Big Meal Screw Ups Confessional

[dcbc 14573]

So we tend to post our perceived successes.  But they don't all go perfectly . . . and then some.  What have you screwed up, served, and never mentioned.

So for my first Thanksgiving to host and cook most of the big stuff yesterday, most everything kicked ass.  But apparently, making Turkey stock from some of the leg quarters left over and frozen at Easter was my first mistake.  Everything seemed to turn out great. I used it on the dressing and bagged a gallon for Turkey Gumbo today.  Well, I pull the bag with some of the leftover meat left on the boat from the stock and it turns out my drunk ass used ham bones for the stock.  Dressing was fine, but I retreated to container chicken stock for the gumbo.  A lot of people yesterday were really in the couch after Thanksgiving.  Wonder if they had ham stock fatigue.  I'll never 'fess up to it.

[huge 3803]

I made gumbo a couple of years ago and didn’t thaw the stock completely beforehand.

When I added some cold/frozen stock it seemed to separate the roux some. So there was a big oily film on everything.

Tasted ok but looked like ass. The people that came over were polite about it.

[pops 7044]

I fucked up by trusting my family. I dont do turkey at Thanksgiving because if turkey was any good I would cook it all year. 

But my sister wanted tradition so she cooked a turkey. I asked over and over again what time we were eating. 4pm was the answer. So I planned on 430. I did a prime grade prime rib, Brussels with onion and bacon and a balsamic fig glaze and mashed cauliflower. 

At 430, the breast of the turkey was 135. 

I did what I could to delay and stall but the 109 dollar chunk of meat was over. Brussels were soggy. At least the cauliflower was good. 

And they all said it was the best they've ever had. FML. 

I'm not doing it again. If I'm not in charge of all the main dishes I'm out. 

[Anastasis 23517]

3 hours ago, dcbc said:

So we tend to post our perceived successes.  But they don't all go perfectly . . . and then some.  What have you screwed up, served, and never mentioned.

I under cooked my prime rib by a few degrees and didn't get a crispy skin on my bird this year.

Ate that shit with a big fucking grin on my face cause this Tday with just the kids and wife was pretty fucking awesome. 

[Texas St. Armadillos 1381]

Should have brined the pork loin before smoking.  Won't make that mistake again. Edible but below my standards.

[Mo Horn 8900]

Did a leg of lamb once many years ago when I just learning to cook. Tried to put too many things in the oven at the same time, so I pushed the lamb to one side of the oven. Half of it was overdone and the other side was almost raw. Sliced it and served what I could. Luckily it was a small group and even then really small portions for everyone. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. 

[jimmyjazz 46523]

Struggled with the bird this year.  Foiled the breast because some dumbass website suggested it would help get everything to the right temp at the same time.  Uh, no.  Legs measured 170 F, breast measured 135 F.  Ended up foiling the legs to get the breast close, overcooking the dark meat, but fortunately that's a pretty forgiving error.  Bird turned out good enough all around.

[Spaulding Smails 1568]

Years ago, I had a nice little Tejas offset pit.  I was smoking some pork spare ribs and a few chickens.  We had about a dozen people coming over.  The meat looked great, and both my wife and I were actually ahead of schedule on food prep.  We were building out house at the time and in the middle of frame stage, so my wife and I decided to take a quick trip out there before our guests arrived to check things out.  We were back at the house within an hour.  I went out to check on the pit, and the thermostat was PEGGED.  I hadn't cleaned out the main chamber in a while, and grease spilled into the firebox.  Massive grease fire.  Chicken and ribs were essentially charcoal.  We ended up eating sausage wraps instead.  The fire got so hot, that it actually ruined that thermostat.  

[next2naus 439]

I smoked some Ribs on Wednesday, plan was to warm them up and serve with the bird. some of them burned a bit in the reheating as the temp was too high on the oven (for the Bird) and they probably sat in there too long. no one noticed or cared but I'm a perfectionist with my Q so it bothered me. one does not waste ribs

[midtown 3348]

I'm the goto cook for green bean casserole since I make it from scratch with all fresh ingredients etc.   On Wed I checked the pantry and I had a can of fried onions already.   The only thing not "fresh".   Took it to turkey day dinner and everyone agreed something was off and we narrowed it to the fried onion toppings which were not good and made the whole dish taste like the lining of the can.  When I got home I looked at the can of fried onions and they expired in 2016.  Which means they were probably bought in 2014.   I'm on probation now.

Edited November 28, 2020 by midtown

[Dbeasy 15262]

My first smoked turkey was pulled at breast 160 degrees but was slightly overdone in spots. It was good flavor-wise just had some piece too cooked.

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

All I know is that The Oven Story of last year, was one for the history books. I don't happen to recall if it was in the Family Drama thread or what, but it was epic.

 

[Jameslaw121 4455]

My first Thanksgiving that I was doing a turkey (I think I was around 21), I didn't know that it need to be defrosted several days before in the fridge. I just took it out the night before. Would up cutting it into pieces and cooked them in beer and butter at a low temp until they were fully thawed then grilled them. Didn't turn out horrible, but it was that great.

A few years ago, we had family coming over and about 5 dishes in the oven. My wife goes to take a shower. When she gets out she tells me to take the corn dip out of the oven and put it on the stove (it was in a glass casserole dish).  I didn't realize the burner I set it on was still hot. The dish blew up, sending pieces of glass and hot corn over the entire kitchen/Living room area. We were fining bits of corn and glass for like a month....

@Knoxtnhorn and I left and went to get Mexican since there was glass in pretty much all the other food sitting on the kitchen island.

[Knoxtnhorn 6177]

13 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

My first Thanksgiving that I was doing a turkey (I think I was around 21), I didn't know that it need to be defrosted several days before in the fridge. I just took it out the night before. Would up cutting it into pieces and cooked them in beer and butter at a low temp until they were fully thawed then grilled them. Didn't turn out horrible, but it was that great.

A few years ago, we had family coming over and about 5 dishes in the oven. My wife goes to take a shower. When she gets out she tells me to take the corn dip out of the oven and put it on the stove (it was in a glass casserole dish).  I didn't realize the burner I set it on was still hot. The dish blew up, sending pieces of glass and hot corn over the entire kitchen/Living room area. We were fining bits of corn and glass for like a month....

@Knoxtnhorn and I left and went to get Mexican since there was glass in pretty much all the other food sitting on the kitchen island.

That's right.  I remember that.  Pretty loud bang. I almost died.   Mexican food was good, though.

Edited November 28, 2020 by Knoxtnhorn

[Knoxtnhorn 6177]

High Spanish class decided to have a culture day w/ food.

Cool.  I'll cook my grandmother's Mexican corn bread.  To make it extra spicy, why don't I just pour in the leftover juice from the jalapeno jar?  It curdled the milk, making it completely inedible.  I didn't taste it ahead of time.  Got to school.  Looking back, it was kind of touching how many of the students tried to pretend that it was really good.

[EE2B 1565]

Struggled with the bird this year.  Foiled the breast because some dumbass website suggested it would help get everything to the right temp at the same time.  Uh, no.  Legs measured 170 F, breast measured 135 F.  Ended up foiling the legs to get the breast close, overcooking the dark meat, but fortunately that's a pretty forgiving error.  Bird turned out good enough all around.

This year I spatchcocked my bird and put it in the fridge to dry. I took it out about an hour ahead of when it needed to be in the over to “warm” just a bit. Before I added the butter I was like fuck this and cut it the rest of the way up. I separated it by white and dark meat and put the dark on the bottom since it cooks a little hotter. It was the best turkey I’ve done. I think I will continue to do it this way because fuck presentation.

[South Austin 52764]

First time I ever made gumbo, I was cooking for my former sister-in-law’s family. I underestimated how long it took to make the roux, gave up too early so it was barley brown, and fucked up the seasoning. Thankfully, they’re from Kansas, so they didn’t know any better, and thought it was great.

[pops 7044]

9 hours ago, EE2B said:

This year I spatchcocked my bird and put it in the fridge to dry. I took it out about an hour ahead of when it needed to be in the over to “warm” just a bit. Before I added the butter I was like fuck this and cut it the rest of the way up. I separated it by white and dark meat and put the dark on the bottom since it cooks a little hotter. It was the best turkey I’ve done. I think I will continue to do it this way because fuck presentation.

Ummm... wrong fucking thread you humble bragging son of a bitch

[Mac8111 2119]

My brisket the other day sucked

[Brisketexan 105691]

Back when I was a teen and still learning to cook, I had a simple recipe for orange chicken, based on a package of mixed ingredients prepackaged by the meat counter at Randall’s.  It was great.  The main thing I has to add was 1/4 cup of orange juice.

I bought the ingredients again, and thought that this time, I’ll make lemon chicken.  All I have to do is switch out the orange juice for 1/4 cup of lemon juice.  I cooked it, and it was a beautiful golden yellow, smelled fantastic and lemony.  Then I took a bite....and my lips puckered so hard that my cheeks passed each other.  I hadnt thought of the lack of sweetness, and all the extra sour.  Had to scrape the whole thing into the trash, and nuked a coupla hot dogs for dinner.

Edited November 29, 2020 by Brisketexan