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A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]

Francisco 2.0

By Francisco 2.0
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Beau Vine
Beau Vine

To be fair, President Trump’s four years in office weren’t so bad, except when when he incited an insurrection against the government, mismanaged a pandemic that killed nearly half a million Americans

Bama Chick
Bama Chick

Y’all about to get a great visual representation of Cullman, Alabama. Only good things to come out of Cullman are the Britt brothers (Roll Tide!) and orange rolls from All Steak restaurant. That pla

ChiTownDoc
ChiTownDoc

You seem really pissed off for a nontrumper.  Just laugh at the trumpers, bro.  They’re really gullible dumbfucks who worship this orange blob…you know, people completely unlike yourself.  

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54413

Posted
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Donald Trump wants his supporters to carry "Trump Cards."

Trump's PAC sent two emails on Wednesday asking supporters to get on board with carrying the red-and-gold cards, which look like credit cards and bear the former president's signature.

"The card you select will be carried by Patriots all around the Country," the first email said. "They will be a sign of your dedicated support to our movement to SAVE AMERICA, and I'm putting my full trust in you."

The Trump team said in a follow-up email, "We're about to launch our Official Trump Cards, which will be reserved for President Trump's STRONGEST supporters."


"We recently met with the President in his Florida office and showed him four designs," the email continued. "Originally we were planning on releasing just one design, but when President Trump saw the cards on his desk, he said, 'These are BEAUTIFUL. We should let the American People decide - they ALWAYS know best!'"

The emails did not outline exactly what entitled one to carry a "Trump Card." Clicking on the link to vote for a design led to a fundraising page.

 

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29194

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

Oh
My
God
 

am i the only one that was immediately reminded of the rickey henderson/john olerud story?  maybe i just have baseball brain.

(also i know that story has been debunked, but i choose to believe it could've happened based on henderson's personality)

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

am i the only one that was immediately reminded of the rickey henderson/john olerud story?  maybe i just have baseball brain.

(also i know that story has been debunked, but i choose to believe it could've happened based on henderson's personality)

that's just what Olerud said.  

I'm 90% convinced that story happened.  Linebrink told a story about being on a spring training bus in the early 2000's when Rickey was bouncing around (I believe it was the Padres they were both trying to solidify an opening day roster spot).  Rookies typically ride the bus, veterans in the back---if they even ride the bus to away games at all.  Rickey's custom all throughout his HOF career was to sit in the front row.  Linebrink is sitting there as he thought was rookie custom.  Some mid-career guy shouts, "Rickey, you gonna let that new guy steal your seat?  Tell him you've got tenure on his ass!"  Rickey turns to Scott, "Nah, Rickey don't got ten years...Rickey got twenty years!"  Linebrink had to slink away to the back of the bus without crying laughing in one of his boyhood idol's face.  

All that to say, Rickey Henderson has a better understanding of "Tenure" than Donald Trump has of "Tariff."  

What's more scary of the campaign CFO story:

1.  That Trump can't recognize the faces/names of the people in his most inner circle?  I mean CFO of two campaigns, that's like forgetting who your Secretary of Treasury is for 5 years in a row.

2.  That it's telling that Trump doesn't know who his own multi-campaign CFO is because he probably doesn't give a shit about finance reporting, fundraising ethical practices, etc.?

3.  That it's beyond fucked up that the guy probably closest to the skimming of campaign funds to give to the Trump family isn't even known to the main skimmers/grifters?  The mafia, the cartels, arms dealers, et. al.  They always know the accountant.  It's a completely corrupt enterprise with vast financial scams and nobody recognizes the CFO?  Could be a wise strategy by this guy, to place distance between Trump and himself when he's subpoenaed.  "How could I have known this was happening, the Trumps didn't even know me...let alone trust me to carry this out?"  

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52586

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33 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Can you link these to your magacoin wallet?

You just got me chuckling at work thinking about all of these people having their own little trump money ecosystem. And knowing that with every transaction most of it gets scraped into grifting pockets, only to realize that they are grifting points off of something that is worthless. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Red Five said:

They're gonna charge the deplorables for these, without even explaining what the cards are for, aren't they. 

"Fuck that Bitcoin bullshit!  Buncha commie nerds trying to bring the Trump economy down.  Ya can't even buy anything with 'em yet!  Only folding paper from the good ole' U.S.A. for me with "In God we Trust" on top!"  

few months later...

"What?  A Trump Card that could be used to buy uncertain amounts of valuable merchandise, rally tickets, and photo ops with the President at an undisclosed, non-guaranteed future date?  And it only costs $500usd and is automatically reloadable from my ACH checking on the 15th of the month?  Where do I sign up!?!?!" 

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14608

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19 hours ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

The grift continues.  I am pissed we didn't do this first.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-wants-supporters-carry-021443376.html

 

 

Stupid.jpeg

Saw this story this morning and missed the word "Offical."

I think we all know that within a few months, places that rubes go will start giving this a 10% discount.  (Indian Casinos, Golden Corral, etc.)

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Biff Tannen

Biff Tannen 45727

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Lobo said:

"Fuck that Bitcoin bullshit!  Buncha commie nerds trying to bring the Trump economy down.  Ya can't even buy anything with 'em yet!  Only folding paper from the good ole' U.S.A. for me with "In God we Trust" on top!"  

few months later...

"What?  A Trump Card that could be used to buy uncertain amounts of valuable merchandise, rally tickets, and photo ops with the President at an undisclosed, non-guaranteed future date?  And it only costs $500usd and is automatically reloadable from my ACH checking on the 15th of the month?  Where do I sign up!?!?!" 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think these are debit/credit cards in any sense.  I think they are literally just plastic squares that show you are in the cult.  Am I wrong?

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

Way to ruin the fucking illusion man.  I was gonna charge $75 a year like a proper credit card and watch them tell the server at Cracker Barrel, "Just swipe it again"  

"Sir, there's nothing to swipe."

"You need to swipe it again and I ain't tipping this time neither!  That's an order from your Commander in Chief!" 

By the time they realize what happened, we'd be sitting on a beach earning 20% APR.  

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Francisco 2.0

Francisco 2.0 32426

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1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think these are debit/credit cards in any sense.  I think they are literally just plastic squares that show you are in the cult.  Am I wrong?

 

But they have the word Trump.  And you can show it off to prove you are in the cult.

Think of it as a physical manifestation of an AgTag.

 

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

I could see a lot of Trumpers framing theirs and having them on the wall behind their desk at work like Michael Scott's watch certificate of authenticity.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

Okay, how about this idea?  Trump Calling Cards.  

"NSA surveying your smart phone?  FBI monitoring your calls?  Deep State watching your internet searches?  Worry no more.  With the Trump Calling Card, you can call anywhere in the U.S. from any landline or payphone with no extra tolls or fees.  For a flat rate of $17.76 a month, call any other MAGA nation loyalist for any length of time.  No tampering, no recording, no listening in...just the glorious freedom that comes with two patriots speaking together with no interference from the Biden Administration or Department of Justice."

We'll make them gold obviously and sell them on OANN and Facebook.  Probably not convenience stores but maybe on the racks at Wal-mart, Cracker Barrel, and Golden Corral checkout areas.  

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52586

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, ruitxn said:

Obviously, he will encourage businesses to offer discounts to Trump Card Patriots.

Like 10% off trump steaks, Trump wine, Trump water, Trump greens fees, Trump merchandise, and a free buffet at trump casino?

oh wait most of those things don’t exist anymore because he ran them into the ground while stealing from them, and he would never offer a discount even if they were still around 

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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5818

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Lobo said:

"Yes, but what exactly is it your Trump card does?"
 

"It Trumps all the bullshit about the vaccine, ya' see?"  

"No, I just see a creepy eagle.  Not even like a magnetic strip or anything on the back."  

"Because you're blind to the truth.  This shows that I won't be controlled by the CDC."

"You're right, my bad.  I heard about these.  If the CDC can't get the chip into your body through the vaccine, they'll put the chip into your credit cards/Trump cards so they can still keep track of all of us."  

 

Seriously though, I am constantly fucking embarrassed that I didn't think of all these easy grifts.  It's right there in the centuries old term, to play your "Trump Card."  FUCK!  We should all be chartering a fucking private jet to all the away games this year.  Instead I'm three steps behind the dumbest people in our country.  

Every time I think I’m too late to capitalize, I’m proved wrong.

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Bozo_Casanova

Bozo_Casanova 26533

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9 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Like 10% off trump steaks, Trump wine, Trump water, Trump greens fees, Trump merchandise, and a free buffet at trump casino?

oh wait most of those things don’t exist anymore because he ran them into the ground while stealing from them, and he would never offer a discount even if they were still around 

No discount needed, the “Naked Burger” they serve at the Trump Doral Champions Grill is worth every penny. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23570

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10 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Every time I think I’m too late to capitalize, I’m proved wrong.

Too late? People will be fleecing these brainwashed rubes years after that fat fuck kicks the bucket. Shit, start a seance hotline 1(800) operation where patriots get the chance to communicate with the ghost of Trump (still actually president, by the way) as he looks down from the great Mara Lago in the sky. Hire that JL Cauvin dude to just riff on the stolen election, Obama, low flow toilets, etc... 

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Macanudo

Macanudo 13010

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Posted
14 hours ago, Lobo said:

Way to ruin the fucking illusion man.  I was gonna charge $75 a year like a proper credit card and watch them tell the server at Cracker Barrel, "Just swipe it again"  

"Sir, there's nothing to swipe."

"You need to swipe it again and I ain't tipping this time neither!  That's an order from your Commander in Chief!" 

By the time they realize what happened, we'd be sitting on a beach earning 20% APR.  

Lobo, Bubby....  I"m your white knight.

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Mdhorn

Mdhorn 5987

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Lobo said:

Maybe his termination letter was lost in the mail, c/o Pepe Silvio?  

That's why he needs to be told in person in front of a room full of HR reps, emailed a you're fired notice and have it written across the sky in contrails.  Hell, give a postal jeap with you're fired shoe polished all over it as his severance package.  The whole fiasco involving taking the sorter machines outside and dismantling them should be fireable--that cost time and money.  

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