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nerf weapons (aka shooting my children with foam darts)

CleverNickname

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CleverNickname

CleverNickname 1321

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Confession: I enjoy shooting my children with foam darts. That's it, that's the post. 

Kids having a cranky Saturday? Having trouble prying them from minecraft/roblox? Solution: Nerf war. Tactics? Strategy. They are kids. So stupid. Easy prey. 

Nerf stuff is fine, but xshot and dart zone are sometimes more potent. Kids are wowed by fancy attachments and gizmos. They even have knock off picatinny rails these days.  Wannabe junior mall-ninja fascists, basically. They want those fancy magazine fed blasters. Jam-o-matics. Morons. Dads don't need that crap. We have old man wiles. 

Pro tip: apparently wally world had the $50 nexus pro which gets like 140fps and is said to make children cry. I like aiming for the neck or ear. That's what they get for waking me before 7am. I've did a spring mod on a nerf accustrike. It rips. My go-to is a hammerstrike. Revolver-style double action means I can keep my noggin behind cover. Kids are idiots about cover. Make em wear eye protection. I guess. Lots of super cheap knock off darts on amazon. 

My wife thought I was an idiot for my one couch/recliner request: must have cushions that can be used for a fort. But now she gets it, as we duck together in our bedroom hallway foxhole. You need those well crafted murder holes for drilling 10 year olds. The kids? The love it. Dumbasses. 

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Viking

Viking 301

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My parents spoil the shit out of their grandkids so we have about 30+ nerf guns as a result. They've got everything from the tiny single shooters up to the dual 25 mag dual barrel machine gun.

I'm not a fan of the guns with clips as once you've blown your load you're a dead man. My favorite is the Double Down as it is fast to reload, cock, and fire:

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davidg

davidg 4038

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We had nerf war birthday parties for my son for a couple of years.  All the kids showing up got a nerf pistol and there were lots of other weapons in the nerf armory to choose from for the battle.  We used the rainbow play set for one fort and I built another one out of pallets and some scaffolding and camp netting. Lots of fun.

They were in the midst of a battle one year and I came out the back door with one of these bad boys and 100 rounds belt linked together and went Jesse Ventura on them.  Dad’s have the best toys.

 

nerf-vulcan.jpg

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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4638

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For about a decade, I worked for an offshore construction company. The dive PM’s would have little nerf wars on their end of the floor. Inter office Nerf wars with 50 year old bubbleheads in business attire was always pretty entertaining for me. I never even thought about buying one to shoot the kids with, good thread. 

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26476

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My go-to entertainment when I was a sullen teen was to take a ball and a handful of pennies and go find a group of smaller kids. The rules were that I'd throw the ball, and whoever brought it back to me first, won a penny.

NOT whoever reached the ball first. Whoever brought it back to ME first. Scrapping encouraged.

Didn't even matter that it was just a penny. I could have used buttons. Kids would get into it for blood.

Early on, I'd toss the ball way out, but that ended up being one or two fast kids who'd get it and sprint back around the mob. Minimal entertainment for me, and the other kids would quit trying.

So then I started just chucking it into the middle of the crowd so it was like a fumble recovery. The slow fat kids would really put up a fight.  It was better.

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BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15328

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Kids getting older, but we have a stash of the older items.  Was great during the virtual initial school sessions.  I'd sneak into their room while they were farting off on ZOOM calls and pop them in the head when they were not paying attention.  Then bail and they had to stay on the call/class.  

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Superhero

Superhero 8845

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On 10/4/2020 at 5:51 AM, Spaulding Smails said:

This is my go-to.  It's the equivalent of being a Comanche while the kids are early settlers with muskets.  I wait for them to waste their entire artillery, then I come in close and destroy them.  It's compact, easy to load and shoots fast and straight.

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Everyone should have one of these deringers strapped to their leg. When you're out of ammo, and the enemy is reloading their belt / magazine / cylinder, nothing brings on more panic than you charging at them kamikaze style with a granny's pea shooter.

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davidg

davidg 4038

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12 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

The bigger sized darts on the Nerf guns have brought me to my knees a few times. If I don’t hear any noise from the kids while walking down the hall or into a bedroom, I automatically place one hand over my junk for safety reasons.

This thing with the green disks hurt when launched at close range.   Its full auto and has a 20 round mag.  It was my second favorite after the belt fed mg.

 

On another not, we did a deep clean on the bedroom this past weekend and I found 3 nerf darts back behind the headboard of our bed.  My son liked to sneak out of his bed and try to ambush us as we would lie in the bed reading at night.

 

 

latest?cb=20190409225632

 

 

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Superhero

Superhero 8845

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At one of my workplaces, we all went out during out lunch break and bought these.

Many a battle erupted at 5:01PM.

They look cool and you get 6 darts before needing to reload. Problem is they are a pain in the ass to reload, and you gotta count your bullets. You don't want your gun to go "click" when your street cred is on the line.

How to use revolver Nerf gun models

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GottaB

GottaB 595

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I have a dozen guns we haven’t even opened yet. Most were Walmart purchases either early spring (post Christmas clearance) or late summer (make way for the next Christmas lineup clearance). My kids are just now getting to able to cock the guns.

My fave is the hammer shot. Simple and effective.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21106

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So what's the best indoor Nerf pistol and rifle combination? Doomlet, the missus, and I each need a set. 

It will only ever be the three of us for the foreseeable future, playing in a medium-sized but not enormous house. Looking for the best accuracy with a maximum possible shot distance of maybe 75-80'.

What do I buy? 

Thanks! 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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troph

troph 24912

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For a few years all my 3 boys wanted for Christmas and bdays were burg guns. We probably have several thousand bullets we would by the reload sets with multiple hundreds per. We have several dozen guns. It’s crazy.  Fun hobby for the 7-11 age range. A bitch to clean up but at least they aren’t foot killers like legos.

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CleverNickname

CleverNickname 1321

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cheap starter set recc: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07GPV3TF6/

$20, full set up for 2 people. You can get knock off darts (I usually get EKIND waffle) on amazon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MUBMT1F/

If you want real distance, go to wally world and get this: 

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Adventure-Force-Tactical-Strike-Aeon-Pro-Ultimate-Dart-Blaster-Shoots-Over-125-FT/215999810

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CleverNickname

CleverNickname 1321

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Trust me, the aeon pro and nexus pro are bananas. The nerds in /r/nerf would agree Adventure Force is just Wally Worlds house brand... not sure who makes the nexus and aeon. Dont really care. They are legit 40-50% more powerful (by fps) than a 'normal' nerf. They aren't even really kids toys any more. There mere brandishing of my aeon terrifies my kids. I only use it from very far. Up close it might be child abuse. It might be worth it.

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