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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

closetohumping

By closetohumping
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Posted by Teryor,

HOLY SHIT WE'RE ROOTING FOR BRIAN FUCKING DAVIS TO BE RIGHT
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Sheep Have Wool
Sheep Have Wool

https://www.captiongenerator.com/2107502/SurlyHorns-Reacts-to-the-Coaching-Search Enable subtitles if you're watching embedded.  

closetojumping
closetojumping

Just got a text from my friend in the Bama program that Flood and Wiggins are going with Sark. It's done.

2578
2578

nope, reposding to other posters. You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole I'm gonna lose to OU THIS many times   Texas fucking sucks now, and you ALLLLLLL know it. Good

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Liquor and Poker

Liquor and Poker 3659

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17 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

If you respond to that booger-eater one more time, I hope this entire board revolts in a crowdsourcing effort against you. If you need someone to arbitrarily argue with about bureaucratic nonsense, give me a call and I'll have an analyst read you our employee handbook, word for word. Or the latest Ian Boyd hagiography about Kwiatkowski and his defensive prowess, all 736 pages.

Public ivy

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Bodacious Bevo

Bodacious Bevo 3584

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2 minutes ago, ATXbronco said:

Legacy members, what's the "schiano" thing all about?

Tennessee was going to hire him as HC a few years back then they had protests on their campus so the AD backed out and hired Pruitt

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/21579125/tennessee-volunteers-no-longer-hire-greg-schiano-head-coach

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Bevo

Bevo 13576

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12 minutes ago, blacklab said:

Lets keep this thread on track.

Off topic posts are going to be deleted and if it happens a few times from the same people they will take some time off.

To get things back on topic after this relapse, are we thinking Lupoi is the top target or the FSU guy, Marve, or some random guy?

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texifornia

texifornia 56922

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12 minutes ago, ousux said:

Just when I thought it was safe to get back into Longhorn football, Sark goes and hires a cockgobbler, and a disgraced one at that?

Mikey could stay in Saban rehab until he retires, still wouldnt wash the Stoops out of him. *facepalm*

 

9 minutes ago, ousux said:
17 minutes ago, CoachEmUp64 said:
My .02c on Mike Stoops from experience-
Dude is bipolar AF- Says all the right things, funny, great story teller, and everyone wants to hang around him. But he's also arrogant, short temper, kind of crazy, and just an all around a$$ hole
Old school recruiter, one of the best in the game at negative BS narrative, used car salesman type, but he's really good at it. (does that tactic still work in 2021, who knows?)
As a LB coach, he's good to great. 
At x's and o's, he's good to great.
As a play caller, well.... you know the story there. 
At developing relationships with players- refer back to first line. 

Will he neg recruit against blowU? Thats the question. Once a cockgoblin, always a cockgoblin.

Buddy, you're going to need to catch up with at least 7ish this morning before you start replying.

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LTtxfan

LTtxfan 49173

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19 minutes ago, UncleSonny said:

Looks like Mike took down all the likes and RTs from last night. Hopefully that's the the last time I ever have to look up that Barney Rubble fuck.

Since coaches/staff hiring discussions here....

FUCK HIRING MIKE STOOPS FOR ANY ROLE AT TEXAS !!! 🤘

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Newy25

Newy25 7668

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42 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I've seen you push this bullshit on this board several times now, and you're a terrible poster. Of course you're a fucking brit thinking you know better. Just go back to the greasefire that is the Cloak Room, and forget that the other boards exist. In short, neg rep, and fuck off.


Imagine being pathetic enough to only post and read the Cloak Room and not have the self awareness to realize that bragging about that fact is probably not a good idea. 

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alphahorn

alphahorn 1637

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9 minutes ago, blacklab said:

Those are the 3 I keep hearing.

But the first I heard of Joseph and K when they we announced so I don't know what to think now.

Could be out of left field again.

This is probably the most accurate thing said all day.  All the rumors have been trolls.  Sark is doing his own thing.

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PassiveAggressiveCoach

PassiveAggressiveCoach 118

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12 hours ago, PassiveAggressiveCoach said:

Anyone think Sark wakes up tomorrow morning really hungover looks at his phone and instantly regrets tonight? 

This happened and this morning he had to call him back and say remember that talk we had last night. I was fucking hammered and them was just jokes. Sorry. Talk to ya later. 

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BurntOrangeBlooded15

BurntOrangeBlooded15 1566

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30 minutes ago, Pam Cummings said:

Sark: we're hiring Lupoi

Compliance dept: no way, he's too risky, he's gonna get us in trouble

Sark: i thought you might say that, good thing i have a backup plan. Gonna pivot to mike st-

Compliance dept: oh fuck you. Here's Lupoi's badge and parking pass.

 

 

That is the fairy tale that i will tell myself to get over this.

This is what I choose to believe.  

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bigup2dahorns

bigup2dahorns 3343

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Austin, Texas – Texas Head Football Coach Steve Sarkisian is nearing completion of his Longhorn assistant coaching staff, he announced on Friday. All totaled among the nine assistant coaches and Director of Football Performance, the staff has a combined 206 years of coaching experience, including 180 years in collegiate coaching, has coached in 93 bowl games, 11 CFP playoff games and seven National Championship Games, and they have won six of those.

"I'm so excited with how this staff is coming together and thrilled to be officially announcing a tremendous group of coaches, teachers and mentors that will be joining us at Texas," Sarkisian said. "From a developmental and scheme standpoint, there's a lot that goes into finding the right mix of coaches to put together to make your staff. We put a ton of thought into this, looked for the best fit in every position, are very happy with how it's working out, and I really believe you can put this group of coaches up against any staff in the country. They all are highly-regarded, knowledgeable, proven coaches and teachers who can recruit with the best of them and will develop players and maximize their ability. All of them have had a lot of success, are outstanding mentors, coaches and leaders of men, and it's just a great group of guys. They'll all bring their strengths, but at the end of the day, we will come together as one to work toward achieving our common goal of building an elite program and winning championships."

Three members of the assistant coaching staff were part of Alabama's 2020 National Championship season, four have experience coaching in the NFL, two will be continuing their tenure on the Longhorn staff, and all totaled, they have combined to work with 25 conference championship teams.

"Player development, X's and O's and ability to recruit were our priorities with this staff. When you look at their backgrounds, there's experience and expertise from an NFL standpoint, coaching at a very high level in the college ranks, and it's an outstanding collection of proven and successful recruiters, as well," Sarkisian added. "For every coach we hired, I looked closely at their ability to recruit and evaluate prospects, and this group can do that with the best of them. They all have a great recruiting background and many of them with significant ties to recruiting in the state of Texas."

The group has touched almost every area of the country, while still possessing significant experience both coaching and recruiting in the state of Texas. Six of the assistant coaches have spent time coaching in the Lone Star State, and a seventh was a standout player for the Longhorns.

"It was critical to hire enough coaches with ties to the state of Texas, and extensive backgrounds recruiting our great state," Sarkisian said. "The Texas high school coaches are exceptional, and our relationships with them are critical, essential and priority number one. We will recruit nationally, but we know we have to take care of Texas first and this is a staff that will do that extremely well."

Sarkisian also placed considerable emphasis on building a staff that would work well together, have camaraderie and establish strong relationships with the student-athletes.

"Coaching is big, and they all have excellent track records in training players and developing fundamentals and techniques, but it's a group that will do a phenomenal job building relationships and developing players, which will be a huge priority for us," Sarkisian said. "Camaraderie was a key, as well. I think a staff that works well together works well with its players, and this group will definitely do that. This is a staff that will build tremendous relationships, cares deeply about the student-athletes and will put our young men in a position to be successful on the football field, in the classroom and in all aspects of their lives."

"I'm pumped up about our coaching staff, there's a lot of work to be done, and now it's time to roll up our sleeves and get to work."

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SquishMitten

SquishMitten 10403

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24 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Tennessee was going to hire him as HC a few years back then they had protests on their campus so the AD backed out and hired Pruitt

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/21579125/tennessee-volunteers-no-longer-hire-greg-schiano-head-coach

Haha. I forgot that Pruitt was the ultimate hire. 

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JesusSweatDuck

JesusSweatDuck 17781

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31 minutes ago, Bodacious Bevo said:

Tennessee was going to hire him as HC a few years back then they had protests on their campus so the AD backed out and hired Pruitt

https://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/21579125/tennessee-volunteers-no-longer-hire-greg-schiano-head-coach

and we saw how that one worked out... (no jinx)

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18547

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As much as I'm dumbfounded and pissed that Sark would ever think this would fly and that he could pull an end run after he had already been told no unequivocally on Stoops the first time... it's all worth it just for the image of that steaming bucket of dick cheese Mike Stoops going to bed thinking he's going to be a paid position coach again, and he's got his coaching career back on track. You can almost see the shiteating grin on his face. And he starts mouthing off to some third rate Alabama reporter and trolling on Twitter and really feeling his oats. And you just know he was super jacked (coked?) to be at Texas much less where he could exact his revenge on OU and that little shit Lincoln Riley for shitcanning him and showing them what a fucking mistake they made... and then his waking up to the phone call. "Hey buddy, remember when I offered you that job? Sorry, man. Just couldn't make it happen. Have fun licking Saban's taint in Tuscaloosa for minimum wage the next year. Good bye, and good luck."

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