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Litmus Tests for Stupidity

TrashMaster G

By TrashMaster G
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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17670

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I'm not sure if this belongs on this board or is better-suited for another, but this seems right. 

1.       The earth is flat.

2.       The moon landing was faked.

3.       9/11 was an inside job.

4.       The 2020 US Presidential election was stolen.

5.       Vaccines cause autism.

 

These are my litmus tests for knowing if I am dealing with an idiot.  If you believe any one of those statements is true, then you are absolutely lumped-in with the mouth-breathing troglodytes that believe any of the others.  Number 4 is relevant now and number 5 is about to become really relevant as the world attempts to put Covid-19 back into the box from whence it came.

If you, like me, look at each of those items and wonder to yourself, "Just how dumb do you have to be to believe THAT?" then congratulations, you are a reasonably intelligent human.  If not, I implore you to stay inside, stay offline and not inflict yourself upon the world in any way. 

And please, don't reproduce. You're not going to immunize your children anyway and odds are that IF they grow up, they will hate you for it.

Happy Friday the 13th!

 

 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105546

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5 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

Anybody who thinks a paper mask will save you from a virus.

Is this how this thread works?

How about "anybody who thinks that masks don't do anything to prevent the transmission of pathogens, in spite of medical science mandating their usage in the operating field for over 100 years?"  THAT is how this thread works.

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Guest Lobo

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Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Cincinnati-Chili_EXPS_TOHAM20_11740_E11_

 

Put two googly eyes on that and you got yourself a Gritty.  \

Take the eyes off, throw that mess in a pot with some bone broth and you brutha...you got yourself a stew! 

 

Also-Lat 22.........you do know that a "paper mask" has never been endorsed to reduce transmission of viral spread, right?  You seem kinda slow and woefully unsuccessful in life so I'm picturing you literally ripping a piece of notebook paper out of a binder and trying to fashion it around your head.  And then mouthbreathing moisture right through it and wondering why it's not helping save the nation.  

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Guest Lobo

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^

well yeah, 'cause a coup, by definition, is carried out by an outside-of-power entity or group.  Are you saying people are stupid for thinking the current administration could carry out a coup because they are already the administration or that such a person would fail the stupid litmus test because the current administration couldn't possibly carry out a coup?  I'm confused.  

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17670

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2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

^

well yeah, 'cause a coup, by definition, is carried out by an outside-of-power entity or group.  Are you saying people are stupid for thinking the current administration could carry out a coup because they are already the administration or that such a person would fail the stupid litmus test because the current administration couldn't possibly carry out a coup?  I'm confused.  

The current administration has a Constitutionally-prescribed expiration date that is about two months away.  Any efforts to extend their stay in power beyond that date could legitimately be characterized as attempting to act out a coup.

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Guest Lobo

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Then anyone left without an appropriately cleared ID badge on 20 January at 1201hrs-EST can either be escorted off premise, arrested, or shot on sight.  

I'll host the mother fucking fantasy draft of fantasy drafts that day if any of you Trumpers wanna play.  Drinks on me, Chili's...the nice one.  

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2140

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Lobo said:

Then anyone left without an appropriately cleared ID badge on 20 January at 1201hrs-EST can either be escorted off premises of shot on sight.  

I'll host the mother fucking fantasy draft of a the mother fucking ages that day if any of you Trumpers wanna play.  Drinks on me, Chili's...the nice one.  

There's a nice Chili's?

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Guest Lobo

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3 minutes ago, workswithseed said:

There's a nice Chili's?

Yeah, the one we were gonna go party at after we seized the Capitol/Federal Building.  'Member?  I member.  

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20 minutes ago, scottsins said:


People who still argue that the McDonald’s lawsuit was frivolous bullshit, despite reality.

Protect the people from themselves!!!

 

IDGAF about the lawsuit, but the whole damned thing is dumb as hell.   Too many moving parts on a coffee cup...

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ztejas

ztejas 43726

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6 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

3.       9/11 was an inside job.

I'm not sure I'd say it was an inside job - but I actually think one of my litmus tests is if you wholly beleive in the media and DoD narrative presented. It also irritates me when people lump it in with things like flat earth and "the moon landing didn't happen" because the level of idiocy required to believe the latter is not even comparable.

(And no I have no interest in getting into a 9/11 conspiracy debate on this thread so save the comments and beleive what you want)

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27 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I'm not sure I'd say it was an inside job - but I actually think one of my litmus tests is if you wholly beleive in the media and DoD narrative presented. It also irritates me when people lump it in with things like flat earth and "the moon landing didn't happen" because the level of idiocy required to believe the latter is not even comparable.

(And no I have no interest in getting into a 9/11 conspiracy debate on this thread so save the comments and beleive what you want)

The part of the 9/11 conspiracy theorists that never made sense to me is that they ignore the most obvious aspect.  Those four airplanes crashed into those four places.  All those people are gone.  All of that happened.  Now you can get into why it happened or what could have gone different, but I don't think there's all but a few dozen lunatics that at least acknowledge those two tall buildings aren't there anymore, there was a hole in the Pentagon for anyone who cared to go see it, and there was a group of people who used to be alive and now they aren't because they burst into flames in a Pennsylvania field. 

But the thing they never talk about is the Nextdoor.com Effect.  In these apartment buildings near these flight training centers, in 2001...a black guy couldn't ask to train on small equipment or roll up in a 1988 Fort Tempo without arousing suspicion...but 20 hard-core, akbar-chanting swarthy mutha-fuckas lived and trained for months and months and months and nobody dropped one dime of concern.  Nothing reached higher up than the property management team, let alone the FBI.  But that never gets talked about.  All we ever hear from these idiots is how jet fuel can't burn the WTC towers.  That's how I know the 9/11 conspiracy theorists are full of shit.  They try to explain an engineering conspiracy that isn't there when the most obvious thing in the world is staring them right in the face.  Apartment buildings that didn't rent to Jews in South Florida suddenly rent to Muslims named "Josh" & "Trevor" who pay every month on time, in cash, without eye contact, and never asked to have the fucking cable turned on.  We are the dumbest fucking country sometimes.  

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Helobious

Helobious 9498

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2 minutes ago, Lobo said:

The part of the 9/11 conspiracy theorists that never made sense to me is that they ignore the most obvious aspect.  Those four airplanes crashed into those four places.  All those people are gone.  All of that happened.  Now you can get into why it happened or what could have gone different, but I don't think there's all but a few dozen lunatics that at least acknowledge those two tall buildings aren't there anymore, there was a hole in the Pentagon for anyone who cared to go see it, and there was a group of people who used to be alive and now they aren't because they burst into flames in a Pennsylvania field. 

But the thing they never talk about is the Nextdoor.com Effect.  In these apartment buildings near these flight training centers, in 2001...a black guy couldn't ask to train on small equipment or roll up in a 1988 Fort Tempo without arousing suspicion...but 20 hard-core, akbar-chanting swarthy mutha-fuckas lived and trained for months and months and months and nobody dropped one dime of concern.  Nothing reached higher up than the property management team, let alone the FBI.  But that never gets talked about.  All we ever hear from these idiots is how jet fuel can't burn the WTC towers.  That's how I know the 9/11 conspiracy theorists are full of shit.  They try to explain an engineering conspiracy that isn't there when the most obvious thing in the world is staring them right in the face.  Apartment buildings that didn't rent to Jews in South Florida suddenly rent to Muslims named "Josh" & "Trevor" who pay every month on time, in cash, without eye contact, and never asked to have the fucking cable turned on.  We are the dumbest fucking country sometimes.  

One of the most important criteria that Al Queda used when selecting the hijackers was how “Westernized” they were,. Most of them were educated and had lived in Western Europe or the US prior to being chosen. 

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staboner

staboner 5013

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3 hours ago, workswithseed said:

11. The current administration is acting out a coup. 

666. Oklahoma is more than ok.

11.5 folks still thinking words and actions outside their nuclear family are worthless 

and backwards trigger themselves in the DT soft place in perpetuity 

ya'll motherfuckers need a jesus

CaringRichGopher-max-1mb.gif

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89993

Posted
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7 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

       Vaccines cause autism.

I think people still remember the horror stories of the Thalidomide shit, or rather stories their parents passed down.  Or they are stupid.  WhyNotboth.gif. Or they are looking for an explanation for something that is a result of "sometimes shit just happens", maybe they feel guilty, or they want to blame someone or something.

6 hours ago, slorch said:

8. Shaming the Astros renewed the purity of baseball.

YES....

5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

How about "anybody who thinks that masks don't do anything to prevent the transmission of pathogens, in spite of medical science mandating their usage in the operating field for over 100 years?"  THAT is how this thread works.

Drives me bonkers.

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Cody2422

Cody2422 279

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6.  Someone who posts on a message board that apparently knows unequivocally certain things that could be argued have a political slant to them.

7.  someone who says if you disagree with said “points” you’re a mouth breather.  
 

stay in your bubble dude, the world is a scary place.  Keep refreshing your Facebook page too counting your likes.

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elfenix

elfenix 34379

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1 hour ago, ztejas said:

I'm not sure I'd say it was an inside job - but I actually think one of my litmus tests is if you wholly beleive in the media and DoD narrative presented. It also irritates me when people lump it in with things like flat earth and "the moon landing didn't happen" because the level of idiocy required to believe the latter is not even comparable.

(And no I have no interest in getting into a 9/11 conspiracy debate on this thread so save the comments and beleive what you want)

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17670

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18 minutes ago, Cody2422 said:

6.  Someone who posts on a message board that apparently knows unequivocally certain things that could be argued have a political slant to them.

7.  someone who says if you disagree with said “points” you’re a mouth breather.  
 

stay in your bubble dude, the world is a scary place.  Keep refreshing your Facebook page too counting your likes.

So, I take that to meant you are saying you agree with at least one of the original five statements.

Good to know.

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89993

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7 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

I'm not sure if this belongs on this board or is better-suited for another, but this seems right. 

  1.        The earth is flat.
  2.        The moon landing was faked.
  3.        9/11 was an inside job.

That's an interesting grouping of topics that kind of evolves. Flat Earthers - harmless uncles that maybe didn't do well in school or hyper-fixated on some old stories that didn't hold up over time.  A screw loose and really ignorant, because it would require millions, tens of millions of people, maybe a lot more, to be in on the conspiracy, but it's not harming anybody.  Kinda like the old Art Bell crowd.  Mostly harmless, very entertaining, fun to listen to. Yeah, definitely veering into stupid or ignorant depending on the person.  At least with the Art Bell stuff, it was entertaining, and if you were into sci-fi, you could imagine certain things (although I never could imagine an alien civilization mastering light speed, and then coming to Earth just to shove stuff up our asses, not my kink, but I'm sure Lobo has a few thoughts on alien sodomy).

Flat Earth: Stupid, yes (or ignorant depending on how you view it), harmless, yes, entertaining, yes.

Lunar landing was faked crowd - shit starts getting a little sinister from the very start.  This isn't some "I think the Earth is flat, and it's a conspiracy to keep us from sailing or flying off of it" or whatever.  This is a group of people that think NASA was able, with 1960s technology, to fake multiple Lunar landings.  It requires tens of thousands of highly-educated people to be in on this conspiracy, along with the media, and the belief that NASA/government was having people murdered to keep them from spilling the beans.  More importantly, it requires that the Soviet Union was in on the conspiracy, and willing to allow the US to reap all the glory, after the Soviets had beat our pants off getting folks into space.  This could be a gateway for crazier shit, although most seem to be of the opinion that the US had to fake it simply because they couldn't make it.

Lunar Landing was Faked:  Stupid, yes, harmless, not-so-much, entertaining, somewhat, depending on who is pushing it (like say Joe Rogan).  UT's McDonald Observatory in West Texas still shoots lasers at a sensor left on the moon by Apollo 11 to measure distance, so you know, it's actual proof on a weekly or monthly basis.

Now we are getting into the 9/11 was faked crowd.  And honestly, there's probably a shit-ton of overlap with those Qanon fucks.  This is absolutely sinister from the very start.  This implies that Bush and the governor murdered thousands of Americans for whatever reason.  The reason doesn't even matter, it's about deliberate murder of thousands of folks, and it involves tens of thousands, maybe more, who are in on the conspiracy.

9/11 inside job:  Fucking Stupid.  Not Harmless.  Not Entertaining.

I would toss the Qanon into that 9/11 mix.  When I see somebody doing the "Oh no, I don't believe in it, I'm just asking questions" or they are pushing the Qanon slogans/symbols, I know they are stupid.  They didn't stumble upon those slogans and symbols by accident.  They are asking questions of everybody except the people behind the Q stuff, which is incredibly stupid.

The problem with a lot of these conspiracy theories, and why only stupid people buy into them, is that they require a massive amount of people to remain silent.  Shit, we had an intern give a President a blowjob in the White House, and only the two of them knew about it, and it still leaked out.  We have companies that go through massive amounts of money and resources trying to keep product launches secret, and it still leaks out.  We have movies that haven't even been released to theaters yet, or video games that aren't for sale yet, being leaked in advance (although sometimes this is done purposely by the folks running things, but that's for another thread).

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89993

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7 hours ago, BlueGreySky said:

10. The holocaust is a hoax.

This is a good sign somebody is stupid.  Unlike a lot of other conspiracy theories, but much like the 9/11 crap, I have yet to hear an intelligent person, or even semi-intelligent person, make a solid case that it was a hoax.

One time my Qanon-believing in-law and her bf actually didn't quite deny it, but said that there should be a lot of questions about whether it was all that big or whether it really hurt the Jews all that much.  I pointed out to her that mutual acquaintances of ours, that we both knew in high school, and still know, that their grandmother was a Holocaust survivor and still collected payments from the German government as a result, up until her death.  That millions of people simply vanished, as evidenced by post-war census taking.  I also pointed out to her that the German government has never, ever actually denied it.  And that's not getting into the hundreds of thousands of Allied troops who directly liberated those camps and saw things first-hand, and heard first-hand accounts from the survivors.

Other theories can be entertaining, and maybe even not that stupid, but just ignorant or whimsical, but the Holocaust is a hoax crowd, that is 100% pure, unadulterated stupid.  The kind of stupid that should have them wearing some kind of sign on their chest, that shows everybody else that they are stupid, that lets employers know not to hire them, and stores not to allow them entry.

Wait, what were we talking about again?

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