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Pretzel Ghost in My House

Ghost of LL

By Ghost of LL
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Ghost of LL

Ghost of LL 15539

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This is so mind-numbingly stupid I don't even know where to start.  And the stupidest thing of all is that I don't have a good explanation.

We've lived in this house for about five years now.  It's a good house.  No problems with it.  Except for one thing.  Pretzels show up in weird places.

It started after we'd been in the house for a year or so, and I opened a drawer to get a kitchen towel.  Beneath the first kitchen towel were a half-dozen pretzels.  So I did what any reasonable father would do--I chewed out the kids.  They professed ignorance.  Liars.

A few months later, my wife found pretzels in with the flatware.  Then a few months later, they were in with the pots.  All the places stayed close to the kitchen, but still-there were some weird and out-of-the-way places (like behind the blender and breadmaker, which almost never gets used).

So then before last Christmas, my wife goes back into the closet (waay into the back) under the stairs to get some wrapping paper or other shit.  And at the bottom of a bucket full of Christmas shit--pretzels.  Ok, now that's fucking weird.

Three months ago, there were pretzels under the sink in the very back with the cleaning shit (the plumber actually found them when he had to replace the disposal).  And then this afternoon, my wife found them in the built-in in the living room that she was pulling DVDs out of to go on a road-trip.

So, this is obviously weird.  I've come to conclude that it's not the kids, because frankly they're not that innovative.  Nor are they so industrious as to be hiding them in the back of the damned closet under the stairs or under the sink.  So it's something else.  And I really don't have an answer.

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Ghost of LL

Ghost of LL 15539

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4 minutes ago, Covri said:

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A fucking mouse would've eaten the pretzels.  It wouldn't be leaving them in drawers.

I don't think a mouse could even get in a goddamned drawer (or would want to).

And anyway, if it were a mouse, we'd see a bit of variety.  Perhaps a cracker here or there.  But it's only ever pretzels.

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31528

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They (the mice) may be hoarding/storing them.  And yeah, a mouse could get in and out of a drawer.  The gaps on the sides and in the back when closed are larger than you think and mice are excellent at squeezing through gaps.

Hell, our cats will climb in an open drawer and come out a closed one above it from time to time.  Bigger drawers, but same general principle.

https://www.familyhandyman.com/list/crazy-things-mice-have-done-in-homes/

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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You have someone in your house.  Happened while in HS to some guys I know in Austin.  
 

The weirdo down the street would sneak into their house at night and ease around the joint all creepy like.  Eat, drink, go through things, ghost around and what not. The two guys and their mom always thought there was a presence in the house but could never figure it out.  
 

Weirdo finally got busted one night up in the attic (iircc).   It twigged out the brothers and mom with the kook from down the street all holed up in the attic.  
 

Off to the loony bin he went. 

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Ghost of LL

Ghost of LL 15539

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10 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

They (the mice) may be hoarding/storing them.  And yeah, a mouse could get in and out of a drawer.  The gaps on the sides and in the back when closed are larger than you think and mice are excellent at squeezing through gaps.

Hell, our cats will climb in an open drawer and come out a closed one above it from time to time.  Bigger drawers, but same general principle.

https://www.familyhandyman.com/list/crazy-things-mice-have-done-in-homes/

So the mouse has been my preferred theory.  There are a few problems with that, however.  I find it really odd that we would never see any crumbs.  No half-eaten pretzels.  Just whole pretzels stashed away.

The other thing is that we have a cat and a dog.  And a cat and a dog who have food out.  I would think that a mouse would prefer to get into those.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40872

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46 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

A fucking mouse would've eaten the pretzels.  It wouldn't be leaving them in drawers.

I don't think a mouse could even get in a goddamned drawer (or would want to).

 

About 40 years ago Mrs. Brat let out a loud scream from the kitchen, and when I got in there she was actually standing on the countertop... just like a corny old comedy skit. She said when she opened the cutlery drawer, a mouse jumped out at her.

Caught the little sumbitch that night after setting a trap in the trash can under the sink.

Never discovered how it got in the house and never found any droppings anywhere in the kitchen.

 

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futureman

futureman 22523

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1 hour ago, deadshank said:

You have someone in your house.  Happened while in HS to some guys I know in Austin.  
 

The weirdo down the street would sneak into their house at night and ease around the joint all creepy like.  Eat, drink, go through things, ghost around and what not. The two guys and their mom always thought there was a presence in the house but could never figure it out.  
 

Weirdo finally got busted one night up in the attic (iircc).   It twigged out the brothers and mom with the kook from down the street all holed up in the attic.  
 

Off to the loony bin he went. 

 

0AEACB20-9F16-4102-96AC-BB77F4DB39EC.jpeg

Edited by futureman
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Ghost of LL

Ghost of LL 15539

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So I'm leaning toward the mouse theory.  And I told this to Mrs.LL, who rejects it citing an important piece of evidence that I previously left out.

The Christmas shit in the closet wasn't in a bucket.  It was in a sealed container (i.e, one of those plastic bins that you buy at the Container Store for like $30 when you could just as easily use a cardboard box).  She says that every Christmas, she takes those containers out, uses the Christmas shit, and then vacuums them out before putting the Christmas shit back in after Epiphany.  So when it went in and was sealed in January 2019, no pretzels.  When it was unsealed in December, pretzels.

So that would seem to argue against the mouse theory.

3 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

I’m going with mouse. Second guess is that your wife is hilarious

It might, however, argue in favor of this theory.

1 hour ago, BayouBill said:

You needed a plumber to come and replace your garbage dispossal? Should've just had your wife do it.

Well, long story short, the plumber broke the disposal and he was repairing his fuck-up.

1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

Are pretzels a common snack you have around?

If not, then home invasion.

If so, then mice.

Kind of.

The weird thing is that the pretzels we usually have around the house are the waffle shape: i.e., 

Amazon.com: Snacks (Fat Free Waffle Pretzels, 1 LB)

But the pretzels we typically (though not always) find are traditional curly shape.  So yeah--weird.

 

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Red Five

Red Five 40881

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Back in a former life, the now ex-wife and I would find the bottom floor of our house covered in salt. I think this happened twice. It was a mystery for a long time, until her sister finally confessed to getting in pouring salt all over our floors. She thought it was funny. She's weird. 

Wonder if you've got a similar deal. The mouse explanation doesn't work, imo. 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26462

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Why is OP starving his kids to the point where they have to stash pretzels all over the house?

I go with kids. Sometimes one will get on a hiding jag, and you'll never get a confession. Kids tend to be weird as shit, and sticky.

Then again, it's probably some big enormous crazy person with your house keys who gets in and wanders around, every night, while you sleep.

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Covri

Covri 6252

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Have we established what brand/type of pretzels these are? Where do you keep them? Are you even buying pretzels?!? So many questions. But my money is still on a cheeky mouse just waiting for you to leave a half drunk beer out.

Edit: I see this was answered and only making it more of a mystery.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

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On 7/6/2020 at 5:57 PM, Ghost of LL said:

A fucking mouse would've eaten the pretzels.  It wouldn't be leaving them in drawers.

I don't think a mouse could even get in a goddamned drawer (or would want to).

And anyway, if it were a mouse, we'd see a bit of variety.  Perhaps a cracker here or there.  But it's only ever pretzels.

A dogmouse would, they always bury and hide stuff.

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bmbmd

bmbmd 1027

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Apropos of nothing, years ago some sixty something siblings brought their eighty-something mom in for dementia.  The old girl was perfectly lucid, but was convinced that two young men were living in her attic.  It was a few weeks before someone finally went up in to the attic to placate Mom.  You guessed it-two high school kids had built a little hideout/pot smoking chamber in the attic by climbing the elm tree next to her house.  Ropesville, Texas, to be exact. 

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25168

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25 minutes ago, bmbmd said:

Apropos of nothing, years ago some sixty something siblings brought their eighty-something mom in for dementia.  The old girl was perfectly lucid, but was convinced that two young men were living in her attic.  It was a few weeks before someone finally went up in to the attic to placate Mom.  You guessed it-two high school kids had built a little hideout/pot smoking chamber in the attic by climbing the elm tree next to her house.  Ropesville, Texas, to be exact. 

Dont encourage him.

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tfoolry

tfoolry 8227

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Seen as a symbol of good luck, prosperity and spiritual fulfillment, pretzels were also commonly distributed to the poor, as a way of providing them with both spiritual and literal sustenance.
By the 17th century, the interlocking loops of the pretzel had come to symbolize undying love as well.

 

https://www.history.com/news/the-pretzel-a-twisted-history


 

 

 

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