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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

closetohumping

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Posted by Teryor,

HOLY SHIT WE'RE ROOTING FOR BRIAN FUCKING DAVIS TO BE RIGHT
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Sheep Have Wool
Sheep Have Wool

https://www.captiongenerator.com/2107502/SurlyHorns-Reacts-to-the-Coaching-Search Enable subtitles if you're watching embedded.  

closetojumping
closetojumping

Just got a text from my friend in the Bama program that Flood and Wiggins are going with Sark. It's done.

2578
2578

nope, reposding to other posters. You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole I'm gonna lose to OU THIS many times   Texas fucking sucks now, and you ALLLLLLL know it. Good

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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2557

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, derpyhorndog said:

Absent an abysmal hire with the last defensive hire, this is easily a Top 10 staff in college football and has the potential to be even higher. 

Well, this would certainly qualify. Giving the surrounding cast, I don’t think one position coach necessarily breaks us. That said...you have a blank check for asssistant hires, some well-respected established as well as rising stars under consideration (Vandy/FSU dude discussed) with development and/or recruiting chops, have proven the UT program is again a place where even badasses with limited connections to the already-hired coaches are willing to leave good gigs so long as the price is right (Kwiakowski, Banks) - and you squander that opportunity for an abject failure in the coaching and personality/like ability department? Fucking really?! Oh, AND his last name is Stoops? Beyond idiotic.

Definition of insanity, etc. (see UoB thread), but I’m in the denial phase here and am choosing to believe for time being that something else is at play here. Sark is doing Stoops a publicity solid by putting some lipstick on that cock gobbler for any other programs kicking his tires or on the fence about seriously considering him for an opening - Stoops and Tennessee would be a great match for one another. Or, Occam’s razor: the 9.95ers don’t know shit. Please 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus, let it be so. 

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NTVTXN

NTVTXN 1432

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, TexasEx said:

Y’all act like 6 weeks ago we weren’t floating Bob “Stoops is Poops” as a head coaching candidate. Let’s fuck around and find out if Mike Stoops is up to the challenge of being our goddamn linebacker’s coach under a top 5 DC. He’s also a graduate of the nick saban coaching rehabilitation school of dominance. Worst case, he flames out this year and we 86 him. Best case, he helps us buttfuck Riley out of Norman and into the nfl. 

I went to bed in a completely different space than this.  ^THIS above is where I am after a refreshing six hours of sleep. 
Im going to choose to be positive, until proven otherwise. He may be a failure at coaching LB’s this coming season; but as many have pointed out, PK as a DC should keep him reigned in and focused. If not, bounce him/

But do it AT THE FIRST SIGN OF IDOITCY, not when it costs them a game.

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NTVTXN

NTVTXN 1432

Posted
Posted
49 minutes ago, wood said:

Stoops to Texas? Seems more likely that we're being trolled, imho, or the guy is just wrong. One asshole out there is making this claim. I'll wait til it's official before I freak out.

Excellent point. I, for instance, simply got behind the decision in an attempt to be more positive. Hell, it’s not even been announced. 
TAP.THE.BRAKES.

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Hookem2147

Hookem2147 21209

Posted
Posted

How Sark talk about authentic relationships and putting players needs first and then hire someone who’s a huge asshole that is disliked by all of his players. I’m not even looking at his coaching history. His history with players and being an asshole is enough to him to be a complete nonstarter.

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Darth Tron

Darth Tron 1122

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No.  The word is no.  

No, Mike Stoops is not a good coach.

No, Mike Stoops is not an upgrade over Coleman Hutzler.

No, Mike Stoops should never walk the sideline at DKR.

No, this is not a sneaky good hire by Sark, who knows something we don't.

No, this does not improve our staff.  Quite the opposite.

No, Mike fucking Stoops is not the best option left out there to hire.

No, Sark did not have to do this.  Very puzzling use of goodwill and positive capital.

No, you cannot rationalize it.

No.

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gmr548

gmr548 16576

Posted
Posted
I went to bed in a completely different space than this.  ^THIS above is where I am after a refreshing six hours of sleep. 
Im going to choose to be positive, until proven otherwise. He may be a failure at coaching LB’s this coming season; but as many have pointed out, PK as a DC should keep him reigned in and focused. If not, bounce him/
But do it AT THE FIRST SIGN OF IDOITCY, not when it costs them a game.

Actually worst case scenario is he continues to be who he has been for decades, and Sark keeps him around regardless because he obviously really wants him here, no different than Watson, Mehringer, whoever.
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Huckleberry

Huckleberry 32852

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Hookem2147 said:

How Sark talk about authentic relationships and putting players needs first and then hire someone who’s a huge asshole that is disliked by all of his players. I’m not even looking at his coaching history. His history with players and being an asshole is enough to him to be a complete nonstarter.

This is also an excellent point. His players have always hated him and that is completely antithetical to what Sarkisian has been selling. 

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Pam Cummings

Pam Cummings 9640

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

I bet we have more wins with Mike fucking Stoops as our LB coach than with any other in the last 8 years. Because it matters that little with the staff we’ve put together.

If it matters that little then you still don't do it because he's a fucking moron named Stoops and you know it will piss us off.

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trythisathome

trythisathome 971

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Hookem2147 said:

How Sark talk about authentic relationships and putting players needs first and then hire someone who’s a huge asshole that is disliked by all of his players. I’m not even looking at his coaching history. His history with players and being an asshole is enough to him to be a complete nonstarter.

Not to mention that him being an open Trump supporter probably isn't going to go over well with guys like DMo. Or 70% of the team, honestly.

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted

 

Welp, I was excited about the future but a move like this is so reminiscent of Herman and Strong it almost seems ominous. Maybe the other coaches will be good enough to compensate but it seems there are many other quality coaches who we left on the table. 

Stoops is the best guy in the nation for our position? 

please let someone make that argument. He’s such a shitty person it completely eclipses his coaching mediocre as it is

 a complete head scratcher unless it’s just a pure comfort hire 

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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 20869

Posted
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4 hours ago, Enchubben said:

as an analyst.

I think the more comparable hire would be Strong’s hires where we told the guy no and he brings him in anyways.

Also:

dumb and dumber vomit GIF

The only thing an analyst doesn't do at Alabama is go on the road to recruit.  Other than that they have the same responsibilities as the position coaches.

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Bevo14

Bevo14 8304

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Honestly this just feels right. No, not the hire. The feeling that our head coach just decided to set himself on fire with the worst staff hire imaginable. This is what we've come to know and love. It feels like a warm blanket... covered in small pox. 

The conservation of shittiness. You gotta balance out the good with a shitload of bad.

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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 20869

Posted
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This really shouldn't be a surprise - Sark tried to hire him as a DC and described him on one of the Zoom calls as the brightest defensive mind he had met.  Assuming he actually meant those things he's not going to give a fuck about what we think.  He did spend the last two years with him at Alabama - so he probably has a decent idea of what the players there thought of him.

 

After the initial outrage I've reached the 'who gives a fuck' stage of grief.  Its a LB coach.  If he shits the bed and alienates the ILB's in his position room then he gets fired and we move on.  Stoops isn't going to be the reason we don't win 10 games next season.

 

As for the political pic floating through this thread - as abhorrent as I think those views are - I'm guessing in the coaching ranks that is much more the norm that the alternative.  And players are smart enough to know that. 

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WBT

WBT 20562

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

As for the political pic floating through this thread - as abhorrent as I think those views are - I'm guessing in the coaching ranks that is much more the norm that the alternative.  And players are smart enough to know that. 

Not to CR this up further but if anyone has contacts with the FBI that could produce a picture of old Mikey inside the capitol on 1/6 that might be enough to derail this thing...

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