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Jimbo 2020: Strangers with Candi

Machinator

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Neonmoon
Neonmoon

Just to recap Five Star WR and Aggy commit Demond Demas wanted to transfer from North Forest High School to Tomball High School. He stated it was to better his living situation, and not for athle

blacklab
blacklab
BurntOrangeCrush
BurntOrangeCrush

Hey everyone, just got back from Baton Rouge. I was taking my stepson there for an orientation (he got his GED and only qualified for Blinn, aggy, and LSU) and got to hang out with some of the local f

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WBT

WBT 20422

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1 hour ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

If Evans ends up at aggy can they also flip Damien George?  That would be outstanding on so many levels.  Another Guard.  Looch boasting about a straight flip of Saban.  POWER MOVES.

George to aggy needs to happen regardless.  I don't think there's any way Saban actually takes him.

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 14487

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8 hours ago, Voluminous Banality said:

The incessant equivocation in these Looch chats between feigned momentary perception of reality and indomitable blind homerism is absolutely delicious.

  • I’d be surprised if there aren’t big changes this week, but I don’t think there will be big changes because there don’t need to be.
  • I’m not going to say that we’ll win the national championship next year, but we’re still on track to win the national championship next year.
  • I need to see more from this team, but there’s no need to be concerned. Second year coaches often lose 3 or 5 or 6 games and still win the national championship in their third year. It happens all the time.
  • Jimbo just needs to push his players more to stop making so many mistakes. (Apparently, coaching is simultaneously the problem and the solution.)
  • They’re going to tinker with the options they don’t have on defense.
  • Mond is going to run more, but not much more.
  • Losing Corbin and Williams hurts, but Cordarrian Richardson is the savior.
  • Our TEs don’t know what they are doing, but are elite. (Maybe they are elite at not knowing what they are doing?)
  • We can start stronger in games by being more aggressive earlier, but we’re already being aggressive enough early.
  • Mond is Justin Herbert, but better.
  • Jimbo is Nick Saban, but he is the most honest coach I’ve ever seen and doesn't hide behind HIPPA.
  • Auburn has the best defensive line in the country and probably maybe the best in the SEC.
  • Unlike the Clemson and Auburn games, we are going to try to beat Arkansas and not just run out of time run out the clock.

Aggy is the great paradox of our time--truly a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, if there ever was one. The only key is the aggy collective delusion.

My favorite was the question about WRs and lack of separation. "They need to try harder." No you fucking retard, they are slow. Trying harder doesn't make them less slow.

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crash_davis

crash_davis 23084

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what's amazing is they ask looch these stupid fucking question as if looch were some idiot savant with knowledge about the inner workings of the team, how to play football, or jimbo.  that mother doesn't know shit, other than recruiting for aggy and even then he's doesn't know shit.  like he knows what the aggy wrs need to do about separation?  like he fucking knows what the route trees are or how each play is designed to run.  idiot leading a bigger group of idiots.

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Burt Macklin

Burt Macklin 18998

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8 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

what's amazing is they ask looch these stupid fucking question as if looch were some idiot savant with knowledge about the inner workings of the team, how to play football, or jimbo.  that mother doesn't know shit, other than recruiting for aggy and even then he's doesn't know shit.  like he knows what the aggy wrs need to do about separation?  like he fucking knows what the route trees are or how each play is designed to run.  idiot leading a bigger group of idiots.

My favorite is when they ask his opinions on specific recruits as if he’s watched a second of their play or the other guys at the recruit’s positions.

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Voluminous Banality

Voluminous Banality 1032

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45 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

My favorite was the question about WRs and lack of separation. "They need to try harder." No you fucking retard, they are slow. Trying harder doesn't make them less slow.

Aggy is the exact opposite of most fanbases. NOTHING is the head coach's fault. Jimbo is an offensive genius, a master program builder, a phenomenal game-day coach, and an unrivaled recruiter.

When their season tanks, it can’t be Jimbo. His offensive philosophy has worked in “multiple leagues” and his game-planning is without equal. It can’t be a lack of talent—Jimbo has stocked the roster with elite prospects all over the field.

Jimbo is a sitting national championship coach who has an unfinished trophy to prove it. The only thing left is to blame the players. Yes, it must be the players’ fault for being lazy and stupid. That’s the only explanation. In fairness, they have a point. Any player who chooses to play for aggy clearly isn’t the brightest bulb in the box.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18706

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13 hours ago, Lobwedgephil said:

I'm not calling for the Ags to win the whole thing but remember that Nick Saban went 8-5 in year THREE before winning it all a season later. Jimbo dropped three straight his second season before going 66-10 in his next 76. Point is, the head coach has seen it up close and personal a couple of times so he knows the challenges in front of him

this narrative cracks me up... Bear Bryant with Saban as DC and Jimbo as OC would go 8-4 at aggy. It doesn't mean shit what coaches did at other more or less normal places. you are aggy, that is the problem   

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markstanco

markstanco 12507

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48 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

My favorite is when they ask his opinions on specific recruits as if he’s watched a second of their play or the other guys at the recruit’s positions.

"Hey Looch...what do you think about our commit Dallas Walker from Tennessee?"

**Runs to hudl to watch a highlight video**

"He is quick for his size, sheds blocks well and runs downhill.  A little time in the weight room will make this kid in to a beast.  He doesnt have  a lot of D1 offers from the blue bloods, but since Jimbo is interested, he will."  

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CHEF RIBS W/ THE HAMM YALL

CHEF RIBS W/ THE HAMM YALL 1254

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6 minutes ago, markstanco said:

"Hey Looch...what do you think about our commit Dallas Walker from Tennessee?"

**Runs to hudl to watch a highlight video**

"He is quick for his size, sheds blocks well and runs downhill.  A little time in the weight room will make this kid in to a beast.  He doesnt have  a lot of D1 offers from the blue bloods, but since Jimbo is interested, he will."  

Most of the 247 "evaluations" are pretty terrible too. They watch the first 3 minutes of a Hudl and then proceed to spew a stream of consciousness, like this:

"Good size for his frame. Attacks the ball at the highest point. Has ability to get separation on vertical routes and does so better than most of his peers. Elite speed and home run threat on every play. Needs to spend time in the weight room in college to better handle press coverage." Etc. for about 10 more phrases.

Here's an example for Quentin Johnson from 247. Just a long ramble:

"Has a tall, angular build. Currently long and thin, Johnston should add considerable muscle mass to his frame once he gets in a Power 5 strength and conditioning program. Is among one of the more athletic wide receivers in the 2020 cycle. An incredibly bouncy athlete who is an above-the-rim player and big-time dunker in basketball and a state medalist high jumper. Transferred that athleticism to the football field as a junior. A long-strider with top-end speed. Excels on vertical routes. Has the top gear to blow by opposing corners or take a quick hitch to the house. Plays in an offense with a simplified route tree and will need to refine his route-running skills at the next level. Has the ability to track the ball downfield and make some outstanding catches but will need to continue improving the consistency of his hands. A prospect with a very high physical ceiling, Johnston has the upside of an impact Power 5 wide receiver with the ability to develop into an early round draft pick."

They should come up with a number of dimensions to analyze each player on, and complete that, even if they can't answer all of them instead of an illegible string of text.

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Burt Macklin

Burt Macklin 18998

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14 minutes ago, markstanco said:

"Hey Looch...what do you think about our commit Dallas Walker from Tennessee?"

**Runs to hudl to watch a highlight video**

"He is quick for his size, sheds blocks well and runs downhill.  A little time in the weight room will make this kid in to a beast.  He doesnt have  a lot of D1 offers from the blue bloods, but since Jimbo is interested, he will."  

lulz. As if Looch even takes the time to do that. He just reaches into his bag of cliche sunshine pumping and throws some words on the screen. Dude's expending minimal effort to print money off those yokels. 

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Redneck Mutha

Redneck Mutha 7935

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1 hour ago, Voluminous Banality said:

Aggy is the exact opposite of most fanbases. NOTHING is the head coach's fault. Jimbo is an offensive genius, a master program builder, a phenomenal game-day coach, and an unrivaled recruiter.

When their season tanks, it can’t be Jimbo. His offensive philosophy has worked in “multiple leagues” and his game-planning is without equal. It can’t be a lack of talent—Jimbo has stocked the roster with elite prospects all over the field.

Jimbo is a sitting national championship coach who has an unfinished trophy to prove it. The only thing left is to blame the players. Yes, it must be the players’ fault for being lazy and stupid. That’s the only explanation. In fairness, they have a point. Any player who chooses to play for aggy clearly isn’t the brightest bulb in the box.

It's the aggy way.  If you spend a lot of money on something, it HAS to be the best.  They wouldn't spend that kind of money on something if it wasn't the best.

Spend half a billion on Franken-Kroger Stadium?  Best stadium ever (just don't play loud music or expect working toilets)! 

Spend $73M on a 2 bit law school?  Best law school ever! 

Spend money on high-premium, low-deductible insurance policies bought from Billy Bob Farmer (class of '78 whoop!)?  Best insurance ever! 

Spend $75M on a sitting Natty-winning coach?  Best coach ever!

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texasstrong12

texasstrong12 4668

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5 minutes ago, Lobwedgephil said:

Rumors the Elam may be off the team keep disappearing on texags for some reason. Not sure if related to the post game brawl or not since he didn't play that game. 

This would be a really significant loss. He's been arguably their best DB. If he didn't play against Auburn it has to be some type of suspension I'm guessing. 

 

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20267

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58 minutes ago, texasstrong12 said:

Yeah, it sounds like he was suspended. 

 

After further medical testing, it appears Ausbon took a superman punch to the face followed by a falcon punch to the throat. We think it occured sometime between the first quarter and later that evening. 

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Scholz

Scholz 11933

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2 hours ago, Burt Macklin said:

lulz. As if Looch even takes the time to do that. He just reaches into his bag of cliche sunshine pumping and throws some words on the screen. Dude's expending minimal effort to print money off those yokels. 

Looks like that dump truck expends minimal effort in all aspects.  Except drinking beer.

 

DJKxcGCVYAUcfm8.jpg

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blacklab

blacklab 11850

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3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

let's have question and answer sessions with blacklab and immamac about all things UT football because you know, they run a message board and are experts about tom herman and ut football, the big 12, lincoln riley and any other coach in the big 12.

hey fucker I'm an expert at UT football, and my kids basketball team beat Herman's kid's team so I'm an expert on Herman as well. 

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EZ$

EZ$ 2102

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26 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

Wasn't Luicci or another one of the other tubby aggy ministers of propaganda proclaiming that Herman had completely lost the locker room last year?  How's that working out now?

That was Pawwwll Finebaum, but no doubt echoed by the the aggy boosters...I mean media. 

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