Gross shit from when you were a kid

[austingirl 2,191]

I'm generally not picky but the two foods I detest are mayo and olives. When I was a kid, my dad's favorite sandwich was olive loaf on Wonder bread with a generous smear of mayo. Which still makes me want to hurk just reading about it. What about you?

[LoneStarBiker 145]

Beets, from a can. Turrible. 

[Braff Zacklin 13,584]

Mayo is for degenerates who hate themselves and life. Not sure how anyone can detest olives, though.

My mother made the worst spaghetti. The sauce was from an old family recipe and she was very proud of it, but honestly, all you could taste was oregano. Just ... oregano.

To this day, it is difficult for me to eat spaghetti, and that's a shame because there are lots of great spaghettis out there.

[austingirl 2,191]

Oh yes, asparagus from a can. So, so slimy.

[LoneStarBiker 145]

Sprouts too, might as well go out in the yard and eat some grass with some dirt mixed in for the grittiness. 

[Assman 1,830]

I pretty much can't eat any vegetables today because they were forced down my throat as a kid (peas, green beans, corn, carrots, broccoli, spinach, etc).  My extent of eating vegetables is adding lettuce to my tacos at Fuzzy's or eating a baked potato with my steak.

[Mo Horn 8,848]

Peas from a can.  I thought that's how vegetables were supposed to taste. 

[deadshank 24,653]

7 hours ago, austingirl said:

I'm generally not picky but the two foods I detest are mayo and olives. When I was a kid, my dad's favorite sandwich was olive loaf on Wonder bread with a generous smear of mayo. Which still makes me want to hurk just reading about it. What about you?

I had no idea my dad sired a daughter.  

[heso 2,801]

Ranch dressing, pickles, pepper jelly. 

For a period of my childhood my punishment for swearing was eating pepper jelly because I hated it so much. 

Ive hated ranch dressing since I worked in a restaurant and had to spray out the big salad dressing buckets and the hot ranch dressing mist would almost make me gag every time. 

Pickles have ruined countless sandwiches and piles of French fries over the years. “Oh you want a delicious burger and fries? Let me just throw this dripping pickle spear on the plate so the juice soaks into the bun and fries. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

[HouTex 1,867]

Oh yes, asparagus from a can. So, so slimy.

This and canned peas. And my mother over cooked all vegetables--even the rare stuff that was fresh from a local farm. It wasn't until I went to UT that I learned how vegetables were supposed to be cooked.

[utee94 15,825]

Jello "salads" like this one. They were a staple at 70s gatherings.

 

[Al_4_ISU 12,464]

My mom tried to make homemade mac and cheese once.  It got all curdled and disgusting.  It was bad.

My dad wouldn't let any food get wasted, and he was making us eat it for lunch.  My brother spit it up on his plate in a fake demonstration of how disgusted he was, and my dad made him eat the regurgitated mac and cheese, which made him almost legitimately puke.

[smuggs 9,353]

Hominy corn.

Pale, swollen, zombified Hominy corn.

[Dewey 3,286]

I haven't thought about olive loaf in a longtime, I'll have to look for it at the store.

As for gross foods, my dear mother liked to get recipe ideas from the local paper, one such recipe was to wrap fish in foil and cook in the dishwasher. She did this several times before my father led the coup and we were able to overthrow her.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

[Eastwood 4,394]

My grandfather smears peanut butter and mayo on saltine crackers for lunch. Don't know how he discovered that combo, but he grew up poor so it probably had to do with eating whatever was available.

[futureman 22,468]

1 hour ago, Dewey said:

 one such recipe was to wrap fish in foil and cook in the dishwasher.
 

wut

[futureman 22,468]

53 minutes ago, Eastwood said:

My grandfather smears peanut butter and mayo on saltine crackers for lunch. Don't know how he discovered that combo, but he grew up poor so it probably had to do with eating whatever was available.

go check out the mayo on your hot dog thread.  this is being discussed. 

[The Maestro 758]

Potted meats of several varieties.  I can't believe I ever ate that shit.

[kmac30 416]

My grandfather smears peanut butter and mayo on saltine crackers for lunch. Don't know how he discovered that combo, but he grew up poor so it probably had to do with eating whatever was available.

I grew up eating (and still do) peanut butter and miracle whip sandwiches on white bread. I like to dip Fritos in the PB then into the MW. Or just use the knife.

My mom made bologna boats. Works like this: slices of bologna on a cookie sheet and put them in the oven. No clue what heat, but they curl up and make a bowl. Then she’d put white rice. Voila. Bologna boats. For some reason my wife is fascinated by the thought of this.

[Reagan1k 3,024]

1 hour ago, Dewey said:

I haven't thought about olive loaf in a longtime, I'll have to look for it at the store.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 

Olive Loaf was / is a longtime staple at our hunting camp.  Olive Loaf on white with mayo paired with Fritos and bean dip out of the can.

That's living.....

[phdhorn 6,224]

Lima beans
Peas
Calf's liver

Still won't get within a galaxy of those.  If you offer them to me at dinner, I will shoot you.

[Brisketexan 105,151]

2 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

Olive Loaf was / is a longtime staple at our hunting camp.  Olive Loaf on white with mayo paired with Fritos and bean dip out of the can.

That's living.....

Fuck yes it is.

It's like some of you heathens never went fishing or hunting in the 1970s.

Olive and pimento loaf sammiches. Vienna sausages and mustard.  Saltines and PB.  Saltines and margarine.  LIVING RIGHT, that's what that was.

[deadshank 24,653]

1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Fuck yes it is.

It's like some of you heathens never went fishing or hunting in the 1970s.

Olive and pimento loaf sammiches. Vienna sausages and mustard.  Saltines and PB.  Saltines and margarine.  LIVING RIGHT, that's what that was.

Hunting camp cuisine never fails to bring the lulz.

We used to go up to CO to elk and mule deer hunt every year.  When we started going, the owner of the ranch where we hunted would always "take care of the food" which amounted to having his ma fry up a mess of chicken.

Of course, he kept it on ice in an old Coleman cooler.  After the 2nd day, the ice would be melted and the fried yard bird would be floating around in the 90% melted ice.  The drunks would always forget to close the plastic bags the bird pieces were in.  

Cold, water logged, fried chicken for the next 4 days sucked.

We fired him from his commisary duties and soon started cooking our own stuff.

[Reagan1k 3,024]

My old man was a culinary wizard - he could turn saltines and Oleo into any meal you wanted (he didn't like saying margarine)

Hungry before hunting - sprinkle some sugar on it and you've got some breakfast - need something hearty - top it with Tabasco..... Main course - go big-time and add another saltine with some lunch meat in between and you have a feast. 

 

Edited April 23, 2018 by Reagan1k

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

1 hour ago, The Maestro said:

Potted meats of several varieties.  I can't believe I ever ate that shit.

 

This should be in the horrible opinions thread.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

The consensus on this thread: olive loaf and canned anything. Only exception I can think of is Underwood's Deviled Ham, which for some reason I enjoyed at the time, even though now it would probably make me wretch. Kids are weird, though, and I was certainly no exception.

But... yeah. Canned vegetables of any description are just gross. As is olive loaf.

[otisdog 365]

My mom's Saturday bacon and eggs. She would clean the entire house while she cooked this meal. Hour and a half to fry the bacon, ended up looking and tasting like yesterdays campfire. Then another hour and a half for the eggs...no bacon grease left after that long, she just cracked the eggs and slow fried them. The egg white would turn green and take on the properties of 1/4" hardware cloth, and the yolk would render down to some form of Sulfa tablet. Just Awful.

I took over the cooking duties in the 7th or 8th grade.

Edited April 23, 2018 by otisdog

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

Who was your mom, Heinrich Himmler?

[deadshank 24,653]

8 minutes ago, otisdog said:

My mom's Saturday bacon and eggs. She would clean the entire house while she cooked this meal. Hour and a half to fry the bacon, ended up looking and tasting like yesterdays campfire. Then another hour and a half for the eggs...no bacon grease left after that long, she just cracked the eggs and slow fried them. The egg white would turn green and take on the properties of 1/4" hardware cloth, and the yolk would render down to some form of Sulfa tablet. Just Awful.

I took over the cooking duties in the 7th or 8th grade.

Funny.  My ma would cook pork ribs in the oven.  Afeart to death that we would have undercooked pork on our plates she would cremate the danged things to the point of being nothing but crispy burnt pork adhered to the bones.  She'd then slather the remains in Kraft bbq sauce.  God, bless her.

I hated pork ribs until I had real smoked pork ribs.

[otisdog 365]

Yeah, my Serbian in-laws were deathly afraid of undercooked pork. after I smoked the ribs, then grilled them, my F-I-L would ask if I was going to boil them or microwave them next...

It took me about 10 years to break my wife of ordering every piece of meat well done.

[otisdog 365]

6 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Who was your mom, Heinrich Himmler?

No, that was my dad.

[bularry1 23]

I would eat the fuck out of an olive loaf sandwich with a heavy dose of mayo.

some of you people and the food you won't eat.  f'n olives?

[Hank_Hill 18,821]

Canned smoked oysters. I’m sure they taste great and I’d probably enjoy them but all I can think about is when my dad would crack a can open and that noxious smell would permeate the living room. 

[Mr.Hovis 70]

Liver and onions.  Only meal my mom ,or anyone else, would make that I refused to eat. I hate that shit with a passion.

[Kyrie Eleison 9,312]

motherfucking fruit cake...it's honestly the only "food" i loathe.  my mamere' you used to make it and fuck all hell that shit was...shit.  just shit.  nothing redeeming about it at all.  just lazy as fuck candied shit turds wrapped in a shit blanket of shit cake.

[HouTex 1,867]

Probably belongs in the unpopular opinions thread, but I love Collin Street Bakery fruit cake. It's something like 30% pecans.

[Brisketexan 105,151]

motherfucking fruit cake...it's honestly the only "food" i loathe.  my mamere' you used to make it and fuck all hell that shit was...shit.  just shit.  nothing redeeming about it at all.  just lazy as fuck candied shit turds wrapped in a shit blanket of shit cake.

But when soaked in a shitload of rum....yeah, I still didn’t like it.

But...rum.

[TornACL 7,698]

This thread makes me want to go buy a bunch of Vienna sausages and crackers tonight after work.

I don't give a fuck, that shit's good.

[Brisketexan 105,151]

This thread makes me want to go buy a bunch of Vienna sausages and crackers tonight after work.
I don't give a fuck, that shit's good.

And a cheap coldbeer. Gotdamn right.

[Underdog 28,684]

Canned peas and beets?  Fuckin’ A!!!! 

Potted meat and livers/onions?  Fuckin’ A!!!! 

I was never much of a fish/seafood eater as a kid, pops eating sardines grossed me out. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,732]

7 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

My mom tried to make homemade mac and cheese once.  It got all curdled and disgusting.  It was bad.

My dad wouldn't let any food get wasted, and he was making us eat it for lunch.  My brother spit it up on his plate in a fake demonstration of how disgusted he was, and my dad made him eat the regurgitated mac and cheese, which made him almost legitimately puke.

Santini?

[Jerry Callo 8,704]

Beef tartar is what she called it, but raw hamburger rolled into a ball with salt and pepper was what it was.  

[Al_4_ISU 12,464]

17 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Santini?

Nah.  She boiled the noodles and attempted to make the sauce herself.

It's weird, as she was and still is a good cook.  She just royally fucked that one up.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,732]

Nah.  She boiled the noodles and attempted to make the sauce herself.
It's weird, as she was and still is a good cook.  She just royally fucked that one up.

I was referring to your Dad with that joke.

[RollLeft 5,045]

39 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Beef tartar is what she called it, but raw hamburger rolled into a ball with salt and pepper was what it was.  

Damn your mother.  I hope someone on this thread bangs her.  

[austingirl 2,191]

It's like some executive at Hormel or wherever thought hey, we need to step up our potted meat product game. Let's throw some briny balls of grossness in with the lips and assholes!

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,819]

6 minutes ago, austingirl said:

It's like some executive at Hormel or wherever thought hey, we need to step up our potted meat product game. Let's throw some briny balls of grossness in with the lips and assholes!

[austingirl 2,191]

6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Fuck yes it is.

It's like some of you heathens never went fishing or hunting in the 1970s.

Olive and pimento loaf sammiches. Vienna sausages and mustard.  Saltines and PB.  Saltines and margarine.  LIVING RIGHT, that's what that was.

Hunting camp fare definitely lowers the bar on what's acceptable. We evacuated to my dad's hunting camp in Zavala when we were trying to dodge Hurricane Andrew, and there were things I will never unsee.

8 hours ago, Dewey said:

I haven't thought about olive loaf in a longtime, I'll have to look for it at the store.

As for gross foods, my dear mother liked to get recipe ideas from the local paper, one such recipe was to wrap fish in foil and cook in the dishwasher. She did this several times before my father led the coup and we were able to overthrow her.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
 

Jesus Christ. Was there...other stuff in the dishwasher at the time? I have so many questions about the logistics of this.

5 hours ago, otisdog said:

My mom's Saturday bacon and eggs. She would clean the entire house while she cooked this meal. Hour and a half to fry the bacon, ended up looking and tasting like yesterdays campfire. Then another hour and a half for the eggs...no bacon grease left after that long, she just cracked the eggs and slow fried them. The egg white would turn green and take on the properties of 1/4" hardware cloth, and the yolk would render down to some form of Sulfa tablet. Just Awful.

I took over the cooking duties in the 7th or 8th grade.

My mom worked full-time and was always on a diet (for the record, she's tiny and weighs 110 lbs on a fat day), so she was always eating weird shit, like canned stewed tomatoes. I also took over the cooking detail in middle school. We ate lots of Hamburger Helper, spaghetti with meat sauce, and boudin with saltines.

[Brisketexan 105,151]

1 minute ago, austingirl said:

We ate lots of Hamburger Helper, spaghetti with meat sauce, and boudin with saltines.

[austingirl 2,191]

12 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

From Nick's, no less. Let us bow our heads in a moment of silence.