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The Surly Official 2020 Corching Search Thread of DOOM and DESPAIR

closetohumping

By closetohumping
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If it ain't Urban, who do you want?  

283 members have voted

  1. 1. Speaking of polls, I had sex with South_Austin's mom

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    • Some NFL assistant ....name him
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closetojumping
closetojumping

I am looking at things like this: Tier 1 - The Job Is Yours If You Change Your Mind & We Haven't Filled It Urban Meyer - dude is a flake. Crazier shit has happened, but folks I trust thi

closetojumping
closetojumping

I'm of the opinion that anyone mentioning rehiring Mack Brown in this thread should be neg-bombed into the abyss or outright IP banned from this site. 

closetojumping
closetojumping

In a text string with my buddies, including @SydneyCarton and @HenryJames , during & after the TCU game, we started talking seriously about getting Urban Meyer. Maybe more like fantasizing about i

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6453

Posted
Posted
Just now, Hiphopopotamos said:

If someone like Traylor or Kubiak or similar were to become Head Coach - Texas would need to have a big say in Assistants and support staff.  We can't let yet another head coach bring in a G5 level staff.

for sure on the defensive side for Kubiak, as it was always his blind spot until he got Wade. He can identify offensive coaching talent, but needs to make sure they can 'croot. 

Just don't see it, but...

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25920

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, elguapo said:

I forgot about the stroke thing, probably not a good idea for him to take a job like Texas HC.

 

11 minutes ago, UncleBuck said:

I agree about recruiting witches, just because we can't be so sure how Kubiak would be, but I will say: the guy is likable as all shit. Dude would win over every mom and dad. 

Yeah, these would be my only causes for hesitation. Otherwise... as a Broncos fan... bring him on.

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elguapo

elguapo 4586

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:

Rational people are convincing themselves that Jeff Traylor and Gary Kubiak could be acceptable hires.  

It's interesting that a former Super Bowl winning head coach like Kubiak is being laughed off as terrible. He isn't a flash in the pan like Herman, Kubiak's offensive system is proven and he knows how to build a staff. The big question for me is recruiting, but that can be addressed with the right hires.

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4th&Five

4th&Five 41525

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Just now, tx ind said:

Picture it now, Kubiak rolling into a recruits house wearing a Super Bowl ring and talking about how he coached Manning, played with Elway, etc.

Recruit:  Who is John Elway?

Seriously, do recruits care about that or do they care about getting to a playoff asap?

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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 20342

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Posted
3 minutes ago, elguapo said:

It's interesting that a former Super Bowl winning head coach like Kubiak is being laughed off as terrible. He isn't a flash in the pan like Herman, Kubiak's offensive system is proven and he knows how to build a staff. The big question for me is recruiting, but that can be addressed with the right hires.

His system is proven in the NFL. In the Big 12, you have to score a lot of points.

He has never recruited.

Fuck Kubiag. The suggestion is laughable.

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6453

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:

His system is proven in the NFL. In the Big 12, you have to score a lot of points.

He has never recruited.

Fuck Kubiag. The suggestion is laughable.

The recruiting party I agree with, but there is no doubt his offense would score points in the Big 12. 

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elguapo

elguapo 4586

Posted
Posted
Just now, Tex Pete said:

His system is proven in the NFL. In the Big 12, you have to score a lot of points.

He has never recruited.

Fuck Kubiag. The suggestion is laughable.

He has no problem scoring in the NFL with Kirk Cousins at QB, I'm sure he'd be just fine against the big 12's shitty ass defenses.

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ztejas

ztejas 43418

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, UT Lax said:

These candidates all suck and are likely to be no better than Herman. I have posted this on other threads, but this is why we need to think outside the box and completely change how contracts are written in college football! We need a sellable plan to the BMDs that we can buy out Herman and his assistants, yet not cost much more than if we kept Herman. Herman has $18.75mn left for the final 3 years of his deal and a $15mn buyout. If we offered only a $4.5mn guaranteed contract over 3 years, we would be paying only $750k more than if we kept Herman for the next 3 years and we would get rid of his smug ass and save our 2022 recruiting class!

Why do we have to keep giving these G5 coaches a 5 year $5mn per year guaranteed contract coming off $1-$2mn contracts at their small schools?  This just leads to our constant cycle of locking into the wrong guy and having to beg big donors to buyout bad contracts. 

We should reset how contracts in football are made by finding coaches who are hungry to win at UT. Offer a short-term incentive-laden contract, which is say 3 years and a $1.5mn per season. But, you get a $2mn bonus for a 10 win season, an added $1.5mn bonus if you beat OU, an added $2mn bonus if you win a conference championship, an added $2 million bonus if you make the playoffs, an added $2mn bonus if you make the championship game and another $2 mn bonus if you win the National Championship. So, we are only guaranteeing $4.5mn over 3 years, but a coach can make up to $13mn and should make at least $5mn (win 10 games and beat OU or win conference).  We can always extend 2 years if he is a badass for recruiting purposes. We can also offer EVERYTHING we offered Meyer like $3mn for assistants, complete control and his own assistant AD for recruiting who can coordinate player “imaging rights” with big donors going forward, etc. That way we have some institutional deniability and reason to fire with cause yet provide CDC and Hartzell some cover should the new assistant AD/new coach get caught stretching the limits by a completely neutered NCAA (i.e. we won't be punished by the NCAA bc we will be doing what every $EC school does)

Coaches like Jamey Chadwell (who has worked miracles at Coastal Carolina, which did not even have football 4 years ago, and who makes just $375,000), Jeff Traylor (who makes a base of $800k at UTSA), or Bill Napier (who only makes $880k and up to just $950k at Louisiana Lafayette) would totally jump at this contract offer! They would just want the chance to be the UT coach, much less double or more their base salary and have a potential to make $5mn+ just for meeting expectations and up to $13mn in a year.

Money isn't the issue. The issue is winning football games. We could offer someone's mother in law $100M if she gets us to the playoff final. That doesn't mean she's going to get it done.

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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 20342

Posted
Posted
Just now, elguapo said:

He has no problem scoring in the NFL with Kirk Cousins at QB, I'm sure he'd be just fine against the big 12's shitty ass defenses.

Tell me about all his college national championships.

We'd be an even bigger laughingstock than we are. What a fucking joke!

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4th&Five

4th&Five 41525

Posted
Posted
Just now, Tylerocks said:

It doesn't matter at this point.  If it's not Urban, it's a kick in the dick.

None of the names out there move the needle one scrote hair for me.

This.  I'm apathetic at this point but Urban would have gotten me excited again.  I never let myself believe it would happen but if they hire another JAG I'll find a hobby.

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6453

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Tex Pete said:

Would be as much a roll of the dice as any other suggestion. I thought that's what everyone said we were getting away from.

If it's not Urban or Art (it won't be either), then any other hire will be a roll of the dice. Who are we getting that's a guaranteed thing? Dabo? Saban?

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Sandman

Sandman 3403

Posted
Posted
51 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

There are plenty of coaches out there that could beat OU, win bowl games, and the occasional conference crown.

Would you kindly steer one of those guys to Stillwater, OK? Because this sounds like crazy talk.

Thanks in advance.

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Tex Pete

Tex Pete 20342

Posted
Posted
Just now, UncleBuck said:

If it's not Urban or Art (it won't be either), then any other hire will be a roll of the dice. Who are we getting that's a guaranteed thing? Dabo? Saban?

There are other rolls of the dice who wouldn't cost as much and who didn't attend our in-state former rival.

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6453

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Tex Pete said:

There are other rolls of the dice who wouldn't cost as much and who didn't attend our in-state former rival.

Royal was a sooner. Winning with an aggie would be second to that by only a little. 

But not fully advocating for Kubiak. But not sure how expensive he'd be, and for how long. Who knows. 

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Js1

Js1 85311

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

Any one else gotten to "fuck this shit" on this yet?  If the trash offered is all there is, cancel the season over and over until something better comes along.  I mean, just fuck it.

Yes. 

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NoName

NoName 16351

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Posted
1 minute ago, BradInATX said:

Gary Kubiak, NFL offensive mastermind.

Average offensive rank of his teams: 17th of 32.

what are you using here? fucking total offense? what a trash metric to use to show he isn't good.

i want to see DVOA for his teams - but don't have a FO sub...does anyone want to share his DVOA rankings?

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