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Songs With The Shittiest Lyrics


CHIEF

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Maybe it's the shitty lyrics. Maybe it's the fact that this song is overplayed. Maybe it's the fact that it's one of my favorite bands but this sucks:

Darlin' you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

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19 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Maybe it's the shitty lyrics. Maybe it's the fact that this song is overplayed. Maybe it's the fact that it's one of my favorite bands but this sucks:

Darlin' you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

I’d say “meh” but not shitty.

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On 6/25/2020 at 8:27 PM, Lobo said:

It helps that such a shitty song came out during college when you pretended to like whatever music she liked to have a chance at hooking up.  But if you actually listen to the lyrics, it's a guy saying he loves a shitty movie in order to watch it with the girl he likes so he can hook up.  It's a horrible song with childish lyrics but it makes a decent point.  He's lying about liking a movie to get in with a girl, and we all lie about liking this song to get in with a girl.  It's kinda meta.  It's a stupid song, but it had an interesting commentary.  It would be like if the Dave Matthews Band wrote a song about hanging out in a dorm room all night pretending to like candles and "Crash" so you could finally make a move on a girl.  Oh wait, I think he did.  Damn this simulation.  It's a typical situation.  

Program note:  a band member's brother is a surly and was quite active on shaggy.

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Well, if we're gonna criticize Thin Lizzy for a lyrical misstep, then I'll up the ante to this Jimmy Buffett + Alan Jackson gem:

 

Quote

Pour me somethin' tall and strong
Make it a Hurricane before I go insane
It's only half past twelve, but I don't care
It's five o'clock somewhere

 

I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to deduce that if it's 12:30 where you are, it's not 5:00 anywhere, at least in the United States.  (Yes, I understand that there are half- and quarter-hour time zones in the world.  These two doofuses don't know that.  What a lazy lyric.  Just say "it's barely high noon" or something similar.)

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This took 7 songwriters...


Work, work, work, work, work, work
He said me haffi
Work, work, work, work, work, work
He see me do mi
Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt
So me put in
Work, work, work, work, work, work
When you ah gon'
Learn, learn, learn, learn, learn?
Me nuh care if him
Hurt, hurt, hurt, hurt, hurting...

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It's all the same, only the names will change
Everyday, it seems we're wastin' away
Another place where the faces are so cold
I drive all night just to get back home
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive
Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days
The people I meet always go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By the bottle that you drink
And times when you're all alone all you do is think
I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive
Wanted (wanted) dead or alive
Oh, and I ride
Oh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive
I walk these streets
A loaded six-string on my back
I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back
I been everywhere, still, I'm
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Do I stress you out?
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say, how appropriate
I don't like to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
 
And there I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
 
And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance, ah
 
Do I wear you out?
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
 
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature, yeah
 
And what I wouldn't give to find a soul mate?
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred? Ah
 
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses is falling
All around, all around
 
Why are you so petrified of silence?
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, you ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're going to die?
Or did you long for the next distraction?
 
And all I need now is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
 
And all I really want is some peace man
A place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength, ah
And all I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice, ah
 
It's all I really want, some patience
A way to calm me down
And all I really want is deliverance
A place to find a common ground
 
 
 
giphy.gif
Edited by smuggs
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Well the money's pouring down
And the people all look down
And it's floating out of town

I hit the second deck
And I spent my paycheck
And my wife that I just met
She's looking like a wreck

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

I always bet on black
Blackjack
I'll pay you back

The room fills with smoke
And I'm already broke
And the dealer keeps on joking
As he takes my last token

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

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On 6/28/2020 at 9:58 PM, LABEVO said:

 

 

That song is exploding on TikTok right now. The female part really does suck though.

 I actually met Beatking at a Pappadeux in Houston 6 or 7 years ago. Super, super nice dude. You can tell from his social media that he’s super goofy in general and wants his lyrics to be comedic. He just wants to make club music people can dance to. 

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Luke Bryan

I got that real good feel good stuff
Up under the seat of my big black jacked up truck
Rollin' on 35s
Pretty girl by my side

You got that sun tan skirt and boots
Waiting on you to look my way and scoot
Your little hot self over here
Girl hand me another beer, yeah!

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin' down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that's my kind of night!

Might sit down on my diamond plate tailgate
Put in my country rock hip-hop mixtape
Little Conway, a little T-Pain, might just make it rain

You can hang your t-shirt on a limb
Hit that bank and we can ease on in
Soak us up a little moonlight
You know I know what you like, yeah!

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin' down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that's my kind of night!
Yeah, that's my kind of night!

My kind of your kind of its this kind of night
We dance in the dark and your lips land on mine
Gonna get our love on
Time to get our buzz on

All them other boys wanna wind you up and take you downtown
But you look like the kind that likes to take it way out
Out where the corn rows grow, row, row my boat
Floatin' down the Flint River, catch us up a little catfish dinner
Gonna sound like a winner, when I lay you down and love you right
Yeah, that's my kind of night!
Yeah, that's my kind of night!
Yeah, that's my kind of night!
Yeah, that's my kind of night!
Come on.



Sent from my SM-G973U using Tapatalk

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I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times
(Oh Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy)
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times
(Don't cry for me, next door neighbour)
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (ooh)
I get knocked down, (we'll be singing)
But I get up again (pissing the night away)
You are never gonna keep me down (when we're winning)

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[Intro]
I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me

[Verse 1]
I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt

So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan
Too sexy for Milan

New York, and Japan
And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing

[Chorus 1]
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

[Verse 2]
I'm too sexy for my car
Too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat
What ya think about that?

[Chorus 2]
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

[Bridge]
Too sexy for my
Too sexy for my
Too sexy for my
Cut!

[Chorus 2]
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little tush on the catwalk

[Verse 3]
I'm too sexy for my cat
Too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy, poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love
Too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me
And I'm too sexy for this song

 

 

 

 

 
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On 6/29/2020 at 8:55 PM, strangulation! said:

Well the money's pouring down
And the people all look down
And it's floating out of town

I hit the second deck
And I spent my paycheck
And my wife that I just met
She's looking like a wreck

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

I always bet on black
Blackjack
I'll pay you back

The room fills with smoke
And I'm already broke
And the dealer keeps on joking
As he takes my last token

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

Casino Queen
My lord you're mean
I've been gambling like a fiend
On your tables so green

Why.  Why would you do this?

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Why.  Why would you do this?

because, even though the song is catchy as hell, the lyrics suck? it's like tweedy started with ~15 casino-related terms that rhyme, then backed into the rest of the lyrics.

I always bet on black
Blackjack
I'll pay you back

that's just non-sensical.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Shitty rip off sampling, shitty lyrics, shitty rhymes...what's to hate about this?

 

It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh Ahh
Ahh Ahh Ahh

Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
It's the simple things in life, like when and where
We didn't have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
She'll forever hold a spot inside my soul
We'd blister in the sun
We couldn't wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll

While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I'll hear that song and I'll start to sing along
And think man I'd love to see that girl again

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long

Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long

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You dare mock the man who penned the greatest redneck haiku of all time? 

Eating Shrooms

Drinking Boones

Writing Tunes

I'll give Kid Rock a pass, his lyrics are so shitty, they're good.  And he never professed to be an erudite bard.  It's when somebody who wants to be the ocean life-enlightened singer-songwriter, like Jimmy Buffet pens that fucking "Cheeseburger in Paradise" abortion that the whole fucking system falls apart.  I'm not gonna let it go!!!!!!

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Fuck these longcat posts of entire shitty songs. We know they're shitty after half a verse ir the chorus.

Wrapped Around My Finger by The Police introduced me to shitty, lazy lyrics when I was 11 years old. How one throwaway line can make an otherwise fine tune cringe worthy.

I have only come here seeking knowledge/Things they would not teach me of in college


Sting must've decided "fuck it, this album's gonna be a hit & I'm outta here so let's finish this track before lunch. "

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On 6/27/2020 at 6:58 PM, jimmyjazz said:

. . . and there is no way I'm doxxing he/she, so don't ask.  I do think they revealed it at one point, but that's not my business.

Ran into those guys in an airport lounge once.  The had a touring drummer who is a local music scenster and all around good dude who I know casually and we literally bumped into one another trying to get to the free food.  Met the whole crew.  Very nice gents.  Smart too.  The music thing is like their side hustle now.  They all have normal day jobs they can do while on th road, and have still managed to maintain a music career touring in Europe every summer (until know I suppose).  Honestly, I'd read their "how-to" book if they wrote one.  

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“New Kids On The Block had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick
And I think it's fly when girls stop by
For the summer, for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch
I'd take her if I had one wish
But she's been gone since that summer, since that summer“

 

I actually bet a friend I’d sing this shit to a random girl that night i was going to try and hook up with. I did and things worked out lol. The summer of 99 after I graduated HS was a wild time in Austin for me. /csb

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On 6/26/2020 at 2:34 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Maybe it's the shitty lyrics. Maybe it's the fact that this song is overplayed. Maybe it's the fact that it's one of my favorite bands but this sucks:

Darlin' you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Joe Ely singing backup atones for it.

https://www.latinorebels.com/2012/12/06/the-story-of-the-clashs-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-spanish-lyrics/

Edited by Deej
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Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me
And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch,
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered,
Like my Waffle House hash browns
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola
Stock you are inclined to make me rise
An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Gettin' horny now)

There's a second verse, but I don't think I need to go on.

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I personally think these lyrics are so bad that they are actually genius and I should add that this is one of my favorite songs ever.  

 

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
Aaoooooo
Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
Aaoooooo
You hear him howling around your kitchen door
You better not let him in
Little old lady got mutilated late last night
Werewolves of London again
Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
Aaoooooo
Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
Aaoooooo
He's the hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent
Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair
You better stay away from him
He'll rip your lungs out, Jim
I'd like to meet his tailor
Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
Aaoooooo
Aaoooooo
Werewolves of London
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On 7/16/2020 at 11:58 PM, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

I personally think these lyrics are so bad that they are actually genius and I should add that this is one of my favorite songs ever.  

 

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of SoHo in the rain
He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's
Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein

Shittiest!?  You know you actually love those lyrics.  I revere Zevon and his lyrics.  My favorite version was a live version with a variation:

"I saw a werewolf trying to buy a used car at Del Mar,

It was a blood-red Coupe deVille."

That's even better than seeing a werewolf at Trader Vic's, even if his hair was . . . Perfect.

Edited by Bama Llama
Fingers stoned
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On 6/26/2020 at 2:34 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Maybe it's the shitty lyrics. Maybe it's the fact that this song is overplayed. Maybe it's the fact that it's one of my favorite bands but this sucks:

Darlin' you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?

Dude.

Combat Rock wasn't a lyrical tour de force, but to use the modern patois, it still slaps.  And produced a couple of the better videos of the MTV era.

Plus, the Spanish.

I have used the screams as ringtones from time to time.

Edited by TwiceHorn
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On 7/13/2020 at 12:35 PM, Chad Fuck said:

Ran into those guys in an airport lounge once.  The had a touring drummer who is a local music scenster and all around good dude who I know casually and we literally bumped into one another trying to get to the free food.  Met the whole crew.  Very nice gents.  Smart too.  The music thing is like their side hustle now.  They all have normal day jobs they can do while on th road, and have still managed to maintain a music career touring in Europe every summer (until know I suppose).  Honestly, I'd read their "how-to" book if they wrote one.  

Agony Column?

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On 7/18/2020 at 9:25 AM, TwiceHorn said:

Dude.

Combat Rock wasn't a lyrical tour de force, but to use the modern patois, it still slaps.  And produced a couple of the better videos of the MTV era.

Plus, the Spanish.

I have used the screams as ringtones from time to time.

An account of how Joe Ely and the Clash came to hang out together during the recording of Combat Rock, and the story behind why Joe Strummer yelled "Split!" during the break of this song.   https://www.austinchronicle.com/music/2000-05-19/77249/

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I'm upper, upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure,
They're the balls that I like best.
And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh, we have such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail
Crabs
Crayfish

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On 7/16/2020 at 3:48 PM, Jack Straw said:

Maneater, Hall & Oates

how is that not only a song that exists, but one that was very popular for a long time?

I love the verse lyrics of this song. 
 

I wouldn’t if I were you

i know what she can do

shes deadly man she can really rip your world apart

mind over matter

the beauty’s there but the beast is in her heart

 

but I understand that the chorus is so cheesy it turns people off. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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