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Official bitch about your family 2020 holidays edition

GhostOfTomJoad

By GhostOfTomJoad
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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4448

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said:

So I am very proud of myself.

 

2 weeks ago i was making plans to visit my brother and his family up in Allen. i've done it every year since my niece was born in 2010.  

Those plans hit a snag when Brother dropped this bomb outta the blue... our parents are going to visit and stay with him... 

Normally not the end of the world... except my parents have gone full on conspiracy wackos since the election.   Like out of the god damned blue hyper-nutso. 

I immediately tell Bro, I am not coming.   

Some complaints and whines about my nieces missing me. but I didnt want to deal with the crazy.

 

at 2p today, my brother who NEVER calls me, calls me from his own home, hiding in his bathroom because he had just had a full on shouting match fight with Dad over the most basic political question....  He's convinced the parents are insane and all I can do is chuckle...

Thats the kind of fun I want nothing to do with.

Im quite happy looking like the grinch and staying home thank you very much. .

Hey - I live in Allen and have a couple of Beto for Senator signs left. Want me to go stick them in your brothers front yard???

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OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, marriedup said:

Looking for more ideas for grandma bingo card

gma bingo.jpg

Subtly (or not so subtly) hints you drink too much

COVID is fake. 
Chinese are to blame for COVID 

vaccines are bad

united Soviet socialist california

ill miss Alex trebeks reverse mortgage commercials

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9323

Posted
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That's brilliant. Don't know how old your gramma is so some might not apply, but...

Begins a story with "back in the depression WE wouldn't dare waste" while throwing shade on your habits.

Sly, disparaging comment about someone's wardrobe or appearance.

We cooked everything in lard and we weren't fat like kids today.

Disgusted by all the sex on TV nowadays.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13509

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

That's brilliant. Don't know how old your gramma is so some might not apply, but...

Begins a story with "back in the depression WE wouldn't dare waste" while throwing shade on your habits.

Sly, disparaging comment about someone's wardrobe or appearance.

We cooked everything in lard and we weren't fat like kids today.

Disgusted by all the sex on TV nowadays.

Someone quoting the Depression is really getting up there in age. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

I'm still in deep shit with the wife for telling a bunch of poorly-versed Catholics from middle America that Jesus was in fact a Jew who spent a chunk of his formative years near modern day Jordan and Syria.  Their non-kosher ham seems to take the edge off the shock of it all each year.  

I told them I'd convert to their Church if they could find a clip of their False Messiah saying "May God Bless You...And May God Bless the United States of America." 

You know...that really hard to find phrase that's never been uttered on TV except for the 37,000 times it's been said before.  Many times, many ways...

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Backpayne

Backpayne 20

Posted
Posted

This Christmas will be relatively boring. I won't be going "home" to see my family as my g-ma is dying (nurse said within 2-3 days) and my oldest sister (47 yrs old) is battling Stage 4 Colon Cancer and I will not risk giving her anything.  She is hoping to make it to see her daughter graduate HS in May, so keeping her as healthy as possible is of utmost importance.

We will be going to my in-laws who I love and are very normal,  but my SIL is coming, with her two annoying chihuahuas, and she drives me nuts.  She drives my wife nuts, too, which makes me feel better.

 

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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40296

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Backpayne said:

This Christmas will be relatively boring. I won't be going "home" to see my family as my g-ma is dying (nurse said within 2-3 days) and my oldest sister (47 yrs old) is battling Stage 4 Colon Cancer and I will not risk giving her anything.  She is hoping to make it to see her daughter graduate HS in May, so keeping her as healthy as possible is of utmost importance.

We will be going to my in-laws who I love and are very normal,  but my SIL is coming, with her two annoying chihuahuas, and she drives me nuts.  She drives my wife nuts, too, which makes me feel better.

 

Leave the chihuahuas out in the back yard unsupervised. The hawks will get em. Problem solved! 

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Family fine.

 

Stupid motherfuckers at work trying be first with Christmas wishes  can go to hell.  Same thing happened on Thanksgiving.

 

I truly don't get it. Who gives a fuck?  We get 2 days off a year, total shutdown, and you want to ruin it by starting our days with texts from work.  Gotdammit.

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9323

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Sister came over last night for a feast. Reverse seared prime rib was perfect. Both my sis and my wife got a bit weepy as we gathered round the bonfire on the patio sipping wine. Mostly thankful if not happy tears, but they're both processing some heavy shit these days.

Been up since 5:30 sipping coffee & listening to music by the fire. Peace, y'all.

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ztejas

ztejas 43411

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Sister came over last night for a feast. Reverse seared prime rib was perfect. Both my sis and my wife got a bit weepy as we gathered round the bonfire on the patio sipping wine. Mostly thankful if not happy tears, but they're both processing some heavy shit these days.

Been up since 5:30 sipping coffee & listening to music by the fire. Peace, y'all.

200.gif

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30185

Posted
Posted
Sister came over last night for a feast. Reverse seared prime rib was perfect. Both my sis and my wife got a bit weepy as we gathered round the bonfire on the patio sipping wine. Mostly thankful if not happy tears, but they're both processing some heavy shit these days.

Been up since 5:30 sipping coffee & listening to music by the fire. Peace, y'all.

giphy.gif
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After irth

After irth 1243

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Sister came over last night for a feast. Reverse seared prime rib was perfect. Both my sis and my wife got a bit weepy as we gathered round the bonfire on the patio sipping wine. Mostly thankful if not happy tears, but they're both processing some heavy shit these days.

Been up since 5:30 sipping coffee & listening to music by the fire. Peace, y'all.

I did the same thing at 5am. Some quiet tunes, some excellent coffee, and flipped through a new book. Let my wife (no pics) sleep in for a change. 

It was freakin’ glorious. 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52486

Posted
Posted (edited)

I guess my 90 year old mother in law is making the rounds today to 3 of her kids’ houses, two of which practice zero safety measures for the fake virus that will go away once the election is over., including several people who were on airplanes in the past week. 
 

being a thousand miles away from any family has drawbacks, no free babysitting and shit like that, but man it’s worth it just for the holiday season. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54208

Posted
Posted

I accidentally sabotaged the in-law family Zoom call today.  Somehow, the subject of my daughter's senior design project came up and she tried to explain what she did.  The school actually did a Youtube video about it, so I found it on youtube and posted the link in Chat, and told them to check it out.  Both brother- and mother-in-law immediately clicked on the link and started playing it; bil actually somehow opened it up playing in three different windows, so the rest of us sat there for several minutes listening to this playing in staggered double stereo.  And then when it was over, it skipped to the next video on the channel for mil.

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luke duke

luke duke 6412

Posted
Posted
My MIL does the same thing.  She comes from some weird subculture that thinks more than 60 seconds of silence at any given time is too much.  She also throws out tons of rhetorical questions.
That team's colors sure are blue, aren't they?
Do you think the red team will win?
What do you think that player is thinking about?
Etc.
 


My wife only has a brother. Did the two of you hook up and I didn’t know about it?
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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9323

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14 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:


So you’re worried he’s buying out all the toilet paper, super large peanut butter jars and potable water at HEB?

I'm more concerned that apparently Brisket and CHIEF (hey, did you know his name is CHIEF? Because it's totally CHIEF) shop at my HEB. I mean, I knew it was full of assholes but now I'm gonna have to try and figure out who's who when I'm there.

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CHIEF

CHIEF 5078

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I'm more concerned that apparently Brisket and CHIEF (hey, did you know his name is CHIEF? Because it's totally CHIEF) shop at my HEB. I mean, I knew it was full of assholes but now I'm gonna have to try and figure out who's who when I'm there.

Don't worry, it's neither of our's primary HEB. So, much less scum and villainy not having us two cleptos there.

CHIEF

Edited by CHIEF
cleptos, we like to shoplift
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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I guess my 90 year old mother in law is making the rounds today to 3 of her kids’ houses, two of which practice zero safety measures for the fake virus that will go away once the election is over., including several people who were on airplanes in the past week. 
 

being a thousand miles away from any family has drawbacks, no free babysitting and shit like that, but man it’s worth it just for the holiday season. 

Maybe she’d rather risk a 1/10 chance at death than not live her life normally at that age?  Probably wouldn’t be my choice at that age but I respect it and don’t think it’s “wrong” for anyone to choose differently than I think I would. 

only family drama is my FIL got sick on the 24th so my in-laws missed, and we will have to do Xmas some other time with them. Which is sad for him as he loves Xmas and has had a rough year In 2020 and has wrist surgery scheduled for 1/1/21 so far. They’ve got some reasons to be concerned if

they get the Rona so they’ve been living as shut ins for 9 months. Hope they are first on the vaccine list. 

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13509

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Maybe she’d rather risk a 1/10 chance at death than not live her life normally at that age?  Probably wouldn’t be my choice at that age but I respect it and don’t think it’s “wrong” for anyone to choose differently than I think I would. 
 

I read the criticism towards the selfish younger people who care more about their everyday lives and not protecting their elderly relatives they will see at Xmas. Maybe just chill on going out for a week heading into Xmas, and get tested on Xmas eve day?

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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10 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I read the criticism towards the selfish younger people who care more about their everyday lives and not protecting their elderly relatives they will see at Xmas. Maybe just chill on going out for a week heading into Xmas, and get tested on Xmas eve day?

Ok. Maybe so. Wasn’t going I read it but open to interpretation I guess. 

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millhouse

millhouse 2603

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I accidentally sabotaged the in-law family Zoom call today.  Somehow, the subject of my daughter's senior design project came up and she tried to explain what she did.  The school actually did a Youtube video about it, so I found it on youtube and posted the link in Chat, and told them to check it out.  Both brother- and mother-in-law immediately clicked on the link and started playing it; bil actually somehow opened it up playing in three different windows, so the rest of us sat there for several minutes listening to this playing in staggered double stereo.  And then when it was over, it skipped to the next video on the channel for mil.

Damn was thinking this was going down a "NowThis" route with a link to besthugecocks shared via zoom to the whole family

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royiv

royiv 9262

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Parliament said:

I'll give a pass to the olds who say, "damn the torpedoes." Mental health is important too.

As long as they don’t clog up the ICU on their way out. Just die at home and don’t infect others. Your take is a dumb one. Individual actions have ramifications beyond the individual.

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30185

Posted
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only family drama is my FIL got sick on the 24th so my in-laws missed, and we will have to do Xmas some other time with them. Which is sad for him as he loves Xmas and has had a rough year In 2020 and has wrist surgery scheduled for 1/1/21 so far.

Thoughts and prayers. I hope his 2021 fapping is back to pre-injury form.
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