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Let's say you have to travel back in time.

Santos L. Helper

By Santos L. Helper
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Fuck Tim Beck

Fuck Tim Beck 3854

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1 hour ago, BradInATX said:

Where are the best drugs and women? If I only have a few years before I die of a tooth infection or the plague or blood poisoning, I'm going out like a champ. 

 

 

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Close your eyes and imagine a freshly skinned beaver pelt that's been sitting in the sun for a month.  That's what the pussy you'll be getting looks and smells like.

So a normal Tuesday for Brad then. 

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13301

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24 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

id go basically whereever steel in shittsburgh, or Ohio where the railroad began,  bank a fuck load of cash, generational type shit then the become the source of conspiracy theorist because i own everything 

Yeah seems like the play would be to be near some kind of tycoon/genius right before he gets an idea and sell him that same idea he was already going to have.

Or just somewhere where I'd die quickly because I don't want to live 200 years ago.

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Nivek

Nivek 17036

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Rome. I would like to own slaves and make them fight in gladiatorial games, sex a harem of Persian and Greek ladies, and have a personal mercenary army.


Help Philip defeat the Romans and their legionnaires with the phalanx by getting them to the ridge faster and in formation before they were attacked, altering world history...


I would rather go to the future.

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Degenerate Gardner

Degenerate Gardner 4104

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9 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Texas. That puts you here just in time to be one of the squatters who got to become one of Austin's old three hundred. Of course, I'm not crazy so I'll keep a healthy distance from Commancheria.

Austin was still cool back then.

No, it was actually terribly hot. I am all for traveling whenywhere, seeking fortune and saving humanity, but I'm too delicate to live in the south without A/C.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 90046

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I could introduce the people of the early 1800s to the music of Atomheartbevo and the Rolling Lead Pink Beetles.  I have an enormous back catalog just waiting to be published, with potential hits ranging from “Stairway to Heaven” to discussions of the dark side of the moon to songs about politicians blowing their minds out in their carts.

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

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Just now, washparkhorn said:

Remarkable for such a journey. 

Sacagawea was invaluable - not only for her language skills, but also for her quick thinking to save the priceless journals when a boat capsized. 

And the fact she just happened to be the sister of the leader of a random native group that was ready to kill all of them.  Truly a bad ass.  

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11823

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12 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

First thing we do is find out if Sacagawea has a couple of sisters we can take to the hot springs on the Yellowstone . . . 

We can fish later.

I’m not looking forward to having my boils lanced after a hard day of pulling a boat upstream.  I take it you’ve read both Undaunted Courage and the diaries?  Amazing stuff.  Imagine burning 7000 calories a day.  

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4980

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2 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

Not a bad choice. 
You know their expedition only lost one man to natural causes.

On the expedition. How many died later of complications arising from it such as syphilis? We probably have no way of knowing. Of course you could just abstain. Or use some sheep (or whatever animal was available on the frontier) intestines to try and prevent it. But that might not have flown with some of the tribes who literally wanted the white men to impregnate their wives so that their children could have the white man's medicine.

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washparkhorn

washparkhorn 9939

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8 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

On the expedition. How many died later of complications arising from it such as syphilis? We probably have no way of knowing. Of course you could just abstain. Or use some sheep (or whatever animal was available on the frontier) intestines to try and prevent it. But that might not have flown with some of the tribes who literally wanted the white men to impregnate their wives so that their children could have the white man's medicine.

From what I recall - one died of complications from an appendix. Another got lost and another almost died of starvation (the expedition found him). But all of that may have been some damn movie like the Revenant - so please pardon any errors. 

20 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I’m not looking forward to having my boils lanced after a hard day of pulling a boat upstream.  I take it you’ve read both Undaunted Courage and the diaries?  Amazing stuff.  Imagine burning 7000 calories a day.  

I understand getting trail hardened, but all that portaging and rowing is a whole other beast. What an adventure.

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11823

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22 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

From what I recall - one died of complications from an appendix. Another got lost and another almost died of starvation (the expedition found him). But all of that may have been some damn movie like the Revenant - so please pardon any errors. 

I understand getting trail hardened, but all that portaging and rowing is a whole other beast. What an adventure.

Not to mention living with rats and vermin on the west coast.  Good times.

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4980

Posted
Posted (edited)
47 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

From what I recall - one died of complications from an appendix. Another got lost and another almost died of starvation (the expedition found him). But all of that may have been some damn movie like the Revenant - so please pardon any errors. 

It's been too long since I read Undaunted Courage, but I do remember that they did exceedingly well for the trip. It probably had something to do with them all pretty much being frontiersmen and the natural selection that went on on the frontier that didn't really let people who were genetically susceptible to many diseases survive very long. They were definitely of hardy stock.

Edit: I definitely don't want to leave out the impact of the native american and even french trader help they got. Without Sacagawea specifically they would have never made it.

Edited by NotActuallyALonghorn
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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 90046

Posted
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1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Of course you could just abstain. Or use some sheep (or whatever animal was available on the frontier) intestines to try and prevent it. But that might not have flown with some of the tribes who literally wanted the white men to impregnate their wives so that their children could have the white man's medicine.

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SimonBolivar

SimonBolivar 10961

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29 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I'm just sitting here thinking of all of the funny situations I could insert myself into being 6'3" and blond and green eyed. Like what if I just showed up in Mesoamerica 1,000 years ago. The language barrier would no doubt be awkward. 

All you need to memorize is metoctli which is pulque and corn is still elote. Might want a good nuahatal dictionary that says please don't kill me. I guess you just join up with Texcoco and take over Tenochtitlan. That doesn't seem that difficult to do.

 

One of the main beefs that the Mexica and other Natives had was that the Spaniards stunk and didn't bathe enough. So be sure and bring some deodorant.

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washparkhorn

washparkhorn 9939

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3 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

They were definitely of hardy stock

They took it slowly enough to learn the land and feed themselves - as others might follow. The plodding along gave them a lot of time to observe. Sounds ideal in this connected world. Hook 'em Lewis and Clark Expedition and discovery.

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washparkhorn

washparkhorn 9939

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11 minutes ago, StruggleBus said:

I wouldn’t. It’s never been easier to be a human than it is now and I’m not about to give up whataburger 

Facts, but waterbuger (I grew up on them) has salad hamburgers. Nothing wrong with that .  . . . Appreciate why you like it. It's a salad on a bun. That is progress. 

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