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Weddings during football season

pearlandhorn

By pearlandhorn
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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40,325

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Posted
8 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

My csb... Years ago buddy got engaged and he picked his groomsmen.  All fellow UT grads and he was marrying a UT grad (who is not a football fan).  He comes to us one day and tells us she has picked the date.  Yep, you guessed it: Tx/OU weekend.  All five groomsmen told him on the spot that they were out.  Buddy had to go to his fiancee and explain why she needed to pick a new date.  She was not happy, but finally relented when her father (also a UT grad) got wind of the story and stepped in.

He should have called off the wedding. She sounds like a bitch!

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Masflo

Masflo 10

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Posted

Best friend is getting married in Denver OU weekend (non-UT grad) and another buddy is getting re-married USC weekend. What is wrong with these commies?

Have to go to the Denver wedding, but I am skipping the  2nd wedding during USC. I’ve got priorities and season tickets. I fully disclosed to the USC wedding guy that if it was that weekend that I wasn’t going. 

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Guest

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Got married in March, during SWC hoops tournament. Wife loves to tell people the first thing i did in the hotel room was turn on the TV and see the scores.  Hey, she knew I loved sports waaaaaay before that happened.

 

My kids were born on a Tuesday and a Wednesday, respectively.  They already knew not to fuck with football game days.

 

No fucking weddings during football season.  They know this.  Marry a girl who has more than 2 working brain cells and don't get married from Sep- Jan, or either elope or go to the JP.  If y'all are that fucking stupid, I'll just catch the next time you get married...

Edited by slorch
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,810

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Posted
17 hours ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Fuck that. My wife and I (also a Texas grad) specifically said no to a fall wedding because of football. Its also the same reason we didnt have sex December - March when having kids. No fuss, no muss

She sounds like a keeper pard.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15,346

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Posted
14 hours ago, TornACL said:

All you need to do is start spreading some fake internet news that fall weddings are 6x more likely to end in divorce than spring weddings. That shit will catch on like wildfire and next thing you know, in a few years when a woman announces her October wedding date, her friends will gasp and say "Why would you DO such a thing?"

https://goo.gl/images/q9VCEy

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5,976

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What about work obligations.  Had a boss that was absolutely not going to let me off for 2004 TX/OU because TN was playing at the same time and they were going to be short handed.  

So I waited until about an hour before game time and “dropped” a case of Coronas on a wet floor.  For effect, I rolled around a bit to draw some blood.

Boss comes running back and sees me writhing on the floor and sends me home.  Best part is that he told me to take the unbroken bottles with me so that I would feel better.

In retrospect, kind of crazy, but it was TX/OU.  

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Guest

Guest

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I work SB every year right up until 4:45 or so.  It’s perfect.  Walk in the house right at National Anthem and cerveza jumps into my hand.

Perfect.

Tech’s 11am starts last season sucked, but I blame the program more than my job...Get good again so we can have night games at The Jones.

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bigcigar

bigcigar 1,164

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Posted
On 4/25/2018 at 3:46 PM, Zepol87 said:

Cousin got married last year on Tx/OU. I didn't go and instead sit next to a few shagsters at game. That part of the family is still pretty pissed 

My cousin pulled that one year. My dad, brother and I chose to go to the game instead of the wedding. 10 years later, some of the family is still pissed about it, but watching the horns pull off the upset 45-35 was worth every bit of scorn. She got divorced a few years later anyway.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8,349

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18 hours ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Fuck that. My wife and I (also a Texas grad) specifically said no to a fall wedding because of football. Its also the same reason we didnt have sex December - March when having kids. No fuss, no muss

Fucked this one up big time 14 years ago -- daughter's b'day always falls on or around OU weekend. She was born the day before 12-0. 

 

 And then my ex and I got divorced and I remarried someone born in mid October. 

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9,046

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Posted
On 4/25/2018 at 1:01 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

I’ve told this story on Shaggy before...

2003 (I think).  Wedding in Knoxville: one of my best friends.  It’s a bye week for TN but we’re playing Arky.  No prob.  I’ll miss the first quarter and watch the rest at the hotel bar during the reception.

I catch the score on the way out of the church.  Texas is down early.  Get to the reception and damn bar is closed.  A father of another friend comes up and tells me he can’t believe Arky is up 25 points at the half.  Seriously?  F it.  I’m just going to drink  myself happy.

10 hours later I get home and I’m drunk enough to want to know wtf happened to TX.  Turn on the VCR.  Halftime.  Wait a minute.  We’re only down by like 7.  I’m giddy.  Friend’s father was effing with me.  Maybe we won!!! 

90 mins later and we really did end up losing.  So, I got to experience Texas losing to Arkansas twice in one day.  Good times.

That beats being down by 25 and having your wife look out the back window and tell you, “Honey, I think our boat just sank.”

/ CSB (with pics) for another day. 

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8,349

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Quote

Then there is the couple whose huge RV resembles the fuselage of a Boeing 737. What sacrifices have they made for their devotion to Alabama football? "Let's see," muses the husband. "We missed our daughter's wedding. We told her, just don't get married on a game day and we'll be there, hundred percent, and she went off and picked the third Saturday in October, which everybody knows is when Alabama plays Tennessee, so we told her, hey, we got a ballgame to go to. We made the reception -- went there as soon as the game was over."

From Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer.

More than half of Bama sided with the parents on that one. 

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Longboard Horn

Longboard Horn 40,325

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5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

What about work obligations.  Had a boss that was absolutely not going to let me off for 2004 TX/OU because TN was playing at the same time and they were going to be short handed.  

So I waited until about an hour before game time and “dropped” a case of Coronas on a wet floor.  For effect, I rolled around a bit to draw some blood.

Boss comes running back and sees me writhing on the floor and sends me home.  Best part is that he told me to take the unbroken bottles with me so that I would feel better.

In retrospect, kind of crazy, but it was TX/OU.  

Whatever it takes. I’ve got to admit, that took some brass balls.

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ImissWallyPryor

ImissWallyPryor 9,046

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8 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

What about work obligations.  Had a boss that was absolutely not going to let me off for 2004 TX/OU because TN was playing at the same time and they were going to be short handed.  

So I waited until about an hour before game time and “dropped” a case of Coronas on a wet floor.  For effect, I rolled around a bit to draw some blood.

Boss comes running back and sees me writhing on the floor and sends me home.  Best part is that he told me to take the unbroken bottles with me so that I would feel better.

In retrospect, kind of crazy, but it was TX/OU.  

Does piss make a cut sting?

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Disco Missile

Disco Missile 456

Posted
Posted

Look man there's rules, you know?

You never get married:
- On a Saturday in the fall in the south
- On opening weekend of hunting season (duck and deer certainly)
- On Mardi Gras weekend

And if you're invited on one of those dates then you're only obligated to go:
- If it's immediate family (and there will be a reckoning)
- Dad/Mom say you need to

And if your wife is turning the screws to get you to go:
- See what you can get in trade, or
- Misbehave to the point she thinks twice next time

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11,964

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Posted (edited)
On 4/28/2018 at 12:57 AM, Longboard Horn said:

The wedding I’m having to go to (I’m a groomsman for it) is on October 20th. Thank god Texas has a bye that week.

I feel that this is the one loophole.

If your wedding party comes from the same school and its a bye week, I say that's ok.

But you can't be upset if people you invited don't show up because their school is playing. 

Hell, if Texas has a bye and aggy has a SEC game then you might actually enjoy the wedding more!

 

NM. Looked at schedule. Aggy is off too. You're out of luck my friend.

Edited by Dnaguy
More info has come to light.
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HornPhD

HornPhD 1,368

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My wife and I were married in Austin on 11/5/05....road game against Baylor. We had a large number of guests from CA, NY, and Houston, so not having a home game that weekend helped. Originally planned for a Spring wedding; however, her Dad got sick and they didn't know how much time he had left. My wife and I checked the schedule for the best game to miss.

My friends and I watched the game on 6th while having a few beers. 

csb/My wife and I had tickets to the NC game that season with flight and hotel booked. A day or two before we're supposed to leave, she gets a really bad cold that leaves her bedridden. Long story short, I sold her ticket and went to the game with my best friend.

 

 

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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The women do it as an ego test.  They want to see how many people's lives they can affect with this date request.  Nobody wants to get married on a balmy September afternoon.  She chooses it so she can see if she can manipulate the lives of hundreds of people.   She's more than likely headed for a life of county clerical work and pre-diabetes, so why not let her have a day all to herself with no TV's?  Texas needs to keep its healthy supply of chunky gals with shitty personalities.  Why not start it off on an honest note?  Are we gonna suddenly pretend most of these women are bitchy globs of shit anyway?  

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BurntOrangeSatire, LLC

BurntOrangeSatire, LLC 157

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10 minutes ago, Lobo said:

The women do it as an ego test.  They want to see how many people's lives they can affect with this date request.  Nobody wants to get married on a balmy September afternoon.  She chooses it so she can see if she can manipulate the lives of hundreds of people.   She's more than likely headed for a life of county clerical work and pre-diabetes, so why not let her have a day all to herself with no TV's?  Texas needs to keep its healthy supply of chunky gals with shitty personalities.  Why not start it off on an honest note?  Are we gonna suddenly pretend most of these women are bitchy globs of shit anyway?  

Do you need a hug. Because it sounds like you need a fucking hug. 

 

Or a divorce. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Had a great spring wedding with a woman who after 12 years of marriage and one kid is all of 120 pounds and 5'9"  She's also joined me in football season tickets for the last 18 years.

I think somehow I'll make it.  My point was that women know the schedule, they know people's preferences for how they spend their autumnal weekends.  They do this shit during football games so they can feel extra special, like they got one over on people.  These women usually turn out extra fat later in life.  But you do you Brutha... 

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BurntOrangeSatire, LLC

BurntOrangeSatire, LLC 157

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Had a great spring wedding with a woman who after 12 years of marriage and one kid is all of 120 pounds and 5'9"  She's also joined me in football season tickets for the last 18 years.

I think somehow I'll make it.  My point was that women know the schedule, they know people's preferences for how they spend their autumnal weekends.  They do this shit during football games so they can feel extra special, like they got one over on people.  These women usually turn out extra fat later in life.  But you do you Brutha... 

giphy.gif

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ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21,154

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Had a great spring wedding with a woman who after 12 years of marriage and one kid is all of 120 pounds and 5'9"  She's also joined me in football season tickets for the last 18 years.

I think somehow I'll make it.  My point was that women know the schedule, they know people's preferences for how they spend their autumnal weekends.  They do this shit during football games so they can feel extra special, like they got one over on people.  These women usually turn out extra fat later in life.  But you do you Brutha... 

It's cool that we can change rep on the new site.  For now you get a like because I'm sure you're looking for nudez you can post of your wife.  I'll wait right here...

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Hizzaz Mahdoud

Hizzaz Mahdoud 194

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Posted
On 4/27/2018 at 7:43 AM, Knoxtnhorn said:

What about work obligations.  Had a boss that was absolutely not going to let me off for 2004 TX/OU because TN was playing at the same time and they were going to be short handed.  

So I waited until about an hour before game time and “dropped” a case of Coronas on a wet floor.  For effect, I rolled around a bit to draw some blood.

Boss comes running back and sees me writhing on the floor and sends me home.  Best part is that he told me to take the unbroken bottles with me so that I would feel better.

In retrospect, kind of crazy, but it was TX/OU.  

I admire your commitment and your ingenuity. Not to mention your choice of beverage. Hats off, and horns up to you, sir!

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11,763

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I know I told this story on the other site, but my younger brother is a Tech grad and also a big college football fan. its sometime in early 2007, His then- fiance (also Tech) doesnt give a shit about football.  He relayed this story to me

She originally wanted to schedule the wedding in October 2007.  My brother being slightly intelligent looked up the date she picked.   yep, OU.  

Brother knew that wouldnt work. He flat out told his fiance that AUS-97 would absolutely not attend the wedding if it was OU day.  She laughed, and said of course I would be there.   He said something like, " I know my brother, and I know his #1 requirement is going to OU, he will go to that game over going to our wedding."  She basically called him an idiot, and grumbled a bit and I guess there were some other conflicts so she finally agreed to be a June bride in 2008.

However, my brother did not forget the conversation.  So once they settled on the day, he dared her to call me and let me think it was Oct 2007.  I have no idea of any of the above discussions before we talk.

So I get this call sometime in 2007, my future SIL calls and says she's set the wedding date (important- she doesnt tell me the date yet), and that they want me to be a groomsman.  I tell her I am honored. 

She says something like awesome, butters me up some and then and says that it will be October Xth.   I pause because that date sounds familiar.  (hey, i didnt have a smart phone yet), so I kind of stall while getting to my computer to confirm that they fucking picked OU.

As I hear the story from Her years later, my entire voice and demeanor changed.  She later said it was the darkest conversation she has ever had with me.

All I remember is.... I am fucking pissed! my fucking brother knows better than to fuck with OU, and he let this fucking happen!  I ask what time is the wedding (its in Dallas),  2pm.  MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!  But I had accepted my fate, I know this is gonna piss my parents off something fierce, and probably her family as well, but I go super calm, and tell the future SIL that I really love my brother, and I will love her as well, but Ive got plans for that Saturday and I cant go to the wedding.

She plays it up, "what do you mean you have plans, you are part of the wedding you need to be there.... blah blah"  and I just say, I cant go its OU.   She whines a bit says you would go to a football game over MY wedding.... and I answer yes. 

and then I hear my brother laughing his ass off in the background, saying "I TOLD YOU!!!!"  and thats when they tell me the wedding really is in June.   whew.

to this day she still is convinced that I would have gone to the wedding in Oct....  I have said I might have missed another game, but I wasnt missing OU.

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DaysOff

DaysOff 7,951

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Posted

I watched us beat okie state with a last second field goal in '98 on a Sony Watchman in the parking lot of a church while my wife's sister was getting married. She's been divorced twice since that day. I stand by my decision. 

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LonghornJones

LonghornJones 837

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Posted
On 4/25/2018 at 3:46 PM, Zepol87 said:

Cousin got married last year on Tx/OU. I didn't go and instead sit next to a few shagsters at game. That part of the family is still pretty pissed 

Same, but back in '08'ish...in Dallas. She hasn't spoken to me since. I'm okay with it to this day.

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Dnaguy

Dnaguy 11,964

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14 hours ago, HornPhD said:

My wife and I were married in Austin on 11/5/05....road game against Baylor. We had a large number of guests from CA, NY, and Houston, so not having a home game that weekend helped. Originally planned for a Spring wedding; however, her Dad got sick and they didn't know how much time he had left. My wife and I checked the schedule for the best game to miss.

My friends and I watched the game on 6th while having a few beers. 

csb/My wife and I had tickets to the NC game that season with flight and hotel booked. A day or two before we're supposed to leave, she gets a really bad cold that leaves her bedridden. Long story short, I sold her ticket and went to the game with my best friend.

 

 

 

This thread:

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Angry Gorilla

Angry Gorilla 1,768

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Posted

My brother and his wife are both Tech grads, and decided to get married on a UT-Tech weekend.  He is one of those pretend fans that talks like he is a huge football fan, but probably couldn't name 5 people on the roster.

All of the other groomsmen were Tech grads and we got to sit around the church (no beer) huddled around our phones.  Tech beat our ass too that weekend, and the other dildo Tech groomsmen were insufferable.

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Vertigo

Vertigo 20,285

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7 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

My brother and his wife are both Tech grads, and decided to get married on a UT-Tech weekend.  He is one of those pretend fans that talks like he is a huge football fan, but probably couldn't name 5 people on the roster.

All of the other groomsmen were Tech grads and we got to sit around the church (no beer) huddled around our phones.  Tech beat our ass too that weekend, and the other dildo Tech groomsmen were insufferable.

OMG-thats-awful-GIF.gif

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kopp0e

kopp0e 1,135

Posted
Posted
On 4/27/2018 at 10:19 PM, Disco Missile said:

Look man there's rules, you know?

You never get married:
- On a Saturday in the fall in the south
- On opening weekend of hunting season (duck and deer certainly)
- On Mardi Gras weekend

And if you're invited on one of those dates then you're only obligated to go:
- If it's immediate family (and there will be a reckoning)
- Dad/Mom say you need to

And if your wife is turning the screws to get you to go:
- See what you can get in trade, or
- Misbehave to the point she thinks twice next time

I approve of this as a "Golden Rulebook of Common Sense"...

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