A story about a pathetic man's downfall [34 Felony Convictions]

[tx ind 6897]

24 minutes ago, BamaATL said:

Anyone that has ever played any level of golf, doesn't even have to be particularly a high level, can take one look at his swing and pretty well correctly guess that he is about a 20 handicap (there are huge problems with it, which will never allow for consistency).  The statistical odds of a 20 handicapper beating a scratch golfer are about 1 in 100,000.  The odds of him doing against 20 plus golfers in a single one round tournament would be in the billions, the odds of him doing multiple times in a row would escalate into the trillions if not greater.  

It's beyond ridiculous.  

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

[Blotto 23286]

If the guy was capable of playing scratch golf he would live stream every round he played. But he cant, so he just tellls everyone how good he is, which is enough for his sycophants. I would love to see someone challenge him to a livestreamed match rather than that bullshit scramble with Douche-ambeau, and then listen to the never-ending stream of excuses. But finding someone that wants to put up with the rancid smell of his soiled diapers for 18 holes is probably difficult. 

Edited August 28 by Blotto

[Beantown Express 2.0 6513]

I posted this in another thread but I have a client who is a huge Trumper.  Like spend New Years at Mar A Lago with him and has golfed with behind his group before.  The guy told me they would watch Trump drive it into the trees or rough out of bounds to the right and then we he would get up to the fairway his caddy would drop a ball about 50 yards further than his actual drive and put it right in the middle of the fairway.  He would also take 6-8 footers as gimmes.  He cheats at golf which I know is shocking to everyone on this board. 

[Chewbacca 7620]

1 minute ago, tx ind said:

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

There is a 0.0% chance that he hits a pitching wedge 140 yards.

1 minute ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

I posted this in another thread but I have a client who is a huge Trumper.  Like spend New Years at Mar A Lago with him and has golfed with behind his group before.  The guy told me they would watch Trump drive it into the trees or rough out of bounds to the right and then we he would get up to the fairway his caddy would drop a ball about 50 yards further than his actual drive and put it right in the middle of the fairway.  He would also take 6-8 footers as gimmes.  He cheats at golf which I know is shocking to everyone on this board. 

Does he at least say 'winter rules' when they use the foot wedge?

[Beantown Express 2.0 6513]

1 minute ago, Chewbacca said:

There is a 0.0% chance that he hits a pitching wedge 140 yards.

Does he at least say 'winter rules' when they use the foot wedge?

He doesn’t even use a foot wedge.  His fore caddy just puts the ball in the middle and tells him it was a great shot.

[Goredho 17178]

1 minute ago, tx ind said:

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

And by eagles, they mean two eagles sent from God swooped from the sky, snagged his balls and deposited them into the cup, which is strangely more believable than Dotard sinking two eagles back to back from 140+ yards.

[C-Man 26696]

Does he at least say 'winter rules' when they use the foot wedge?

I watched more of that DeChambeau challenge than I should have. While Trump was far better than I expected, there’s no way he hits a wedge 140 yards. Hell, his drives are like 190 tops and he plays from the old man tees, as he should. Anyway, he’d probably shoot low 80’s on his best day if he played by the rules.

[HornOnTheBayou 8853]

12 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

The people he's playing with are definitely given a strict dress code, yeah? 

"You don't necessarily have to wear a MAGA hat--though that may help you receive future invitations--but we need your primary colors to be red, white, and/or blue with at least two pieces of pro-USA accessorizing."

Look, we want you to express yourself, okay? Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to express yourself, don't you?

[elfenix 34109]

Y'all misheard. He didn't say 22 "scratch" golfers. He said 22 "scratched" golfers. As in "their entries were scratched from the tournament."

[Al Czervik 1217]

27 minutes ago, C-Man said:

I watched more of that DeChambeau challenge than I should have. While Trump was far better than I expected, there’s no way he hits a wedge 140 yards. Hell, his drives are like 190 tops and he plays from the old man tees, as he should. Anyway, he’d probably shoot low 80’s on his best day if he played by the rules.

No way an unedited version of that ‘challenge’ exists. 

[Js1 83350]

45 minutes ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

I posted this in another thread but I have a client who is a huge Trumper.  Like spend New Years at Mar A Lago with him and has golfed with behind his group before.  The guy told me they would watch Trump drive it into the trees or rough out of bounds to the right and then we he would get up to the fairway his caddy would drop a ball about 50 yards further than his actual drive and put it right in the middle of the fairway.  He would also take 6-8 footers as gimmes.  He cheats at golf which I know is shocking to everyone on this board. 

Simpsons did that already 

[Red Five 40355]

He also calls in his scores, which amazingly are always one stroke under the leader’s score.

It’s like someone created the worst person imaginable, Weird Science style. He is everything that is wrong with everything.

[jimmyjazz 45192]

I wouldn't be surprised if Kamala Harris could beat him, even if he names the tees.

[Francisco 2.0 32175]

57 minutes ago, tx ind said:

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

 

That old fuck isn't capable of getting a wedge to 140 yards.    PGA tour players can.  

[Francisco 2.0 32175]

1 hour ago, Chewbacca said:

I know this thing is dropping like a rock, but how is it not at zero yet?  

 

Oh, it will once Trump cashes out in a month or so.

 

 

[Chewbacca 7620]

1 minute ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

Oh, it will once Trump cashes out in a month or so.

 

 

Well, yeah, but who the hell is propping it up? 

[Brisketexan 103601]

3 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Well, yeah, but who the hell is propping it up? 

Have you heard of "a fuckload of complete idiots?"  It's our greatest natural resource.  We have a limitless supply.

[miguelito 11108]

I once hit a pitching wedge 140 yards.

 

I was about 30 yards off the green and I bladed it...

[Underdog 28219]

5 hours ago, Hank Kingsley said:

The American Kim Jong Il 

 

This bullshit even crosses the line for MAGA golfers. 

 

[NAVY 6685]

25 minutes ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

 

Oh, it will once Trump cashes out in a month or so.

 

 

So when it’s worth pennies, can we collectively buy a shit ton, mine/sell the data and shut that shit down all Blue-horseshoe Anacott Steel style ? 

[The Dog 43408]

 

[tx 3 putt 75473]

1 hour ago, tx ind said:

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

[Jiggy-Z 3422]

50 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Have you heard of "a fuckload of complete idiots?"  It's our greatest natural resource.  We have a limitless supply.

...and that is just what is on the surface extracted with traditional primitive methods. Just wait until we start fracking for complete idiots who have no cell phones or computers to out themselves. There is simply no way to overestimate the reverves.

Edited August 28 by Jiggy-Z

[C-Man 26696]

1 hour ago, Red Five said:

He also calls in his scores, which amazingly are always one stroke under the leader’s score.

It’s like someone created the worst person imaginable, Weird Science style. He is everything that is wrong with everything.

Yeah, there was a recent anecdote where he wasn’t even present for a club tournament. He asked one of the pros what the winning score was. When told the score was 70 or something, he said, “Oh, I shot 69 earlier this week. Put that down” and claimed the championship.

 

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Have you heard of "a fuckload of complete idiots?"  It's our greatest natural resource.  We have a limitless supply.

There’s going to be a lot of incredulous MAGA nitwits losing a fuck-ton of money when that becomes a penny stock the moment Trump and all those in on it sell their shares.

[royiv 9044]

2 hours ago, tx ind said:

It’s true, he’s excellent!

 

Picture of health right there.

[Fudge Nuggets 18977]

24 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Yeah, there was a recent anecdote where he wasn’t even present for a club tournament. He asked one of the pros what the winning score was. When told the score was 70 or something, he said, “Oh, I shot 69 earlier this week. Put that down” and claimed the championship.

 

There’s going to be a lot of incredulous MAGA nitwits losing a fuck-ton of money when that becomes a penny stock the moment Trump and all those in on it sell their shares.

It will be Hunter Biden's fault.

[Brisketexan 103601]

24 minutes ago, C-Man said:

There’s going to be a lot of incredulous MAGA nitwits losing a fuck-ton of money when that becomes a penny stock the moment Trump and all those in on it sell their shares.

That's a price Trump is willing to have them pay.  So long as he gets his...fucking bribes/illegal campaign contributions from billionaires/foreign powers....that's what's important.  Let's not lose sight of that, patriots.

[dcbc 14247]

2 hours ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

I posted this in another thread but I have a client who is a huge Trumper.  Like spend New Years at Mar A Lago with him and has golfed with behind his group before.  The guy told me they would watch Trump drive it into the trees or rough out of bounds to the right and then we he would get up to the fairway his caddy would drop a ball about 50 yards further than his actual drive and put it right in the middle of the fairway.  He would also take 6-8 footers as gimmes.  He cheats at golf which I know is shocking to everyone on this board. 

[Js1 83350]

25 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

It will be Hunter Biden's fault.

"Oops, sorry, Hunter's giant dong fell out of his pants and hit the SELL button" 

[Underdog 28219]

8 minutes ago, Js1 said:

"Oops, sorry, Hunter's giant dong fell out of his pants and hit the SELL button" 

Nasty Mace be like... 

[Gil Bang 25651]

3 hours ago, Beantown Express 2.0 said:

I posted this in another thread but I have a client who is a huge Trumper.  Like spend New Years at Mar A Lago with him and has golfed with behind his group before.  The guy told me they would watch Trump drive it into the trees or rough out of bounds to the right and then we he would get up to the fairway his caddy would drop a ball about 50 yards further than his actual drive and put it right in the middle of the fairway.  He would also take 6-8 footers as gimmes.  He cheats at golf which I know is shocking to everyone on this board. 

GF's uncle told a story about a buddy of his in a foursome with dotard.  They watch him tee off, and his ball heads into the trees.  They are looking for the ball.  The buddy is in the trees, looks down and sees a ball with a Trump logo.  As he bends over to pick it up, Trump yells "found it" from the fairway. 

[atomheartbevo 89015]

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

There’s going to be a lot of incredulous MAGA nitwits losing a fuck-ton of money when that becomes a penny stock the moment Trump and all those in on it sell their shares.

I’m gonna laugh when Musk pays him to post exclusively on Twitter, or buys up Truth Social for pennies on the dollar.

[safe sex 11608]

I don't understand how you can be aware for a fact that Trump cheats at golf and still support him

[Brisketexan 103601]

Just now, safe sex said:

I don't understand how you can be aware for a fact that Trump cheats at golf and still support him

Add it.  To the fucking.  PILE.

The problem is that there are SO many utterly disqualifying things about Trump that all that signal, when it reaches that density, looks like noise.  It's actually a technique scumbags like him use.  Be so shitty that the opposition can't pick out a clear target.

[HOOKEM4 4922]

4 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Look, we want you to express yourself, okay? Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then okay. But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that, okay? You do want to express yourself, don't you?

Why did you neg this innocuous post quoting office space? @elfenix

If you don't like office space we are going to have real problems. You are gonna have to start an "adventures of lil hookem4" thread buddy!

[miguelito 11108]

54 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

GF's uncle told a story about a buddy of his in a foursome with dotard.  They watch him tee off, and his ball heads into the trees.  They are looking for the ball.  The buddy is in the trees, looks down and sees a ball with a Trump logo.  As he bends over to pick it up, Trump yells "found it" from the fairway. 

Was his caddie named Oddjob?

[Hornius Emeritus 12332]

3 hours ago, miguelito said:

I once hit a pitching wedge 140 yards.

 

I was about 30 yards off the green and I bladed it...

I hit a 3-wood that far. Right down the fairway. Like a boss.

[aggie08 20479]

41 minutes ago, safe sex said:

I don't understand how you can be aware for a fact that Trump cheats at golf and still support him

They aren't. No one knows less about Donald Trump than his biggest supporters.

[Bookman 4589]

2 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

They aren't. No one knows less about Donald Trump than his biggest supporters.

They think he's some type of successful businessman for Christ's sake. 

[safe sex 11608]

3 minutes ago, aggie08 said:

They aren't. No one knows less about Donald Trump than his biggest supporters.

This person supposedly has played with him tho?

[elfenix 34109]

1 hour ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Why did you neg this innocuous post quoting office space? @elfenix

If you don't like office space we are going to have real problems. You are gonna have to start an "adventures of lil hookem4" thread buddy!

[Superhero 8631]

8 hours ago, 4th&Five said:

SAD!

Let's take a slightly longer perspective

[Superhero 8631]

4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

Well, yeah, but who the hell is propping it up? 

 

You'd be surprised. Quite a few institutional holders out there. Vanguard WTF.

 

 

[dcbc 14247]

22 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Surlyhorns summed up in one post and one response.

 

@elfenix cramming a response and a meme into a neg-rep emoji.  Bravo.

Edited August 29 by dcbc

[HOOKEM4 4922]

31 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Goddammit! Well played sir. How the fuck did I fumble that badly. AMAZING!

If I could rep you more on this, I would. I will find you and I will rep you.

[Covri 6150]

Donald Trump putts like he's trying to bank it off the third rail and through the dinosaurs legs.

[TexLonghorn 5572]

[Gil Bang 25651]

I have direct knowledge of Susquehanna being a bunch of fucknuts.  Nobody there has a fucking clue. 

or, at least they didn't 15 years ago. 

[Red Five 40355]

Team Dotard wants us to believe that he was there just to support that poor family, and it's just happenstance that a camera crew was there filming everything. 

More believable: That, or Dotard winning 22 golf championships?

[Homercles 10204]

Ok so he likes service members that don’t get captured, calls those who died ‘losers/suckers’, insulted those who “earned” our nation’s highest recognition of valor, and now poses for a thumbs-up photo op in front of a dead trooper’s grave at our nation’s most hallowed ground?

I will never understand how anyone even remotely connected to the military could support that guy.  

Anytime I’m in DC, I have to visit and catch a guard change.  They’ve unfailingly guarded those remains for decades, from ice to hurricanes to blistering summers, walking so precisely the marble is worn by their footsteps.  

In the army, you have a better shot at going from boot to passing RASP (Ranger) to passing the Q course (special forces) to eventually getting selected for Delta than you do getting to wear an Honor Guard badge. 

Once again, dude somehow manages to denigrate people who have a drive that I’ll never be able to fully fathom from the outside…drive to give their lives to save their buddies or to serve a ceremonial role where you don’t even wear rank, silently suffering in the elements to honor others.  
 

/soapbox