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Posted
3 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Why is OP starving his kids to the point where they have to stash pretzels all over the house?

I go with kids. Sometimes one will get on a hiding jag, and you'll never get a confession. Kids tend to be weird as shit, and sticky.

Then again, it's probably some big enormous crazy person with your house keys who gets in and wanders around, every night, while you sleep.

My money is on Briskettexan. 

  • Like 2
Posted
10 hours ago, tfoolry said:

Seen as a symbol of good luck, prosperity and spiritual fulfillment, pretzels were also commonly distributed to the poor, as a way of providing them with both spiritual and literal sustenance.
By the 17th century, the interlocking loops of the pretzel had come to symbolize undying love as well.

 

https://www.history.com/news/the-pretzel-a-twisted-history


 

 

 

anyone else read this in Alice Cooper's voice?

  • Haha 1
Posted
14 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

Why is OP starving his kids to the point where they have to stash pretzels all over the house?

I go with kids. Sometimes one will get on a hiding jag, and you'll never get a confession. Kids tend to be weird as shit, and sticky.

Then again, it's probably some big enormous crazy person with your house keys who gets in and wanders around, every night, while you sleep.

Maybe OP is a crazy person and we are all just part of his elaborate self delusions he creates for himself at the insane asylum.

  • Like 1
Posted
12 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

My money is on Briskettexan. 

He didn't say that the pretzels were dipped in 7-Eleven nacho cheese and Big Bite chili.

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 3
Posted

The same sort of thing happens at my parents house!  Except not pretzels, they find almonds in random spots in their basement.  My SiL is convinced the basement is haunted and will not set foot down there.  Works out fine for me, my pops and bro.  We have a pretty sweet man cave set up down there, that any inhabiting ghost is welcome to hang out in when it’s not in use

Posted
On 7/7/2020 at 8:31 PM, CooterBrown said:

That’s a picky fucking mouse that only eats pretzels. At least he’s thoughtful enough to put the clip back on the bag after he’s served himself.

the mouse is clearly running off with small quantities of chex mix and is picking out the pretzels, which are the worst part of chex mix. 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
Posted
3 hours ago, Greg Davis Apologist said:

I think Dots makes the best pretzel

Tried this crack the other day and I'd agree. Told my wife not to buy them again, because I can't fucking stop eating them once the bag is open...and I hate regular pretzels. 

  • Like 1
Posted
48 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

Nobody touches that Christmas shit in the back.  Nobody vacuums out their box.  Nobody seals it.  Dude, it's your wife fucking with you.  Just not the way you want.

I think I'm beginning to lean this way.  She's playing the long game toward getting you locked away in a padded room

Posted
On 7/8/2020 at 9:55 AM, smuggs said:

He didn't say that the pretzels were dipped in 7-Eleven nacho cheese and Big Bite chili.

You've gotBT confused with Steelshank.

Posted
21 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

so the pretzels caused OP to snap and want to leave the country????

 

21 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Well they are making him thirsty

Damn, I knew it.

Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

I can't be the only contemplating what random food item to hide all over the house. 

When I was a kid, my parents made me eat a bunch vitamins every day. I had a dairy allergy so I didn't drink milk, so I was supposed to eat these chewable calcium pills that tasted like dust and dirt, along with some off-brand kids multivitamins and some assorted other crap. 

They were all varying degrees of terrible, except for some papaya flavored one, which I liked. 

Feeding them to the dog didn't work, so I began just putting them all in my mouth at once hamster-style at the end of breakfast, and then excusing myself from the table to go spit them out in the living room, where I would hide them behind the piano and under two couches. I did this every day for a couple of months. 

It was all a smooth operation until the day my parents decided to rearrange the furniture, when my piles of partially eaten vitamins were discovered, much to my father's fury and my mother's disgust and disappointment. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
  • Like 1
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Posted
9 hours ago, Billy Pilgrim said:

It’s called gaslighting 

Very few people know that in the movie "Gaslight," nobody actually did what we call "gaslighting."

Nope. Simply did not happen.

Posted
On 7/7/2020 at 8:45 PM, tfoolry said:

Seen as a symbol of good luck, prosperity and spiritual fulfillment, pretzels were also commonly distributed to the poor, as a way of providing them with both spiritual and literal sustenance.
By the 17th century, the interlocking loops of the pretzel had come to symbolize undying love as well.

 

https://www.history.com/news/the-pretzel-a-twisted-history


 

 

 

That's got me in the mood to to share my love via laying pipe.

Posted
When I was a kid, my parents made me eat a bunch vitamins every day. I had a dairy allergy so I didn't drink milk, so I was supposed to eat these chewable calcium pills that tasted like dust and dirt, along with some off-brand kids multivitamins and some assorted other crap. 
They were all varying degrees of terrible, except for some papaya flavored one, which I liked. 
Feeding them to the dog didn't work, so I began just putting them all in my mouth at once hamster-style at the end of breakfast, and then excusing myself from the table to go spit them out in the living room, where I would hide them behind the piano and under two couches. I did this every day for a couple of months. 
It was all a smooth operation until the day my parents decided to rearrange the furniture, when my piles of partially eaten vitamins were discovered, much to my father's fury and my mother's disgust and disappointment. 
I did the same thing with penicillin. We had pink pills showing up for a year. Not sure how I lived through whatever i was taking antibiotics for.
  • Haha 1
Posted
28 minutes ago, tfoolry said:

I’m heading to bed & noticed this on nightstand.  No idea where it came from.  Guess I’ll be sleeping on my back tonight. 
 

image.jpeg.62635fc6229956e14746eec6f2cc0e60.jpeg

nice try, NowThis

  • Haha 1
Posted
14 hours ago, tfoolry said:

I’m heading to bed & noticed this on nightstand.  No idea where it came from.  Guess I’ll be sleeping on my back tonight. 
 

 

Now we've graduated from "Muledick" to "Pretzeldick".

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

I'm now 100% convince that @Ghost of LL is dealing with a mouse.

We've been working a skeleton crew at our office since March due to COVID.  Pretty much everyone is working from home.  I have to come in to the office a few times a week for misc stuff like checking the mail, signing checks, etc.  

One of my project managers has a ton of kids and nowhere to work from home, so he gets his admin stuff done at the office.   He called me last week and asked if I was playing a prank on him because he's found dog food in his printer paper tray twice in the last month.  I was baffled and said it wasn't me.  I usually take my dog with me to the office, and he has a sealed container of food that I keep in my office closet.  So, it was natural for him to suspect me.  But, it wasn't me.

Fast forward to this morning, and I went to our shop closet to grab some plastic for site protection.  I looked down and happened to notice about 30 pieces of dog food in a paint spray gun bag.  My dog doesn't always eat his food, and I never think to dump it back into the sealed container.  This HAS to be a mouse hoarding food.  Gotta be it.  

IMG-3815.jpg

Posted
On 7/7/2020 at 5:02 PM, RDCanecutter said:

it's probably some big enormous crazy person with your house keys who gets in and wanders around, every night, while you sleep.

 

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