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A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]


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9 minutes ago, Dnaguy said:

Any suggestions from said reading list for us STEM guys who like to pretend we are learned?

 

Strange Peaches (Shrake)

Horseman Pass By (McMurtry)

All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy)

 

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3 hours ago, dcbc said:

Most memorable I had were taught by Bump, Graham, and, the GOAT, Adams.

 

But I feel like I would have remembered having a Mr. Fuck in my class.  Then again . . .

 

2 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:


Had Graham for Life and Literature of the Southwest and WWII in Literature and Film. Talked my way into the second as I was not a Normandy Scholar. Looking around the class that was a huge fail on my part because it was full of hotties who gave zero fucks about WWII and were just looking for someone else to pay for their junket to France.

Graham was easily my favorite or second favorite professor at UT. I took Texas Lit twice because the reading list was different the second time and it had a different course number. There were some common titles so I had half the reading already done before the first class of the second go-round. I never missed a Graham class and trust me, I missed a LOT of classes. I had a couple of Journalism profs that were pretty awesome but Graham was a stud. Y'all are probably aware but he passed a couple of years ago.

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3 minutes ago, dcbc said:

 

Strange Peaches (Shrake)

Horseman Pass By (McMurtry)

All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy)

 

All great books. I liked The Last Picture Show better than All the Pretty Horses.

To this list, I'd add The Gay Place by Billy Lee Bramer. Strange Peaches is simply fantastic. I got a chance to meet Bud Shrake and Gary Cartwright at a cocktail hour while at UT. Bud signed my copy of Peaches.

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9 minutes ago, C-Man said:

 

Graham was easily my favorite or second favorite professor at UT. I took Texas Lit twice because the reading list was different the second time and it had a different course number. There were some common titles so I had half the reading already done before the first class of the second go-round. I never missed a Graham class and trust me, I missed a LOT of classes. I had a couple of Journalism profs that were pretty awesome but Graham was a stud. Y'all are probably aware but he passed a couple of years ago.

Graham was amazing and yes, you didn't miss that class.  But Michael Adams was my favorite.  His Modern Short Story class changed me as a reader and a writer, and he wrote the most amazing law school rec. for me.  The guy was simply an incredible teacher.  I'm now sad to report that he passed in November 2022.  Damn.  Was hoping my kid could take a class from him.  I also heard about Graham's passing a few years back.  That was a huge loss.

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5 minutes ago, C-Man said:

All great books. I liked The Last Picture Show better than All the Pretty Horses.

To this list, I'd add The Gay Place by Billy Lee Bramer. Strange Peaches is simply fantastic. I got a chance to meet Bud Shrake and Gary Cartwright at a cocktail hour while at UT. Bud signed my copy of Peaches.

Strange Peaches was my favorite by a mile, and was out of print at the time.  I still have the Gay Place and need to reread it.  I remember its being good, but it was a competitive list that semester.  Bud Shrake was really something.

 

I remember Graham saying how much McMurtry hated All the Pretty Horses.

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2 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

Thought about posting this in the watch thread  . . . 

image.thumb.png.60fa700cb42bc988a9fb6f9fb3174cfb.png

 

That watch would be better if it was of the Micky Mouse variety with Trumps tiny hands as the watch hands.

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2 hours ago, Bookman said:

I think there were a couple 316Ks. This was British Lit. He specifically said we had to read Chaucer in Middle English only and I gave up on that shit after a couple hours. I felt sufficiently bad about it at the time. 

 

1 hour ago, ohchaucer said:


Given your username, ye shouldst feel bad.

94ta4k.jpg

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25 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

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I don’t need to read fiction about my lived experience

i have a raging case of PTSD when it comes to this.

post traumatic shart disorder is no laughing matter

Edited by Dnaguy
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4 hours ago, dcbc said:

Most memorable I had were taught by Bump, Graham, and, the GOAT, Adams.

I had Adams for American Lit since 1910 (subtitle was "God is dead").  Unfortunately I got on his bad side taking another student's graded paper and my own to point out the inconsistency in his grading (admittedly hers was better but not THAT much better).  Plus he gave me a B+ on an essay on mechanism in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and a B on another paper I wrote on Jesus' Son.  I spent 15 hours on the former and maybe two on the latter and I would've given myself an A+ on the former and no better than a C on the latter. 

This was in 2001, mind you.  Clearly I'm over it. 

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1 hour ago, C-Man said:

All great books. I liked The Last Picture Show better than All the Pretty Horses.

To this list, I'd add The Gay Place by Billy Lee Bramer. Strange Peaches is simply fantastic. I got a chance to meet Bud Shrake and Gary Cartwright at a cocktail hour while at UT. Bud signed my copy of Peaches.

Great recs. Read Gay Place in undergrad (American Studies). Billy Lee has an interesting stories for sure.  His LBJ character is a riot and spot on.

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2 hours ago, dcbc said:

 

Strange Peaches (Shrake)

Horseman Pass By (McMurtry)

All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy)

 

I’d say dive into all three of those dudes’ catalogs and don’t look back. McCarthy is singular - won’t even comment on the impact he had on me (moreso in later life than as a student).  McMurtry, to me, is the reading equivalent of a comfortable, beloved pair of slippers. I’ve read most of his books several times and a few of them maybe a dozen (Some Can Whistle, Cadillac Jack, Anything for Billy, All My Friends are Going to Be Strangers).  His non-fiction, particularly his Hollywood stuff, is also great. Also, throw in Goodbye to a River by Graves. 

I loved professor Adams, as well. I miss the program a lot and part of me wishes I’d continued my studies into grad school (BA English ‘98). 
 

And, yes, I did some extensive study on Chaucer and early/middle European Lit. I fell in love with The Canterbury Tales in high school and never shook it. 

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22 minutes ago, ohchaucer said:

McMurtry, to me, is the reading equivalent of a comfortable, beloved pair of slippers.

I agree with everything you wrote.  But I'd probably say that HPB is a less comfortable pair of slippers than a lot of his later works.  Mike Adams gave a 45 minute presentation at a UT Appellate Seminar in the early 2000s entitled "Words Like Sunbeams."  In his spare time, he proofread/edited appellate briefs for some of the bigger, Austin law firms who cared enough to pay for his services. 

 

My notes from that CLE a la Max Fischer:

 

"Best Chapel speaker ever."

 

 

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4 hours ago, strangulation! said:

I'm sure there were multiple 316Ks. Kaulbach was awesome, albeit incredibly politically incorrect, even at that time.

Wasn’t 316K the one you could place out  with an on campus achievement test? That test was about an 8th grade level 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

Wasn’t 316K the one you could place out  with an on campus achievement test? That test was about an 8th grade level 

 

 

No.  There are a couple of 316s, but none of them is "Freshman English 1," or whatever that was.

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Koolbauch(?) was indeed a fuckin trip. I had him the semester after I took a class where Clifford Antone was our semester long guest professor for the history of the blues… antone’s suv would roll into that handicap spot going up the hill in the back of Garrison Hall and stumble down the auditorium steps drunk as hell most days. Surely that was some kinda community service payoff by him. 

pretty damn cool class tho, had pine top Perkins and earl pool ball come play

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3 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

I must be getting senile. I don’t remember ever taking a lower division English course, and we didn’t have AP English at my high school.
 

English BA ‘88

 

I know this needs its own thread by now, and I apologize for mentioning my major two pages ago and starting this threadjack.

 

I didn't take AP English and placed out of Freshman English 1 by taking a CLEP test at orientation.  I took Freshman English 2 the second semester of my Freshman year.  I eventually majored in English.  I have no ideas what the numbers mean apart from the fact that the "3" means its 3 hours.

 

My son, a Freshman, placed out of it by taking a dual credit English course in high school.  Lots of ways to go about it.

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16 minutes ago, dcbc said:

No.  There are a couple of 316s, but none of them is "Freshman English 1," or whatever that was.

During my time, E306 was the one anyone literate placed out of by SAT achievement test.  E316 was mandatory to graduate and came in three flavors, American, British, or World Lit.  I took World from Kaulbach and enjoyed it.  Still have my Norton's from then.

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Sorry to all of us celebrating Trump's suckage with all the English major nostalgia.

 

@immamac, when you get a chance, could you migrate all the English Major BS from the last 2 pages to the thread below.  Oh, and cook and do all the other stuff for the tailgate too.  I paid $20, and I'm comin' in hot!

 

 

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11 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:


I started at a math and science school. I promptly realized those around me were all gifted in such a way that all the studying in the world would never close the gap between my struggles and their natural mathematical abilities. I also realized there was like one woman in the room and I was clearly too dumb for her, never mind what my standards at the time may have been.

I was good at art and languages, so naturally one day I decided to go back to school and study to be a Materials Engineer. It was a character builder seeing as I had to teach myself Trig before I could start taking the Calculus courses. Those weren't bad if all I did was study, which I did while sipping bourbon in order to break and rebuild my brain. Calc I was OK because it was taught in the Religious Cult/Drill Sergeant way that I respond well too, but by Calc 3 I was in a ditch.

Physics was easy when it was throwing baseballs on the moon, but when we moved on to electrical fields I started drooling. I still had a crow-like ability to make things work in Physics lab, but no clue as to why.

Chemistry was fine at first because I clued in that I didn't have to outrun the bear, I just needed to outrun the other campers, and a 30 scaled up to a B. But then I had a lab where we were playing with acid, and my station was next to the sink. The sink where every little bastard in the lab would blast the water full-strength into their test tubes to clean them, spraying me, about 20 times per lab, with diluted acid.

Then one day in Calc 3 I was trying to keep up, all the while this one dude was blurting the answers before the professor could finish the questions. I realized then that I had been the same as him, in language classes. That's when I started fading out of the photo of the Engineering family.

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30 minutes ago, Hefeweizen said:

Great choices… I would throw in the Gay Place and Goodbye to a River for Texas books.

Haven't heard of Goodbye to a River.  Just read a summary, and I need to pick that up.

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4 hours ago, dcbc said:

 

Strange Peaches (Shrake)

Horseman Pass By (McMurtry)

All the Pretty Horses (McCarthy)

 

Spend a couple of years learning Spanish, you can do it if you ditch your English-speaking family and immerse yourself in Mexico City with your new friend(s). Then get a copy of El Periquillo Sarniento by Lizardi, it's the first Mexican novel. Don't get the fucking edited version that every damn Spanish Lit professor doles out to you saying the rest just goes on too long-- NO. Be a DAREDEVIL! Get the whole giant multivolume book and enjoy your picaresque crawl around New Spain. The main character aka the Scruffy Parrot has to be a distant Spanish ancestor of Beavis and Butthead.

The unedited work can be had for about 100 bucks. Yeah sure you can't spare a hundred, and you say you're STEM, right...

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28 minutes ago, hookem2010 said:

What the fuck, guys?

Y'all stay on message almost as well as Trump.

 

7 minutes ago, Hefeweizen said:

First time?  Adult ADD is awesome.

 

Speaking of...

McDonald’s, Pelosi, Debate Moderators: Trump Speech on Border Veers Off Course
After reading from prepared remarks on immigration for 10 minutes, Donald J. Trump used the rest of a news conference to talk about everything else on his mind.

Donald Trump stands inside Trump Tower with a row of American flags behind him and a crowd of reporters in front of him.

Former President Donald J. Trump began his news conference on Thursday in the lobby of Trump Tower, standing in front of seven American flags. He laid a bound folder down on a lectern and declared that he was going to focus on the southern border, where his Democratic rival, Vice President Kamala Harris, is headed on Friday.

That lasted about 10 minutes.

Mr. Trump quickly appeared to grow bored with the remarks he read from, and drifted repeatedly toward other topics. He talked about inflation, accused Ms. Harris of lying about working at McDonald’s years ago and nursed his fury over how the ABC News debate moderators handled his face-off with Ms. Harris nearly three weeks ago.

At the beginning of the news conference, Mr. Trump struggled at times to articulate his thoughts or make a point clearly. He stumbled over some words as he read from remarks he had plainly not written. He bootstrapped one thought onto another based on whether the words associated with something else, as opposed to having a clear through line.

After he accused Ms. Harris of ruining San Francisco while she was the district attorney, a recent favorite line of attack, Mr. Trump followed it up with tangents that related loosely to the city of San Francisco as opposed to the reason he was at the lectern.

“And you know, you can go to California, where she ruined San Francisco,” Mr. Trump told reporters. “She destroyed. San Francisco may have been the greatest city in the world, 16, 18 years ago, and now it’s a practically unlivable place. And I hate to say that. I have property in San Francisco. It’s not a good thing to say, but this far supersedes my ownership of property. It’s an unlivable place. It was the best city. Bob Tisch, of Loews, a friend of mine. Great guy. Wonderful man. He was in San Francisco. He was in Chicago. He had big businesses all over, the Tisch family. Bob Tisch used to tell me that he thinks San Francisco is the greatest city in the country. He passed away, quite a while ago. But, and San Francisco probably was. And now it’s not even livable.”

He then criticized Gov. Gavin Newsom of California, knocked Ms. Harris for not saying the phrase “illegal alien,” accused Democrats of a coup, then pointed to reports that Nancy Pelosi’s husband sold Visa stock before the Justice Department filed an antitrust lawsuit against the company as evidence that Ms. Pelosi “should be prosecuted.” He also said Ms. Pelosi should be prosecuted for security lapses at the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, when a pro-Trump mob overran the building, some of them hunting for Ms. Pelosi.

Then, after having briefly mentioned the attack on the Capitol, he returned to his immigration policy, and listed ways in which he said Ms. Harris had failed the country on the issue.

At another point, reviving his contention that Democrats purposefully encouraged a surge of migrants to cross the border illegally, Mr. Trump said he would enumerate the party’s reasons for doing so. After offering two explanations, he seemed to fail to find a third.

“No. 3, you know what that one is,” Mr. Trump said. “We don’t have to talk about that one.”

The group of Trump employees and supporters gathered in the lobby along one of the barricades that penned in where Mr. Trump spoke appeared to grow restless, with some looking around, as Mr. Trump talked and talked.

Some of Mr. Trump’s advisers want him to focus on the economy almost entirely, given its resonance in polling. But he prefers to discuss immigration. Ms. Harris’s trip gave Mr. Trump that opportunity, and some advisers were pleased he took it.

After about 45 minutes, Mr. Trump then told reporters that he would meet with President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine on Friday morning, their first meeting since Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Mr. Trump was impeached by the House in 2019 on charges stemming from his urging Mr. Zelensky to initiate a corruption investigation into the Biden family ahead of the 2020 election.

Earlier this week, Mr. Trump accused Mr. Zelensky, who had appeared in Pennsylvania with Democrats and had criticized Mr. Trump’s running mate, of making “nasty aspersions” about him and for being a “man who refuses to make a deal” to end the war in Ukraine. Mr. Trump has repeatedly insisted he would bring the conflict to a swift close, even as he offered virtually no detail about how he might do so.

Then he took some questions from reporters.

The first was about Mayor Eric Adams of New York, who was charged this week with bribery, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations. Mr. Trump noted that Mr. Adams has praised him, and used the case to bolster his own effort to discredit the federal investigations Mr. Trump himself is facing. He baselessly asserted that the investigations are politically motivated efforts by the Biden administration.

Insisting that Mr. Adams had probably been indicted because the mayor had criticized the federal government’s response to the city’s migrant crisis, Mr. Trump said, “I wish him well, but I said that he will be indicted because he did that.”

He refused to acknowledge a question asked repeatedly about whether he would pardon Mr. Adams if he became president again.

Then he dodged several questions about whether Ukraine should cede its land to Russia in order to end the bloody incursion that President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia first began in 2022. Ms. Harris earlier in the day made a jab at Mr. Trump, arguing that people who would propose Ukraine cede some of its territory to Russia were asking the country to surrender.

“It would have been a lot easier to work out prior to the start,” said Mr. Trump, who has praised Mr. Putin over the years and described the invasion as “smart” when it first occurred.

He answered a question about whether he would rescind his endorsement of Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson of North Carolina, who’s running for governor and who has been linked in a CNN report to making homophobic, racist and antisemitic statements on a pornographic website before he was a candidate. Mr. Trump responded, “I don’t know the situation.”

As he left the lobby, he stopped when someone asked if Ukraine should give up territory.

“We’ll see what happens,” Mr. Trump said.

 

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