Things you really just don't get...

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

11 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Please send me the three-prong lapel ribbon in the meantime

[Guest]

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

We should just have one word - eaffect.

Theire you go.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

3 minutes ago, slorch said:

Theire you go.

Whear?

[deadshank 24,653]

3 hours ago, Lobo said:

 It also went on to discuss how English  is obviously evolving faster   than ever before with more people speaking it (more cooks in kitchen, so to speak) and with more people learning it later in life, etc.  ."  

They’re not speaking English, bruh. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

8 hours ago, Lobo said:

We're discussing spelling/vocabulary and the German invasion of the Soviet Union.  

We have truly crossed over into Grammar Nazis.  

I have no idea where I read it because I was half drunk, but it was this interesting article a few days ago. They plucked tens of thousands of samples from everything from message boards, to comments sections, to social media, to e-newsletters, etc.  We've all obviously read and written more in the last 6 months than we have for probably the 2 entire years before the 2020 pandemic.  Just because there were so many conversations we couldn't have in person, we had more time to read books, etc.  You get the idea.  Anyway, you'd think that our writing would have improved because we had more time, we had more exposure to vocabulary, we needed to be more precise for work purposes, etc.  But nope, we actually somehow got worse.  It also went on to discuss how English  is obviously evolving faster   than ever before with more people speaking it (more cooks in the kitchen, so to speak) and with more people learning it later in life, etc.  And how all the verbal fillers being used "Like, So, Whatever, et. al." and conjugating verbs incorrectly and all the other shit that chaps our hides, it actually takes longer to speak idiotically than it does to speak correctly.  We know that languages change, but they typically become more efficient in the process.  Ours is becoming less efficient as we get dumber and dumber.  Old man yells at cloud, I know.  But seriously listening to most people under 30 nowadays makes my fucking teeth itch.  How can one person use the word "like" 4 times in one sentence and have none of those instances be to describe them having regard for something.  If you can't think of your next word, just don't talk for a moment.  

Alright.........back to things I just really don't get.  Homophobia.  How can a person in the 21st century still think people choose to be gay?  You have to really fucking try to be that ignorant and completely ignore about 70% of the bible.  You think Mayor Lightfoot in Chicago just woke up one day in her 20's and thought, "It is just so goddamn easy to be a black woman in Chicago these days...what can I do to challenge myself?  Oh yeah, I'll throw gay in the mix."  

If you happen to stumble over that article again, I'd be curious to read it.

[Guest Lobo]

After thinking about it today, I'm 80% sure it was one of my wife's Speech-Language Pathology magazines/journals.  I pretend I read the articles, but really I just steal them from her for the centerfolds.  But yeah, give me a day or two to retrace my steps and I'll find it.  There's lots of stuff out there about macro shifts to language, but this one was pointing out how English is shifting from pregnant pauses to just filler words simply to fill the void.  And it's carrying over into written/typed language and/or vice-versa.  I'm guessing it's not the first of its kind.  LIke "beerfest", maybe if I get drunk enough...I can retrace my steps and find it.  But yeah, you gotta check-out the bikini edition of speech therapists.  There's actually a lot of really attractive ones.  If I were a college-aged guy, I'd go into that degree program.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

50 minutes ago, Lobo said:

But yeah, you gotta check-out the bikini edition of speech therapists.  There's actually a lot of really attractive ones.  If I were a college-aged guy, I'd go into that degree program.  

My daughter hasn't had one yet that I wood

[52-80 19,158]

1. Why people aren't okay with Pepsi

2. How some people are so repulsed by Mayonnaise

 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

56 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

1. Why people aren't okay with Pepsi

2. How some people are so repulsed by Mayonnaise

 

1. I like Pepsi

2. I am generally repulsed by may-o-naiz

 

Go figure.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Why people aren't okay with Pepsi

It's not that people aren't okay with it, it's just that Coke is better.

I don't drink soda much, but Pepsi always tastes like sweet, flat Coke to me.

[markstanco 12,577]

"We broke up"

~Hank Hill

[52-80 19,158]

unsalted popcorn.  who eats that?  its like eating cotton

[Wally Pryor 5,261]

Any man over 30 that wears a football jersey. Charging for chips and salsa at a mexican food place.  People who could care less.  The fact that Polonsky is still employed.  Crawfish, all that god damned work for very little payoff.  Yard signs of any type.   People who don't understand what "Yield" means.   Jeff Ward's level of self-admiration.  Dog owners who don't pick up their dog's shit.   (Or dog owners who haven't taken the time to teach their dogs to pick up the shit.)   

I reserve the right to add to this list. 

[DigglerontheHoof 21,199]

On 8/6/2020 at 7:27 AM, Armybrat said:

I don’t think Mel Brooks comedies are very funny at all. The only exception being the campfire fart scene & Mongo knocking the horse out in Blazing Saddles. And those were only funny the first time. Otherwise, nada.

Animal House was, and is, funny.

Wow, just wow. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

2 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Or dog owners who haven't taken the time to teach their dogs to pick up the shit.

Does it count if they eat it?

[Kennythetiger 9,382]

The owners or the dogs?  Because it’s gross when the dogs do it. 

[Guest]

Why people in the right hand lane get over to the left to let someone (improperly) merge with traffic while impeding the travel/ speed of other vehicles already established in the left lane. If you're so fucking concerned with merging traffic, then simply lift and let them in but you should be maintaining your speed, right?  Then, get this, let the merging driver figure it the fuck out and yield to established  traffic as they are prescribed to do by driving etiquette and the law.

This situation is one of the biggest impediments to regular traffic flow.  I don't get that people don't get this.

Edited August 12, 2020 by slorch

[Armybrat 40,844]

Yeah, the timid fucks that crawl onto the expressway at 30mph before they start accelerating.

GTF up to speed by the time you merge!

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

51 minutes ago, slorch said:

Why people in the right hand lane get over to the left to let someone (improperly) merge with traffic while impeding the travel/ speed of other vehicles already established in the left lane. If you're so fucking concerned with merging traffic, then simply lift and let them in but you should be maintaining your speed, right?  Then, get this, let the merging driver figure it the fuck out and yield to established  traffic as they are prescribed to do by driving etiquette and the law.

This situation is one of the biggest impediments to regular traffic flow.  I don't get that people don't get this.

I always shift to the left lane to allow merging traffic a clean path. I kick my speed up a bit to not slow traffic behind me down, but I think it's a pretty courteous thing to do, and makes the merging process a bit safer.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Yeah, the timid fucks that crawl onto the expressway at 30mph before they start accelerating.

GTF up to speed by the time you merge!

That too.

[BonzoMontreaux 1,038]

14 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Yeah, the timid fucks that crawl onto the expressway at 30mph before they start accelerating.

GTF up to speed by the time you merge!

To go along with this... people that hit their brakes at the bottom of the entrance ramp.  

Also, on two lane, one way access roads... people that stay in left lane past an entrance ramp doing less than the speed limit.

[markstanco 12,577]

3 hours ago, Wally Pryor said:

Any man over 30 that wears a football jersey. Charging for chips and salsa at a mexican food place.  People who could care less.  The fact that Polonsky is still employed.  Crawfish, all that god damned work for very little payoff.  Yard signs of any type.   People who don't understand what "Yield" means.   Jeff Ward's level of self-admiration.  Dog owners who don't pick up their dog's shit.   (Or dog owners who haven't taken the time to teach their dogs to pick up the shit.)   

I reserve the right to add to this list. 

Take away that crawfish statement and we have a winner. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I always shift to the left lane to allow merging traffic a clean path. I kick my speed up a bit to not slow traffic behind me down, but I think it's a pretty courteous thing to do, and makes the merging process a bit safer.

Merging traffic doesn’t have the right of way.  Why would you change lanes for them?
You’re like one of 5 people who might accelerate and not fuck the people already established in the next lane over to the left.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, slorch said:

Merging traffic doesn’t have the right of way.  Why would you change lanes for them?
You’re like one of 5 people who might accelerate and not fuck the people already established in the next lane over to the left.

It's not just a question of right of way. I know they don't. I choose to make it easier, and generally safe for everyone around me. I've seen far too many close calls as a result of merging. It's easy to just slide over, and let them merge or slow down a couple MPH to allow them in. It's simply courtesy on my part.

[Guest]

So you don’t get it either...lol.

and no I’m not advocating fucking with merging traffic, but the motherfuckers who drive as if they are obligated to Move left and fuck over faster moving traffic in the left lane(s) should be shot.

[Jerry Callo 8,703]

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Because it’s gross when the dogs do it. 

Gross, yet efficient.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

Yes, but does any more of it actually get used the second time or does it all just get repooped?

[dingleberryswitzer 2,724]

I'll be honest here.  I do t understand those memes where it says

Nobody:

Absolutely nobody:

Then a picture of something.

  I'm not sure what the bit it.

[tbone_ 14,123]

Politics. Jesus Fucking Christ what a waste of energy.

[elfenix 34,240]

I'll be honest here.  I do t understand those memes where it says
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Then a picture of something.
  I'm not sure what the bit it.

It's something no one was asking for

[sheeeit 129]

I may have posted this previously but it doesn’t matter because he bothers me so much but, Howie Mandel ?  
 

regarding traffic, it boils me when people don’t merge when they should and race down a long line of cars and wedge their way in at the front.  My wife is convinced that I’m going to get shot someday but I always pull over into the open lane and then keep my pace exactly even with the car on my right so that I block anyone from racing up to the front of the line. It is hilarious, at least to me, how furious people get when I do this.

[Newdoc 3,440]

37 minutes ago, sheeeit said:

boils me when people don’t merge when they should and race down a long line of cars and wedge their way in at the front.

Zipper merge is best

I get your sentiment but the zipper merge appears to be best. I’ve adapted by slowing my speed in the lane I’m merging from, turn on signal well ahead of time and ease in as the lane markers narrow. That way you don’t look like an ahole zooming to the front and forcing your way into the continuation lane.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

54 minutes ago, sheeeit said:

I may have posted this previously but it doesn’t matter because he bothers me so much but, Howie Mandel ?  
 

regarding traffic, it boils me when people don’t merge when they should and race down a long line of cars and wedge their way in at the front.  My wife is convinced that I’m going to get shot someday but I always pull over into the open lane and then keep my pace exactly even with the car on my right so that I block anyone from racing up to the front of the line. It is hilarious, at least to me, how furious people get when I do this.

Oy vey zipper merging is what you're supposed to be doing. People going to the front of the line are doing it right. Traffic flows much smoother when people don't act like assholes, and block folks from merging the correct way.  Congratulation on being one of the assholes slowing up traffic.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

15 minutes ago, Newdoc said:

Zipper merge is best

I get your sentiment but the zipper merge appears to be best. I’ve adapted by slowing my speed in the lane I’m merging from, turn on signal well ahead of time and ease in as the lane markers narrow. That way you don’t look like an ahole zooming to the front and forcing your way into the continuation lane.

There ya go, courtesy at all times starts with using your cars blinkers...

[elfenix 34,240]

[sheeeit 129]

1 hour ago, Newdoc said:

Zipper merge is best

I get your sentiment but the zipper merge appears to be best. I’ve adapted by slowing my speed in the lane I’m merging from, turn on signal well ahead of time and ease in as the lane markers narrow. That way you don’t look like an ahole zooming to the front and forcing your way into the continuation lane.

 

50 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Oy vey zipper merging is what you're supposed to be doing. People going to the front of the line are doing it right. Traffic flows much smoother when people don't act like assholes, and block folks from merging the correct way.  Congratulation on being one of the assholes slowing up traffic.

Lulz. Zipper merging.  This may work fine in theory or if people start it early but not in the situations I’m talking about.  There are state laws about late merging.  If the right lane is at a standstill and you blow by 50 cars to get to the front of the line then you are an asshole.  You going by me to try and merge late when no one is moving just fucks things up worse.   

[DalTxHornFan 3,101]

I hate to say it, but Oklahoma actually does this correctly.

Question: 

What is the proper way to merge when approaching a highway work zone?
 

Answer:

The key issue here is courtesy. Safe and efficient movement of traffic through the merging area approaching a work zone lane closure depends on the merging driver’s ability to plan ahead, adjust speed and merge into a safe gap between vehicles in the open lane. Merging is much easier and safer when all drivers act in a courteous manner and work together.

Since 2009, state law requires motorists to merge as soon as possible when they see “State Law: Merge Now” signs. This is a refined zipper merge and is designed to improve work zone safety for both workers and motorists. These signs are posted about a half mile ahead of construction and are meant to encourage drivers to change lanes before they get to the point where they have to merge. By merging earlier, it removes a conflict point thus improving the flow of traffic as it enters the work zone.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, sheeeit said:

 

Lulz. Zipper merging.  This may work fine in theory or if people start it early but not in the situations I’m talking about.  There are state laws about late merging.  If the right lane is at a standstill and you blow by 50 cars to get to the front of the line then you are an asshole.  You going by me to try and merge late when no one is moving just fucks things up worse.   

I'd say the dumb asses are the ones who sit behind 50 cars when there's a mile or so of open road before the merge point. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, DalTxHornFan said:

I hate to say it, but Oklahoma actually does this correctly.

Question: 

What is the proper way to merge when approaching a highway work zone?
 

Answer:

The key issue here is courtesy. Safe and efficient movement of traffic through the merging area approaching a work zone lane closure depends on the merging driver’s ability to plan ahead, adjust speed and merge into a safe gap between vehicles in the open lane. Merging is much easier and safer when all drivers act in a courteous manner and work together.

Since 2009, state law requires motorists to merge as soon as possible when they see “State Law: Merge Now” signs. This is a refined zipper merge and is designed to improve work zone safety for both workers and motorists. These signs are posted about a half mile ahead of construction and are meant to encourage drivers to change lanes before they get to the point where they have to merge. By merging earlier, it removes a conflict point thus improving the flow of traffic as it enters the work zone.

I get that and don't wait till the very last point, but conditions simply don't allow that kind of merging when it's rush hour or heavy traffic.

[elfenix 34,240]

Lulz. Zipper merging.  This may work fine in theory or if people start it early but not in the situations I’m talking about.  There are state laws about late merging.  If the right lane is at a standstill and you blow by 50 cars to get to the front of the line then you are an asshole.  You going by me to try and merge late when no one is moving just fucks things up worse.   

"zipper merging doesn't work unless everyone knows it and does it so I'm going to be the asshole that doesn't do it ensuring it doesn't work"
-sheeeit, probably

[hundredTT 578]

People who won't eat left-overs/waste food. I have two great examples. My brother and sister inlaw will not eat left overs. I lived with them briefly in college in 2008 and they haven't changed. It would be like good shit wrapped up, and would get dumped eventually, unless it was me eating the leftovers. My sister is worse. She doesn't that have the money to waste, especially building a new house. She will literally make her kids oven fishsticks/chicken nuggets/whatever the fuck, and end up trashing so much of it that wasn't eaten. We were raised to eat everything on the fucking plate, my sister and her husband are staying at my folks while their new house is being built, I'm back too because of my condo restorations. It's horrible haha. 

[Patricio Swayze 17,058]

If you are married to someone who can cook, or you yourself can cook. And I mean really cook, leftovers are like eating god’s vagina.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

47 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

If you are married to someone who can cook, or you yourself can cook. And I mean really cook, leftovers are like eating god’s vagina.

Ummmmmmmm...... yeah....... sure...

[mulletpelini 5,211]

if you aren't eating leftovers you're the first ones that the zombies will pick off you entitled piece of shit

Edited August 14, 2020 by mulletpelini
fyi my dad is 85 and won't eat leftovers go figure

[Whatever 700]

Yeah leftovers are Awesome. Repurposed ones are better. We have the Steel Shank thread for that.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Damn,  stews, chili, spaghetti sauces, soups, BBQ, casseroles all get better as they sit a day or so.  I spent a lot of time as a child around my great grand parents. There was no such thing as waste for folks who lived thru the Great Depression.

[deadshank 24,653]

Leftovers are fine by me if you have a steam oven to reheat them (much better than microwave) and you don’t have to eat the same leftover dish for 8 straight days. 

[Guest]

+1 on leftovers.

Ever since I was a kid, I have crushed leftovers, to the point my mom would call me the Human Garbage Disposal.  No I am not a fatty.   I just don't like food to waste.  There are so many foods that are better the next day or two after they were cooked.

My rule is that no prepared food( leftovers) gets eaten after 6 days in the ice box.  Maybe that's too cautionary; but it is still very rare that something makes it that long.  There was a pretty good adjustment period after we had had 2 teenage boys in the house and then none...  all of the sudden shit stopped magically disappearing when they got home from work at 10:30 or 11:00PM from work or had a couple of buddies over.

Edited August 14, 2020 by slorch

[Underdog 28,633]

Ex-BIL refused to eat leftovers, he's also a worthless twat who liked his steak/meat well done. 

[PRONG HORN 3,146]