A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]

[speed817 19985]

1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

This may not be politically correct, but I feel like on that day all the midgets in America should be required to dress like Ewoks and dance around bonfires with us.   And if they won’t put on the costume, you know they’re MAGA and you can drop stones at them from hang gliders. 

[TexArcher 39076]

49 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

Bigger party for you: Trump croaks or Horns win the CFP?

I'm hoping we get both in January of 2025.

Then we can throw one massive party, and make sure texags gets the invite.

[Superhero 9037]

1 hour ago, longhornmatt said:

This may not be politically correct, but I feel like on that day all the midgets in America should be required to dress like Ewoks and dance around bonfires with us.   And if they won’t put on the costume, you know they’re MAGA and you can drop stones at them from hang gliders. 

[jw4381 3251]

56 minutes ago, 4th&Five said:

Bigger party for you: Trump croaks or Horns win the CFP?

Why not both gif. 

20 minutes ago, Snake Diggity said:

 screaming incomprehensible gibberish

He’s already doing that. 

[StassneyHorn 6790]

Well if it wasn’t obvious then, the red marks/scabs on his palms from a month ago is probably a fall.

[TexArcher 39076]

8 hours ago, Red Five said:

I'm sure all the people who thought it was hilarious that time Biden lost his balance on a bike will also find it hilarious when Dotard starts falling all the time. 

Shit, they won't see it on their news network, and if anyone forwards them video of Trump falling, or dropping something, or slurring, they'll assume it's that new deep fake technology.

Cognitive dissonance is a bitch and a half.

[TexasEd 8268]

2 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Eh, it would be nifty if he were incapacitated with something; say a stroke.  A stroke so bad that the GOP would somehow have to shift over to someone unelectable nationwide like Cruz to be on the ticket because Trump would be in such bad shape that they would have no choice to have a Plan B, but at the same time still coherent enough that a huge chunk of the MAGA verse would still hinge on every incredibly slurred word he someone uttered, and would refuse to even consider voting for Cruz.

 

Who am I kidding; the GOP would go full Weekend at Bernies and just prop Trump up here and there every few days between now and the election and the press wouldn't even bother to ask basic questions like "Why isn't Trump speaking in public?" and people like Steven Miller would be ghostwriting the Trump social media posts and there would actually be pundits using that social media presence as proof that Trump "has grown up!"

 I already covered this:

 

[Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand 13636]

3 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yub-Yub!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Nub Nub

[YGIFS 19458]

Oh yeah, like you know the fucking Eewok phonetics.  You culturally appropriating sumbitch!!!

[Kyrie Eleison 9312]

https://www.threads.net/@never_trump_republicans/post/C2_EJc2R2kI/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
 

😶

[WhatTheBuck 28940]

4 hours ago, longhornmatt said:

This may not be politically correct, but I feel like on that day all the midgets in America should be required to dress like Ewoks and dance around bonfires with us.   And if they won’t put on the costume, you know they’re MAGA and you can drop stones at them from hang gliders. 

*Little people

[956 Worldwide 35601]

 

[WhatTheBuck 28940]

Ba dum tss

[cactusflinthead 27628]

4 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Good lord, we are such a sick fucking group

That's a motto right there. The app people oughta know by now.

[TwiceHorn 32104]

11 hours ago, Red Five said:

I'm sure all the people who thought it was hilarious that time Biden lost his balance on a bike will also find it hilarious when Dotard starts falling all the time. 

To be fair, it looked like Biden's problem was a failure to successfully unclip from one of the pedals.  That can happen to anyone and frequently does.

[tchookem 3985]

I might be wrong, but I think a lot of people are going to be utterly shocked at how much intense public celebration there will be when Trump dies, especially if it happens within the next 5 years.

And they'll be dismayed at how classless all the liberals are acting.

[Eskimohorn 5682]

I'm sure all the people who thought it was hilarious that time Biden lost his balance on a bike will also find it hilarious when Dotard starts falling all the time. 

He works 20 hours a day, is making deals with dozens of foreign countries to make America great, still gets 36 holes in, and is banging a supermodel. With any luck he’s got the Nobel Prize already.

[Fastbreak 4057]

He works 20 hours a day, is making deals with dozens of foreign countries to make America great, still gets 36 holes in, and is banging a supermodel. With any luck he’s got the Nobel Prize already.

He saved time by not reading any of the material the CIA and Secret Service provided him. That 30 mins to 1 hour a day savings gave him the time to make America great by talking shit on twitter on the toliet.

[dcbc 14645]

16 hours ago, Red Five said:

Worldwide. It will be like when Palpatine died. 

Dude, I will Yub-Nub like no one ever has Yub-Nubbed when the day finally comes!

 

I will play endless drum solos on red-hat stormtrooper helmets.

 

Edited February 6 by dcbc

[YGIFS 19458]

Well, I'll be dammed.  They do chant 'Yub-Nub' so like team drip/team wrap on outdoor faucets, I guess team 'Yub-Yub' and team 'Nub-Nub' were both correct.  And I was right all along about getting fireworks for this.  Statistically speaking he won't die the of Independence Day or New Year's Eve so we'll have to get some illegally transported down to Austin or wherever we throw our party.  But also, disturbingly.  I did not notice this as a kid.  The Ewoks playing the stormtrooper helmets.  They had to decapitate them first.  So they're little bears playing drums on the severed heads of humans.  Think about that---The Star Wars nerds berate Episode VI for being too cutesy and clean, but there's small creatures who wear bonnets but no pants, who sever people's heads, and treat them as percussion at a party while they're on whatever you call mushrooms on Endor.  

 

[Mrs Whiggins 13050]

5 hours ago, Fastbreak said:

He saved time by not reading any of the material the CIA and Secret Service provided him. Selling material to foreign countries so they could read it instead. That 30 mins to 1 hour a day savings gave him the time to make America great by talking shit on twitter on the toliet.

FIFM.

[dcbc 14645]

2 hours ago, YGIFS said:

They had to decapitate them first. 

You don't think that maybe they just removed the helmets?  I mean, they're drummers.  So I get the assumption that they did the absolute craziest thing, but . . . .

[YGIFS 19458]

1 minute ago, dcbc said:

You don't think that maybe they just removed the helmets?  I mean, they're drummers.  So I get the assumption that they did the absolute craziest thing, but . . . .

Yeah, but the storm trooper armor was largely impenetrable.  Even if you knock them out with boulders or whatever the fuck those pantsless midget bears were tossing around.  You still have to execute the kill maneuver.  You can't risk the stormtrooper regaining consciousness/lucidity and even with shitty blaster aim, could still maul the fuck outta you and your clan with their hands or kicks.  So you gotta finish them off and then take their helmets.  So you either gotta slice their head with your little Ewok arrowheads or suffocate them with your little furry paws.  And only then can you remove the helmet to play timpani.  And what happens when you do that a person?  They choke out on their own blood, so you're damn sure gonna have some blood and even bits of skull and brain inside those helmets.  I don't see any fucking washtubs at their midnight jamboree.  

I honestly look forward to continuing this discussion on Absinthe with you at the post-Trump death festival.  

[dcbc 14645]

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, but the storm trooper armor was largely impenetrable.  Even if you knock them out with boulders or whatever the fuck those pantsless midget bears were tossing around.  You still have to execute the kill maneuver.  You can't risk the stormtrooper regaining consciousness/lucidity and even with shitty blaster aim, could still maul the fuck outta you and your clan with their hands or kicks.  So you gotta finish them off and then take their helmets.  So you either gotta slice their head with your little Ewok arrowheads or suffocate them with your little furry paws.  And only then can you remove the helmet to play timpani.  And what happens when you do that a person?  They choke out on their own blood, so you're damn sure gonna have some blood and even bits of skull and brain inside those helmets.  I don't see any fucking washtubs at their midnight jamboree.  

I honestly look forward to continuing this discussion on Absinthe with you at the post-Trump death festival.  

Strong theory.  I concur.  Plus, the stormtrooper heads probably went into the stock to make the Ewok celebration stew.  No waste on Endor.

[YGIFS 19458]

7 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Strong theory.  I concur.  Plus, the stormtrooper heads probably went into the stock to make the Ewok celebration stew.  No waste on Endor.

So it's settled.  The official drink of our Trump Death Party is called "Ewok Roux"

[texasdago 7772]

The day he dies, Don Jr. is going to go on a coke binge and come up with a new idea for Mar-a-Lago...

It will be just like this but with red hats and hurricanes instead of snow...

Edited February 6 by texasdago

[dcbc 14645]

7 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

So it's settled.  The official drink of our Trump Death Party is called "Ewok Roux"

[dcbc 14645]

I love the internet.

 

[miguelito 11513]

Hey, how's his presidential library coming along?

[dcbc 14645]

1 minute ago, miguelito said:

Hey, how's his presidential library coming along?

It's called Truth Social

[texasdago 7772]

8 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Hey, how's his presidential library coming along?

Its going to be a room with a bunch of one-pagers with bullet points and not many words

[YGIFS 19458]

9 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Hey, how's his presidential library coming along?

I would say...strong.  Yugely strong.  Massive.  Lotta people are saying it's the largest Presidential library in history.  Big.  Massively strong books.  Large volumes.  Volumes of volumes.  

He's obviously not gonna break ground on it until he completes his second term.  To do so would be to admit tacit defeat in both 2020 and 2024.  All my vitriolic jokes aside, he probably won't live to see it happen because he'll die before he says he's not serving a second term.  So I'm guessing some sad clan of MAGAt enablers scratch up just enough dough to do something in 2029 I guess?  Probably in Florida.  It'll be piss poor and shoddy.  It'll make the Ford Library look like Alexandria.  But his minions will still spend their disability checks to go see it.  And let's be honest, we'll be older and should be wiser...but we'll be fucking dumb and go takes shits in the sinks of the bathrooms and probably get arrested for urinating on the glass encasings.  It'll basically the perfect embodiment of what a fucking demented country we are.  But we'll have a few laughs along the way, probably grab some Waffle House on the way back .

['stache 22146]

5 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Its going to be a room with a bunch of one-pagers with bullet points and not many words

The back room of a South Florida Hooters.

[Brisketexan 107009]

2 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I would say...strong.  Yugely strong.  Massive.  Lotta people are saying it's the largest Presidential library in history.  Big.  Massively strong books.  Large volumes.  Volumes of volumes.  

He's obviously not gonna break ground on it until he completes his second term.  To do so would be to admit tacit defeat in both 2020 and 2024.  All my vitriolic jokes aside, he probably won't live to see it happen because he'll die before he says he's not serving a second term.  So I'm guessing some sad clan of MAGAt enablers scratch up just enough dough to do something in 2029 I guess?  Probably in Florida.  It'll be piss poor and shoddy.  It'll make the Ford Library look like Alexandria.  But his minions will still spend their disability checks to go see it.  And let's be honest, we'll be older and should be wiser...but we'll be fucking dumb and go takes shits in the sinks of the bathrooms and probably get arrested for urinating on the glass encasings.  It'll basically the perfect embodiment of what a fucking demented country we are.  But we'll have a few laughs along the way, probably grab some Waffle House on the way back .

We're still going to grift like mofos on this subject, correct?  Our Trump Library Selection Committee needs your help and, most importantly, your contribution, to build a stronghold to preserve the story of Trump's successful fight against the Deep State and whatnot.  Don't let liberals control the information any longer!  Help us prepare our submission and advice to help build the most important facility in American history TODAY, PATRIOTS!

[YGIFS 19458]

I think when he loses later this year, we could actually pull this off and probably clear $1-2mm in a few weeks before the jig is up.  I actually think the chaos in his camp will be the right time to jump in and raise the money because there'll be all sorts of grifting going on (stolen election PAC, legal fund PAC, revenge against the Libs PAC, and so forth).  If we slide in our grift right in the middle, I think it would work elegantly.  You did it as some standalone scam in 2027 and nobody's gonna go for it, they'll be exhausted.  

So yeah, my years old ruse still stands.  Somebody think of a name.  And it's mission is to site select, design, honor the greatest man ever, kinda bullshit.  But we need $Xmm dollars to execute on the President's vision but we gotta do our homework and get it all right ahead of time as a tribute to him, etc., etc., etc.  You're fucking insane if you think we could easily get 1000 donors at $100 each right outta the gate.  We can clear the digital payments/CC's  through our federally chartered 50-state issuing bank outside Chicago.  My only worry continues to be the one actual smart Trumper figures us out and murders my family.  If we can get around the physical retaliation after they know they've been humiliated, I'm totally down for whatever...

[dcbc 14645]

We've missed so many opportunities to bank off these rubes over the years.  Selling library cards with this picture on them that don't actually allow you to check anything out, gain free admission, or anything else (because there's no library) could help us all greatly in retirement.

[Foosters 18287]

I still think Antifa/Illegal Immigrant insurance was the way to go. Could've singlehandedly wiped out the Boomer's nest eggs.

For just $3.99 a month, you can rest easy knowing that if an antifa or illegal damages you or your property, you will be covered.

[NAVY 6971]

5 minutes ago, Foosters said:

I still think Antifa/Illegal Immigrant insurance was the way to go. Could've singlehandedly wiped out the Boomer's nest eggs.

For just $3.99 a month, you can rest easy knowing that if an antifa or illegal damages you or your property, you will be covered.

Is that like a Patriot Protection Plan (PPP)? 

[Fudge Nuggets 19473]

1 hour ago, texasdago said:

The day he dies, Don Jr. is going to go on a coke binge and come up with a new idea for Mar-a-Lago...

It will be just like this but with red hats and hurricanes instead of snow...

And an admission charge along with fully stocked gift shop.

[BamaATL 16593]

2 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

And an admission charge along with fully stocked gift shop.

In the event you ever thought Graceland was tacky...just wait.  

[texasdago 7772]

1 hour ago, NAVY said:

Is that like a Patriot Protection Plan (PPP)? 

 

[Wally Fairway 5678]

21 hours ago, Hugo Stiglitz said:

Biden should stab Trump in the face and claim presidential immunity 

Look I am not here to defend OrangeMan, but I'm looking to extend Biden's run at this point either. 
I am not certain that Joe can slice warm butter to put on his toast, let alone actually stab Donald; win/win is that they might kill each other, or slip on the stairs and have a mutual accident.

What a fucking horrible system we have to pick a person to be a figurehead leader; I starting to get behind the idea that if there is a minimum age to serve as POTUS, then perhaps there should be an age limit on the starting a term as well. 

[Surly Bevo 25778]

Look I am not here to defend OrangeMan, but I'm looking to extend Biden's run at this point either. 
I am not certain that Joe can slice warm butter to put on his toast, let alone actually stab Donald; win/win is that they might kill each other, or slip on the stairs and have a mutual accident.

What a fucking horrible system we have to pick a person to be a figurehead leader; I starting to get behind the idea that if there is a minimum age to serve as POTUS, then perhaps there should be an age limit on the starting a term as well. 

Elected officials at the Federal Level should not be able to start a term once they cross 85% of the US Life Expectancy as determined in the year of the most recent census.

Want to stay in office. Make the world a better place for people to live healthier, happier and longer lives.

[Pescado_Rojo 19593]

1 hour ago, YGIFS said:

I think when he loses later this year, we could actually pull this off and probably clear $1-2mm in a few weeks before the jig is up.  I actually think the chaos in his camp will be the right time to jump in and raise the money because there'll be all sorts of grifting going on (stolen election PAC, legal fund PAC, revenge against the Libs PAC, and so forth).  If we slide in our grift right in the middle, I think it would work elegantly.  You did it as some standalone scam in 2027 and nobody's gonna go for it, they'll be exhausted.  

So yeah, my years old ruse still stands.  Somebody think of a name.  And it's mission is to site select, design, honor the greatest man ever, kinda bullshit.  But we need $Xmm dollars to execute on the President's vision but we gotta do our homework and get it all right ahead of time as a tribute to him, etc., etc., etc.  You're fucking insane if you think we could easily get 1000 donors at $100 each right outta the gate.  We can clear the digital payments/CC's  through our federally chartered 50-state issuing bank outside Chicago.  My only worry continues to be the one actual smart Trumper figures us out and murders my family.  If we can get around the physical retaliation after they know they've been humiliated, I'm totally down for whatever...

I think the challenge here will be finding a partner university. No one that cares about their institution's legacy will want to be involved, and and MAGA friendly school will be running their own grift. I think we're going to need to start our own... Conroe University of Nationalist Teachings. Make a donation today to secure your special Founder's Brick at the Trump Library, CUNT. 

[Snake Diggity 4716]

17 minutes ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

I think the challenge here will be finding a partner university. No one that cares about their institution's legacy will want to be involved, and and MAGA friendly school will be running their own grift. I think we're going to need to start our own... Conroe University of Nationalist Teachings. Make a donation today to secure your special Founder's Brick at the Trump Library, CUNT. 

It’ll be at Liberty or it won’t be affiliated with a school.

[Red Five 41780]

31 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Look I am not here to defend OrangeMan, but I'm looking to extend Biden's run at this point either. 
I am not certain that Joe can slice warm butter to put on his toast, let alone actually stab Donald; win/win is that they might kill each other, or slip on the stairs and have a mutual accident.

I know what you mean. I had a similar deal with my neighbor the other day. I was telling him that my back was a little sore from my workout the day before, and he told me about how he has terminal pancreatic cancer. "Man, these health issues amirite? Both sure do suck. What are you gonna do." 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20950]

I am really coming around to the idea that Trump needs to remain alive for the next 10 months.  Haley would probably beat Biden.  I doubt DeSantis or Vivek could, but Haley might be able to do it. But Biden will destroy Trump, especially now that Republicans refuse to work with him on closing the border. 

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

1 minute ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

I am really coming around to the idea that Trump needs to remain alive for the next 10 months.  Haley would probably beat Biden.  I doubt DeSantis or Vivek could, but Haley might be able to do it. But Biden will destroy Trump, especially now that Republicans refuse to work with him on closing the border. 

sounds like a win win.

 

trump lives, biden wins.

trump dies, well, trump dies.

[Js1 87281]

1 minute ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

I am really coming around to the idea that Trump needs to remain alive for the next 10 months.  Haley would probably beat Biden.  I doubt DeSantis or Vivek could, but Haley might be able to do it. But Biden will destroy Trump, especially now that Republicans refuse to work with him on closing the border. 

But you also assume the MAGAs would show up for Haley or Vivek.   They don't want some mouthy brown woman and they don't want a terrorist Muslim Diet Trump or Rhonda and her white boots.

They want Trump and only Trump.

They'd sit out by claiming it was a deep state plot by Never Trumpers that assassinated Trump.  Or he's not actually dead and they'll sit out even harder because the "RINOs" kept him off the ballot. 

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

2 minutes ago, Js1 said:

But you also assume the MAGAs would show up for Haley or Vivek.   They don't want some mouthy brown woman and they don't want a terrorist Muslim Diet Trump or Rhonda and her white boots.

They want Trump and only Trump.

They'd sit out by claiming it was a deep state plot by Never Trumpers that assassinated Trump.  Or he's not actually dead and they'll sit out even harder because the "RINOs" kept him off the ballot. 

that's not what the polls say.  they seem to pretty consistently say haley outperforms trump.  i think that is a result of for every MAGAt that disappears, wayward suburbanite backfills the gap.