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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread


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11 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I cannot believe that his employment by Saban was not conditioned on absolute abstention.  Same with here.

This.

What is the one thing the biggest control freak in CFB hates? Bad headlines.

No fucking way Saban didn't vet Sark to ensure he was 1 million% sober.  And I'd bet Saban put in place a support network to keep him that way and CDC will do the same. 

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4 minutes ago, ChampionshipLevelPiss said:

Per 247, Banks was the primary recruiter on practically every recruit Bama pulled from the state of Texas over the last few years. Would be a slam dunk, just not sure what it would take to lure him away from Bama.

If Banks doesn't work out any chance of making a run at Brewster?  Probably wants out with the mess at FL/Mullen.  Don't know if he and Sark have any history together.

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12 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

CTJ being a miserable storm cloud about this hire and Sark allegedly "not getting" some key things about being successful at Texas. Specifically being high on Mike Stoops. 

That was a response to him specifically saying he didn't want to disabuse (he said disavow but he meant disabuse) anyone of their notions. And then he gave behind the scene info that immediately disabused me of any notion that Sark might have a pulse on putting together a great staff by saying that the Stoops information wasn't 9.95 nonsense and came from Sark or someone close to him. Which, if true, says this guy doesn't get it.  Thus the part about needing someone to sit on him to not make this a colossal fuck up and the guy tasked with sitting on him is also a low grade moron that needed to be sidelined during the hiring process and told not to run with scissors while we put a football helmet on him so he doesn't bang his head into the wall, while the adults at the table have to keep one eye on him by telling him not to eat the elmers glue. Fuck man, all that shit is depressing as fuck.  More depressing than announcing we are hiring a recovering drunk with moderate success at one head coaching gig and epic failure at another.  Which is pretty fucking depressing in and of itself. 

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Just now, Js1 said:

This.

What is the one thing the biggest control freak in CFB hates? Bad headlines.

No fucking way Saban didn't vet Sark to ensure he was 1 million% sober.  And I'd bet Saban put in place a support network to keep him that way and CDC will do the same. 

Yeah and guys like Flood and Banks who have spent a lot of time around Sark wouldn't follow him if they thought he still had a problem. Still TBD but that would be a good sign

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5 minutes ago, ChampionshipLevelPiss said:

Per 247, Banks was the primary recruiter on practically every recruit Bama pulled from the state of Texas over the last few years. Would be a slam dunk, just not sure what it would take to lure him away from Bama.

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

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19 minutes ago, alphahorn said:

To get one's panties in a wad over Mike fucking Stoops RUMORS is silly.  There is no fucking way to know if this came from Sark and I seriously doubt that it did as it was quashed shortly after emerging. Let's at least see the names HE ACTUALLY puts forth before we lynch the poor fucking bastard.

And that's fair. I suppose. If I'm guilty of anything I guess it's taking CTJ's peek behind the curtain as gosepel fucking truth.  Which I hope it's not. But suspect it is based upon CTJ's track record for having a pulse of inner workings on here, layered in with my own self loathing as a Texas fan watching us fuck the dog for going on a decade. 

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Just now, Tex-19 said:

Has there been any news on Sark's salary? I'm guessing ~$6mm which would leave extra cash for staff budget compared to someone like UM or BK. I hope part of the deal was a dumptruck to go poach people.

Also, if we really do pull 2 or 3 laterals from Bama, I think that's a great sign on Sark. Those guys wouldn't leave their highly successful current jobs if they didn't have a lot of confidence in Sark, and they know better than any of us given their inside info.

Haven't seen anything on numbers personally, but my hope remains that the black-check assistant and support staff budget (along with facilities upgrades, etc.) supposedly promised to Urban during his courting would not be reeled in a cent for Sark. In fact, I hope they tack on to that budget whatever the delta ends up being between Sark's salary and what Urban was offered. 

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3 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

Has there been any news on Sark's salary? I'm guessing ~$6mm which would leave extra cash for staff budget compared to someone like UM or BK. I hope part of the deal was a dumptruck to go poach people.

Also, if we really do pull 2 or 3 laterals from Bama, I think that's a great sign on Sark. Those guys wouldn't leave their highly successful current jobs if they didn't have a lot of confidence in Sark, and they know better than any of us given their inside info.

Ive seen the 7mill number around and its probably a blank fucking check for staff. They saved money on Sarks salary for sure and they know that money needs to be allocated to assistants

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1 minute ago, RGBIII said:

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

We've seen this game before. Associate head Coach of Passing Game Coordination. Associate Head Coach of Running Game Coordination. One's just Assistant Head Coach. etc. 

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14 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Yes, I got that part. But in your first sentence you seemed to be pointing a finger at him being gloomy, while then going on to grudgingly admit he might have points. It sounded like blaming the messenger while agreeing with him. So I made a comment. 

Not at all. I take it as he's totally and completely correct and plugged into what's going on and that scares the shit out of me.

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5 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

Yeah and guys like Flood and Banks who have spent a lot of time around Sark wouldn't follow him if they thought he still had a problem. Still TBD but that would be a good sign

 

3 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Ive seen the 7mill number around and its probably a blank fucking check for staff. They saved money on Sarks salary for sure and they know that money needs to be allocated to assistants

I have heard they're going to give him the same freedom with staff hiring, analyst hiring, support staff hiring, and etc that Bama has and how big it is with the people they bring in.

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4 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Ive seen the 7mill number around and its probably a blank fucking check for staff. They saved money on Sarks salary for sure and they know that money needs to be allocated to assistants

I've heard we got him at 7 million a year for 5 years.

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8 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Would you say it's on par with your ability to drive under a bridge?

At least that bad. I own my shit. you could end this whole thing by saying that you were wrong and feel bad about it :)  I'm going to put the emoticon in there so that you know this is tongue in cheek and don't get it twisted 180 degrees opposite. When I beclown myself I do it as a public spectacle so that others can enjoy mocking and ridiculing me. As I said- some people were meant to live lives as a cautionary tale for others. I'm ok with this for myself. It's not aspirational, but, well, it's what I have I suppose.  

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8 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

If you have talented and bought in people that believe in the mission, are given responsibilities that line up with their core compentancy, and are fairly compensated than titles shouldn't matter and it should take care of itself. That's a lot of if's when dealing with glorified PE teachers but I guess one can hold on to a sliver of hope until the first buttfucking from a team of also rans happens. 

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7 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

There is smoke Saban will be done after next year from Tigerbaitlawyer on tigerdroppings so the guys that are tied to Sark or have experience in Texas may want more stability so let's shoot for the moon.

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11 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

I dont think Milwee would require an OC title so Flood/Banks as Co-OC could work

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12 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

All these Bama names are scaring me a bit. No way they just all take lateral moves. We can give as many bullshit titles that we can and obviously be raises but can't imagine Bama just lets them walk. If Flood is coming with an OC title, we could give Banks a AHC title but then do we remove it from Drayton? No clue how this happens and if this is just them trying to get raises...guess we will see

How many more years does Saban have?  If these guys think it is 3 or less, then why not go to Texas for a 3 year guaranteed deal with a raise.  I bet Saban is a beating to work for.  Working at Bama seems like working at a hedge fund.  You learn a lot, but it takes years off your life.

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59 minutes ago, Richter said:

Hopeful optimism:  Maybe Sark's still in the brainstorming phase and no idea is a bad idea even if its a horrible idea?

Also, how do you feel about Ash after the defensive improvement this year?   I remember you hating the Ash and Valai hires....

You and I can both hope it was brainstorming. Sure, go with that.

I hated the Valai hire for reasons I stated above in this thread and elsewhere. I'm comfortable stating that I was absolutely correct in that being a useless, idiotic hire that could not be justified, and never will be.

I disliked the Ash hire because I didn't view it was a case of going out and getting the best candidate. Herman went out and got another guy he was comfortable with, and that wasn't the right answer. Ash did fine, but I didn't expect disaster. Ash is a mediocre to poor recruiter, a terrible evaluator of staff talent, and not an incredibly bright guy. He does know defense. If he's surrounded by guys that he didn't get to make the hiring choice on, and those guys can recruit, he's fine as a DC. Note: that's how it worked for him at Ohio State.

25 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

You are a pretty miserable fucking storm cloud lately since all this went down.  Mind you- this is not me bitching as I (think) I appreciate the insight into what's going on- but this seems like the 3rd hire in a row that doesn't really get it if some of the shit he's thinking about is really top of mind.  I get that none of this has happened yet- but if his initial instinct is Mike Fucking Stoops then that shows he's got to be sat on at all times. If you can accomplish what you need to accomplish by sitting on him, and he's at least trainable and open to better ideas that's a clear win from the last guy, but I'd rather he got it up front than had to have it explained to him like a 5 year old. Unfortunately if your sources are correct the guy in charge of sitting on him professionally and making sure he doesn't do something stupid is also an idiot that needs to be sat on that's come up with ideas of "lets give Herm another year when all the money is lined up now" and "golly, I hope they let me hire James Fucking Franklin"


That leads me to something tangentially related that I'm a little bit serious about but obviously wouldn't ever happen in real life and that is Surly needs a voice in the operations of this AD.

Now, we all know that this site is not as good as Hornfans was circa 1998-2002 or 04 or whatever it was. That's not a knock on this site- it's just a simple acknowledgement that longhorn messagedom has splintered and fractured a metric shit ton since Agnor and Wheeler split and the proliferation of the $9.95 guys. But, there are a metric shit ton of smart people on here- that make serious money in their professions, have real responsibilities and quality work, and most importantly are not 187 fucking years old.  I don't mind the big donors that write the big checks having their thoughts taken into account, but that's a really old fucking group that has the 9 and 10 figure type money.  What I would suggest is that collectively, some of the people in their 40's and 50's doing good work but that don't quite have fuck you money yet might have something interesting to add to the process.  I nominate, of course, Vic, Derka and Spider2yBanana to be our representatives to the AD for all things sports related.  But on a serious note- the value of crowd sourced opinion of intelligent and knowlegeable people (or even not mouth breathing morons) has been shown to do better at lots of shit than expert level people acting on their own. I wish there was a way where with some formality you could factor in shit like- should we do this- and places like this could have a say in this opinion.  Because I have to tell you man- when there are an immediate 100 red flags on here about something like Watson as OC this board is almost never wrong about shit like that.  

I don't think I've been miserable, or felt that way, about Sarkisian. On the surface, I've viewed it as a terrible fucking hire. This job ages the clean and sober and overwhelms the ill-prepared. In Sarkisian's first two HC stints, he was never sober and was renowned for being ill-prepared. Now I'm supposed to believe he'll be the right man for the job at this fucking place? Okay, sure. So what have I done? I've put all of my stock into who he hires as a supporting staff. The rest of the shit we're supposed to buy into is hollow trash spewed by the unwashed and naive.

I don't give one fuck if he has an endorsement from Nick Saban. Nick Saban is a sociopath without a conscience or a vague sense of empathy. He's looking at people as robots because he is a robot. If the robot stays in its lane and produces numbers, Nick Saban will endorse it. I'm guessing he'd endorse Keurig as enthusiastically as he'll endorse Steve Sarkisian or AFLAC.

I'm supposed to believe that this guy's sobriety is as solid as an oak? Well, oak trees have weak root systems and they're the first trees to go during droughts and hurricanes. So goes most addicts' sobriety when tested by the white hot heat of 1000 suns within the first five years of their journey. So no, fuck faith in that too.

So what is left to have faith in? I'll bet everything on my end on the staff and support staff, and I don't need every hire to be glorious in my own mind. Just show us hopeful signs and a couple of slam dunks. That's not miserable, that's reality. 

Regarding the crowdsourcing of power to influence ADs notion, I literally am working on a business plan for that. I need some other businesses to find their footing, and I need to figure out how to make it okay to money with it or get comfortable with the premise of a non-profit for such purposes. I vetted an executive summary with one of the decisionmakers in a large UT money family this spring and they thought it could have legs.

20 minutes ago, alphahorn said:

To get one's panties in a wad over Mike fucking Stoops RUMORS is silly.  There is no fucking way to know if this came from Sark and I seriously doubt that it did as it was quashed shortly after emerging. Let's at least see the names HE ACTUALLY puts forth before we lynch the poor fucking bastard.

No one is lynching Sarkisian yet. But the motherfucker needs to get his staff right from the jump. The Stoops stuff wasn't just $9.95er nonsense. Those guys had no interest in immediately angering their base with the Stoops stuff. What they did by releasing it, however, is a service to the rest of us as it spurred a real discussion with the powers that be.

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If Sark names anyone before the Championship game, it may give us an idea of who he is actually poaching from Bama. Like say Flood and Banks. So if Texas starts naming Milwee (QB), Drayton (RB), and maybe Martin or Colbert (WR), and no one else on the offensive side, it is a good bet that Flood and Banks are coming with Sark.

It also appears that no one from the defensive side of the ball, i.e. actual coaches as been rumored, so maybe Saban and Sark have a gentlemen's agreement as to which side he can poach from.

I also think it's quite interesting that Saban wants Sark to call the offense, after he told Kiffin to get the fuck out to FAU, and I think I remember Sark getting promoted to play calling in 2018 when Locksley went back to Maryland. Though both of those hires were made in December.

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20 hours ago, Bevo said:

That list was a whose who of top paid recruits.

I realize that. I was just pointing out that Fletcher was a 2* 215 lb long snapper. Seems like Fletchers dad would have to pay the bagman to get an offer, not the other way around. Maybe Fletcher went on to be a 2* that played like a 5*. 

Actually took the time to look him up. He's been the starting LS all 4 years for Bama. My apologies to Mr Fletcher.

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Just now, HtownHorn said:

If Sark names anyone before the Championship game, it may give us an idea of who he is actually poaching from Bama. Like say Flood and Banks. So if Texas starts naming Milwee (QB), Drayton (RB), and maybe Martin or Colbert (WR), and no one else on the offensive side, it is a good bet that Flood and Banks are coming with Sark.

It also appears that no one from the defensive side of the ball, i.e. actual coaches as been rumored, so maybe Saban and Sark have a gentlemen's agreement as to which side he can poach from.

I also think it's quite interesting that Saban wants Sark to call the offense, after he told Kiffin to get the fuck out to FAU, and I think I remember Sark getting promoted to play calling in 2018 when Locksley went back to Maryland. Though both of those hires were made in December.

If Lupoi is legitimate a choice I figure he will be first named to hit the trails from a strategic standpoint. Then a guys like Tee/Colbert/Raymond types.

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11 hours ago, RollLeft said:

If i'm making a decision based upon the two videos i wouldn't hire Ackerman.  He seems to be unorganized and mailing in the presentation.  By comparison he makes Yancy seem precise and tuned in to the college game/program.  Also, didn't know Yancy had 5 staff.

My personal guess is Sark could bring Cochran’s top assistant. Cochran came from LSU. Moffitt turned Saban down but told him to take Cochran. That could happen here.
 

I was also given the name Aaron Ausmus, who apparently worked at USC under Carrol. I was told Ausmus is pretty legit. That was just a suggestion as to who Sark might target. No inside info, other than my guy was relatively deep in the Major D1 S&C world and knows names. 

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1 minute ago, Chili dog said:

I was also given the name Aaron Ausmus, who apparently worked at USC under Carrol. I was told Ausmus is pretty legit. That was just a suggestion as to who Sark might target. No inside info, other than my guy was relatively deep in the Major D1 S&C world and knows names. 

Ausmus was just given the boot at USC. No idea if he actually sucks or he's just a scapegoat and victim of the Helton rot.

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5 minutes ago, Skipper said:

I don't think fans at any major SEC program would throw a fit if Mike Stoops was hired as a position coach.  The nuance here which Sark may or may not have appreciated if he made a potential "list" is that a Stoops at Texas in any capacity would be a problem (considering not only long term history but that Texas and Sam ended his DC career).  So if Sark has a good relationship with him from his time at Bama and he made an initial list, and CDC said (you know Texas fans are going to go ape shit every time a LB misses a tackle if you hire a Stoops here) and then Sark listened to that advice, well, it would show he's actually willing to accept guidance unlike Strong and especially Herman.   So I see that as a good thing.  Again, if Sark took the fucking UF job and hired Stoops as LB's coach, nobody at FL would give a shit. 

That's the best possible scenario for those rumors. I will cross my fingers and hope like hell that's what's going on.  

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10 minutes ago, NoName said:

i mean, he is going to bring his own guy in at that level...Chang was doing a great job but totally understand making a change

Chang updating his resume and sending out emails like

it's great, dan! — Changuage: A word used to explain Ben Chang's...

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Just now, Machinator said:

Ausmus was just given the boot at USC. No idea if he actually sucks or he's just a scapegoat and victim of the Helton rot.

Interesting. Well, Fat Dog was once highly regarded, too. People get lazy. But you’re right, Ausmus may be a scapegoat. Who knows. 
 

Another guy I thought of is Andrew Swazay (I’m probably misspelling his name) whose wife is from nearby copperas cove. Swazay is highly regarded by former players who he coached at Miami. He got canned by Richt because Richt is a buffoon. Former players in the league still go back to train with him. I’d take him in a heartbeat. 

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1 hour ago, NoName said:

Stoops just seemed like people looking at who was on the Bama staff/analyst list identifying who had been prior coordinators, then who had been there a little while or whose terms matched up with Sark then identifying them as a potential name

...at least that is what I am hoping happened.

because there is no fucking way that Mike Stoops is a good hire for any program at this point in time.

I agree, people don't know squat about the staff situation and 9.95ers were all caught so flat footed about the fire and hire that some (FCB) were just throwing out names that were tangetally connected to Sark and had name recognition. Of course those same idiots(FCB) wouldn't have the mental capacity to realize that it is 2000 and Mike Stoops is not a splash hire....

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34 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I have pronounced loudly and clearly how stupid I think this hire is. The fact that it was so loud, and so clear, means I'm probably gonna have a zillion responses that I really don't want to read.

 

So, here's the only reason I'm saying something now. I really don't want anyone to misinterpret the fact that I'm ignoring their responses to my prediction that we've just hired Howard Fucking Schnellenburger. I still love you as fellow Longhorns fans, and if you turn out to be right and I turn out to be wrong, I will be as fucking happy as a fucking clam (and we all know how happy clams are when they are fucking).

I am just depressed as shit by this turn of events, which I see as worse than having left well enough fucking alone, so forgive my invective.

I will love it beyond belief if I turn out to be wrong.

My only rational explanation is that well enough wasn’t well, and that herman poisoned the well somehow either during the course of regular events or with some dramatic episode recently that made his continued employment untenable. In such a case, our hand was forced and if urban and Kelly said no...well someone has to be the head coach.  A guy like fickell may have worked but it would be more of the same with betting on an up and coming coach with limited experience and contacts. 
sarkesian by himself doesn’t elicit excitement or expectations from me- but if he can assemble a good staff then I’ll become a little hopeful.   As mentioned plenty, the previous 2 coaches began their tenures with one foot in the grave because of the coaching staff they chose to or were forced to hire, and I don’t see Steve sarkesian as a guy that would be able to overcome the same issue and win in spite of it. 

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As for Akina, I mean he was a great hire 20 years ago and has an unmatched legacy here but he's almost 65 years old.  I would be shocked if actually on Sark's radar and not just a name being thrown out by Texas media remembering the glory days.

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