates our relationship.  I sent her an amends letter and didn't hear from her until she came to Cowtown and called me out of the blue, four years later!  Glad your sister has a sober brother.

[ztejas 44234]

10 hours ago, Celery Man said:

My sister just texted me to congratulate me on 5 years and I honestly might have forgotten if she didn't. What a difference 5 years makes, but even just the difference between now and 4 years ago.

We really need women sometimes - don't we? Amazing the things they are good at that we are just fucking hopeless in attempting.

I was at dinner with my mom on Saturday and towards the end of our meal she goes "tomorrow will be 10 years since (insert her alcoholic brother) died"

Which, is kind of a big matzo ball to hang out there, but it wasn't like she was stewing on it all night, she just realized the date and made the comment in passing (as much as any comment like that can be made "in passing"). 

It's crazy sometimes how much we matter to other people despite rarely thinking about it. Take your example: it's entirely possible that you being clean for 5 years is a bigger deal to your sister than it is to you. I know that me being clean is a bigger deal to my mom than it is to me, yet at the same time I didn't get clean and don't stay in recovery for anyone else. 

Frothy emotional appeal didn't work for any of us (at least not for me) - that doesn't mean it doesn't exist - especially for those around us.

[Celery Man 21099]

I think for sure dates are more important to my sisters than to me. I know the date that my Mom died because, years later when I graduated from UT, one of my sisters towards the end of the night mentioned how it was probably a complicated day for me. Since my mom had died on that date in 2001. Nope, that was the first I had made that connection, and now I've seen my degree enough to remember that it's 5/23.

I do have 10/21 in my head. It's a more important birthday for me than my other one. But I almost missed my other one too. I think a big difference, a thing I've mentioned a lot (as have others to the point that it is one of those things people say) is the early sobriety distance between chips/mile markers. Getting to 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 6 months - each a struggle. And then I guess now it's just being ready to be vigilant. I can't say that I've had any close calls in a while, which maybe is good in a year when I lost my job, but there's a little runaway feeling every now and then. But time just goes, when it used to not.

Today is also my last day as a resident of Texas. That's weird. Maybe I'll pick up that 5 year chip when I get settled into Raleigh.

Man, losing the job, and then before that, last November I got shuffled around a bit in a way that was really demoralizing for me. I guess in retrospect I have gotten a bit unflappable, which is good - I kept up a good face and tried to take control, be productive, and didn't let on that I was slighted, but I was shook. It was a reduction in responsibility as my team got merged with another, with me under the "new" guy in more of a facilitation and less of a management role. I remember thinking that at least... the title looked nice and was a bit more in line with what I actually am, although internally it was obviously a diagonal step backwards, which even in the midst of a lot of organizational pressure and chaos doesn't bode well. But going through the experience of applying for jobs, seeing what I was getting interviews for and what I wasn't - that stupid title that I had for 5 months framed how people looked at me and opened up opportunities that would have been more difficult to get my foot in the door for without it. And now I have a similar title, really a different job, but it feels like a good fit and the right mix of responsibilities, and it's not a diminished position. I'm not "laid off" guy or "demoted" guy, I'm "guy we brought in to help us do this cool shit" guy. I feel like I'm veering into just talking about my rose colored glasses or whatever, but once again a scenario where a bunch of painful stuff happened and I kept just kinda rolling, trying to not be bothered by the stuff out of my control and do the best I can with what I do own, and that painful stuff set the course and kinda paved the way towards a place I'm excited about. One of these days that is going to happen and I'm going to roll right into something even worse. And I'll just have to stay vigilant and keep at it until I pass through to the good stuff.

[pch 1264]

21 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I think for sure dates are more important to my sisters than to me. I know the date that my Mom died because, years later when I graduated from UT, one of my sisters towards the end of the night mentioned how it was probably a complicated day for me. Since my mom had died on that date in 2001. Nope, that was the first I had made that connection, and now I've seen my degree enough to remember that it's 5/23.

I do have 10/21 in my head. It's a more important birthday for me than my other one. But I almost missed my other one too. I think a big difference, a thing I've mentioned a lot (as have others to the point that it is one of those things people say) is the early sobriety distance between chips/mile markers. Getting to 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 6 months - each a struggle. And then I guess now it's just being ready to be vigilant. I can't say that I've had any close calls in a while, which maybe is good in a year when I lost my job, but there's a little runaway feeling every now and then. But time just goes, when it used to not.

Today is also my last day as a resident of Texas. That's weird. Maybe I'll pick up that 5 year chip when I get settled into Raleigh.

Man, losing the job, and then before that, last November I got shuffled around a bit in a way that was really demoralizing for me. I guess in retrospect I have gotten a bit unflappable, which is good - I kept up a good face and tried to take control, be productive, and didn't let on that I was slighted, but I was shook. It was a reduction in responsibility as my team got merged with another, with me under the "new" guy in more of a facilitation and less of a management role. I remember thinking that at least... the title looked nice and was a bit more in line with what I actually am, although internally it was obviously a diagonal step backwards, which even in the midst of a lot of organizational pressure and chaos doesn't bode well. But going through the experience of applying for jobs, seeing what I was getting interviews for and what I wasn't - that stupid title that I had for 5 months framed how people looked at me and opened up opportunities that would have been more difficult to get my foot in the door for without it. And now I have a similar title, really a different job, but it feels like a good fit and the right mix of responsibilities, and it's not a diminished position. I'm not "laid off" guy or "demoted" guy, I'm "guy we brought in to help us do this cool shit" guy. I feel like I'm veering into just talking about my rose colored glasses or whatever, but once again a scenario where a bunch of painful stuff happened and I kept just kinda rolling, trying to not be bothered by the stuff out of my control and do the best I can with what I do own, and that painful stuff set the course and kinda paved the way towards a place I'm excited about. One of these days that is going to happen and I'm going to roll right into something even worse. And I'll just have to stay vigilant and keep at it until I pass through to the good stuff.

Hope your next great adventure in Raleigh is filled with new experiences and happy memories.  Keep us posted here as you begin your new opportunity. Cool shit guy has a nice ring to it.

[BearSchlong 8248]

We remember the day Celery ended up in rehab. I can't believe its been 5 years!! Congratulations!

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Thoughts on 0.0% beer?  Since day 1 of sobriety, I have not had one, nor wanted one.  I had some this past week.  My thoughts are that I don't think it is a good idea for me, so I will refrain moving forward.

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

13 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Thoughts on 0.0% beer?  Since day 1 of sobriety, I have not had one, nor wanted one.  I had some this past week.  My thoughts are that I don't think it is a good idea for me, so I will refrain moving forward.

Haven't had 0.0, but O'doul's put me back to drinking once after two months of sobriety. Granted, I wasn't trying hard to quit and really didn't want to, so we all know how that goes. But I downed one, downed half another one and it wasn't 10 minutes before I was at the liquor store. 

I have friends who are alcoholics that handle it fine. I'm not going to attempt it again myself, I don't think. I'm not that confident yet. 

[Kennythetiger 9642]

I always figured it was like drinking decaffeinated coffee. Remove the good stuff, and what’s the point?  

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

I always figured it was like drinking decaffeinated coffee. Remove the good stuff, and what’s the point?  

I absolutely loved the taste.  It took me back.  Reminded me how much I loved the taste of beer.  But I told my buddy, "I want to sit and pound this entire 6 pack of NA beer.  I don't think the same way about a 6 pack of Diet Mt. Dew.  So... Yeah, this is not good.  No more for me."  

Cunning and baffling 

[BearSchlong 8248]

My sponsor put it this way - "hang out in the barber shop long enough and eventually you'll get a haircut."

I can't imagine a situation where I would think it ok to quaff NA beer.

[ztejas 44234]

7 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

My sponsor put it this way - "hang out in the barber shop long enough and eventually you'll get a haircut."

Yeah - not just your sponsor. That's an oft repeated ism in the rooms.

Personally I think it's kind of silly. Getting a haircut isn't going to ruin my life. And I can't hide from alcohol in social settings the rest of my life. There's definitely a lot of truth in that the alcoholic and addict that beat around the bush probably aren't done using - but for those of us working a program that most of the time don't really have a desire to drink there's no reason that an environment with alcohol in it should be what takes us back out.

That doesn't mean it's a good idea to tempt fate by hanging out in bars drinking club soda and limes, but if I'm spiritually fit and comfortable with my recovery then I should be able to go to a bar and not wind up drinking. And I have done that several times now even in early recovery. Just to sit by myself and watch sports - not to get some fix by proxy. I might end up drinking 6 or 7 iced teas or diet cokes but that's all gravy.

Bars can be kind of funny and eye-opening, too. You see a lot of people that drink "normally". They'll come sit at the bar, order a drink, order something to eat, maybe get a 2nd drink - maybe not - pay their tab and leave. And I'm sitting there thinking: "What the hell are you doing? You're doing it all wrong!" 

(Now, if someone sitting next to me started railing cocaine and xanax and downing triple bourbons on the rocks then I might have to change scenery)

[Jerry Callo 8965]

23 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

I absolutely loved the taste.  It took me back.  Reminded me how much I loved the taste of beer.  But I told my buddy, "I want to sit and pound this entire 6 pack of NA beer.  I don't think the same way about a 6 pack of Diet Mt. Dew.  So... Yeah, this is not good.  No more for me."  

Cunning and baffling 

I have to admit the thought of binge drinking NA beer is pretty funny. 

I mentioned upthread about my alcoholic father that enjoyed O'Douls when he stopped drinking - unfortunately he never really stopped drinking.

[TexArcher 39074]

I can go to a bar and I don't feel the urge to drink.  There has to be a reason to go, and it's pretty much always live music or a game at Pluckers, and everyone who knows me would slap a beer out of my hand if I ordered one anyway.  It's worth noting that I'm around 7.5 years sober and I avoided being in the same room with alcohol under any circumstances for over a year.

But even now, I wouldn't put a non-alcoholic beer to my lips.  Too many neural associations, etc.  Not a chance.

[BearSchlong 8248]

Now that the object of my resentment and the source of my home group's sickness is a fugitive wanted on numerous felony warrants (see the APD bookings thread, he made the list and then Travis County fucked up and let him out without a GPS ankle monitor), we have some good meetings. Fantastic meetings.

New guy from Friday - got blackout drunk, passed out at a traffic light, well meaning good samaritan citizen found his address from his drivers license and drove him home.

Happened again 2 hours later, different citizen.

[El Diablo 4232]

You never ever hear of the needle drug folks shooting up near coke or near H, or the pipe crowd smoking near crack. Folks would think that was pretty nutso. I guess there's some level of social acceptance of the method of ingestion that makes near beer "okay" but are my comparisons really that far off the mark for an alcoholic? 

Mental masturbation is what I was told. 

[Reagan1k 3042]

On 10/24/2020 at 11:33 AM, ztejas said:

Yeah - not just your sponsor. That's an oft repeated ism in the rooms.

Personally I think it's kind of silly. Getting a haircut isn't going to ruin my life. And I can't hide from alcohol in social settings the rest of my life. There's definitely a lot of truth in that the alcoholic and addict that beat around the bush probably aren't done using - but for those of us working a program that most of the time don't really have a desire to drink there's no reason that an environment with alcohol in it should be what takes us back out.

That doesn't mean it's a good idea to tempt fate by hanging out in bars drinking club soda and limes, but if I'm spiritually fit and comfortable with my recovery then I should be able to go to a bar and not wind up drinking. And I have done that several times now even in early recovery. Just to sit by myself and watch sports - not to get some fix by proxy. I might end up drinking 6 or 7 iced teas or diet cokes but that's all gravy.

Bars can be kind of funny and eye-opening, too. You see a lot of people that drink "normally". They'll come sit at the bar, order a drink, order something to eat, maybe get a 2nd drink - maybe not - pay their tab and leave. And I'm sitting there thinking: "What the hell are you doing? You're doing it all wrong!" 

(Now, if someone sitting next to me started railing cocaine and xanax and downing triple bourbons on the rocks then I might have to change scenery)

I don't believe the barber shop quote is made in reference to bars, but rather playing around the edges of the drink....i.e. near beer or NA beer.  Eventually you end up in the chair where the shears are cutting.

I go to bars, i bartend for friends and family, and I go to the liquor store for my wife.  No issues....doesn't even cross my mind.  

NA beer however......I'm not touching it.  No desire and not interested in testing fate.  Non alcoholic beer is for non alcoholics.

I don't have that luxury to spin that wheel of life so I won't.  The juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Very different than going to a bar and drinking a coke.  Being in a bar isn't going to trigger my allergy.  Some amount of alcohol will - how much I don't know and that's a Russian roulette game I'm not willing to play.  Even 0.0% beer introduces a taste and romancing factor that might play on a mental obsession.  

I personally stay away from it.  YMMV.

 

[Reagan1k 3042]

8 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Now that the object of my resentment and the source of my home group's sickness is a fugitive wanted on numerous felony warrants (see the APD bookings thread, he made the list and then Travis County fucked up and let him out without a GPS ankle monitor), we have some good meetings. Fantastic meetings.

Lemme guess??????   Alex, I'll take .......Spiritual giant, self appointed sheriff of meeting protocol, fancied himself Bill W. reincarnate and then killed someone driving drunk a few hours after a meeting  Now facing vehicular homicide and on the run to avoid paying the piper???????  Did I win? 

Seen a few recently I suspected were talking the talk but stumble-drunking the walk at the same time.  Too much pride to admit they'd gone back out????

[BearSchlong 8248]

Lemme guess??????   Alex, I'll take .......Spiritual giant, self appointed sheriff of meeting protocol, fancied himself Bill W. reincarnate and then killed someone driving drunk a few hours after a meeting  Now facing vehicular homicide and on the run to avoid paying the piper???????  Did I win?  Seen a few recently I suspected were talking the talk but stumble-drunking the walk at the same time.  Too much pride to admit they'd gone back out???? 

 

Very plausible scenario, but no. Worse, in my estimate. Guy comes in, says he's alcoholic but never once talks about his drinking.. Not once. Memorizes the big book and can recite any part of it. Becomes a parrot. A soulless, sociopath parrot.

 

Mid 40s guy, preys upon very young women for years, including his 15 year old fiance that he drags to meetings. Recruits his own faction of homeless guys and gives them a roof over their heads, jobs washing cars at his car lots, and acts like the 2nd coming of Bill W. Doesn't pay them, says the work is in exchange for room and board. Newcomers think this is all part of AA. Uses the book to justify it all. Just takes the group and many individuals hostage.

 

"Only I can fix the problems" heard that anywhere lately?

 

All the women he fucked over joined forces and marched down to the DA and filed criminal complaints, sexual assault, statutory rape. . .he gets arrested, bonds out before they can get an ankle monitor on him, absconds to Austin, goes to AA and tells them all how the meanies in AA Beaumont abandoned him, gets arrested in Austin but Travis County let's him out before they read the conditions on the request to apprehend from Jefferson county. I actually got calls from Austin AA friends telling me his tale of woe and asking if it were true.

 

And it wasn't just my home group, he went to every single available meeting within 30 miles, all day, everyday.

 

Imo its a microcosm of Trumpism in AA.

 

Now he is a fugitive from justice.

 

 

[Reagan1k 3042]

Damn - That sounds more like an episode of Law and Order rather than the normal AA drama to which one becomes accustomed.

For the victims' sake, I hope they catch him and stop the cycle.

[ztejas 44234]

5 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Very plausible scenario, but no. Worse, in my estimate. Guy comes in, says he's alcoholic but never once talks about his drinking.. Not once. Memorizes the big book and can recite any part of it. Becomes a parrot. A soulless, sociopath parrot.

 

Mid 40s guy, preys upon very young women for years, including his 15 year old fiance that he drags to meetings. Recruits his own faction of homeless guys and gives them a roof over their heads, jobs washing cars at his car lots, and acts like the 2nd coming of Bill W. Doesn't pay them, says the work is in exchange for room and board. Newcomers think this is all part of AA. Uses the book to justify it all. Just takes the group and many individuals hostage.

 

"Only I can fix the problems" heard that anywhere lately?

 

All the women he fucked over joined forces and marched down to the DA and filed criminal complaints, sexual assault, statutory rape. . .he gets arrested, bonds out before they can get an ankle monitor on him, absconds to Austin, goes to AA and tells them all how the meanies in AA Beaumont abandoned him, gets arrested in Austin but Travis County let's him out before they read the conditions on the request to apprehend from Jefferson county. I actually got calls from Austin AA friends telling me his tale of woe and asking if it were true.

 

And it wasn't just my home group, he went to every single available meeting within 30 miles, all day, everyday.

 

Imo its a microcosm of Trumpism in AA.

 

Now he is a fugitive from justice.

 

 

Sounds less like Trumpism more like Hubbardism.

Is he still hiding out in Austin? Would it be worth it to notify authorities of his presence? If so maybe pm me his name and description so I can keep an eye out.

[Pam Cummings 9883]

On 10/23/2020 at 7:39 AM, ernest_t_bass said:

Thoughts on 0.0% beer?  Since day 1 of sobriety, I have not had one, nor wanted one.  I had some this past week.  My thoughts are that I don't think it is a good idea for me, so I will refrain moving forward.

I've never understood this bit. The whole point of booze is to get drunk, why would you wanna taste it if that's not what you're doing?

[Pam Cummings 9883]

6 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Very plausible scenario, but no. Worse, in my estimate. Guy comes in, says he's alcoholic but never once talks about his drinking.. Not once. Memorizes the big book and can recite any part of it. Becomes a parrot. A soulless, sociopath parrot.

 

Mid 40s guy, preys upon very young women for years, including his 15 year old fiance that he drags to meetings. Recruits his own faction of homeless guys and gives them a roof over their heads, jobs washing cars at his car lots, and acts like the 2nd coming of Bill W. Doesn't pay them, says the work is in exchange for room and board. Newcomers think this is all part of AA. Uses the book to justify it all. Just takes the group and many individuals hostage.

 

"Only I can fix the problems" heard that anywhere lately?

 

All the women he fucked over joined forces and marched down to the DA and filed criminal complaints, sexual assault, statutory rape. . .he gets arrested, bonds out before they can get an ankle monitor on him, absconds to Austin, goes to AA and tells them all how the meanies in AA Beaumont abandoned him, gets arrested in Austin but Travis County let's him out before they read the conditions on the request to apprehend from Jefferson county. I actually got calls from Austin AA friends telling me his tale of woe and asking if it were true.

 

And it wasn't just my home group, he went to every single available meeting within 30 miles, all day, everyday.

 

Imo its a microcosm of Trumpism in AA.

 

Now he is a fugitive from justice.

 

 

That guy is predatory. I can't begin to tell you the amount of resentment i am also feeling toward this individual and i don't even know him. Hope he gets what he deserves, did you all ever try kicking him out? How did it go?

[BearSchlong 8248]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Sounds less like Trumpism more like Hubbardism.

Is he still hiding out in Austin? Would it be worth it to notify authorities of his presence? If so maybe pm me his name and description so I can keep an eye out.

PM sent.  Doubt he's in Austin anymore.

45 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

 did you all ever try kicking him out? How did it go?

No, though in hindsight we should have - but most of his actual crimes were exposed only when the women came forward, almost after the fact.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

11 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Imo its a microcosm of Trumpism in AA.

I personally really don't want to read this shit when I come to the AA thread. I get that you feel like you've discovered the way and the truth and the life this year, but I'd rather we all stick to the 10th tradition instead of acting like these kinds of little digs are kosher.

[BearSchlong 8248]

I personally really don't want to read this shit when I come to the AA thread. I get that you feel like you've discovered the way and the truth and the life this year, but I'd rather we all stick to the 10th tradition instead of acting like these kinds of little digs are kosher.

I'd never say something like that in an actual meeting. No offense intended.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

7 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

10 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I personally really don't want to read this shit when I come to the AA thread. I get that you feel like you've discovered the way and the truth and the life this year, but I'd rather we all stick to the 10th tradition instead of acting like these kinds of little digs are kosher.

I'd never say something like that in an actual meeting. No offense intended.

We wouldn't be sitting around talking about a third party either (I am not criticizing that, the information and discussion is both valid and valuable), so I get it, this thread is somewhat different than the rooms. I happen to think the way the 10th manifests is unbelievably brilliant in this day and age and I'm a little zealous about it. 

[BearSchlong 8248]

2020 makes me focuses on the similarities, not the differences. A few weeks ago I actually violated the 10th with a fellow member before the meeting, and had to make direct amends after the meeting. Didn't want to but I had to because if I didn't then it would be taking solace in righteous anger.

Its a group thing, though. My sponsor and I have had lots of debates about politics and other topics when its just us having lunch, we couldn't be more different in those aspects if we tried.

Do I want to be happy or right? Seemingly innocuous jabs could become harmful not helpful. Good meditation topic.

[Bash Riprock 1695]

I got news yesterday that a good friend of mine passed away because of Heroin. It really fucked with me. I have been to like 9 rehabs and I met this guy in.....I think....the 7th rehab. It was in Egypt, TX outside Houston. Great Oaks is the name of the place if I remember correctly. I got on a plane in Lubbock and flew straight to Houston. I hadn't eaten in 3 days. I was sweating profusely waiting in the terminal. There was this young good looking couple that sat next to me on the plane and I knew they thought I was mentally ill as I was drenched in sweat and shaking. The boyfriend leaned in and said "Are you okay" I replied "I am going to rehab". He gave me a look of "Cool, I got you". His smoke show girlfriend thought I was scared of flying and she told me to order a drink. The boyfriend being my new sponsor shot that shit down quickly. 

I get off the plane, head to Hard Rock Café and down two double and 7s while some dude is supposed to be picking me up outside. I finally stagger outside, he has a sign and he drives me to bum fuck Egypt, TX. I get there and it looks like an old plantation. I just want to see the nurse and get some Librium immediately. They go through my things and say you're bunking with a guy named Micah in Room 9. Cool. When the Nurse Tech said that "I was bunking with Micah" everyone laughed. All the sober people who had been there for one or two weeks laughed and high fived. "Micah is a axe murder" "Micah is a homosexual" "Micah should be in a faciality that deals with mental illness".

I'm like whatever. I get my things together and Micah shows up. He says hi and asks he if can carry my bags for me. It was a 5 minute walk. Micah is going on and on about how shitty the place was and how the nurses watch you when you take your nightly meds, shit I don't care about. Finally we get to our room and Micah says something like "Hey I'm a homosexual, I just want to put that out there". I said "I don't care, I just want to take a shower". He gave me a towel and a fresh bar of Irish Spring. BEST SHOWER EVER. After I got out he shortly came back to the room and said that "Hey the Rockets are on and everyone was watching the game". I said  something like I need to sleep and I mentioned about not getting any Copenhagen before I left. He gave me two cans and told me to sleep well. 

In group sessions Micah could recite the Book forwards and backwards. He was always listening and helping. I stayed in contact with him. I had dinner with him and his SO in 2019 at some place in Austin. Such a sweet soul.

They found him yesterday morning with a needle in his arm. 24 years old.

Fuck this disease. 

[hullabelew 3730]

On 10/26/2020 at 8:54 AM, BearSchlong said:

Very plausible scenario, but no. Worse, in my estimate. Guy comes in, says he's alcoholic but never once talks about his drinking.. Not once. Memorizes the big book and can recite any part of it. Becomes a parrot. A soulless, sociopath parrot.

 

Mid 40s guy, preys upon very young women for years, including his 15 year old fiance that he drags to meetings. Recruits his own faction of homeless guys and gives them a roof over their heads, jobs washing cars at his car lots, and acts like the 2nd coming of Bill W. Doesn't pay them, says the work is in exchange for room and board. Newcomers think this is all part of AA. Uses the book to justify it all. Just takes the group and many individuals hostage.

 

"Only I can fix the problems" heard that anywhere lately?

 

All the women he fucked over joined forces and marched down to the DA and filed criminal complaints, sexual assault, statutory rape. . .he gets arrested, bonds out before they can get an ankle monitor on him, absconds to Austin, goes to AA and tells them all how the meanies in AA Beaumont abandoned him, gets arrested in Austin but Travis County let's him out before they read the conditions on the request to apprehend from Jefferson county. I actually got calls from Austin AA friends telling me his tale of woe and asking if it were true.

 

And it wasn't just my home group, he went to every single available meeting within 30 miles, all day, everyday.

 

Imo its a microcosm of Trumpism in AA.

 

Now he is a fugitive from justice.

 

 

What was the arrest for in Travis County?  

[BearSchlong 8248]

Request to apprehend

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

16 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

Request to apprehend

I feel like those always need more color.

"Request to Apprehend Due To Knife-Related Violence", that sort of thing, would get more attention. "Request to Apprehend, MAJOR PERVERT Y'ALL, Like Seriously".  The way they do it now, even if you're inclined to vigilantism, it just doesn't give you enough background to get you off the couch. 

[BearSchlong 8248]

lol I agree.  Whole new subset of charges.

[pch 1264]

I'm on my fifth day of quarantine today.  The benefit of this is that I get to remain on the 7am zoom meeting for the entire hour and hear just what I need just when I need it.  On Friday I received a call from my daughter in law in California telling me my son is not doing well.  He was diagnosed as manic depressive as a teenager and given medication to help him maintain a level of emotional balance.  When I spoke with him, he was definitely not on his medication, threatening to end his life, and overall, in a downward spiral.  In addition, he is one of us and has relapsed, stating that the program is not helping him deal with his mental illness. I encouraged him not to follow through with his threat but to get back on his medication and report to his medical provider what is going on. I spoke to my ex and her husband after the call ended and they want to fly out there and save him from himself.  We agreed to wait until we heard from his provider on Monday what our response should be and then Saturday, her husband flew out there anyway.  Thank God I have a program that let's me keep my mouth shut in times like these and constantly reminds me to accept the things I cannot change.  At this moment, I am serene in the knowledge that the God of my understanding has this situation and am comforted in knowing that He is my source of strength in good times and bad.  While I am sad and somewhat in fear, I am going to continue to do the next right thing by trusting Him, speaking/listening to the spiritual mentors I have been blessed with, and awaiting the result of my PcR regarding Covid-19. It is my sister's 67th birthday and I am going to facetime her in Boise to tell her how much I love and appreciate her.  It's a good day to be sober-hell, any day that ends in y is!  Say a prayer for Clark today if you get a chance.  Thanks. Glad to be here not wanting a drink.

[BearSchlong 8248]

Thoughts and prayers sent up for Clark.  Amen, good day to be sober.

You have Covid or are quarantined due to exposure?

Edited November 2, 2020 by BearSchlong

[pch 1264]

7 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

Thoughts and prayers sent up for Clark.  Amen, good day to be sober.

You have Covid or are quarantined due to exposure?

Exposure.  My boss doesn't wear a mask in meetings and was diagnosed on Tuesday of last week. Those of us who have been in meetings (all wearing masks) in our conference room were all tested and so far, nobody has come back positive.  Thanks for the prayers.

[pch 1264]

This just in: NEGATIVE PCR for me so I am out of quarantine and gratefully going back to work tomorrow. 

[futureman 22705]

On 10/24/2020 at 9:34 AM, ernest_t_bass said:

I absolutely loved the taste.  It took me back.  Reminded me how much I loved the taste of beer.  

some beer tastes pretty good, some beer isn’t hard to get down, some beer tastes like fucking piss, and then there’s NA beer.  there is not a good reason to drink it. 

[futureman 22705]

On 10/24/2020 at 11:33 AM, ztejas said:

Personally I think it's kind of silly. Getting a haircut isn't going to ruin my life.

[gglad8r 2]

On 10/28/2020 at 11:17 AM, Bash Riprock said:

I got news yesterday that a good friend of mine passed away because of Heroin. It really fucked with me. I have been to like 9 rehabs and I met this guy in.....I think....the 7th rehab. It was in Egypt, TX outside Houston. Great Oaks is the name of the place if I remember correctly. I got on a plane in Lubbock and flew straight to Houston. I hadn't eaten in 3 days. I was sweating profusely waiting in the terminal. There was this young good looking couple that sat next to me on the plane and I knew they thought I was mentally ill as I was drenched in sweat and shaking. The boyfriend leaned in and said "Are you okay" I replied "I am going to rehab". He gave me a look of "Cool, I got you". His smoke show girlfriend thought I was scared of flying and she told me to order a drink. The boyfriend being my new sponsor shot that shit down quickly. 

I get off the plane, head to Hard Rock Café and down two double and 7s while some dude is supposed to be picking me up outside. I finally stagger outside, he has a sign and he drives me to bum fuck Egypt, TX. I get there and it looks like an old plantation. I just want to see the nurse and get some Librium immediately. They go through my things and say you're bunking with a guy named Micah in Room 9. Cool. When the Nurse Tech said that "I was bunking with Micah" everyone laughed. All the sober people who had been there for one or two weeks laughed and high fived. "Micah is a axe murder" "Micah is a homosexual" "Micah should be in a faciality that deals with mental illness".

I'm like whatever. I get my things together and Micah shows up. He says hi and asks he if can carry my bags for me. It was a 5 minute walk. Micah is going on and on about how shitty the place was and how the nurses watch you when you take your nightly meds, shit I don't care about. Finally we get to our room and Micah says something like "Hey I'm a homosexual, I just want to put that out there". I said "I don't care, I just want to take a shower". He gave me a towel and a fresh bar of Irish Spring. BEST SHOWER EVER. After I got out he shortly came back to the room and said that "Hey the Rockets are on and everyone was watching the game". I said  something like I need to sleep and I mentioned about not getting any Copenhagen before I left. He gave me two cans and told me to sleep well. 

In group sessions Micah could recite the Book forwards and backwards. He was always listening and helping. I stayed in contact with him. I had dinner with him and his SO in 2019 at some place in Austin. Such a sweet soul.

They found him yesterday morning with a needle in his arm. 24 years old.

Fuck this disease. 

Damn.

[El Diablo 4232]

Thanks for sharing that. So damned young. I know when I was that age I literally told a counselor that I didn't have time to get clean and sober, I had plans! RIP young dude.

[strangulation! 1716]

i have a family member that is an alcoholic and he needs help. if he doesn't quit drinking he will die at a very young age, he's been told this by multiple doctors. thus far he's refused professional help as he thinks he can do it on his own (he 100% cannot).

what can i and others in my family do to help him? any advice is greatly appreciated as this is new territory for most everyone else in his circle.

[ztejas 44234]

11 minutes ago, strangulation! said:

i have a family member that is an alcoholic and he needs help. if he doesn't quit drinking he will die at a very young age, he's been told this by multiple doctors. thus far he's refused professional help as he thinks he can do it on his own (he 100% cannot).

what can i and others in my family do to help him? any advice is greatly appreciated as this is new territory for most everyone else in his circle.

What is his immediate family situation?

And if he thinks he can do it on his own, you're in a pretty good place, as it sounds like the battle is convincing him he needs help.

If he was truly too far gone he might refuse to admit he has a problem or not even entertain the idea of quitting.

[Dewey 3333]

Have another, sober alcoholic talk to him. 

[TwiceHorn 32087]

13 minutes ago, strangulation! said:

i have a family member that is an alcoholic and he needs help. if he doesn't quit drinking he will die at a very young age, he's been told this by multiple doctors. thus far he's refused professional help as he thinks he can do it on his own (he 100% cannot).

what can i and others in my family do to help him? any advice is greatly appreciated as this is new territory for most everyone else in his circle.

There isn't much you can do to help him.  In the nature of conventional help.

You could attempt to stage an intervention.  Some on here have some recommendations for professional interventionists.  @Augustus

At the intervention, or should you seek counseling or attend Al-Anon, you will likely discover that many of the things your family has done "for" him are enabling his behaviors.

In the final analysis, the alcoholic/addict has to make his own decision to get sober for his or herself.  There are nudges that can lead the horse to water, but only the horse can drink, or stop drinking, as it were.  The main nudge is to experience consequences:  relationships, legal issues, health issues, job/money/housing issues.  At some point, the difficulty posed by those issues can exceed the necessity to drink or drug.  As a family, you need to make a serious assessment if anything you are doing is sheltering him in any way from experiencing consequences.

The "I can do it on my own" isn't likely an indication of any willingness to get sober or even consider it.  Like everything else, it is the alcoholic/addict's attempt to do everything on their own terms, which really are alcohol's terms, at this point.

[strangulation! 1716]

25 minutes ago, ztejas said:

What is his immediate family situation?

And if he thinks he can do it on his own, you're in a pretty good place, as it sounds like the battle is convincing him he needs help.

If he was truly too far gone he might refuse to admit he has a problem or not even entertain the idea of quitting.

Wife and two young kids. Wife knows he needs help but is almost at her wit’s end. His sweet kids are probably oblivious as it’s all they’ve known of him. His parents/siblings would only pour gas on the fire. 

[strangulation! 1716]

20 minutes ago, Dewey said:

Have another, sober alcoholic talk to him. 

Great advice, and I know a guy who will do that for me. Going to talk to my buddy today.

[strangulation! 1716]

23 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

 

The "I can do it on my own" isn't likely an indication of any willingness to get sober or even consider it.  Like everything else, it is the alcoholic/addict's attempt to do everything on their own terms, which really are alcohol's terms, at this point.

Thanks for all the insights, and the quoted above is my fear. He’s been told to stop drinking or he will die, presumably he has the wherewithal to know the burden that will leave on his wife and young kids.

[TwiceHorn 32087]

4 hours ago, strangulation! said:

Great advice, and I know a guy who will do that for me. Going to talk to my buddy today.

It really is good advice.  Someone in recovery can talk to him in a way that no one else can.  Despite 22 years of sobriety, I have somehow mostly managed to avoid being a "first responder" for the active drinker.  I usually get with them after they start coming to meetings, often after a stint in some form of rehab, which does not dispose of reluctance by any stretch of the imagination, but it is slightly different.