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The Surly Official 2020 Corching Search Thread of DOOM and DESPAIR

closetohumping

By closetohumping
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If it ain't Urban, who do you want?  

283 members have voted

  1. 1. Speaking of polls, I had sex with South_Austin's mom

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closetojumping
closetojumping

I am looking at things like this: Tier 1 - The Job Is Yours If You Change Your Mind & We Haven't Filled It Urban Meyer - dude is a flake. Crazier shit has happened, but folks I trust thi

closetojumping
closetojumping

I'm of the opinion that anyone mentioning rehiring Mack Brown in this thread should be neg-bombed into the abyss or outright IP banned from this site. 

closetojumping
closetojumping

In a text string with my buddies, including @SydneyCarton and @HenryJames , during & after the TCU game, we started talking seriously about getting Urban Meyer. Maybe more like fantasizing about i

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BuckeyeInSeattle

BuckeyeInSeattle 36

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Posted

I realize he can't be hired this early in his career, but I am very confident that Jeff Hafley is going to be a very, very successful head coach.  I expect him to be coaching at a blue blood program within the next 5 years.  If Ryan Day were to leave Ohio State for some reason, there would be a lot of support for Hafley to get the job-- and that's right now, when he's only been a HC for part of one season.  

Like I said, I realize he can't be a candidate this year.  But I think he'll have a better career than any of the other realistic options being discussed.

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George Clooney

George Clooney 378

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Posted
4 minutes ago, BuckeyeInSeattle said:

I realize he can't be hired this early in his career, but I am very confident that Jeff Hafley is going to be a very, very successful head coach.  I expect him to be coaching at a blue blood program within the next 5 years.  If Ryan Day were to leave Ohio State for some reason, there would be a lot of support for Hafley to get the job-- and that's right now, when he's only been a HC for part of one season.  

Like I said, I realize he can't be a candidate this year.  But I think he'll have a better career than any of the other realistic options being discussed.

I'd rep this more than once if I could. I said it months ago on here, but you can just tell how damn good of a coach that guy is when you watch his press conferences and how his teams respond to him. He's way too green like you said, but Day absolutely nailed that hire more than a year ago. I hope he has a special season at BC when his roster matures in a few years.

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satyanash

satyanash 14281

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Posted
47 minutes ago, MagicSoccerSpray said:

How has Bryan Harsin name only come up a couple of times in this thread? He is actually financially attainable and would kill it here. End of.

Same problem that Chris Klieman has. He never had to build the program at Boise State into what it is; he just inherited it from Chris Peterson and kept the wheels rolling.

He'll be walking into a much different situation at Texas.

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EuroHorn

EuroHorn 3204

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 12/5/2020 at 11:12 PM, perfectchaos007 said:

Tom Allen might be my 2nd favorite option. He's a power 5 conference coach who's built a team thats way overperforming in that conference. He has shown he can actually develop his players.

Allen is 24-21 in the big ten as head football coach.  I’d love to see how Allen does in a few non-Covid years after this year. Covid has had a significant impact on the college football season this year.  The top 25 is littered with teams who’ve never been ranked so high this late in the season 

Edited by EuroHorn
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GabrielsHorn

GabrielsHorn 2142

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4 hours ago, satyanash said:

Same problem that Chris Klieman has. He never had to build the program at Boise State into what it is; he just inherited it from Chris Peterson and kept the wheels rolling.

He'll be walking into a much different situation at Texas.

Also, hiring head coaches from places like Boise or Houston has generally not been a good idea. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, satyanash said:

Same problem that Chris Klieman has. He never had to build the program at Boise State into what it is; he just inherited it from Chris Peterson and kept the wheels rolling.

He'll be walking into a much different situation at Texas.

I hear Dan Hawkins is available. Chris Peterson is as well. Coaching at Boise is a different deal than coaching at a P5 conference.

image.png.255d8655cb4f25f2510612a822dae179.png

What makes you @MagicSoccerSpray think that Harsin would have any more success leaving Boise than Koetter (40-34 @ ASU), Hawkins (19-39 @ CU), or Petersen (55-26 at UW)? Out of the 4 Petersen would be my choice, but after watching him at UW and seeing him retire due to anxiety and stress, I'm not sure he's cut out for a program like Texas. 

 

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tonedeaf

tonedeaf 56

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Posted
6 hours ago, UTEngr said:


Did you fall on your head? I’d go Art Briles than that BOD Sto0ps... we want to win bowl games not just go....


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Art the fart didnt have a stellar bowl record.  Lost Cotton and Fiesta.  Won a couple of minor bowls.  But fuck art briles.

Is Billy Napier out of the equation?  

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Capn81

Capn81 372

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I don’t care who it is, as none of the coaches mentioned even remotely move the needle, but we better not overpay and we need to have an out after three years. You might as well just stick with what we have and see what the interest is after next year if we are going to pay another average coach the same as Herman.

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mdmost

mdmost 42867

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Campbell would probably be the guy who could kill it here with the existing talent. I could see him being like Stoops at OU. I just don't think he'd move within conference. It takes a special type of asshole to do that like Art Briles. Campbell isn't that guy. He'll go to Michigan or some other northern Big 10 school. Is he worth the buyout, maybe. The alternative doesn't look desirable. 

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39687

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I say go after Tony Elliott, dude can flat out coach. Has been the playcaller for Clemson since 2015. Guy can flat out coach and has learned how to run a program from one of the best. I think we could get him at a bargain at 5 years 4.5 million each. 


Luke Fickell would be who I would also go after but he will have a 4 million buyout if we hire now or after January 1 it goes to 3.5 million.

The above is assuming Mullen is a no go. I think Sexton is just trying to get him a raise/extension with his name being floated.

I posted this in the cdc y u no fire tom thread

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

I know nothing really.

I think I like Fickell the best.  He's done solid work at Cincy.  The cake wasn't baked,  He had one bad record in first year and pretty good since, over a span of four years.  He regularly beats top 20 opponents, doesn't lose to dogshit.

Whats his best win? They largely play a shit schedule and do well. He loses to more ranked teams than he beats. 

In 2017, he played 3 ranked teams and lost each game (#8 Mich, #25 UCF,  #18 S. Florida)
In 2018, he played 1 ranked team and lost ( #11 UCF) 
In 2019, he  played 4 ranked teams and lost three of them (#5 tOSU, Memphis twice b2b #18, #17) while beating #18 UCF
In 2020, he played 2 ranked teams and won both (#22 Army, #16 SMU)

I'm willing to fire Herman and try someone else simply because Herman is a mediocre fuckstick, but nothing about this guys resume says he will be any better than Herman or Strong. 

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31305

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2 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Whats his best win? They largely play a shit schedule and do well. He loses to more ranked teams than he beats. 

In 2017, he played 3 ranked teams and lost each game (#8 Mich, #25 UCF,  #18 S. Florida)
In 2018, he played 1 ranked team and lost ( #11 UCF) 
In 2019, he  played 4 ranked teams and lost three of them (#5 tOSU, Memphis twice b2b #18, #17) while beating #18 UCF
In 2020, he played 2 ranked teams and won both (#22 Army, #16 SMU)

I'm willing to fire Herman and try someone else simply because Herman is a mediocre fuckstick, but nothing about this guys resume says he will be any better than Herman or Strong. 

I'm more interested in the fact that he has has few or no wtf losses.  Unlike our present coach, who had two years playing essentially the same competition.  While recruiting in the north.

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Bevo

Bevo 13528

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I say go after Tony Elliott, dude can flat out coach. Has been the playcaller for Clemson since 2015. Guy can flat out coach and has learned how to run a program from one of the best. I think we could get him at a bargain at 5 years 4.5 million each. 


Luke Fickell would be who I would also go after but he will have a 4 million buyout if we hire now or after January 1 it goes to 3.5 million.

The above is assuming Mullen is a no go. I think Sexton is just trying to get him a raise/extension with his name being floated.

This is a good list. Tony Elliott might be a good choice. Brian Daboll of the Buffalo Bills might also be a good choice. My problem with these inexpensive guys is really 5-fold. They haven't built a program, they haven't built a staff, they haven't shown they can lead, they haven't had to deal with the media, university, and BMDs, and/or they haven't recruited at a high level. Building a staff is my biggest issue because that is where Herman failed. If Elliott brought in Muschamp on D and Bienemy or Daboll as highly paid assistants, I would be up for it. If he or CDC wants to be cheap on assistant pay or quality, it is a hell no. The new guy, whoever it is other than Meyer, Saban, or Dabo needs to have an all-star support staff.

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GTX Horn

GTX Horn 1707

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I just don't see how you can keep Herman for another year after effectively neutering him with all of this. If you can't poach someone like Mullen (which would be highly doubtful considering he's already built a top program in the easier division of the SEC), Matt Campbell is the best bet comparatively at least. Cristobal or Franklin would not be much of an improvement over Herman. Campbell at least knows how to win in the Big 12, beat OU, and has multiple years of head coaching experience at multiple schools. Recruiting ability for Campbell would be a huge question mark, but it's hard to assess that because it's hard to set the recruiting world on fire at Iowa fucking State. Just my 2 cents.

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EuroHorn

EuroHorn 3204

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14 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I'm more interested in the fact that he has has few or no wtf losses.  Unlike our present coach, who had two years playing essentially the same competition.  While recruiting in the north.

That’s because Fickell is expected to lose to ranked teams now. That won’t be the case at Texas. 

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Hagbard Celine

Hagbard Celine 10765

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Job Description Posting: Head Football Coach

Applicant requirements: none

Duration: 1 year

Base salary: $1

Compensation per win:

Out-of-conference G5 game: $100,000

Out-of-conference P5 game: $250,000

Conference game: $400,000

0u game: $750,000

B12 title: $750,000

+++

Bowl win: $500,000

or

NY6 berth: $250,000 + NY6 win: $500,000

or

CFP semi berth: $500,000 +  CFP semi win / title berth: $750,000

AND

CFP National Champion: $1,000,000

...

total undefeated national champion compensation:

g5 (1): 100k

p5 (2): 500k

b12 (8): 3200k

0u: 750k

b12: 750k

cfp semi berth: 500k

cfp semi win / title berth: 750k

national champions: 1000k

$7,550,000.00

 

 

 

 

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Landomatic

Landomatic 3813

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Fuck it, let's just go take Jimbo.  I don't think he's got a buyout (at least he didn't when he originally signed), he's had a few years to get a handle on Texas recruiting, he's got the aggys looking pretty good but they still have a really hard path to ever winning the conference, or even playing for it...let alone a MNC, he's maintained two programs per CDC's supposed criteria, I think his guy at aggy was Scott Woodward who's gone now so probably not much loyalty there, and he's very likely available in a couple weeks.  Plus he's got that whole national championship thing going for him.  It'll never happen, but it would be glorious just to see aggy's heads explode.

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

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Posted
1 hour ago, JFKFC said:

Fickell is the only possibility I might be able to stomach, but even he would be a crap hire. 

CDC failed where he had to succeed, so we are stuck on the crazy train to nowheresville. 

Fickell is a huge gamble as are all of the likely suspects (outside of Meyer, maybe Mullen). I will hold my decision on whether CDC failed until I see how it all plays out. If we head into 2021 with Herman as the head coach, then yes CDC likely failed. He would be gambling that Herman can turn it around (not gonna happen) or there is a better coach available next year(not likely).

If we replace Herman, it will be a couple of years before we know if he failed or not. A large contingent of our fan base spent so much time sucking each other's dicks after UT hired Herman that they suffered permanent brain damage in the process. Herman was a fraud, but because he was who the media said was the hot guy, most of the fan base was happy. To the same extent, if CDC hires a WR coach from a middle of the road ACC team (Dabo's profile) he will get crucified before we ever see the results. Coaching hires are a crap shoot, always have been. 

 

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F250

F250 28700

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Landomatic said:

Fuck it, let's just go take Jimbo.  I don't think he's got a buyout (at least he didn't when he originally signed), he's had a few years to get a handle on Texas recruiting, he's got the aggys looking pretty good but they still have a really hard path to ever winning the conference, or even playing for it...let alone a MNC, he's maintained two programs per CDC's supposed criteria, I think his guy at aggy was Scott Woodward who's gone now so probably not much loyalty there, and he's very likely available in a couple weeks.  Plus he's got that whole national championship thing going for him.  It'll never happen, but it would be glorious just to see aggy's heads explode.

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Hagbard Celine said:

Job Description Posting: Head Football Coach

Applicant requirements: none

Duration: 1 year

Base salary: $1

Compensation per win:

Out-of-conference G5 game: $100,000

Out-of-conference P5 game: $250,000

Conference game: $400,000

0u game: $750,000

B12 title: $750,000

+++

Bowl win: $500,000

or

NY6 berth: $250,000 + NY6 win: $500,000

or

CFP semi berth: $500,000 +  CFP semi win / title berth: $750,000

AND

CFP National Champion: $1,000,000

...

total undefeated national champion compensation:

g5 (1): 100k

p5 (2): 500k

b12 (8): 3200k

0u: 750k

b12: 750k

cfp semi berth: 500k

cfp semi win / title berth: 750k

national champions: 1000k

$7,550,000.00

 

 

 

 

Who the fuck would take that job when other schools are handing out $30-$75 million guaranteed? The dumbest motherfucker on the planet thats who. You need to bump that pay range up to about $10-$15 for a conference championship and $25 million for the national championship, or the thought exercise is pointless. 

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Dr. Teeth

Dr. Teeth 5832

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3 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

Dan Mullen just called that guy to tell him to shut the fuck up. The UT job is apparently up for grabs; time for every agent to float some rumors and get their clients raises.

Not really. He doesn’t have to use us for a raise. He finishes in top 6 and has a Heisman runner up, then he will get a huge raise. We will get 2nd tier coaches their raises this year. 

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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2554

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Posted

 

16 minutes ago, Dr. Beeper said:

Why do you want fucking Chris Petersen?  No fucking way. The only similarity to kicking the tires on Saban is stupidity. But for different reasons. Petersen isn’t good enough. Saban is unattainable. What they fuck is wrong with y’all?

"Peterson isn't good enough" for us? We're talking Matt Campbell types (no slight against him, think he's a good coach with potential for success here) and you think Peterson is beneath us at this point? What the fuck is wrong with you? And Saban is unattainable? Sure, most likely, but it doesn't stop you from making the call. People said the same thing in 2013 and those people for wrong.

16 minutes ago, Steelers Roll Left said:

It’s desperate, but that would be my immediate course of action— offer the record breaking salary to anyone you deem worth it regardless of how seemingly unrealistic. 

I know you're agreeing me, but times call for desperate measures, see e.g. the shit show that just unfolded and the consequences for the future of the program discussed at length the last few pages. UT is desperate, and UT should be desperate. Fuck optics, make the calls and test the waters with the best options out there even if they'll almost assuredly say no. Insert cliché Wayne Gretzky quote. 

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victory88

victory88 5663

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Posted
4 minutes ago, Yuk said:

I would absolutely take Traylor.  If we're going to go this direction, at least I'd like the guy.

I've always liked Traylor as well.  But holy fuck if we go from aiming for Meyer and settling on the UTSA coach.  LMFAO!  Is he even at a G5 school?  How many years has he been a head coach again at the D1 level?

Also I've watched my fair share of Iowa State games.  Campbell is a hell of a coach.  I also do not think he will be a good fit here.  He has no ties to this state and I don't think he will be able to recruit against Riley, Jimbo, LSU, Bama, tOSU.  I also see a lot of similarities between him and Herman.  They play meathead football and I've seen his teams consistently play up to competition and also play down to competition.  I don't think he elevates this program to the CFP and it will be more of the same, 8-4 to 9-3 type seasons.  

Part of me is so beat down that I'm ready for us to say fuck it and bring in a dirty mother fucker like Hugh Freeze.  The guy knows hows to cheat better than Jimbo and LSU and is a damn good play caller that can go toe to toe with Riley.   Tennessee will probably hire him and land the #1 recruiting class the next cycle just like Ole Miss this.

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burdine

burdine 522

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The most attainable Plan Bs:

Matt Campbell - good track record at ISU (but how much is having 4 years of Purdy) plus Toledo

Pat Fitzgerald - not sexy but sustained success in a major conference over 14 years, gets regular NFL interest

Bryan Harsin - success but he inherited a solid program

Jeff Traylor - less proven but deep Texas HS connections, might stabilize recruiting

 

 

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Bevo14

Bevo14 8275

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Posted
2 minutes ago, derpyhorndog said:

 

"Peterson isn't good enough" for us? We're talking Matt Campbell types (no slight against him, think he's a good coach with potential for success here) and you think Peterson is beneath us at this point? What the fuck is wrong with you? And Saban is unattainable? Sure, most likely, but it doesn't stop you from making the call. People said the same thing in 2013 and those people for wrong.

I know you're agreeing me, but times call for desperate measures, see e.g. the shit show that just unfolded and the consequences for the future of the program discussed at length the last few pages. UT is desperate, and UT should be desperate. Fuck optics, make the calls and test the waters with the best options out there even if they'll almost assuredly say no. Insert cliché Wayne Gretzky quote. 

Petersen isn't beneath us but given the reasons for his retirement, this seems like a horrible fit. On the flip side, they have some time. Nobody else has a chance of making a splash before early signing day.  Might as well do a real search. I'd say Campbell, Fickell, and Kelly should probably be at the top of the list. 

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