Matt Gaetz aka "Botoxed Butthead"

[TexasEd 8017]

8 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I went to prom my sophomore year in the classic cheapest-available rented powder blue tuxedo.  I was basically a walking zit with a perpetual erection, yet I looked more put together than this:

Same haberdasher as George Santos

 

[Macanudo 12791]

41 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

How are his hips wider than his shoulders?

Those are birthing hips.

[Pato del Muerto 52093]

Parasitic forehead syndrome. His shoulders were underdeveloped because his forehead was taking more than its share of resources. 

[MC Fresh Breath 4074]

12 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

I’m not sure this came off the way he wanted it to. Or maybe it did and he’s just racist as all fuck. 

Pretty strongly positive it is the latter.  

[Pato del Muerto 52093]

Just now, MC Fresh Breath said:

Pretty strongly positive it is the latter.  

I mean, if a group are racist shitheads, isn’t it only right that they are represented by a racist shithead?  Isn’t that the intention of congressional districts?

[MC Fresh Breath 4074]

That and I'm not sure the area of Florida he represents cares about him being "Cawthorned."   Pretty positive they are going to need more than underage sex and drug parties to turn them off. 

['stache 21564]

14 hours ago, Pancho said:

 

 

Holy shit, Markwayne's alive? I was told Inhofe demanded he be given handlers to make him shut the fuck up, which by all appearances worked, because I haven't heard shit from him in months. This little detail is kind fun, good work Senator! Aho, my Cherokee brother!

[Covri 6150]

On 10/3/2023 at 7:56 AM, YGIFS said:

He was checking to make sure he had his digital voting card (the one all House members carry).  He just so happened to have an itch on his nose around the same time.  He wasn't doing blow on the House Floor.  He has a lot of issues, but he doesn't do coke for myriad reasons.  He's tried it (he's a young guy in Florida after all), but he's not a regular user.  

Think about how many GOP'ers scream every single day about all the fentanyl pouring in through our Souther Border by brown people.  And think about how odd it is that none of them, with all their drug addictions, have ever had a bad batch.  Don, Jr. doesn't travel with coke.  He has somebody buy it in whatever city he's visiting, from just the local supply.  Gaetz is actually smart enough to not risk that.  But sooner or later, on any given timeline, everybody's luck runs out.

Yes, but where does Heidi Cruz fit into all this?

 

4 hours ago, Bookman said:

Matt Gaetz seems like the kind of guy who listens to "It Was a Good Day" constantly.

*Great Day

 

 

[YGIFS 19445]

No idea where she fits in.  I’m guessing the two of them have little idea who one another even are.  Maybe they met at DC hoops game or something?  I dunno.  
 

2026 florida GOP primary for US senator gonna be lit as fuck.  DeSantis, Rick Scott on his legacy tour, Matt Gaetz, and Don Trump Junior.  Giving “Florida man” a whole new meaning.  

[Herpa Derpa 6089]

6 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Those are birthing hips.

So you're saying Gaetz is a repressed pre-op? Explains a lot.

[safe sex 11608]

Let's not. It doesn't

[Aqua Buddha 14216]

Motherfuckers like Gaetz are well known in the high end escort world.  Books an extended appointment (+8 hours) and shows up on cocaine and viagra and wants to literally fuck all night.  That's why the women will state something like they require a minimum 6-8 hours sleep on an overnight.  That's to ward off the Matt Gaetz's of the world.

[Bodhi 1086]

39 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Motherfuckers like Gaetz are well known in the high end escort world.  Books an extended appointment (+8 hours) and shows up on cocaine and viagra and wants to literally fuck all night.  That's why the women will state something like they require a minimum 6-8 hours sleep on an overnight.  

[Beau Vine 53718]

1 hour ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Motherfuckers like Gaetz are well known in the high end escort world.  Books an extended appointment (+8 hours) and shows up on cocaine and viagra and wants to literally fuck all night.  That's why the women will state something like they require a minimum 6-8 hours sleep on an overnight.  That's to ward off the Matt Gaetz's of the world.

[956 Worldwide 34006]

3 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

Motherfuckers like Gaetz are well known in the high end escort world.  Books an extended appointment (+8 hours) and shows up on cocaine and viagra and wants to literally fuck all night.  That's why the women will state something like they require a minimum 6-8 hours sleep on an overnight.  That's to ward off the Matt Gaetz's of the world.

[Satchel 6902]

Gaetz is on tape telling the truth for once. Republicans are the most cynical people alive:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/during-online-fundraiser-matt-gaetz-110000805.html

Days before Rep. Matt Gaetz led an effort to oust Kevin McCarthy as House speaker, Gaetz and Rep. Matt Rosendale, a fellow Freedom Caucus member, denounced as a political stunt Republicans’ high-stakes effort to impeach President Joe Biden, according to a video obtained by NBC News.

At an invitation-only fundraiser held over Zoom last week, Gaetz, R-Fla., and Rosendale, who is said to be plotting another Senate run next year, heaped skepticism on the probe.

“I don’t believe that we are endeavoring upon a legitimate impeachment of Joe Biden,” Gaetz told Steve Bannon, a podcaster and onetime political adviser to former President Donald Trump, who was moderating the discussion.

As they fielded questions from high-dollar conservative donors, Gaetz and Rosendale were just days away from moving to end McCarthy’s speakership — and tipping the Republican caucus into its own protracted battle over who will lead the conference.

Gaetz, Rosendale and the small faction of Republicans who ousted McCarthy, R-Calif., still hold tremendous leverage as the House tries to find a replacement. Whether the group could seek to use that leverage to extract concessions from the future speaker — including how the House proceeds on issues like impeachment — is yet to be seen. One of the impeachment leaders is also a candidate for speaker, Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan, R-Ohio.

During the fundraiser, Rosendale joined Gaetz in denouncing the Republicans’ hotly tipped impeachment inquiry.

Rosendale likened Congress’ probe of Biden to the federal indictment of the president’s son Hunter, which critics say has been tainted by preferential treatment and argue is a “smokescreen” intended to deflect attention from more serious crimes they accuse Hunter Biden of having committed, like working for foreign interests to influence U.S. policy.

“They’re doing the exact same thing,” Rosendale said.

Gaetz said: “I just don’t get the sense that it’s for the sake of impeachment. I think it’s for the sake of having another bad thing to say about Joe Biden.”

[WhatTheBuck 28613]

Well, duh.

[Zonahorn 7968]

Matt Gaetz is a loser

[Gil Bang 25651]

at the 3:15 mark

 

 

[C-Man 26696]

This thread has fallen WAY too far off the front page. Seems the House 'Pubs had so much fun expelling Santos, they might be ready to do it again depending on how bad the ethics report is on Gaetz.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2023/12/07/matt-gaetz-house-republicans-whisper-expelling-george-santos/71840867007/

Quote

WASHINGTON −Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla., continues to draw the ire of his Republican colleagues in the House weeks after he led the ouster of Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., from the speakership, and some of his detractors have privately floating expelling him from Congress. 

Several Republican House members, many of whom are still angry at Gaetz for his antics that impeded McCarthy and the majority of the conference from passing legislation, have begun to discuss Gaetz’s ongoing investigation by the House Ethics Committee in the wake of the expulsion of embattled former Rep. George Santos, R-N.Y.

Leading up to Santos’ expulsion, multiple opponents of his removal publicly voiced their concerns about expelling a member who had not been convicted of a crime, which would overturn the precedent set by Congress in modern times.

One of those members was Gaetz himself, who openly defended Santos on the House floor.

“I rise not to defend George Santos whoever he is, but to defend the very precedent that my colleagues are willing to shatter,” Gaetz said last week.

One House Republican, who spoke to USA TODAY on the condition of anonymity to speak candidly about conversations between their colleagues, said GOP members were well aware of the future consequences of expelling Santos.

“There were a number of people who voted to expel Santos with the express intent of thinking through the precedent there on what happens next,” the member said. “There was a lot of forethought about the precedent and what would happen when a report on Gaetz comes out.”

Gaetz led the handful of Republicans who voted to remove McCarthy from the top job in the House earlier this year. After the lawmakers voted with Democrats to boot McCarthy, it led to weeks of infighting in the fractured Republican conference to select another leader. Though lawmakers eventually rallied around now-Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., it used up weeks of time as lawmakers tried to reach a temporary agreement to avoid a government shutdown.

GOP lawmakers, the Republican said, are much more “excited” to expel Gaetz than Santos if the House Ethics Committee releases a report that is just as damning for Gaetz as it was for the Long Island Republican.

The House Ethics Committee is investigating various allegations against Gaetz, including accusations of sexual misconduct, illicit drug use and misuse of campaign funds. The committee has reached out to at least one witness in its investigation in a sign the panel is turning to Gaetz after concluding its investigation into Santos, CNN reported. The Justice Department investigated Gaetz over sex trafficking allegations but decided not to pursue charges against him in February

The House Ethics Committee, a bipartisan panel evenly divided between Republicans and Democrats, has been criticized for being slow-moving and having limited options for punishment if it finds wrongdoing. 

However, after Santos' expulsion following the committee's scathing report showing substantial evidence he broke federal law members had renewed hopes it could act swiftly and promptly to address congressional wrongdoing.

“One of the complaints that you often hear is that things often go to the ethics committee and it takes an extended period of time,” Rep. Michael Guest, R-Miss., chair of the committee, said last week. “I think that’s unfair for members of Congress and for members of this body.”

“It’s important that the ethics committee do their work, that they return their reports in a timely fashion,” so members could face the proper repercussions, Guest said. 

Another House Republican who spoke to USA TODAY on the condition of anonymity to speak about the conference’s attitude towards Gaetz, said members are waiting for any ethics report on Gaetz to be released before publicly calling for his ouster. 

“If there’s anything in there that’s bad, I can guarantee people will have their fangs out. He is hated in our conference,” the House Republican said. “If he comes back as guilty in this ethics thing, I think he’s in trouble.”

In a recent closed-door conference meeting, the Republican recalled, Gaetz stood up to speak but was yelled at by members “to sit down and shut up,” reflecting the animosity GOP lawmakers still harbor for Gaetz.

But other Republicans are raising concerns their peers may be weaponizing the ethics committee against members with whom they may just have political disagreements.

Rep. Dave Joyce, R-Ohio, a member of the House Ethics Committee who led the investigation into Santos, declined to comment about the investigation into Gaetz but told USA TODAY that “every case is independent of one another” and cautioned against linking the inquiries into the two lawmakers.

Rep. Mike Lawler, R-N.Y., who has openly criticized Gaetz over his politics, also warned against using the committee as a “political weapon or a bludgeon against somebody just because you don’t like them.”

Other GOP members are trying to strike a middle ground between immediately pushing for Gaetz’s ouster to avoid predetermining judgment and leaving the door open to expelling Gaetz if the ethics committee comes out with damning findings. 

Two other House Republicans said lawmakers would take a serious and thorough look at the committee’s report on Gaetz when it is released and make their determination of what they consider a proper punishment then. 

When asked by USA TODAY about his thoughts on members’ call to expel him over his ousting of McCarthy, Gaetz, who has taken the vitriol his colleagues have thrown at him in stride, smiled: “Which members?”

 

[Chad Fuck 17307]

This thread has fallen WAY too far off the front page. Seems the House 'Pubs had so much fun expelling Santos, they might be ready to do it again depending on how bad the ethics report is on Gaetz.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2023/12/07/matt-gaetz-house-republicans-whisper-expelling-george-santos/71840867007/

WASHINGTON −Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla., continues to draw the ire of his Republican colleagues in the House weeks after he led the ouster of Rep. Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., from the speakership, and some of his detractors have privately floating expelling him from Congress. 
Several Republican House members, many of whom are still angry at Gaetz for his antics that impeded McCarthy and the majority of the conference from passing legislation, have begun to discuss Gaetz’s ongoing investigation by the House Ethics Committee in the wake of the expulsion of embattled former Rep. George Santos, R-N.Y.
Leading up to Santos’ expulsion, multiple opponents of his removal publicly voiced their concerns about expelling a member who had not been convicted of a crime, which would overturn the precedent set by Congress in modern times.
One of those members was Gaetz himself, who openly defended Santos on the House floor.
“I rise not to defend George Santos whoever he is, but to defend the very precedent that my colleagues are willing to shatter,” Gaetz said last week.
One House Republican, who spoke to USA TODAY on the condition of anonymity to speak candidly about conversations between their colleagues, said GOP members were well aware of the future consequences of expelling Santos.
“There were a number of people who voted to expel Santos with the express intent of thinking through the precedent there on what happens next,” the member said. “There was a lot of forethought about the precedent and what would happen when a report on Gaetz comes out.”
Gaetz led the handful of Republicans who voted to remove McCarthy from the top job in the House earlier this year. After the lawmakers voted with Democrats to boot McCarthy, it led to weeks of infighting in the fractured Republican conference to select another leader. Though lawmakers eventually rallied around now-Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., it used up weeks of time as lawmakers tried to reach a temporary agreement to avoid a government shutdown.
GOP lawmakers, the Republican said, are much more “excited” to expel Gaetz than Santos if the House Ethics Committee releases a report that is just as damning for Gaetz as it was for the Long Island Republican.
The House Ethics Committee is investigating various allegations against Gaetz, including accusations of sexual misconduct, illicit drug use and misuse of campaign funds. The committee has reached out to at least one witness in its investigation in a sign the panel is turning to Gaetz after concluding its investigation into Santos, CNN reported. The Justice Department investigated Gaetz over sex trafficking allegations but decided not to pursue charges against him in February
The House Ethics Committee, a bipartisan panel evenly divided between Republicans and Democrats, has been criticized for being slow-moving and having limited options for punishment if it finds wrongdoing. 
However, after Santos' expulsion following the committee's scathing report showing substantial evidence he broke federal law members had renewed hopes it could act swiftly and promptly to address congressional wrongdoing.
“One of the complaints that you often hear is that things often go to the ethics committee and it takes an extended period of time,” Rep. Michael Guest, R-Miss., chair of the committee, said last week. “I think that’s unfair for members of Congress and for members of this body.”
“It’s important that the ethics committee do their work, that they return their reports in a timely fashion,” so members could face the proper repercussions, Guest said. 
Another House Republican who spoke to USA TODAY on the condition of anonymity to speak about the conference’s attitude towards Gaetz, said members are waiting for any ethics report on Gaetz to be released before publicly calling for his ouster. 
“If there’s anything in there that’s bad, I can guarantee people will have their fangs out. He is hated in our conference,” the House Republican said. “If he comes back as guilty in this ethics thing, I think he’s in trouble.”
In a recent closed-door conference meeting, the Republican recalled, Gaetz stood up to speak but was yelled at by members “to sit down and shut up,” reflecting the animosity GOP lawmakers still harbor for Gaetz.
But other Republicans are raising concerns their peers may be weaponizing the ethics committee against members with whom they may just have political disagreements.
Rep. Dave Joyce, R-Ohio, a member of the House Ethics Committee who led the investigation into Santos, declined to comment about the investigation into Gaetz but told USA TODAY that “every case is independent of one another” and cautioned against linking the inquiries into the two lawmakers.
Rep. Mike Lawler, R-N.Y., who has openly criticized Gaetz over his politics, also warned against using the committee as a “political weapon or a bludgeon against somebody just because you don’t like them.”
Other GOP members are trying to strike a middle ground between immediately pushing for Gaetz’s ouster to avoid predetermining judgment and leaving the door open to expelling Gaetz if the ethics committee comes out with damning findings. 
Two other House Republicans said lawmakers would take a serious and thorough look at the committee’s report on Gaetz when it is released and make their determination of what they consider a proper punishment then. 
When asked by USA TODAY about his thoughts on members’ call to expel him over his ousting of McCarthy, Gaetz, who has taken the vitriol his colleagues have thrown at him in stride, smiled: “Which members?”

 

Man I love it when revolutions eat their own.

Maybe the finding out will happen here.

[NWBuck 8533]

 

[royiv 9044]

I love how all it takes to infiltrate one of these events is a t-shirt or hoody with some variation of faith, family, guns, freedom, blue lives, etc on it.

[Gatorubet 29664]

On 10/5/2023 at 10:28 AM, Pato del Muerto said:

Parasitic forehead syndrome. His shoulders were underdeveloped because his forehead was taking more than its share of resources. 

Some people ask me why I hang out on a Longhorn site because I’m a Gator.  This is why. 

[Gatorubet 29664]

On 10/5/2023 at 10:28 AM, Pato del Muerto said:

Parasitic forehead syndrome. His shoulders were underdeveloped because his forehead was taking more than its share of resources. 

Oh great. Now Texas taxpayers will be paying for Fitlumps next set of bolt-on implants - because covered due to PFS syndrome

[atomheartbevo 89015]

40 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Some people ask me why I hang out on a Longhorn site because I’m a Gator.  This is why. 

34 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Fitlump

Also, she's done an amazing job of being low-key in terms of batshit stuff, and acting/looking competent (paging Bozo Casanova).

Still shaking my head that she went from posting nudes on Shaggy to Austin City Council member.  All it got me was a bunch of negs.

[Gatorubet 29664]

[mantis toboggan 847]

20 hours ago, NWBuck said:

 

Michael Picard in a disguise. big fan  

 

 

 

[Viking 295]

3 hours ago, mantis toboggan said:

Michael Picard in a disguise. big fan  

 

 

 

Yup. A weird dude that expertly trolls right wingers. He has a YouTube channel called Professional Douche.

[YGIFS 19445]

the change on his expression between 0:18 to 0:22 is amazing to watch.

Also, if anybody ever accuses you of statutory rape in public...your first sentence should never be (whether you did it or not) verbatim, "Aw man...you're so full of it."  That was the first thing his brain thought of.  Think about how fucking strange that is.

[Blotto 23286]

I love how he still ends the ceremony with "thank you all so much"

[Covri 6150]

And somebody had to take the award away from him cuz he was just holding onto it.

[YGIFS 19445]

37 minutes ago, Covri said:

And somebody had to take the award away from him cuz he was just holding onto it.

And in a master stroke of simulation irony, it was the one woman on his staff older than him grabbing the "underage sex" award.  She's got great comedic timing, I'll give her that.

[TheStoicPaisano 9837]

 

[YGIFS 19445]

uh Matt, if you all get incarcerated...you won't be in Cell Block A with those other fellas.  they put child molesters in a different wing, for your own protection.  

[TeeDubya 3328]

Worth noting: not a drag queen.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/gaetz-house-ethics-probe-picks-steam-new-witnesses/story?id=106600322

[ChuckNorrisActionJeans 2648]

let me know when Nestor testifies 

[tx 3 putt 75474]

[TeeDubya 3328]

Quote

and to a woman with whom the congressman allegedly had sexual relations when she was 17 years old.

[atomheartbevo 89015]

9 hours ago, TeeDubya said:

Worth noting: not a drag queen.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/gaetz-house-ethics-probe-picks-steam-new-witnesses/story?id=106600322

Sounds like some Republicans have decided that Matt has to go before the election.

[tx 3 putt 75474]

He should have paid for that pardon

[Chad Fuck 17307]

Sounds like some Republicans have decided that Matt has to go before the election.

We will all better off for it.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13310]

9 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Sounds like some Republicans have decided that Matt has to go before the election.

McCarthy had hatred for Gaetz so he may have called in some favors on the way out.

[Js1 83351]

59 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

McCarthy had hatred for Gaetz so he may have called in some favors on the way out.

Kevin Mac is a putz but he’s 100% doing some heavy lifting to tank the House GOP majority. Go off, sir 

[HenryJames 65525]

https://www.thedailybeast.com/matt-gaetz-privately-told-colleagues-his-real-motivation-for-mccarthy-ouster-was-ethics-probe?ref=wrap

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13483]

1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/matt-gaetz-privately-told-colleagues-his-real-motivation-for-mccarthy-ouster-was-ethics-probe?ref=wrap

When your party's North Star is short-sighted, extreme self-interest eventually everyone including your allies become your enemies.

[TexasEd 8017]

1 hour ago, Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand said:

When your party's North Star is short-sighted, extreme self-interest eventually everyone including your allies become your enemies.

It's like watching one of those survivor shows where there can only be one winner, you know Highlander, Survivor, Hell's Kitchen, The Apprentice.  You may be teamed up at some point but you're going to be working to cut each other out eventually.  Do you sabotage them when they are leader so they take all the blame and you can say how you would have done it better?  It's everyone for themselves in that group.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13310]

Does Mike Johnson have to sign off, at some level, on any new or continued ethics probe? I have to guess that there was something about his confirmation that he had to stand out of the way when they came for Gaetz. Besides no one likes a barn burner anyway when you become the owner of the barn.

[Underdog 28219]

Matt Gaetz had sex with and trafficked an underaged girl! 
 

Meh, she was probably asking for it. - MAGA

[Gatorubet 29664]

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Matt Gaetz had sex with and trafficked an underaged girl! 
 

MAGA- Meh, he was probably just checking them out first before sex with Trump….he is King David you know…

fi