Hunter “Big Gun In His Pants” Biden - Mastermind of the Biden Family Crime Syndicate

[Neonmoon 38,130]

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Hunter appears to be quite guilty of tax and firearm crimes

True, but so are around 50% of gun owners. We should prosecute all of them.

[chainsaw 9,873]

Saul Goodman is the best criminal defense attorney

[F250 28,818]

12 minutes ago, Neonmoon said:

True, but so are around 50% of gun owners. We should prosecute all of them.

I believe it is TwiceHorn that usually brings up the fact that there are so many laws out there that anyone could be charged for a crime. This seems to be one of those laws. Although saying this isn't probably a legal defense.

There are a million useless laws on the books. I'm pretty sure I've broken a dildo law at some point in my life. Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

I forgot what I was talking about.

[YGIFS 19,452]

The weird part is before you dropped it in someone else’s mailbox. You addressed it back to yourself like some kinda weird Costanza romantic overture.  And why the fuck you used Portuguese stamps, I don’t even want to know 

[atomheartbevo 89,799]

8 hours ago, wildcat09 said:

Who could've possibly seen this coming? 

Gym Jordan. Which is probably why the Republicans would not let him testify publicly and were scared of him testifying publicly.

[TwiceHorn 31,536]

2 hours ago, F250 said:

I believe it is TwiceHorn that usually brings up the fact that there are so many laws out there that anyone could be charged for a crime. This seems to be one of those laws. Although saying this isn't probably a legal defense.

There are a million useless laws on the books. I'm pretty sure I've broken a dildo law at some point in my life. Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

I forgot what I was talking about.

My main beef is with the proliferation of federal crimes, many or most of which overlap with state crimes when states have the initial and primary jurisdiction over crimes in the first place. 

But yeah, proliferation of crimes is a problem in every jurisdiction because tough on crime is so easy and reliable political fodder. 

But a side effect is that yeah there are so many damn crimes all over the place that just about anyone can probably run afoul of something. 

As mentioned previously, the problem with Hunter is not whether he's guilty, because that seems about as obvious or more so than Trump's, but whether his prosecution is selective,especially for a privileged white guy. 

[Dahobbs 17,682]

15 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

My main beef is with the proliferation of federal crimes, many or most of which overlap with state crimes when states have the initial and primary jurisdiction over crimes in the first place. 

But yeah, proliferation of crimes is a problem in every jurisdiction because tough on crime is so easy and reliable political fodder. 

But a side effect is that yeah there are so many damn crimes all over the place that just about anyone can probably run afoul of something. 

As mentioned previously, the problem with Hunter is not whether he's guilty, because that seems about as obvious or more so than Trump's, but whether his prosecution is selective,especially for a privileged white guy. 

I'd also say whether at least some of his alleged crimes are constitutional anymore. 

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

I have broken every dildo law. 

[Burt 4,092]

3 hours ago, F250 said:

Is it illegal to drop off an exposed used dildo in someone's mailbox?

If dropping off a used dildo in someone's mailbox is wrong, I don't wanna be right. 

[Biff Tannen 45,742]

48 minutes ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

I have broken every dildo law. 

This is my aspiration.

[YGIFS 19,452]

“Including assault with a concrete dildo!”

[aggie08 21,531]

To be honest, Dildo Law is what I already assumed most Surly lawyers specialized in.

[YGIFS 19,452]

4 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

To be honest, Dildo Law is what I already assumed most Surly lawyers specialized in.

I think you're thinking of Bird Law.  

And yes, there is a bird law/dildo law joke in here somewhere concerning the Dickcissel (Spiza Americana) bird species.  As well as a number of woodpecker remarks.  

I've relied on spiritual and higher power guidance IRL from some folks on this site, both old friends and new.  But I'm genuinely starting to think we actually do live inside a computer simulation from some elevated source.  

[TwiceHorn 31,536]

9 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

To be honest, Dildo Law is what I already assumed most Surly lawyers specialized in.

https://txpenalcode.com/sec-43-23/

Read up, my dude. I was taught this by one George Dix,as likely were several of the lawdogs round here. RiP, professor. 

Edited February 22 by TwiceHorn

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

penal code (giggles) 

[WhatTheBuck 28,798]

Heh heh…penal. 

[YGIFS 19,452]

Brisket will be along here in a moment to defend lawyers and then post the guy with the dildo on his head in "Kentucky Fried Movie" talking about penal codes.  Just wait for it...

[Pato del Muerto 52,600]

[YGIFS 19,452]

"There was a penile, I mean penal.  Dammit, a penalty on the last play.  Automatic first blown.  First down.  I mean, blow the whistle.  Spit the balls.  I mean spot the ball.  Goddamnit.  This is why we can't have nice games!" 

[Brisketexan 105,337]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

Brisket will be along here in a moment to defend lawyers and then post the guy with the dildo on his head in "Kentucky Fried Movie" talking about penal codes.  Just wait for it...

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

[YGIFS 19,452]

Dildo.  Overlaid.  Landing Strip.  

I mean there's like a dozen jokes I could go with here.  

[Kel Varnsen 8,541]

[DDD Dad 14,351]

14 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

@NeverMarryAStripper thanks you.

[Macanudo 13,012]

15 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I did not and do not specialize in dildo law.

But I AM the reason that there is a strip club at the location of The Landing Strip (now called "Maximus," I think).  As a young law clerk, I worked part-time at a firm that was looking into where the Red Rose (displaced by Ben White expansion) could move.  I had to prepare an analysis of the regulatory overlay of three potential locations.  The one by the airport had the best mix of regulations (or non-regulations).  I recommended it, they took my advice and opened a scrip club there.

You're welcome.

Best work you've ever done.   And that bar is very, very low.

[Pato del Muerto 52,600]

11 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I went there after this movie to see it in person.  Nina Hartley was headlining. 

['stache 21,866]

The dildo laws came out of reconstruction when Honest Abe was not happy about all the fancy new smooth contraptions being invented for this particular purpose. These laws ensure that people get their rocks off the natural way, finding household items and seeing if they fit. I'm surprised there is so much confusion here, it's week one material at every law school.

Edited February 22 by 'stache

[Dnaguy 12,061]

7 hours ago, YGIFS said:

“Including assault with a concrete dildo!”

Concrete Dildo Assault could be a pretty slick mainstream metal band.

[Macanudo 13,012]

22 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Concrete Dildo Assault could be a pretty slick mainstream metal band.

Concrete Dildo Assault Brigade would be better.  They could open for Black Flag.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,224]

3 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

penal code (giggles) 

 

3 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Heh heh…penal. 

Professor Dix

[Fudge Nuggets 19,224]

20 hours ago, Dahobbs said:

Stop being an asshole. @TwiceHorn doesn't make the law. He is just explaining how our system currently works to you. 

And the surly law brigade gets all pissy when we say you should fix your shit.

[Dahobbs 17,682]

10 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And the surly law brigade gets all pissy when we say you should fix your shit.

Captainant wasn't suggesting changes to the legal system. He was being a dick to Twicehorn for explaining him what was happening and why. Don't let your ignorance lead you to being like Trump. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,224]

4 minutes ago, Dahobbs said:

Captainant wasn't suggesting changes to the legal system. He was being a dick to Twicehorn for explaining him what was happening and why. Don't let your ignorance lead you to being like Trump. 

[Longhorn_Fan68 33,899]

dong talk not going away in the Hunter Biden thread. good. haha

[Hugo Stiglitz 23,367]

 

[David Dennison 18,946]

6 hours ago, Kel Varnsen said:

[C-Man 27,262]

5 hours ago, Dnaguy said:

Concrete Dildo Assault could be a pretty slick mainstream metal band.

[YGIFS 19,452]

What is this?  Some kinda bust?  

[Dnaguy 12,061]

20 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Ha!

Man I haven’t watched the Naked Gun in so long. 
 

… Too long

['stache 21,866]

Take it and Come.

[Dnaguy 12,061]

4 minutes ago, 'stache said:

Take it and Come.

Now that’s an assault weapon.

Jesus.

I mean…. 

Hey surly lawyers, how do you sue when people use your likeness without your permission.

['stache 21,866]

She must work out.

[Covri 6,253]

Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

[Dnaguy 12,061]

30 minutes ago, Covri said:

Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

That shit flew at ShowBiz.

”Progress” ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

[TDunk 590]

1 hour ago, Covri said:

Oh sure it’s empowering when she holds a giant black dildo in the air, but when I do it it’s “weird” and “not appropriate at Chuck E. Cheese.”

Not animatronically correct. 

[YGIFS 19,452]

6 hours ago, 'stache said:

Take it and Come.

She’s just being politically engaged.  White Holes.  Black Polls.  

[HenryJames 66,171]

https://newrepublic.com/post/179200/ken-buck-massive-allegation-comer-jordan-smirnov-biden

[TwiceHorn 31,536]

18 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And the surly law brigade gets all pissy when we say you should fix your shit.

Actually we point out that in a lot of cases, it's not our fix, but congress' or the lege's fix and, therefore, yours. 

 

Edited February 23 by TwiceHorn

[Fudge Nuggets 19,224]

5 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Actually we point out that in a lot of cases, it's not our fix, but congress' or the lege's fix and, therefore, yours. 

 

Propose something.  I'll vote for it.

[Dnaguy 12,061]

16 hours ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

dong talk not going away in the Hunter Biden thread. good. haha

No hesitation. No Surrender. No man left behind.
 

[Kyrie Eleison 9,312]

https://www.publicnotice.co/p/comer-smirnov-russian-disinfo-biden-impeachment

How Comer and company learned to love Russian disinformation: The Biden bribery smear was obvious Kremlin bullcrap. Republicans don't care.

Quote

Republicans are taking the implosion of their claims in stride.

Jordan simply reverted to the pre-Smirnov version of the story, repeating the falsehood that Shokin was investigating Burisma at the time he was fired, and omitting to mention that it was the international consensus that the prosecutor had to go.

Comer went from saying Smirnov’s allegations are “a very crucial piece of our investigation” last May to claiming “he’s a micro piece” now. With Smirnov disgraced, Comer is now relying on the jailhouse testimony of a guy convicted of swindling Native American tribes who claims to have a draft email from Hunter Biden proving that Joe Biden was “very keen” on joining the board of a “CCP-linked company” in 2014, in the middle of his second term as vice president. (Sounds legit!)

And Grassley, who served alongside Biden for years in the Senate, has now pivoted to congratulating himself on prodding the FBI to investigate Smirnov’s claims.

“When presented with information from a source the agency so trusted, the FBI — as exposed by Senator Grassley — sat on the document for years, without performing due diligence. It’s clear that only after Senator Grassley made the FD-1023 public did the FBI investigate the allegations in the document,” he bragged to the Iowa politics blog Bleeding Heartland.

fucking Comer is carrying on this investigation exactly as you would expect from any random backfuck, red-dick KY farmer who's significantly dumber than your avg. mailman.