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Things you really just don't get...

immortal13

By immortal13
in Lulz

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Clintonaldo
Clintonaldo

Satisfaction 

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

Fantasy football/baseball/basketball/hockey.  If you have to follow professional sports pick a team.  Who has time for all that other nonsense that goes along with fantasy sports.

nnm
nnm

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,820

Posted
Posted
On 7/12/2020 at 12:22 PM, Lobo said:

The primary function of the vagina is childbirth.  The primary function(s) of the mouth are eating/breathing/speaking.  But that doesn't stop me from enjoying kissing my wife and performing oral sex on her.  

Me either, your wife told me she loves it😎

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DeepEastTexas

DeepEastTexas 644

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, nnm said:

For the longest time, Mrs. NNM thought those stickers said “Shit Life” because of the goofy font. She wondered why people put them on their vehicles. It’s better if you read it that way. 
 

ANY corporate sticker on cars is ridiculous to me. The first thing I do when I bring a new-to-me vehicle home is strip off all of the dealer badges. Why in the world would I give free advertising to someone I just paid tens of thousands of dollars?  

The first time I saw one of those stickers, I thought it said "Slut Life".   It made more sense after I saw what the lady driving the car looked like.  

As for the dealer badges, I make that a condition of sale.  My last few vehicles have not had a decal or dealer badge on them.  I told the salesperson that the deal would be off if I saw one on the vehicle.  I inspect the car before signing anything, if I see one, I tell the guy "no deal".  Had to walk away from one deal and I did so without hesitation.  If they lie about that, they'll lie about something else.

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deadshank

deadshank 24,653

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Mkay, still confused but I'll take your word for it...

Hozzle rockets don’t take no prisoners. 
 

A golfer gets a hitch in his swing where the first point of contact with the ball is the hozzle instead of the club face.  The hozzle is the socket transition point where the club head attaches to the club shaft.  
 

The results are the absolute worst shot in golf where the ball skitters off away from the golfer.  The big issue is the golfer gets “the shank” in his head and doesn’t trust his swing anymore and that causes his swing to get worse and cause even more shanks. 
 

The golfer has “the shanks” and if he can’t overcome them will self-banish himself from the game and develop some sort of substance abuse problem. 
 

Or change his name, move to a remote coastal village in South America and work on a fishing boat. 

Edited by deadshank
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,820

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Hozzle rockets don’t take no prisoners. 
 

A golfer gets a hitch in his swing where the first point of contact with the ball is the hozzle instead of the club face.  The hozzle is the socket transition point where the club head attaches to the club shaft.  
 

The results are the absolute worst shot in golf where the ball skitters off away from the golfer.  The big issue is the golfer gets “the shank” in his head and doesn’t trust his swing anymore and that causes his swing to get worse and cause even more shanks. 
 

The golfer has “the shanks” and if he can’t overcome them will self-banish himself from the game and develop some sort of substance abuse problem. 
 

Or change his name, move to a remote coastal village in South America and work on a fishing boat. 

ROFLMAO, OK, I kind of get it now. Sounds like it could develop into a very debilitating situation both mentally and emotionally...you ok bro?

Edit: Wish I could rep that more than once.

Edited by SHOOTER12
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26,466

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Posted
7 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

I agree, but it could go the other way as well where she doesn't drink, and constantly bitches about every sexist, racist, white male patriarchy thing you say and do. Holding a door for her, fo example or God forbid, asking where she'd like to go out to eat.

My first lesbian encounters were not Penthouse Letters worthy; they were with pairs of women who ran businesses and would pay my dumb ass to work. Then I was almost always given beer while everybody chilled out and there was no talk of feelings, patriarchy, or any such shit.

 

In fact, it was like working for guys, except I never got dicked out of my money.

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nnm

nnm 36,570

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, deadshank said:

Hozzle rockets don’t take no prisoners. 
 

A golfer gets a hitch in his swing where the first point of contact with the ball is the hozzle instead of the club face.  The hozzle is the socket transition point where the club head attaches to the club shaft.  
 

The results are the absolute worst shot in golf where the ball skitters off away from the golfer.  The big issue is the golfer gets “the shank” in his head and doesn’t trust his swing anymore and that causes his swing to get worse and cause even more shanks. 
 

The golfer has “the shanks” and if he can’t overcome them will self-banish himself from the game and develop some sort of substance abuse problem. 
 

Or change his name, move to a remote coastal village in South America and work on a fishing boat. 

Were you spying on me at the range today?  Creepo stalker. 

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bluto

bluto 4,942

Posted
Posted

People who take beach vacations to Galveston, complete and total shithole of a beach/water.
People who CHOOSE to live in apartments as opposed to duplex/townhome/house
Obnoxiously Loud exhaust systems
People who go to a sparsely attended sporting event and still sit in their exact assigned seats in the top deck
People who bring their dogs every damn place they go
Using a debit card or cash instead of credit card

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deadshank

deadshank 24,653

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

ROFLMAO, OK, I kind of get it now. Sounds like it could develop into a very debilitating situation both mentally and emotionally...you ok bro?

Edit: Wish I could rep that more than once.

I walked away from the game.  10 years now. I live in a rolled up newspaper behind a grease trap in an alley by a methadone dispensary in Manaus, Brazil.  Nobody here knows my shame and grief.  

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26,438

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, deadshank said:

I live in a rolled up newspaper behind a grease trap in an alley by a methadone dispensary in Manaus, Brazil. 

Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

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CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2,981

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, bluto said:

People who take beach vacations to Galveston, complete and total shithole of a beach/water.

It's funny, I've lived in Houston the better part of 30 years, and I've never been to the beach in Galveston during that time.  I've stayed in the San Luis a few times on business and once a long weekend with my wife, but did not venture to the beach.  Because it sucks.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,820

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Posted
41 minutes ago, deadshank said:

I walked away from the game.  10 years now. I live in a rolled up newspaper behind a grease trap in an alley by a methadone dispensary in Manaus, Brazil.  Nobody here knows my shame and grief.  

LMAO,. "Wyatt I am rolling".

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 12,045

Posted
Posted (edited)

Galveston water sucks, yes.

But there are some nice houses to rent on the far west side of the island. I’ve always stayed in the Pointe West Neighborhood. 

Is it white sand? No.

Is it turquoise blue water? No.

But they have a private section of the beach that keeps people from driving their cars all over it.

I can rent a house with friends on the water for a drive at ~ an hr which means more time for relaxing and less traveling. In addition, I can buy all my groceries at HEB and Costco before hand and it’s close enough that I can bring it.

Its not the greatest but we all can’t afford to fly to Europe every year with kids.

i also do nothing in town other than maybe going to Moody Gardens. Actual Galveston city isn’t much to speak of and always disappoints.

 

Edited by Dnaguy
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ulukinatme

ulukinatme 1,765

Posted
Posted

Dave Matthews Band

Amy Schumer

Most music today

Bumper stickers, why deface your vehicle?  (I'm cool with magnets that support good causes)

Tattoos on hot chicks, for the same reason as the last one.  Ruining good real estate.

People who buy the latest smart phones each year.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9,083

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, RollLeft said:

Youre either a thief or a Comi bastard.  Either way you suck.

Fuck man... fireworks... FIREWORKS. They are 4th of July.  One of the best I've had in a long time this year. Spent it at the river with my dad, and the folks around his river house, and marina were shooting off really goods ones for a couple hours. We had 360 degree fireworks no matter where we looked. Then you could look across the bay, and see them going off up and down the coast line....... It was great.

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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47,133

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Bash Riprock said:

People that buy fireworks

Not even close to the people who film these firework shows. I can not name one time when I thought "man I sure want to watch some fireworks I filmed 3 years ago" or thinking to ask someone "hey you want to watch some fireworks I filmed 3 years ago". No one fucking cares. We've all seen fireworks. They also get old after a few minutes.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
58 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

All trucks are pringles trucks.

And the day when the tennis balls were set to arrive, a potato truck showed up instead.  But Pringles is a laid back company so they said, "fuck it!  Cut 'em up!" 

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Felix

Felix 607

Posted
Posted

Anime.  My kids (teenagers) will sit and watch 500 episodes of some crazy Japanese shit for hours and actually scream at stuff that happens in the show. All I hear from the playroom all day is people yelling in Japanese.  I tried to watch one with them and I just do not get it.

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