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Posted
4 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

Well, we were focused on other things, but yes.  Let's just say I was quite surprised at effort #1, and we had a long lesson doing effort #2 together.  He's still not a pro, and geometry seems to be a bit elusive, but it's better.

Teaching him to mow at age 16 is your biggest problem.  Get them doing the straight aways at age 8.  Start making some turns at start of the age 9 summer.  By the end of age 9 summer, boy you better not fuck up my grass - including know how to read the grain, length, dew, etc to know how to adjust blade height.  And that damn grass better be cut every five days max. 

I was popping one-handed wheelies with a push mower (was there any other kind back in the 80's?) barefooted around the flower beds by 6th grade (jamming LL Cool J and 2 Live Crew on my bad ass Sony Walkman cranked up full blast).

 

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Posted
1 minute ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Teaching him to mow at age 16 is your biggest problem.  Get them doing the straight aways at age 8.  Start making some turns at start of the age 9 summer.  By the end of age 9 summer, boy you better not fuck up my grass - including know how to read the grain, length, dew, etc to know how to adjust blade height.  And that damn grass better be cut every five days max. 

I was popping one-handed wheelies with a push mower (was there any other kind back in the 80's?) barefooted around the flower beds by 6th grade (jamming LL Cool J and 2 Live Crew on my bad ass Sony Walkman cranked up full blast).

 

Would you like to come fuck my wife since you know how to do that better than me, too?

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Posted
4 hours ago, Matuka said:

 

After my 4th grade school year, I was watching my Dad mow the lawn.  I foolishly asked if I could try a couple of laps.

Dad never mowed the lawn again.

I asked my old man years later what made you think I was ready to start mowing the yard at that age?  He said, "I got tired of cutting it myself."

Great advice.

Posted
3 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Would you like to come fuck my wife since you know how to do that better than me, too?

She's probably not my type, but given the proper monetary considerations I'm sure it could be arranged.

DM me for her pleasure.

Posted

Since this thread is derailed anyway, I'll add my two cents into the mix: my kid is 12 and I keep saying every summer, "This is going to be the year that he learns to mow." But I keep doing it because deep down, I actually like it. It's my time of peace and quiet. And there is nothing better than a cold beer after mowing the grass in the hot summer.

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Posted

Start with a pop pop push toy from Fisher-Price then move up to the bubble mower. When he masters the ninety degrees and diagonals, you're good to go.

Wait until the impulse control for speed over substance is mastered if the riding lawn tractor is a consideration (don't know the size of your lawn). A tractor meeting a stone wall can cause i$$ues, not that my fourteen year old self would know anything about that.

Posted
5 minutes ago, immamac said:

My son is 9 months how long till I get him his first mower?

You suck as a dad.  He should have mowed his way out of the womb.

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Posted
Since this thread is derailed anyway, I'll add my two cents into the mix: my kid is 12 and I keep saying every summer, "This is going to be the year that he learns to mow." But I keep doing it because deep down, I actually like it. It's my time of peace and quiet. And there is nothing better than a cold beer after mowing the grass in the hot summer.

Peace and quiet and a lawnmower?
Posted
1 minute ago, Nivek said:


Peace and quiet and a lawnmower?

Electric is where it's at.  Electric motors are fairly bulletproof, batteries are . . . well, new ones can be bought . . . and modern carburetors suck all kinds of ass.  Either buy a 30 YO B&S basic gas model and keep it tuned or go electric.

Posted
11 minutes ago, Nivek said:


Peace and quiet and a lawnmower?

Does the lawnmower try and tell me about everything happening in her office, everything her mother is up to, all the annoying shit her pain-in-the-ass brother is doing, or the latest article on pintrest/facebook/instagram? Nope. Compared to all of that, the lawnmower engine is like a chorus of angels softly singing me a lullaby. 

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Posted
50 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Teaching him to mow at age 16 is your biggest problem.  Get them doing the straight aways at age 8.  Start making some turns at start of the age 9 summer.  By the end of age 9 summer, boy you better not fuck up my grass - including know how to read the grain, length, dew, etc to know how to adjust blade height.  And that damn grass better be cut every five days max. 

I was popping one-handed wheelies with a push mower (was there any other kind back in the 80's?) barefooted around the flower beds by 6th grade (jamming LL Cool J and 2 Live Crew on my bad ass Sony Walkman cranked up full blast).

 

Fuck that.  Bullneck, Jr. doesn't mow grass. Shit like that is reserved for the lower class (me).  Not risking him running over his foot with the mower and ruining his elite college athletic career.

Posted
1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Teaching him to mow at age 16 is your biggest problem.  Get them doing the straight aways at age 8.  Start making some turns at start of the age 9 summer.  By the end of age 9 summer, boy you better not fuck up my grass - including know how to read the grain, length, dew, etc to know how to adjust blade height.  And that damn grass better be cut every five days max. 

I was popping one-handed wheelies with a push mower (was there any other kind back in the 80's?) barefooted around the flower beds by 6th grade (jamming LL Cool J and 2 Live Crew on my bad ass Sony Walkman cranked up full blast).

 

Jeezus fucking Christ all this lawn mower talk and it took this long?spacer.png

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Posted
3 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Since this thread is derailed anyway, I'll add my two cents into the mix: my kid is 12 and I keep saying every summer, "This is going to be the year that he learns to mow." But I keep doing it because deep down, I actually like it. It's my time of peace and quiet. And there is nothing better than a cold beer after mowing the grass in the hot summer.

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Posted
9 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Teaching him to mow at age 16 is your biggest problem.  Get them doing the straight aways at age 8.  Start making some turns at start of the age 9 summer.  By the end of age 9 summer, boy you better not fuck up my grass - including know how to read the grain, length, dew, etc to know how to adjust blade height.  And that damn grass better be cut every five days max. 

I was popping one-handed wheelies with a push mower (was there any other kind back in the 80's?) barefooted around the flower beds by 6th grade (jamming LL Cool J and 2 Live Crew on my bad ass Sony Walkman cranked up full blast).

 

P5XZ.gif

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Posted
9 hours ago, immamac said:

My son is 9 months how long till I get him his first mower?

Soon, very soon the training begins

Amazon.com: Hasbro Playskool Chompin' Mike The Mower with Bonus ...

Add one of these, and you are set.  Your wife will love all the creative ways he can leave those 46 pieces scattered throughout the house.

Amazon.com: Big Mo's Toys Tool Box - Pretend Play Three Tier ...

Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

118229375_626778861555107_21553646761088

My son turns 7 in October, and this kinda stuff breaks my heart...it’s the exact opposite of what we are trying to teach my boy (and his little sister as she gets older).  We have age-appropriate kids books regarding inclusion, diversity and examples of how the world is full of different people...and I still don’t think I’d involve him in any political endeavor as I’d be worried he wouldn't understand nuance or how divisive our views can be with some people in Texas, and it’s not his job to change hearts/minds at that age.  
 

All that 7yo probably fully understands is how advocating for this wall thing makes his parents happy, has other adults fawning over him and is ecstatic to feel important.  He may not even understand the intention behind that wall, or even worse he’s being indoctrinated by adults to fear inclusion and blame your own problems on outsiders you’ve never met.  
 

What about the stuttering boy who is also being used in politics?  Well you’d certainly have a point...however I’d argue that he is almost twice the age of the wall kid, is being taught that he can overcome steep challenges with perseverance, that it’s ok to be different, everyone has their own strengths/weaknesses and hopefully to one day give back to the world the compassion others have shown you as you grow along the way.  
 

Two very different messages for two kids at very different development stages.  One is being taught to fear others, and one is being taught to work your own problems with a little help from others.  
 

/rant over

Edited by Homercles
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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Since this thread is derailed anyway, I'll add my two cents into the mix: my kid is 12 and I keep saying every summer, "This is going to be the year that he learns to mow." But I keep doing it because deep down, I actually like it. It's my time of peace and quiet. And there is nothing better than a cold beer after mowing the grass in the hot summer.

THIS.

I've got a two acre yard.  Counting the getting out all the equipment, checking oil, gas, tire pressure, changing blades,  trimming, using the edger on the driveway and sidewalk, mowing, then blowing off all the concrete and cleaning up the mower (use a rider, not a zero turn---I don't care about how fast I'm mowing here) after I'm done it's 3.5-4 hours total.

That's 3.5-4 hours of my time.  No one to bother me, no phone, no TV, nothing.

Sidenote.  I first started mowing yards for cash when I was 11.  Dad came home from work one day; told me to get in the truck.  We went to a mom and pop place in town, and he told me to pick out a mower, which I paid for on credit to the store.  He had never discussed with me about mowing yards; he just unilaterally decided that it was time I had a part time job. I had never pushed a mower in my life.  Paid off the mower that later that summer.  Mowed yards through college.

Dad did me right that day on three fronts:  introduced me to working, using credit to obtain something, and mowing, which I enjoy doing.  Despite having my own mower, I never mowed our yard---dad still did that.

Edited by Francisco 2.0
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Posted

1. Mowing is a rite of passage and a zen art.  Made my bones pushing a reel mower with my seven-year old chest because my arms weren't string enough and grass to thick.

2. Don't ever ever ever EVER use a riding mower with a little kid in your lap.  You know why.  Little Johnny delights in riding in Gramps' lap on the mower.  Gramps even lets him "drive" from time to time.  One Saturday morning Gramps is mowing the back yard, heading away from the house.  Little Johnny sees Gramps, comes down the back steps, runs after Gramps, calling for him to stop so Johhny can ride. Gramps can't hear over the engine noise.  The new mown grass is slippery with dew, the big yard slopes away from the back porch.  Johnny is running too fast.  He is only five years old and doesn't know Gramps can't hear him and won't stop.  When Johnny reaches the mower and tries to stop running, he slips down and slides under the mower.  The side guard on the mower is not low enough to prevent what happens next, serious but not fatal physical mutilation.

True stuff and tragic.  He survived, but many surgeries lay ahead, a guardianship/conservatorship controversy, a protected person trial at 19, a few happy months now and then, and death at 27 from a drug overdose.

Posted (edited)

What a beautiful scam. They  know they’re bullet proof and didn’t even bother to try to hide it. Normally you run that money through llc’s and such. When your boy is king you can just say ‘fuck it’ !!!!

Edited by tx 3 putt
Posted
58 minutes ago, Bama Llama said:

1. Mowing is a rite of passage and a zen art.  Made my bones pushing a reel mower with my seven-year old chest because my arms weren't string enough and grass to thick.

2. Don't ever ever ever EVER use a riding mower with a little kid in your lap.  You know why.  Little Johnny delights in riding in Gramps' lap on the mower.  Gramps even lets him "drive" from time to time.  One Saturday morning Gramps is mowing the back yard, heading away from the house.  Little Johnny sees Gramps, comes down the back steps, runs after Gramps, calling for him to stop so Johhny can ride. Gramps can't hear over the engine noise.  The new mown grass is slippery with dew, the big yard slopes away from the back porch.  Johnny is running too fast.  He is only five years old and doesn't know Gramps can't hear him and won't stop.  When Johnny reaches the mower and tries to stop running, he slips down and slides under the mower.  The side guard on the mower is not low enough to prevent what happens next, serious but not fatal physical mutilation.

True stuff and tragic.  He survived, but many surgeries lay ahead, a guardianship/conservatorship controversy, a protected person trial at 19, a few happy months now and then, and death at 27 from a drug overdose.

I knew of at least 2 people that died, one a kid, one an old man, from rolling riding mowers over while mowing steep bar ditches.  Serious business.

Posted

Lawn talk still won't stop...

 

I am a man of the streets. Overtime some small changes are noticeable.

A lot more white people (and black) mowing other peoples' lawns. That is a reflection of the state of the economy. The hustle is real. If we weren't handing out printed money, yes there would be catastrophe, but the economy would become more in line with reality. But that is not the lubricant of our inequitable commerce, it's easier to pit us against ourselves and continue to suckle on those government contracts.

Posted
1 hour ago, Bama Llama said:

2. Don't ever ever ever EVER use a riding mower with a little kid in your lap.  You know why.  Little Johnny delights in riding in Gramps' lap on the mower.  Gramps even lets him "drive" from time to time.  One Saturday morning Gramps is mowing the back yard, heading away from the house.  Little Johnny sees Gramps, comes down the back steps, runs after Gramps, calling for him to stop so Johhny can ride. Gramps can't hear over the engine noise.  The new mown grass is slippery with dew, the big yard slopes away from the back porch.  Johnny is running too fast.  He is only five years old and doesn't know Gramps can't hear him and won't stop.  When Johnny reaches the mower and tries to stop running, he slips down and slides under the mower.  The side guard on the mower is not low enough to prevent what happens next, serious but not fatal physical mutilation.

True stuff and tragic.  He survived, but many surgeries lay ahead, a guardianship/conservatorship controversy, a protected person trial at 19, a few happy months now and then, and death at 27 from a drug overdose.

You left out the parf about Jimbo Fisher recruiting him to play offensive tackle.

Posted

That poor kid is being raised by racists. I guess now they know what it is like to put your trust in someone and have them kidnap you and ransom you back to family after you gave them money to get you across the border wall safely...or not. 

Posted
1. Mowing is a rite of passage and a zen art.  Made my bones pushing a reel mower with my seven-year old chest because my arms weren't string enough and grass to thick.
2. Don't ever ever ever EVER use a riding mower with a little kid in your lap.  You know why.  Little Johnny delights in riding in Gramps' lap on the mower.  Gramps even lets him "drive" from time to time.  One Saturday morning Gramps is mowing the back yard, heading away from the house.  Little Johnny sees Gramps, comes down the back steps, runs after Gramps, calling for him to stop so Johhny can ride. Gramps can't hear over the engine noise.  The new mown grass is slippery with dew, the big yard slopes away from the back porch.  Johnny is running too fast.  He is only five years old and doesn't know Gramps can't hear him and won't stop.  When Johnny reaches the mower and tries to stop running, he slips down and slides under the mower.  The side guard on the mower is not low enough to prevent what happens next, serious but not fatal physical mutilation.
True stuff and tragic.  He survived, but many surgeries lay ahead, a guardianship/conservatorship controversy, a protected person trial at 19, a few happy months now and then, and death at 27 from a drug overdose.

I was waiting for a Natural Born Killers Woody Harrelson punchline. Sigh.
Posted
10 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

118229375_626778861555107_21553646761088

Kid got an inoculation against all kinds of future scams.

Or a master's course in how (not) to run them.

Anyway, if the little dude were to just start cutting grass, that's one more Illegal Mexican that would go back to El Salvador.

Posted (edited)
On 8/21/2020 at 10:14 PM, jimmyjazz said:

Electric is where it's at.  Electric motors are fairly bulletproof, batteries are . . . well, new ones can be bought . . . and modern carburetors suck all kinds of ass.  Either buy a 30 YO B&S basic gas model and keep it tuned or go electric.

i feel like thos B&S motors are the only thing built to last anymore. Every spring... a new air filter, a little oil, fresh gas.... starts right up. Going on 25 years strong.

have owned 1 lawn mower and... about a 18 weed wackers (bane of my existence)

Oh and count me as one who also enjoys mowing my yard.

Edited by yoladu
Posted
1 minute ago, yoladu said:

Oh and count me as one who also enjoys mowing my yard.. gardening, planting, weed pulling?... well that is a different story.

That was me up until the Covid Boredom, minus the enjoyment part.

I always thought of the grass as random green stuff, meant to be whacked down. Then I started taking a good look, hmmm, this nice stuff that barely needs cutting, that's Zoysia, oh yeah, people pay for that... and this clumpy stuff, so that's crabgrass... and this matty stuff is Spotted Spurge...

I started going in with the bayonet, popping each weed up by the roots. It was hard to stop, like popping bubble wrap, or watching mango worm videos during lunch. Left these barren pockmarks everywhere, I was like, "A'ight Zoysia, grow your ass back over these bare spots."

Every trip outside gets sidetracked into a festival of search and destroy missions vs the Weed Cong.

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Posted
13 minutes ago, yoladu said:

have owned 1 lawn mower and... about a 18 weed wackers (bane of my existence)

I hear ya' on the weed whackers.  They're worthless.  I'm about to start using scissors.



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