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The Surly Official 2020 Corching Search Thread of DOOM and DESPAIR


closetohumping

If it ain't Urban, who do you want?  

283 members have voted

  1. 1. Speaking of polls, I had sex with South_Austin's mom

    • Fickell
      84
    • Fleck
      12
    • Franklin
      8
    • Fuente
      5
    • Cristobal
      29
    • Allen
      19
    • Some NFL assistant ....name him
      10
    • Some college assistant.....name him
      3
    • Harbaugh
      11
    • Other....name him
      102


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12 minutes ago, Droopy said:

After reading this thread, I'm going to go spit out all of the vomit that came up several times while reading everyone's take. Fuck, this is awful. January 2009 to present, how'd we get here. Did we use up ALL of our prayers for January 2006? 

Who was praying? Those guys were always going to finish the job. Don't think I've ever been able to have blind faith in a team the way I did that year.

Edited by Bevo14
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Just now, Bevo14 said:

Who was praying? Those guys were always going to finish the job.

I'm a believer in VY as much as the next guy, but I was praying my little ass off when USC went up double digits. Do not tell me you sat there, in person or watching on TV, and didn't clinch your hands together and say a little something. 

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1 hour ago, CockadoodleHorn said:

Time to make a ridiculous offer to Urban Meyer.  Texas can't go with an up and comer or unknown.  Either Urban or we are done.  Need a big name at this time to turn this shit show around.  Coaches leave Texas and start winning at other locations.  We don't have time to jack around on another project.

Time to make him an offer he can't refuse.  Let's balance those health issues on one side of ledger with some more severe health issues on the other.

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3 hours ago, Zeus said:

Or if we didn't get fucked out of 450 yards in the first half from the officiating

Herman needs to go but that first half was OSU/Baylor Teaff level bullshit.  In Fat Pats fucking pocket.  its one other reason I want Meyer.  you think the officials are going to fuck Urban Meyer over?

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2 hours ago, Droopy said:

I'm a believer in VY as much as the next guy, but I was praying my little ass off when USC went up double digits. Do not tell me you sat there, in person or watching on TV, and didn't clinch your hands together and say a little something. 

You kidding? I turned to my brother and said, "We've got em right where we want em."

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1 hour ago, dcar00 said:

Herman needs to go but that first half was OSU/Baylor Teaff level bullshit.  In Fat Pats fucking pocket.  its one other reason I want Meyer.  you think the officials are going to fuck Urban Meyer over?

hah and risk being the cause of death when his brain spiders kick in hard? nah

Next head coach needs to do more than just get chest bumped and flagged by the big 12 refs, I want a coach that is guaranteed to draw blood when they fuck us over

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2 hours ago, Droopy said:

I'm a believer in VY as much as the next guy, but I was praying my little ass off when USC went up double digits. Do not tell me you sat there in person and didn't clinch your hands together and say a little something. 

Facts. The realization that we could beat them happened -  "early in the second quarter, with USC ahead 7-0, Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush caught a pass from Matt Leinart and dashed upfield. Then, inexplicably, he lateraled the ball toward walk-on receiver Brad Walker. The press box is usually quiet, but there was a chorus of “What was he thinking?” The Longhorns recovered the ball."

That team never gave up. BDE

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2 hours ago, Ultimate Failure said:

Time to make him an offer he can't refuse.  Let's balance those health issues on one side of ledger with some more severe health issues on the other.

If he already said no to the alleged offer, then we need to let it go.  If he don't want to coach for 10 mill, he don't want to coach for 12 or 15. 

If the offer is upped and he says yes, then he'll do to Texas what we all think Jimbo is doing to Aggy: just padding his retirement.

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13 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

If he already said no to the alleged offer, then we need to let it go.  If he don't want to coach for 10 mill, he don't want to coach for 12 or 15. 

If the offer is upped and he says yes, then he'll do to Texas what we all think Jimbo is doing to Aggy: just padding his retirement.

He can pad his retirement all he wants if he delivers a bunch of conference and national titles. 

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1 minute ago, Vertigo said:

He can pad his retirement all he wants if he delivers a bunch of conference and national titles. 

Right, but would be bust his ass to do it? Knowing he gets the $$$ no matter what?  He could completely mail it in go 9-3 for 5 years and it wouldn't affect his legacy. 

The only way he accepts a higher offer is if he really wants to coach but his wife said no, but he comes back with an extra $3mil in his pocket. 

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16 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

The Tony Elliott idea is starting to grow on me, mainly because he’s not Tom Herman

Looks good on paper. But I think the last 2 Clemson OCs to get HC jobs are Chad Morris (disaster) and Jeff Scott (1-8 this year at USF). Very concerning pattern.

Despite LSU, I'm still team Mullen and Campbell. 

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1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

I will say this, I was a hard no on Fleck, but who the hell has won at Minnesota or Eastern Michigan?

Hayden Fox?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, I know it was Minn State

Edited by WBT
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If not URBAN, several on this list of candidates is depressing... 😬

Scoop coaching search update thanks to @RGBIII  

Quote

COACHING HOT BOARD

*This is not the official trilateral commission hot board — that is unknown. It is our stab at what their big board looks like.

We’re omitting the unicorns like Nick Saban, Dabo Swinney, and Kyle Shanahan. We’re also excluding Urban Meyer because we’ve been down that road and he’s a no. We do think they’ll make one last call to him, probably after getting down the road a ways with one of these candidates, though we don’t think it will change anything.

We‘ve also heard Kyle Shanahan has been made aware of UT’s interest, but we don’t feel that will materialize into anything worth covering. He just prefers the NFL.

Recency bias is unkind to the first three. Like love, anger, and tribalism, recency bias is also unkind to the human IQ.

1. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame: Best resume in the country for a coach who hasn’t won a national championship.

2. Matt Campbell, Iowa State: Has done more with less in the same conference UT has done less with more in.

3. Dan Mullen, Florida: “Creative” Urban Meyer. Also, “Angry” Brian Kelly. Probably fishing for a bag of money.

4. Gary Kubiak, Minnesota Vikings (OC): Great offense that fits the personnel; a 180 degree shift in personality at the top.

5. Gary Patterson, TCU: Mainly due to familiarity with Del Conte and the thought he’d be able win with UT level athletes.

6. Bryan Harsin, Boise State: Like Will Muschamp, Harsin left a good impression on Texas people while he was in Austin. He’s remembered for making chicken salad out of chicken ****. He’s done well at Boise State. They like his familiarity with the school. Does Harsin like his familiarity with the school? Chris Petersen’s name still carries some weight and Harsin is the closest thing to him.

 

Personally not a fan of Brian Kelly as our next Head Coach...

 

And wtf is Fatterson doing on this list for TEXAS...

2016 TCU 6–7 4–5 5th L Liberty    
2017 TCU 11–3 7–2 2nd W Alamo 9 9
2018 TCU 7–6 4–5 T–5th W Cheez-It    
2019 TCU 5–7 3–6 T–7th      
2020 TCU 6–4 5–4 6th Texas    

 

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BRIAN KELLY

- In 11 years at Notre Dame, Brian Kelly has all of 4 wins vs. Top 10 teams.  (4 wins in 13 games.) 

- Of those 4 Top 10 wins, one was against a #10 Michigan State team that finished the year unranked (7-6).  Another was his overtime win this year, vs. Clemson w/o Trevor Lawrence.

- And he's around 21 out of 41 vs. Top 25.

- Note, Fuckface (yeah that guy) has 6 Top-10 wins in his time at Houston and Texas.

 

IF KELLY CAME TO TEXAS

- If Kelly came to Texas and had access to better talent, yeah, we would have a high floor; routinely beat unranked teams, split with Top 25, stumble vs. OK/Top-10.

- So better years than we've seen in the recent past, but I don't see us regularly contending for a national title.  

- Would likely feel like pre-2005 Mack.  Sit around hoping that a Vince or Colt came along to put us over that top.

 

ND IN THE PLAYOFFS

- If he pulled off a miracle and won the title this year, would that change the - I hate this word - narrative? Sure.  National titles tend to do that.  Esp. since he would have to go through Alabama and likely Clemson.  We'll find out.

- But if he suffered yet another blowout?  It would simply reinforce the current one.

 

 

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23 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

BRIAN KELLY

- In 11 years at Notre Dame, Brian Kelly has all of 4 wins vs. Top 10 teams.  (4 wins in 13 games.) 

- Of those 4 Top 10 wins, one was against a #10 Michigan State team that finished the year unranked (7-6).  Another was his overtime win this year, vs. Clemson w/o Trevor Lawrence.

- And he's around 21 out of 41 vs. Top 25.

- Note, Fuckface (yeah that guy) has 6 Top-10 wins in his time at Houston and Texas.

 

IF KELLY CAME TO TEXAS

- If Kelly came to Texas and had access to better talent, yeah, we would have a high floor; routinely beat unranked teams, split with Top 25, stumble vs. OK/Top-10.

- So better years than we've seen in the recent past, but I don't see us regularly contending for a national title.  

- Would likely feel like pre-2005 Mack.  Sit around hoping that a Vince or Colt came along to put us over that top.

 

ND IN THE PLAYOFFS

- If he pulled off a miracle and won the title this year, would that change the - I hate this word - narrative? Sure.  National titles tend to do that.  Esp. since he would have to go through Alabama and likely Clemson.  We'll find out.

- But if he suffered yet another blowout?  It would simply reinforce the current one.

 

 

Here are the Top 25 teams Kelly has faced over the last 4 years (top 10 are highlighted):

image.png.79b6d30b563d51b97b88e851162ddc71.png

He's 11-7 versus top 25 teams and 2-4 against the top 10.  Though its should be noted that 3 of those games were against fucking Clemson.  This isn't Tom Herman playing fucking Oklahoma and winning.

He also doesn't have any WTF losses on the level of losing to TCU the last 4 years.

Edited by Hiphopopotamos
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6 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

That's only what ND reported.  Private school so they don't have to tell you what they pay their coaches.  Expectation is that he makes significantly more than that - though not as much as other schools pay.  And assistant pool is also lower than other top schools.

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2 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Here are the Top 25 teams Kelly has faced over the last 4 years (top 10 are highlighted):

image.png.79b6d30b563d51b97b88e851162ddc71.png

He's 11-7 versus top 25 teams and 2-4 against the top 10.  Though its should be noted that 4 of those games were against fucking Clemson.  This isn't Tom Herman playing fucking Oklahoma and winning.

He also doesn't have any WTF losses on the level of losing to TCU the last 4 years.

Each of those losses he was clearly the least talented team in those games and it was very noticeable. I think he would be able to recruit far more elite talent here than at ND.

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