Beefcake Cawthorn is a proselytizing jackass who needs his own thread

[Satchel 6,908]

On 4/2/2022 at 11:00 AM, TexLonghorn said:

Haha!  "It's all the Dems' fault!!!" 

The repub party is a dumpster fire.

 

I don’t think he wins his primary. We have probably seen the last of him, come May.

[Guest Lobo]

I kinda want him to win along with Sarah Palin.  The two of them with Boebert, Greene, Mo Brooks, and Gohmert.  

The nicknames for this right-of-the-aisle squad should provide us with a whole thread of joy.  

[Dr. Teeth 5,832]

50 minutes ago, Satchel said:

I don’t think he wins his primary. We have probably seen the last of him, come May.

It will be a big field and he will have name recognition, Trump backing and a lot of National money. It’s impossible to get rid of them once they win. 

[brakeman 28,276]

You want to do key bump and have sex in the parking lot while my friend in the wheelchair watches?

[Guest Lobo]

3 minutes ago, brakeman said:

You want to do key bump and have sex in the parking lot while my friend in the wheelchair watches?

I think that was outtake scene from "Boogie Nights" towards the end.

[Gil Bang 25,901]

[WhatTheBuck 28,718]

John Oliver had a pretty good opening segment on Cawthorn last night.

 

Edited April 4, 2022 by WhatTheBuck

[Longhorn_Fan68 33,850]

On 4/1/2022 at 1:03 PM, Neonmoon said:

This entire thread is pure gold

 

 

ah damn, it's gone

[Jive Turkey 12,568]

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21,075]

So Cawthorn is, essentially, a woman.

[Kyrie Eleison 9,312]

[Fudge Nuggets 19,152]

7 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

I'm legit surprised he didn't pull the "Do you know who I am?" card.

[jimmyjazz 45,573]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I'm legit surprised he didn't pull the "Do you know who I am?" card.

At the very least, an "adios, mofo".

[Guest Lobo]

I'm sure it's horribly insensitive, ask me if I give a shit.  

I'm guessing that Dodge or Camaro or whatever the fuck it is...I'm guessing it's one of those that's configured with the hand operated brakes/gas pedals (which is really cool that they can do that BTW in cars)?  I'm guessing it's easy to glean that from the driver's window?  I haven't seen one in decades.  

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

Why is his car registered in his daddy's name?

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, it's obviously configured for Madison, which is awesome technology for folks.  I doubt his dad could even drive the thing.  If you're a Congressman, why even bother with the strawman registration and open yourself up to scrutiny and questions?  Nobody, even your worst liberal enemy, is gonna mind you driving a $35k sports car with appropriate modifications on your salary.  Even if it was a $135k sports car, you could just say, "It's the only one I could comfortably drive in my situation", and that'd be end of story.  Full stop.  

Why go through the hoops of having Dad buy/register/title it, never mind the insurance?  Makes zero sense.  He's complicating shit when he doesn't need to.  Just pay to get it re-titled under the gift tax threshold and bring your wallet with you next time you go out driving.  It's not rocket surgery.  

He likes to over complicate shit so he can have press conferences to explain it later on.  Faux outrage about these orgies he's invited to that are laden with coke use.  Well, don't complain about attending them if the next thing outta your mouth is the drug use you saw AT THE ORGY.  Don't complain about shady financial misdeeds by Congressmen when you drive around a car your dad owns but claim was gifted to you (over the IRS amount) when it'd be totally fine if it was just your car to begin with.  He might be the biggest attention whore in Congress and that's saying something given the other all-stars we got on the roster. 

[elfenix 34,188]

Has Madison ever had a job where he could afford the car + conversion + insurance on a challenger prior to getting elected chief village idiot of western NC?

No?

That's why it's in daddy's name

[Bullneck 19,021]

 

 

[Underdog 28,458]

That’s a Whopper of a statement. 

[Jive Turkey 12,568]

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

[WhatTheBuck 28,718]

7 hours ago, Underdog said:

That’s a Whopper of a statement. 

Zing!  

[tx 3 putt 76,423]

2 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

 

they should have punched him the nuts

[elfenix 34,188]

2 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

they should have punched him the nuts

you're just a violent leftist!

[Bullneck 19,021]

5 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

Miracles?  Find a guy in a wheelchair and make him walk

[Genco 3,038]

5 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

Not as inspiring as Billy Ray Valentine.

[Grade of D as in David 13,253]

6 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

 

To be fair he can probably walk down a ramp better than Donnie.

[Dutchrudder 11,122]

100% the anonymous Congressman Cawthorn claims he saw do a "keybump" of cocaine, was himself looking at the bathroom mirror while doing it. 

[Guest Lobo]

Doesn't count if you can't see that high.  

[C-Man 27,071]

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.
GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.
 

I see dipshit still hasn’t found any collar stays

[South Austin 52,164]

18 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

they should have punched him the nuts

He wouldn’t have felt anything.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,152]

21 hours ago, Jive Turkey said:

surprised he didn't bring out Benny Hinn to assist.

GOP is doing what televangelists have been doing for decades.  grifting the same yokels.

 

I still believe he’s faking the whole being crippled thing. Everything else about this cunt is fake.

[Underdog 28,458]

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109034/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_11

 

[Fudge Nuggets 19,152]

22 minutes ago, Underdog said:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109034/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_11

 

Reposting for relevance 

 

[Genco 3,038]

4 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I still believe he’s faking the whole being crippled thing. Everything else about this cunt is fake.

[Gil Bang 25,901]

[Gil Bang 25,901]

[Gil Bang 25,901]

.

[Gil Bang 25,901]

[jimmyjazz 45,573]

You can say that again.

[Gil Bang 25,901]

[mchookem 16,237]

man this dude is just gross 😝

[Longhorn_Fan68 33,850]

how do people watch those two men exchange words and come to the conclusion that TFG is the one telling the truth? I don't fucking get it.

[DigglerontheHoof 21,075]

Just now, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

how do people watch those two men exchange words and come to the conclusion that TFG is the one telling the truth? I don't fucking get it.

do you even cult, bro?

[Chad Fuck 17,576]

“I don’t feel like he’s gonna get it. I just don’t feel like he’s gonna run away with it on May 17.”

From that article above.  You got that right lady.

[Longhorn_Fan68 33,850]

15 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

do you even cult, bro?

obviously not

[Longhorn_Fan68 33,850]

 

[Covri 6,231]

Cop was lucky Cawthorn was willing to cooperate with all those trees nearby. 

 

[Pato del Muerto 52,352]

But he has nothing but respect for the laws that he keeps ignoring. 
 

I’m sure that’s the only law he’s willing to break, anyway. That’s usually how it goes. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Pato del Muerto

['stache 21,778]

26 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

 

I wouldn't give a valid license to someone with noodle legs either.

[Pato del Muerto 52,352]

His license was just like him, invalid.