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A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]

Francisco 2.0

By Francisco 2.0
in Cloak Room

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Beau Vine
Beau Vine

To be fair, President Trump’s four years in office weren’t so bad, except when when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans

Bama Chick
Bama Chick

Y’all about to get a great visual representation of Cullman, Alabama. Only good things to come out of Cullman are the Britt brothers (Roll Tide!) and orange rolls from All Steak restaurant. That pla

ChiTownDoc
ChiTownDoc

You seem really pissed off for a nontrumper.  Just laugh at the trumpers, bro.  They’re really gullible dumbfucks who worship this orange blob…you know, people completely unlike yourself.  

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Blotto

Blotto 23585

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

they have unwittingly created the greatest prank gift of all time.

 

3 hours ago, Thrawn said:

I wonder if I can reprogram that figurine to say "I love pole!"?  That would make for a good WTH? type gift for those MAGA types in my family.

I actually thought about something similar awhile ago.

1.) Have some shithole factory in China churn out a bunch of cheap figurines like this

image.jpeg.53fdd47bc4e6556c902655e43c2a81cd.jpeg

2.) add  the ability to record any audio you want, and have it translated to sound like Trump 

3.) Sell it for like $15 and make millions

"I made Ted Cruz lick my balls. He licked my balls like a dog"

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Gatorubet

Gatorubet 30325

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, The Dog said:

????????

 

I think Trump and the My Pillow guy have found a diary saying that when the 13th and 14th Amendments were passed, many of the Senators were crossing their fingers. And so they weren’t really passed. If he is elected again, his Supreme Court will fix that.

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29197

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13 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

 

i don't know what was said during the rest of that interview, but the tweet is misleading.  even this moron didn't say what the caption said.  in fact, she kinda laughed it off and said "i don't know" in response to a yes or no question.  no reason to exaggerate when the truth is perfectly stupid.

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HornPhD

HornPhD 1369

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Blotto said:

 

I actually thought about something similar awhile ago.

1.) Have some shithole factory in China churn out a bunch of cheap figurines like this

image.jpeg.53fdd47bc4e6556c902655e43c2a81cd.jpeg

2.) add  the ability to record any audio you want, and have it translated to sound like Trump 

3.) Sell it for like $15 and make millions

"I made Ted Cruz lick my balls. He licked my balls like a dog"

How do I invest in this idea? 

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89859

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

What the hell could he possibly be announcing this early?  Best guesses are a running mate, actual proof of 2020 election theft, or Jack Smith is currently fucking Ivanka in the ass and he at least let Trump watch?  

Running mate.

If he had found actual proof of election fraud, he would still be talking about it nonstop 24 hours later.

Outshot chance that it’s something about DeSantis,

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Yeah it’s a little early. The election is two years away.

Yeah, tell that to the 77 year old morbidly obese guy that declared 23 months early that he'd run an 80 hours a week campaign across the 3rd largest nation in the world.  If we were half smart, we'd figure out some con to make sure he zig-zags across the country at all hours of the night picking up checks and run himself into the fucking grave.  

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atomheartbevo

atomheartbevo 89859

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Irwin F Fletcher said:

I'd say it's a little early to announce a running mate. He'd be admitting he isn't charismatic enough to win the nomination alone.

1 hour ago, Red Five said:

Yeah it’s a little early. The election is two years away.

We know it's nothing about election fraud, and in fact even if he discovered some, we know it wouldn't be close to affecting the outcome of any major races (and would probably be offset by actual Republican election fraud), and the elections wouldn't be done over anyways,  plus he needs to keep the election fraud train going to pump up the rubes.  And like I said, if it was actual serious election fraud, he'd be losing his mind right now and wouldn't be holding it back for tomorrow.

Dirt on DeSantis - he desperately needs this.  He needs DeSantis knocked out of the race ASAP, because somebody had to have told him about the recent polls.

Running mate - would probably get somebody who spends their time trying to tear down DeSantis, but it would need to be somebody else who has actual power right now like another governor, because Trump knows he's impotent compared to DeSantis right now - Trump whines on Truth.Social while DeSantis is forming panels to challenge the feds.  Let's pray it's not Hot Wheels, because he will go full-on Handmaid's Tale with Texas to please Trump.  But Abbott is useless though, because Texas is already in the bag for Trump, and ideally it be a battleground state's governor.

59 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

"The corrupt, disloyal, and unthankful Republican party doesn't deserve me.  I'm running as an independent!"

In thinking about it, my guess was that he would come back to Twitter, but he saw Kanye get booted right back off, and the thought of a social media platform that he has no say in probably scares him because that was stunningly humiliating.  Plus, because of the humiliation, he might be skittish about rejoining something that made him look like a loser.  Then again, Elon fucked that up so badly with trying to get Trump back, I'm sure Trump would have his lawyers get something in writing about never being booted again and/or some kind of payments beyond the normal monetization, and Elon would have to kiss his ass (which he's already done).

But a MAGA Party?  Shit, Trump would absolutely go there.  Lot more grifting opportunities, and if he thinks he won't win again, it's the best bet for him fucking over the GQP, which he already feels is betraying him.

James Franco GIF

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted

Yeah, I guess the new party he was inevitably gonna break off and form after the 2024 Convention, could be it.  I mean, if you're gonna do it anyways...why not do it now when you can raise so much more money outside the more structured primary/FEC season?  This way, he doesn't leave 14 months of fundraising graft on the table and let the RNC take big chunks under the watchful eye of FEC/media.  Other than a few cursory bullshit reports to FEC, the new MAGA party PAC or whatever the fuck they call it, in addition his 9 other Political Action Cons (or PAC's if you will) can just rake in cash from the 25mm stupids going down with his ship for the next 23 months.  Not a bad idea actually.  

Either that or he really does think that whoever called his office telling him they wanted to elect him Speaker of the House was being serious.  

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Guest

Posted
Posted

I just don't feel like it is in Trump's orbit not to tease that sort of break for months in advance. He wouldn't just announce it... he'd tease it out to keep himself in the news for more cycles.

Plus, someone would have leaked it already. That administration leaked like crazy.

My guess is that it's some lawsuit or kicking off a rally schedule or something.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted

they finally found the actual Philadelphia Four Seasons hotel?  

Eric's 23-and-me came back and he's not really Trump's son?

The infrastructure two-week thing is finally coming to fruition?  

He's hired that ever-elusive legal dream team to overturn 2020 elections?

He got his first non-medicated boner since 1997?

Melania has swallowed enough cum from other men to qualify for the 2024 Olympic games in 9 sports?

He got the 6th word correct in Man-Woman-Person-Camera-TV?  (It was "SOAP")

He figured out how to tie a necktie?  

He knows who killed Epstein but can't say unless we elect him Supreme Leader?

He tried some of Junior's "Gum Cleaning Powder" and has never felt so fucking alive?  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted

So basically he's telling the Republican Party, nominate whatever ticket you want in Summer of 2024 who isn't me...I'm going to murder them both after Inauguration Day and ascend to my rightful place as President of the United States.  And because I didn't actually run in November 2024 general, I can still technically run one more time in 2028 and stay in office until January 2033.  

Way to go Trump.  You actually thought this one through.  Thoughts and Prayers to the other two guys.  

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

Dumbest.  Timeline.

Oh Biff, you dumb bastard.  Wait until I tell you who he's gonna appoint as his VP in 2025 without any voter input, after the unfortunate demise of the newly elected GOP POTUS/VPOTUS during the same horrible accident.  The plan is insane, filled with morons at every twist and turn, and completely demonic.  But I'll give him this, it's technically and constitutionally plausible.  that's a big step for him.

Edited by YGIFS
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Ghost of LL

Ghost of LL 15545

Posted
Posted

As much as I would love him to announce that he's running for president as an Independent, I'm sure it's the speaker's race.

But that's delicious in its own right.  It means Kevin McCarthy definitely won't have 218 by January 3 (or any other date that's reasonably foreseeable).  And it really does raise the possibility of a weird moderate Republican (or even Democrat) compromise candidate that gets Democratic approval.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19453

Posted
Posted

Yeah, he doesn't realize he just drives the winner of the race to the centre-right where some Democrats will rally around a candidate, thus replacing Nancy's desire to punch him with an effective moderate speaker who won't bother with theatrics and performative subpoenas but work with the kinda "center" ~300 members of both parties to continue doing shit.  

The other dangling sword (sabre, not mushroom) over this announcement is that he has successfully negotiated for the return of Marine Whelan from Russia.  Which of course violates about 10 treaties, 100 U.S. laws, and 50 international laws as he is no longer in elected federal office.  But his party base won't care, they'll clamor he did what Biden failed to do.  Someone will ask, "Wait, being out of office...what could Trump possibly have had laying around the house that he could horse-trade to Russia for such a high-profile prisoner?"  And thoughts and prayers on taht person's unfortunate suicide this Christmas, the holidays can be so tough on people..

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Macanudo

Macanudo 13019

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Posted
1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

If that happens, somebody needs to be in the room with a camera on Kevin McCarthy when he hears the news. 

You don't think McCarthy already knows if that's it?

I don't think that's it though.   I can't believe that 218 Republicans would vote him.   

Right guys?!?    Right?????

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