A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]

[Nivek 16,928]

@Brisketexan

We missed our opportunity! 

 

[High Plains Drifter 11,049]

 

A rapist, a bible salesman, a shoe salesman, and a bankrupt businessman walk into a bar. 

Bartender says "What can I get for ya, Donnie?"

[C-Man 27,222]

1 minute ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

A rapist, a bible salesman, a shoe salesman, and a bankrupt businessman walk into a bar. 

Bartender says "What can I get for ya, Donnie?"

[Pato del Muerto 52,493]

Bartender says, with tears in his eyes, it’s on the house, sir. Thank you for all you’ve done and will do. 
 

So Don says that’s great and announces aloud that everyone is drinking on his tab for the rest of the night. 
 

bar goes under the next day, and Don is back on the golf course making sure his deconstructed berder will be served with ketchup instead of sliced tomato. 

[dcbc 14,482]

6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Bartender says, with tears in his eyes, it’s on the house, sir. Thank you for all you’ve done and will do. 
 

So Don says that’s great and announces aloud that everyone is drinking on his tab for the rest of the night. 
 

bar goes under the next day, and Don is back on the golf course making sure his deconstructed berder will be served with ketchup instead of sliced tomato. 

. . . with a poodle under one arm and a 2-foot salami under the other.  Bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink.  Guy says . . . 

 

Edited March 28 by dcbc

[Keef 764]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

How many crooks from the GFC went to jail?  Oh, the SEC will drag its nuts all over a day-trader that illegally profited by $5K whose best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard a tip from this guy who knows this person who's working with the girl who saw a corporate memo about a new product release.  But the real crooks that steal millions / billions?  Fuck all happens to them except having to manage a "family office" for a couple of years and never having to admit guilt.

That's all political.  The lack of prosecution from the GFC was a political decision and one made above the heads of the SEC (which I can't believe I'm defending).

[Surly Bevo 24,908]

14 hours ago, TexasEd said:

You'd think that if the stories were true that he would bust into flame holding a bible

Which stories we talking about?

The ones about Trump or the ones about there being a God?

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,397]

12 hours ago, C-Man said:

Who was the worst bible salesman?

Candidate #1

Candidate #2

I love how Trump's basically re-enacting the Bible-selling scene from Paper Moon but his followers are too stupid to realize it.

 

 

[Constant 6,732]

2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

A rapist, a bible salesman, a shoe salesman, and a bankrupt businessman walk into a bar. 

Bartender says "What can I get for ya, Donnie?"

Not sure why, but this reminds me of one of his deposition fuckups: when fat ass tried to explain that E. Jean Carroll was not his type, he mistook her in a photograph for his wife at the time.

I hope the rapist dies soon. 
 

 

[TheStoicPaisano 9,922]

13 hours ago, C-Man said:

Who was the worst bible salesman?

Candidate #1

Candidate #2

#3

 

[High Plains Drifter 11,049]

16 minutes ago, TheStoicPaisano said:

#3

 

 

appropriate avatar is appropriate

 

 

[Ted Lange 16,085]

 

Edited March 28 by Ted Lange

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,906]

So basically, it's all of the documents that Trump violates and ignores in one convenient package

[royiv 9,308]

18 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

He should have priced these $500 a piece. Every right wing mega church can now funnel easy $$$ to the orange anti christ 

Just gave me a business idea. Knock these things off and set-up a stand outside of Lakewood Church peddling them.

[GenXer 2,875]

4 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So basically, it's all of the documents that Trump violates and ignores in one convenient package

He could even advertise that some have classified documents in them Willy Wonka golden ticket style. Of course, documents have been declassified using stable genius brain power. Found documents get lucky winner into four seasons landscaping for free.

[Fastbreak 3,985]

He should have priced it at $66.60 with $6.66 shipping and handling. Would have been more on brand.

[GhostOfTomJoad 9,324]

I answered a call from an unknown number yesterday because a colleague had just texted me that someone was going to call me with questions about one of our products. Turned out it was an old lady who addressed me as "James"and thanked me for being a supporter of conservative values, but now my help was needed to ensure election integrity.

She rambled for a minute about the threat at hand but also listed recent wins they'd had in Michigan by "cleaning" voter registration lists. I said just enough to get her hopes up & when she thought she'd closed the deal with "James" and could I be counted on for the recommended $250 donation I asked how much did one need to donate to get a God Bless the USA Bible?

"OH gee, we don't distribute those. That's separate from us."

James: "What if I donate $500? Can you get me a Bible signed by Trump?"

Her: "if you sign up to be a repeating donor we have several patriotic items including pictures, flags & t-shirts! [Excitedly] Would you like to do that, "James?"

James: "how much for a picture signed by Stormy Daniels saying 'it's really, really tiny?'"

"Click"

[WhatTheBuck 28,779]

47 minutes ago, Fastbreak said:

He should have priced it at $66.60 with $6.66 shipping and handling. Would have been more on brand.

That total would’ve been $73.26. No one would notice. 

[Bojack 2,081]

17 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I answered a call from an unknown number yesterday because a colleague had just texted me that someone was going to call me with questions about one of our products. Turned out it was an old lady who addressed me as "James"and thanked me for being a supporter of conservative values, but now my help was needed to ensure election integrity.

She rambled for a minute about the threat at hand but also listed recent wins they'd had in Michigan by "cleaning" voter registration lists. I said just enough to get her hopes up & when she thought she'd closed the deal with "James" and could I be counted on for the recommended $250 donation I asked how much did one need to donate to get a God Bless the USA Bible?

"OH gee, we don't distribute those. That's separate from us."

James: "What if I donate $500? Can you get me a Bible signed by Trump?"

Her: "if you sign up to be a repeating donor we have several patriotic items including pictures, flags & t-shirts! [Excitedly] Would you like to do that, "James?"

James: "how much for a picture signed by Stormy Daniels saying 'it's really, really tiny?'"

>

Her: Who is Stormy Daniels?

[DigglerontheHoof 21,196]

23 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I answered a call from an unknown number yesterday because a colleague had just texted me that someone was going to call me with questions about one of our products. Turned out it was an old lady who addressed me as "James"and thanked me for being a supporter of conservative values, but now my help was needed to ensure election integrity.

She rambled for a minute about the threat at hand but also listed recent wins they'd had in Michigan by "cleaning" voter registration lists. I said just enough to get her hopes up & when she thought she'd closed the deal with "James" and could I be counted on for the recommended $250 donation I asked how much did one need to donate to get a God Bless the USA Bible?

"OH gee, we don't distribute those. That's separate from us."

James: "What if I donate $500? Can you get me a Bible signed by Trump?"

Her: "if you sign up to be a repeating donor we have several patriotic items including pictures, flags & t-shirts! [Excitedly] Would you like to do that, "James?"

James: "how much for a picture signed by Stormy Daniels saying 'it's really, really tiny?'"

>

I assume she hung up at that point. 

[GhostOfTomJoad 9,324]

I assume she hung up at that point. 

Yeah. Had to go back & edit since it didn't like the characters I inserted.

And I assume she had a cheat sheet with names & buzzwords that signal her to hang up.

The curious thing to me is just how far one can reverse troll these fuckers? I kept ignoring her calling me "James," but if someone wanted to string them along until James Deez-Nuts of 123 Dingleberry Lane, Muledick, TX tries to make up a phony CC number how far could he get?

[RomaVicta 29,907]

20 hours ago, Ted Lange said:

 

And I should know. I've cashed in on cornball patriotism more than anybody. Hell, I'm the one that taught Don how to hug the flag and profit.

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free

Just need another invasion

To make my fiddy and three.

Edited March 29 by RomaVicta
Not tree. Flag!

[DigglerontheHoof 21,196]

2 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Yeah. Had to go back & edit since it didn't like the characters I inserted.

And I assume she had a cheat sheet with names & buzzwords that signal her to hang up.

The curious thing to me is just how far one can reverse troll these fuckers? I kept ignoring her calling me "James," but if someone wanted to string them along until James Deez-Nuts of 123 Dingleberry Lane, Muledick, TX tries to make up a phony CC number how far could he get?

From time to time I like to call MyPillow and lead them to believe I'm going to buy something before I ask them what it's like to work for a company owned by a drug-crazed lunatic.  Once that subject is broached....click. 

[RomaVicta 29,907]

39 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I answered a call from an unknown number yesterday because a colleague had just texted me that someone was going to call me with questions about one of our products. Turned out it was an old lady who addressed me as "James"and thanked me for being a supporter of conservative values, but now my help was needed to ensure election integrity.

She rambled for a minute about the threat at hand but also listed recent wins they'd had in Michigan by "cleaning" voter registration lists. I said just enough to get her hopes up & when she thought she'd closed the deal with "James" and could I be counted on for the recommended $250 donation I asked how much did one need to donate to get a God Bless the USA Bible?

"OH gee, we don't distribute those. That's separate from us."

James: "What if I donate $500? Can you get me a Bible signed by Trump?"

Her: "if you sign up to be a repeating donor we have several patriotic items including pictures, flags & t-shirts! [Excitedly] Would you like to do that, "James?"

James: "how much for a picture signed by Stormy Daniels saying 'it's really, really tiny?'"

"Click"
 

Beautifully done. No profanity, just counter-annoyance.

 

[Al Czervik 1,229]

1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

 

Just need another invasion

To make my fiddy and three.

Belongs in the music thread.

[dcbc 14,482]

3 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Yeah. Had to go back & edit since it didn't like the characters I inserted.

And I assume she had a cheat sheet with names & buzzwords that signal her to hang up.

The curious thing to me is just how far one can reverse troll these fuckers? I kept ignoring her calling me "James," but if someone wanted to string them along until James Deez-Nuts of 123 Dingleberry Lane, Muledick, TX tries to make up a phony CC number how far could he get?

Back before Google Call Screen, if I happened to pick up, I'd ask if they could hold on a second, put the phone by the computer speaker, and pull up some annoying Hold music on Youtube to see how long they'd wait.

[Gatorubet 30,235]

7 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Back before Google Call Screen, if I happened to pick up, I'd ask if they could hold on a second, put the phone by the computer speaker, and pull up some annoying Hold music on Youtube to see how long they'd wait.

great band name

[Horn Dog 9,845]

3 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Yeah. Had to go back & edit since it didn't like the characters I inserted.

And I assume she had a cheat sheet with names & buzzwords that signal her to hang up.

The curious thing to me is just how far one can reverse troll these fuckers? I kept ignoring her calling me "James," but if someone wanted to string them along until James Deez-Nuts of 123 Dingleberry Lane, Muledick, TX tries to make up a phony CC number how far could he get?

Fantastic idea. Tell them you want to be a repeat donator of $5000/ month.  Then use this to generate a fake CC number.  It will keep getting declined but tell them to try another.  Rinse and repeat.  Waste an hour of their time then say,  gosh I just wanted to donate $60k a year to your cause but I guess Biden and BLM are preventing this transaction!

https://www.creditcardvalidator.org/generator

[atomheartbevo 89,659]

8 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Back before Google Call Screen, if I happened to pick up, I'd ask if they could hold on a second, put the phone by the computer speaker, and pull up some annoying Hold music on Youtube to see how long they'd wait.

Pull up the shootout scene from the movie Heat and start screaming about illegals trying to steal the fentanyl from the child traffickers you are leasing your garage apartment out to.  

[horn4life 3,760]

Well I think this is the perfect Bible for the Bible Thumpin' 2nd and 3rd marriage, Let's Go Brandon sing along "Christian" families of the far right.

Though I think I prefer to refer to this blaspheming version of the Bible Trump is hawking, as... "The Forceful Fingerers Bible!"

[ChiTownDoc 21,153]

On 3/28/2024 at 10:01 AM, Fudge Nuggets said:

How many crooks from the GFC went to jail?  Oh, the SEC will drag its nuts all over a day-trader that illegally profited by $5K whose best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard a tip from this guy who knows this person who's working with the girl who saw a corporate memo about a new product release.  But the real crooks that steal millions / billions?  Fuck all happens to them except having to manage a "family office" for a couple of years and never having to admit guilt.

SEC is just like the NCAA.  Go fuck w the millionaires and let the billionaires do whatever the fuck they want.  

Better be careful with those penny stocks!  Meanwhile dbag Musk does whatever he wants and Trump can raise a few billion on a pump and dump, all good!

[DigglerontheHoof 21,196]

4 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

Beautifully done. No profanity, just counter-annoyance.

 

Am I the only one who lip reads this as “I don’t know”?

[RomaVicta 29,907]

You may be the only one who cares.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,397]

[Art Vandelay 1,712]

Wow. Some things never change.

[TDunk 590]

13 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

I assume she hung up at that point. 

I assumed she was double clicking her mouse. 

[brakeman 28,363]

 

[Mdhorn 5,949]

I'd love to slip a bookmarker with a picture of a gold toilet in a stack of Trump bibles, along with the following scripture: 

“I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.” Trump, 1:1, 2005

 

Edited March 30 by Mdhorn

[Superhero 8,830]

Another No Shit Sherlock article about Truth Social

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/03/28/truth-social-trump-media-slide/73131957007/

 

Quote

DJT stock hits turbulence: More volatility ahead for Trump's high-flying Truth Social

Donald Trump’s namesake social media company burst out of the gate on its first day of trading Tuesday, opening at $70.90 and soaring as high as $79.38 as Trump fans and opportunistic traders bought up shares. But the price faded late in the session and has bounced along at lower levels ever since, ending Thursday down $4.26 at $61.96 on the Nasdaq. The stock exchange was closed Friday in observance of Good Friday.

“The stock will continue to be very volatile, with sharp moves up and down. But the long-term trend will be down,” he said. “The company has about $2 in cash per share, but it will probably burn through that money and the most likely outcome is eventual bankruptcy.”  

 

[4th&Five 41,536]

 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,397]

On 3/28/2024 at 1:08 PM, Constant said:

 

I hope the rapist dies soon. 
 

 

 

But not before he loses in November.

[tx 3 putt 76,935]

 

[ChiTownDoc 21,153]

22 hours ago, brakeman said:

 

Sundae is hot af.  And funny.  Wheelhouse!

 

[tx 3 putt 76,935]

 

[Gatorubet 30,235]

2 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

 

Anyone who can cut off heads of statues at a distance with his razor sharp fedora brim is a cool cat, no matter what he ran over. 

[YGIFS 19,450]

I dunno; being a Trump spokesman in this day and age seems like an odd job.  

[tx 3 putt 76,935]

Why wasn’t this man crying for dear leader ??

 

[Slacks 6,819]

On 3/29/2024 at 6:34 PM, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

What? Me Worry?

[Superhero 8,830]

3 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

 

 

 

 

Do they have gen pop jails in Florida? Because I'd like to see what happens to fat boy in gen pop after they know who he is.

[Gatorubet 30,235]

16 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I dunno; being a Trump spokesman in this day and age seems like an odd job.