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Hunter “Big Gun In His Pants” Biden - Mastermind of the Biden Family Crime Syndicate

Hanrahan

By Hanrahan
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HenryJames
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Loather
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Well boys, it turns out the laptop is real. I realize you liberals are generally dishonest and hypocritical, and will proudly boast that you don't care about any of this, but for that small fraction o

TexArcher
TexArcher

It's amazing how stupid 21st Century Republicans are. Fox News has actually convinced you that this story about a private citizen matters right now.  While an ex-president is being investigated f

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F250

F250 28624

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

True, but so are around 50% of gun owners. We should prosecute all of them.

I believe it is TwiceHorn that usually brings up the fact that there are so many laws out there that anyone could be charged for a crime. This seems to be one of those laws. Although saying this isn't probably a legal defense.

There are a million useless laws on the books. I'm pretty sure I've broken a dildo law at some point in my life. Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

I forgot what I was talking about.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19448

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The weird part is before you dropped it in someone else’s mailbox. You addressed it back to yourself like some kinda weird Costanza romantic overture.  And why the fuck you used Portuguese stamps, I don’t even want to know 

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31106

Posted
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2 hours ago, F250 said:

I believe it is TwiceHorn that usually brings up the fact that there are so many laws out there that anyone could be charged for a crime. This seems to be one of those laws. Although saying this isn't probably a legal defense.

There are a million useless laws on the books. I'm pretty sure I've broken a dildo law at some point in my life. Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

I forgot what I was talking about.

My main beef is with the proliferation of federal crimes, many or most of which overlap with state crimes when states have the initial and primary jurisdiction over crimes in the first place. 

But yeah, proliferation of crimes is a problem in every jurisdiction because tough on crime is so easy and reliable political fodder. 

But a side effect is that yeah there are so many damn crimes all over the place that just about anyone can probably run afoul of something. 

As mentioned previously, the problem with Hunter is not whether he's guilty, because that seems about as obvious or more so than Trump's, but whether his prosecution is selective,especially for a privileged white guy. 

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Dahobbs

Dahobbs 17410

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15 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

My main beef is with the proliferation of federal crimes, many or most of which overlap with state crimes when states have the initial and primary jurisdiction over crimes in the first place. 

But yeah, proliferation of crimes is a problem in every jurisdiction because tough on crime is so easy and reliable political fodder. 

But a side effect is that yeah there are so many damn crimes all over the place that just about anyone can probably run afoul of something. 

As mentioned previously, the problem with Hunter is not whether he's guilty, because that seems about as obvious or more so than Trump's, but whether his prosecution is selective,especially for a privileged white guy. 

I'd also say whether at least some of his alleged crimes are constitutional anymore. 

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Burt

Burt 4062

Posted
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3 hours ago, F250 said:

Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

If dropping off a used dildo in someone's mailbox is wrong, I don't wanna be right. 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19448

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

To be honest, Dildo Law is what I already assumed most Surly lawyers specialized in.

I think you're thinking of Bird Law.  

And yes, there is a bird law/dildo law joke in here somewhere concerning the Dickcissel (Spiza Americana) bird species.  As well as a number of woodpecker remarks.  

I've relied on spiritual and higher power guidance IRL from some folks on this site, both old friends and new.  But I'm genuinely starting to think we actually do live inside a computer simulation from some elevated source.  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19448

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Posted

"There was a penile, I mean penal.  Dammit, a penalty on the last play.  Automatic first blown.  First down.  I mean, blow the whistle.  Spit the balls.  I mean spot the ball.  Goddamnit.  This is why we can't have nice games!" 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 104256

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1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Brisket will be along here in a moment to defend lawyers and then post the guy with the dildo on his head in "Kentucky Fried Movie" talking about penal codes.  Just wait for it...

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

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DDD Dad

DDD Dad 14144

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14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

@NeverMarryAStripper thanks you.

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Macanudo

Macanudo 12917

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

Best work you've ever done.   And that bar is very, very low.

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'stache

'stache 21730

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Posted (edited)

The dildo laws came out of reconstruction when Honest Abe was not happy about all the fancy new smooth contraptions being invented for this particular purpose. These laws ensure that people get their rocks off the natural way, finding household items and seeing if they fit. I'm surprised there is so much confusion here, it's week one material at every law school.

image.png.4fc5ad985590469ac92b084438ac8841.png

Edited by 'stache
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Dahobbs

Dahobbs 17410

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10 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And the surly law brigade gets all pissy when we say you should fix your shit.

Captainant wasn't suggesting changes to the legal system. He was being a dick to Twicehorn for explaining him what was happening and why. Don't let your ignorance lead you to being like Trump. 

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11707

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Take it and Come.

image.thumb.png.e8ecb354f94c571f18af2f05c3bb2fe7.png

Now that’s an assault weapon.

Jesus.

I mean…. 

Hey surly lawyers, how do you sue when people use your likeness without your permission.

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Covri

Covri 6225

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Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11707

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30 minutes ago, Covri said:

Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

That shit flew at ShowBiz.

”Progress” ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

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TDunk

TDunk 590

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Covri said:

Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

Not animatronically correct. 

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31106

Posted
Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And the surly law brigade gets all pissy when we say you should fix your shit.

Actually we point out that in a lot of cases, it's not our fix, but congress' or the lege's fix and, therefore, yours. 

 

Edited by TwiceHorn
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Kyrie Eleison

Kyrie Eleison 9312

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https://www.publicnotice.co/p/comer-smirnov-russian-disinfo-biden-impeachment

How Comer and company learned to love Russian disinformation: The Biden bribery smear was obvious Kremlin bullcrap. Republicans don't care.

Quote

Republicans are taking the implosion of their claims in stride.

Jordan simply reverted to the pre-Smirnov version of the story, repeating the falsehood that Shokin was investigating Burisma at the time he was fired, and omitting to mention that it was the international consensus that the prosecutor had to go.

Comer went from saying Smirnov’s allegations are “a very crucial piece of our investigation” last May to claiming “he’s a micro piece” now. With Smirnov disgraced, Comer is now relying on the jailhouse testimony of a guy convicted of swindling Native American tribes who claims to have a draft email from Hunter Biden proving that Joe Biden was “very keen” on joining the board of a “CCP-linked company” in 2014, in the middle of his second term as vice president. (Sounds legit!)

And Grassley, who served alongside Biden for years in the Senate, has now pivoted to congratulating himself on prodding the FBI to investigate Smirnov’s claims.

“When presented with information from a source the agency so trusted, the FBI — as exposed by Senator Grassley — sat on the document for years, without performing due diligence. It’s clear that only after Senator Grassley made the FD-1023 public did the FBI investigate the allegations in the document,” he bragged to the Iowa politics blog Bleeding Heartland.

fucking Comer is carrying on this investigation exactly as you would expect from any random backfuck, red-dick KY farmer who's significantly dumber than your avg. mailman.

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