Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

[Teryor 4407]

1 minute ago, derpyhorndog said:

Of the potential coaching targets that Josh Brown has followed, have you checked to see which of them have followed him back? If the thought is that JB is in some way involved in the hiring or onboarding process, that would seem relevant since most people have their Twitter account set to where they can't be DM'ed by anyone that they don't follow. 

Coaches are generally more canny about the Twitter following until stuff is announced. Moreso when they're currently contracted somewhere. I'd guarantee Texas gives employees that need to be in touch a more number/email and they're given a heads up by employees they're in contact with to expect contact from x. I've been involved in an industry/sport where this is a "concern" and that's how our org dealt with it.

[Nicole44 22023]

1 minute ago, derpyhorndog said:

The CTJ/Eltife jet has been in Miami since about 8'clock night of the 7th, so that's a safe assumption. 

Hanging out on Kahn’s yacht? Just kidding. So Arnett is out of the running? Is that over and done? 

[TexasEx 1667]

4 minutes ago, derpyhorndog said:

The CTJ/Eltife jet has been in Miami since about 8'clock night of the 7th, so that's a safe assumption. 

Any intel on whether said jet has a stripper pole? 

[HateYouAndMyself 828]

1 minute ago, TexasEx said:

Any intel on whether said jet has a stripper pole? 

Or a very small seat belt that would fit a pet monkey?

[Sir Ulrich 5187]

10 minutes ago, derpyhorndog said:

Of the potential coaching targets that Josh Brown has followed, have you checked to see which of them have followed him back? If the thought is that JB is in some way involved in the hiring or onboarding process, that would seem relevant since most people have their Twitter account set to where they can't be DM'ed by anyone that they don't follow. 

Don't think he is involved in a major way but thinking he must have a buddy on the onboarding side that is feeding him stuff. 

[gmr548 16463]

If you want a former NFL player, get Romo. I can’t count how many times he knew exactly what the call was going to be. 

That tells you he should make defensive calls.

[derpyhorndog 2554]

21 minutes ago, TexasEx said:

Any intel on whether said jet has a stripper pole? 

Anything can be a stripper pole if you use your imagination /pole_assassin. 

[BrickTop 474]

So yea I started following Banks girl _pole assassin on Instagram this is her

[GTX Horn 1707]

3 minutes ago, BrickTop said:

So yea I started following Banks girl _pole assassin on Instagram this is her

Have you slid into her DMs yet to ask her if she's moving to Austin? If not, you're slacking, man!

[RandomIdoit 655]

8 minutes ago, gmr548 said:

That tells you he should make defensive calls.

Made his money reading defenses. 

[BrickTop 474]

And the pet monkey

[RandomIdoit 655]

1 minute ago, RandomIdoit said:

Made his money reading defenses, but he’s pretty good at reading offenses too. 

[closetohumping 17380]

24 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

Don't think he is involved in a major way but thinking he must have a buddy on the onboarding side that is feeding him stuff. 

Or he’s reading this board?

[BrickTop 474]

Have you slid into her DMs yet to ask her if she's moving to Austin? If not, you're slacking, man!

Doubt I could afford it

[Huckleberry 32685]

3 hours ago, Fud said:

He’s got his roots deep in Nola now 

But I'm sure he wants to get back to Austin to spend more time with his mother.

 

(dark joke works two ways)

Edited January 11, 2021 by Huckleberry

[Levi 2576]

15 minutes ago, BrickTop said:

So yea I started following Banks girl _pole assassin on Instagram this is her

Edited January 11, 2021 by DoneWithit

[totallynotabuttpirate 5341]

Weird bellybutton, do not want. 

[BrickTop 474]

Her Instagram makes her look like 4-5 different people depending on makeup and hair color/clothing it’s quite odd some are quite appealing, some not so much

[hobbs 242]

Pole Assassin + Monkey Gia =

Shit, I don't know what the hell it equals.

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

That jacket could do OK in the Big 12 because it’s offensive.

Edited January 11, 2021 by The Earl of Texas

[BrickTop 474]

Pole Assassin + Monkey Gia =

Shit, I don't know what the hell it equals.

It equals Alabama

[Butch Had Not 2940]

8 hours ago, Butch Had Not said:

My unknowns that nobody has mentioned are:

Brad white Kentucky 

Pete Alphabet U Washington 

Just so when it happens I can gloat. 

Gonna add Tem Lukabu, BC defensive coordinator. Just because. 

[Sir Ulrich 5187]

1 hour ago, Wayne said:

Roach on Tosh

I’ve been told there have been substantial conversations between Tosh Lupoi and Texas. From what I know, if he wants a job there’s an opening here from him. He and Sark are close but I’ve been told it is not for any play calling duties on defense. As I reported last week, Lupoi really wants to come back as a DC and play caller to get back on track towards being a head coach.

One school to watch out for is Oregon. The Ducks have a DC opening and head coach Mario Cristobal is also close with Lupoi. Lupoi also has family in the Pacific Northwest so Oregon would be very intriguing. If Cristobal offers him play calling duties that could be a wrap. 

I’m told he’s still mulling over options.

With the DC likely being Golding then that leaves Arnett going to Oregon so Tosh more than likely won't have the option to call plays there.

Also Oregon 247 posters are excited Todd Orlando could be a DC there so pray for those poor souls. 

[Bevo14 8260]

1 minute ago, Sir Ulrich said:

With the DC likely being Golding then that leaves Arnett going to Oregon so Tosh more than likely won't have the option to call plays there.

Also Oregon 247 posters are excited Todd Orlando could be a DC there so pray for those poor souls. 

Maybe he stopped blitzing from Mars.

[texifornia 56434]

Just now, Bevo14 said:

Maybe he stopped blitzing from Mars.

Blitzing from Mars works year one. Then everyone figures it out.

[canadianhorn21 926]

38 minutes ago, BrickTop said:

So yea I started following Banks girl _pole assassin on Instagram this is her

Imagine all the money she gonna make at the yellow rose from surly

[Kurt Bowels 213]

4 hours ago, ATXbronco said:

Sounds like Drew Brees will retire after the playoffs are over.  I'm shocked he's still in it with all those busted ribs.

Would be nice to put some feelers in and see if he'd be interested in joining the staff and being groomed for an eventual quarterbacks coach type position.

He's not Texas Ex but he is "from" Austin and his Uncle played Quarterback for UT.  

 

 

[Sgt. Slaughter 2841]

17 minutes ago, BrickTop said:

Her Instagram makes her look like 4-5 different people depending on makeup and hair color/clothing it’s quite odd some are quite appealing, some not so much

Has anyone ever seen @poleassassin and @tomherman in the same room at the same time?

[IDIOTsavant 8437]

1 minute ago, Sgt. Slaughter said:

Has anyone ever seen @poleassassin and @tomherman in the same room at the same time?

With or without lines?

[Getafix 28392]

2 minutes ago, Sgt. Slaughter said:

Has anyone ever seen @poleassassin and @tomherman in the same room at the same time?

 

@zachsmith has.

[Voluminous Banality 1032]

I learned today that Blue Bell is trash, Ash is trash (again), 6 + 5 equals more than 10, allegedly, Nick Saban is trying to pawn off his entire offensive staff to Texas, but we’re too good for Alabama’s scrub coaches (unless they’re not coming), and Drew Brees may soon be on his way to Austin to be groomed for a possible future role coaching quarterbacks if he shows any potential in that department. In summary, just another day of Surly education.

[HenryJames 65868]

2 minutes ago, Voluminous Banality said:

I learned today that Blue Bell is trash, Ash is trash (again), 6 + 5 equals more than 10, allegedly, Nick Saban is trying to pawn off his entire offensive staff to Texas, but we’re too good for Alabama’s scrub coaches (unless they’re not coming), and Drew Brees may soon be on his way to Austin to be groomed for a possible future role coaching quarterbacks if he shows any potential in that department. In summary, just another day of Surly education.

Username checks out.

[taybo20 2815]

2 hours ago, dcar00 said:

unless Saban is retiring there is no way we are taking half the Bama staff.

Yeah I don’t see him retiring quite yet...

[Bigbend1812 12877]

4 hours ago, RichUT said:

God dammit. You fucks need to stop Urban or Busting up this thread. Get in a fucking chat room with all this ice cream bullshit.

 

[GTX Horn 1707]

39 minutes ago, hobbs said:

Pole Assassin + Monkey Gia =

Shit, I don't know what the hell it equals.

Pole Assassin + Monkey Gia = championships, motherfucker

[thunderlounge 7733]

1 hour ago, HateYouAndMyself said:

Or a very small seat belt that would fit a pet monkey?

 

45 minutes ago, hobbs said:

Pole Assassin + Monkey Gia =

Shit, I don't know what the hell it equals.

 

 

[Gil Bang 25865]

back in my day, a man kept his monkey where it belongs...in his briefcase. 

[LarryMoeSurly 411]

1 hour ago, BrickTop said:

So yea I started following Banks girl _pole assassin on Instagram this is her

Not attractive. 

[Born Burnt 6147]

Fuck all this store-bought shit y'all be posting.

[thunderlounge 7733]

16 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

back in my day, a man kept his monkey where it belongs...in his briefcase secretary. 

 

fify

[Laxtonto 11926]

15 minutes ago, LarryMoeSurly said:

Not attractive. 

 

Not my cup of tea, but the pole assassin moniker is well deserved

 

Edited January 11, 2021 by Laxtonto

[Newy25 7638]

5 hours ago, ATXbronco said:

Sounds like Drew Brees will retire after the playoffs are over.  I'm shocked he's still in it with all those busted ribs.

Would be nice to put some feelers in and see if he'd be interested in joining the staff and being groomed for an eventual quarterbacks coach type position.

He's not Texas Ex but he is "from" Austin and his Uncle played Quarterback for UT.  

 

 

We should probably also ask Sean Payton if he would join our staff as an analyst and groom him to one day be a position coach. 

 

[Rockwell Torrey 1276]

4 minutes ago, Laxtonto said:

 

 

Nice find.  So that is our next TE coach’s girlfriend.  Better than Warehime.  

[DanTheHorn 4893]

2 hours ago, dcar00 said:

unless Saban is retiring there is no way we are taking half the Bama staff.

So if Saban retires we get the Alabama staff and then Alabama takes Jimbo how fun would that be for us.

[Mitch Cumsteen 18517]

1 hour ago, canadianhorn21 said:

Imagine all the money she gonna make at the yellow rose from surly

Shit. She starts posting here and she's probably on the Austin city council in about a year. 

[NTVTXN 1432]

8 hours ago, Nicole44 said:

And a scoop of that with Amy’s Mexican Vanilla over my mom’s peach cobbler and it’s the best dessert ever.

This may be the best post of all time in this place.  No offense to your Mom, but you could put a scoop of Amy’s Mexican Vanilla on warm poop and I’d contemplate diving in...#nocap 

[Pam Cummings 9553]

22 minutes ago, Laxtonto said:

 

Not my cup of tea, but the pole assassin moniker is well deserved

 

The man knows how to evaluate talent.

[huge 3788]

Romo makes $17M. No way he comes and takes less than Sark.

Guess we gotta bump Sark up to $20m

[GTX Horn 1707]

18 minutes ago, DanTheHorn said:

So if Saban retires we get the Alabama staff and then Alabama takes Jimbo how fun would that be for us.

Jimbo to Bama then Herman to aggy

[jTower 225]

2 hours ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

Jacking half of Bama's coaching staff is going to feel a metric fuckton better than that time we stole most of Houston's staff.  

Is Saban in the half coming?