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Is there a thread to talk about how much Bon Jovi sucks?

Paul Wesley

By Paul Wesley
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Paul Wesley

Paul Wesley 3278

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I have Colbert on while I'm knocking out a few things on the laptop before bedtime.  Bon Jovi is the guest.  

First there's an "interview" where Colbert lobs him some softballs.  Boring.  Then he asks Bon Jovi about his writing process for this record.  This is a long-time pet peeve of mine:  an interviewer asking the songwriter to talk about how they wrote the song, squinting in the light of the writer's imagined genius, and this exchange happening immediately before the audience finds out that the song is, in fact, a banal piece of shit that is utterly devoid of artistic merit.  In fact, there's a whole show where this is the formula... it's called "Texas Music Scene with Ray Benson."

But I digress.

So Bon Jovi steps up to the mic and sings a clunker so bad that I had to look up the lyrics to see if my ears were deceiving me.  Turns out... nope.  He really does use "PPE" in a song, and starts a verse with this line:  "Although I'll keep my social distance, what the world needs is a hug."

Take my word for it:  The music is even worse than the lyrics.

God Dammit, Jon, you are single handedly killing off what very little is left of rock music.  

Jay Fucking Leno is embarrassed at what a milquetoast corporate whore you are.

Please stop.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18809

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3 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

When I met my wife she loved Guns N’ Roses and Pearl Jam. Now she is obsessed with Bon Jovi. What in the actual fuck? That guy sucks so bad.

Men get married thinking she will never change.  Women get married thinking she'll change him. Both end up disappointed 

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18809

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2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

By all accounts he's a good guy & even washes dishes at the restaurant he & his wife opened where low income & homeless people can get low cost & free meals.

But he's the undisputed king of schmaltzy lyrics.

A buddy who is a VP of a liquor distributor met him when he came in to pitch whatever booze he has. Buddy said he wanted to hate him but he was actually pretty cool . 

 

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25911

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21 hours ago, Paul Wesley said:

I have Colbert on while I'm knocking out a few things on the laptop before bedtime.  Bon Jovi is the guest.  

First there's an "interview" where Colbert lobs him some softballs.  Boring.  Then he asks Bon Jovi about his writing process for this record.  This is a long-time pet peeve of mine:  an interviewer asking the songwriter to talk about how they wrote the song, squinting in the light of the writer's imagined genius, and this exchange happening immediately before the audience finds out that the song is, in fact, a banal piece of shit that is utterly devoid of artistic merit.  In fact, there's a whole show where this is the formula... it's called "Texas Music Scene with Ray Benson."

But I digress.

So Bon Jovi steps up to the mic and sings a clunker so bad that I had to look up the lyrics to see if my ears were deceiving me.  Turns out... nope.  He really does use "PPE" in a song, and starts a verse with this line:  "Although I'll keep my social distance, what the world needs is a hug."

Take my word for it:  The music is even worse than the lyrics.

God Dammit, Jon, you are single handedly killing off what very little is left of rock music.  

Jay Fucking Leno is embarrassed at what a milquetoast corporate whore you are.

Please stop.

I remember listening to rock radio throughout the 80s, and every time it seemed a big rock band was announced as coming through town, for some reason the opener was Bon Jovi. Always.

Until one time later when Bon Jovi was no longer the special guest, but the opening act.

That's when I knew that 1980s hair metal was done. All the good acts were used up, broken up, in rehab or just plain shit, so Bon Jovi finally got their time in the sun after all the giants' shadows were gone.

I was right.

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Hairy Biped

Hairy Biped 585

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I know a guy who used to work for Kramer Guitars back in the day.  He was a painter and his primary job in the mid to late 80s was to paint and help assemble artist models for the endorsees.  At that time there were countless big bands/artists that endorsed Kramer, from Van Halen and Motley Crue, to the Jackson family and even Johnny Cash, who happened to be very close friends with the company's majority owner.  But aside from EVH, Richie and Jon were undeniably Kramer's premiere endorsement.  According to my friend, no other band received more product from them than Bon Jovi did, and when they would come in to either discuss what they wanted or pick up their guitars, they treated everybody in the building, including the management, like shit and would say stuff suggesting that they should own the company because they are the reason people buy Kramers.  That pissed my buddy off so much that eventually he refused to paint or build anymore guitars for Bon Jovi, so management would have to lie to him about who the guitars were for.  One time, based on the designs requested, he figured out that it was for JBJ and RS, so he decided to give them a little something extra.  He jacked-off into the paint, mixing his DNA in real good, and used that same paint on guitars for both of them.  He said that they used them in music videos and heavily in one of there big tours, never knowing they were holding his jizz in their hands.  He has about as red hot of hatred for JBJ as anyone could.

As a topical side story to this, the same guy worked with Eddie Van Halen a lot during that same time period.  He said despite the fact that EVH was usually high or drunk when he came in, he always went out of his way to be cool to everybody at Kramer and was very appreciative of what they did for him.  He would walk through the factory and give out VH tickets or albums or autographs, whatever people wanted.

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Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13570

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https://www.cracked.com/blog/5-famous-bands-that-are-clearly-ashamed-key-members/

I remember hearing Runaway in my truck no too long ago and just, with no warning, burst out laughing when Jon jet packed up to that next octave. The video is super cool tho.

"Fuck you, Mom and Dad and your safe lil white picket fence world. I'm going to work day shift at the strip club." 

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12451

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Seriously though, they've always sucked.  I hate how it's impossible to be in a large setting of people my age (I'm 35) with alcohol and NOT have to deal with at least one round of "Livin' On A Prayer".  And right after that, of course, will come "Don't Stop Believin''".  Not trying to drag Journey into this, but I don't know why it's impossible for older Millenials to not be obsessed with those songs while drinking.

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66BUFF

66BUFF 2562

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1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Seriously though, they've always sucked.  I hate how it's impossible to be in a large setting of people my age (I'm 35) with alcohol and NOT have to deal with at least one round of "Livin' On A Prayer".  And right after that, of course, will come "Don't Stop Believin''".  Not trying to drag Journey into this, but I don't know why it's impossible for older Millenials to not be obsessed with those songs while drinking.

Journey and REO started out as real rock bands.  Bon jovi was a chick band from day1.

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Al_4_ISU

Al_4_ISU 12451

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24 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I never watched "Glee", but isn't that the entire catalyst for the resurrection of Journey?

Maybe.  I seem to remember both of these songs getting played once a night at any bar in college, and Glee came out a few years after I graduated.  I could just be morphing all those timelines in my brain too.

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8552

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On 10/27/2020 at 7:33 AM, 66BUFF said:

Journey and REO started out as real rock bands.  Bon jovi was a chick band from day1.

This right here.

Jovi lead to every rock/metal band needing to do ballads and get radio airplay. AND they made every chick band doing a lounge act at Holiday Inns across America think they needed to become more "rock".

Jovi sucks.

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Kyle

Kyle 207

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On 10/5/2020 at 11:57 PM, Paul Wesley said:

I have Colbert on while I'm knocking out a few things on the laptop before bedtime.  Bon Jovi is the guest.  

First there's an "interview" where Colbert lobs him some softballs.  Boring.  Then he asks Bon Jovi about his writing process for this record.  This is a long-time pet peeve of mine:  an interviewer asking the songwriter to talk about how they wrote the song, squinting in the light of the writer's imagined genius, and this exchange happening immediately before the audience finds out that the song is, in fact, a banal piece of shit that is utterly devoid of artistic merit.  In fact, there's a whole show where this is the formula... it's called "Texas Music Scene with Ray Benson."

But I digress.

So Bon Jovi steps up to the mic and sings a clunker so bad that I had to look up the lyrics to see if my ears were deceiving me.  Turns out... nope.  He really does use "PPE" in a song, and starts a verse with this line:  "Although I'll keep my social distance, what the world needs is a hug."

Take my word for it:  The music is even worse than the lyrics.

God Dammit, Jon, you are single handedly killing off what very little is left of rock music.  

Jay Fucking Leno is embarrassed at what a milquetoast corporate whore you are.

Please stop.

Okay, so this is real ... I have Sirius on during the day in the office ... I thought I heard some ass-regard song about wearing masks and social distancing and vaccines ... like we're living through the fucking Bubonic Plague ... like a bad after school special ... I figured I dreamed it.

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25911

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8 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Everyone likes dead or alive and/or blaze of glory.  It doesn't change the fact that Bon Jovi sucks.

Well I don't. I don't like a single fucking one of their songs, and never did. And I bought TWO Winger albums, mind you.

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hullabelew

hullabelew 3723

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On 10/28/2020 at 10:01 AM, Liquor and Poker said:

I thought Bon Jovi was country music now.  Seriously. I see him flipping through channels and I really thought he’d seen the writing on the wall and gone Hootie and the Blowfish. 

I mean, it’s all the same.  Only the names have changed. 

Well done there.  

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Napoleon

Napoleon 8660

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19 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Everyone likes dead or alive and/or blaze of glory.  It doesn't change the fact that Bon Jovi sucks rocks!

I learned most of the words to "Livin' On A Prayer" in high school because I thought that "Shot Through The Heart" was so lame, I wanted to mock the next JBJ song...

And then I got hooked.

I never bought any of his music until getting a greatest hits CD for ~$0.01 through one of those BMG offers, but I've been a fan of his "talent" [snicker] ever since.
 

1) I recall barely being able to get "Dead or Alive" as I was passing through the mountains of West Virginia as I drove with a friend up to his college in Maine and even though the song was breaking up and coming in and out, my friend knew that we needed to wait until the end of the song before finding a clear station or putting in a CD.

2) Walking through the Temple Bar area of Dublin in February 2007, I passed an absolutely packed up with steamy windows that was a near capacity sing-along of "Livin' On A Prayer" to the decibel level that you could barely hear the music.

3) I would joke my freshman year at UT in some of my 300 to 500 person lecture classes (that should have been $20 online classes to be taken the summer before starting) that "It was all the same, only the names have changed."... and then I would say "'I was the streets, with a six-string on my back. I play for keeps, because I might not make it back.' ...who, but Jon Bon Jovi could ever have foreseen 'back' and 'back' rhyming. He's truly to poet laureate of our times, JBJ."

 

16 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

I kinda like Bon Jovi (the band) and I REALLY like Bon Jovi (the man).  He's a good dude.  Does a lot of good charity shit. 

I've seen those stories as well and he seems like a righteous dude.

He may have been a prick back in the '80s, but I can't imagine how he wouldn't have been with that much money, fame, and smoking hot p*ssy spreading for you everywhere you went.

I remember learning in the early '90s that the band was one of the highest grossing touring acts in the world, because they would go and play ALL OVER THE WORLD!

Smart man that John Bongiovi Jr.

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25914

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11 hours ago, Rimbo said:

Well I don't. I don't like a single fucking one of their songs, and never did. And I bought TWO Winger albums, mind you.

Kip Winger is no joke

 

Following the release of From the Moon to the Sun, Winger studied with Michael Kurek and composed a thirty-minute symphonic piece, "Ghosts", written for strings, piano and harp for a ballet commission. The work had its premiere with the Tucson Symphony Orchestra on November 14–15, 2009. Choreographer Christopher Wheeldon created the ballet "Ghosts", which premiered at the San Francisco Ballet on February 9, 2010, with set design by Laura Jellinek, lighting design by M.L. Geiger and costume design by Mark Zappone.[7]

Winger was nominated for an Isadora Duncan Award for Excellence in Music.[8] The ballet was a hit and was brought back for a second season in 2010.

Winger then composed a four-part work entitled C.F. Kip Winger: Conversations with Nijinsky, intended to celebrate the life of ballet dancer and choreographer Vaslav Nijinsky.[9] The album was recorded by the San Francisco Ballet Orchestra and reached the top of the Traditional Classical Chart on the Billboard music charts.[10]

C.F. Kip Winger: Conversations with Nijinsky was nominated in the Best Classical Contemporary Composition category at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards.[11][12]

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