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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

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HOLY SHIT WE'RE ROOTING FOR BRIAN FUCKING DAVIS TO BE RIGHT
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closetojumping
closetojumping

Just got a text from my friend in the Bama program that Flood and Wiggins are going with Sark. It's done.

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nope, reposding to other posters. You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole I'm gonna lose to OU THIS many times   Texas fucking sucks now, and you ALLLLLLL know it. Good

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RGBIII

RGBIII 23009

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3 minutes ago, GTA-Horn said:

HC = Sark

Co-OC/OL = Flood

Co-OC/QB = Millwee

AHC/RB = Drayton

Outside WR = Wiggins

Inside WR/TEs = Coleman

DC/LB = Ash or ?

DT = Davis

DE = Giles

DB = Joseph

ST/S = Gideon

No. Ash/Giles has the same chance I do getting on this staff. And I bet Coleman is an analyst and I don’t think Gideon is coaching safeties 

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dcar00

dcar00 14899

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Me too. Surprised we didn’t. I mean, I’m blown away that the entire staff wasn’t announced last night just before the game to make the biggest splash, but nothing as of now is also a surprise. 

 surprised a little but this was Sark's day.  I would expect announce most of the new staff tomorrow, Thurs, Fri because they need to get recruiting asap but I think it is coordinated to get some pub through the week. Sat and Sun doesn't matter because the NFL will dominate.

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ztejas

ztejas 44114

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19 minutes ago, Lhorn said:

Is that a luggage tag on EJs shoe? Is that a thing?
I honestly don’t follow the recruiting and 9.95 guys to know who is hated and who is less hated, except of course FCB. He can go screw.

There's a designer named Virgil Abloh that puts them on some of the shoes he does for Nike. I guess to make them look more exclusive or as part of a fashion statement. Pretty douchey imo. Basically a way of telling people how much money you spent on a pair of shoes. 

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Txslnghrns

Txslnghrns 1357

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Is that a luggage tag on EJs shoe? Is that a thing?
I honestly don’t follow the recruiting and 9.95 guys to know who is hated and who is less hated, except of course FCB. He can go screw.

It is a thing. “Luxury” brand called Off-White. And the tag is a part of all of their shoes. Retail around tree fiddy. Seriously.
c7426319441507b6298089a3e9f75e3c.webp
Now back to the topic at hand.

Edit: ztejas beat me to it.
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BachelorTrek

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6 minutes ago, dcar00 said:

 surprised a little but this was Sark's day.  I would expect announce most of the new staff tomorrow, Thurs, Fri because they need to get recruiting asap but I think it is coordinated to get some pub through the week. Sat and Sun doesn't matter because the NFL will dominate.

Careful now. We don't want him "to get some pub" and have Sark "Mike-Price" himself (the drinking binges even before the hooker stuff) and have him "Jump the Sark" on himself before he has the chance to do great things here.  LULZ

Hook'Em!

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GTA-Horn

GTA-Horn 11

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22 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

No. Ash/Giles has the same chance I do getting on this staff. And I bet Coleman is an analyst and I don’t think Gideon is coaching safeties 

Coleman is not an analyst, he is and will be coaching the wideouts.  There is no reason for you to be certain one way or another about Ash/Giles.  

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TheFlyingBoat

TheFlyingBoat 913

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2 hours ago, The Ghost of Hau Pham said:


Not to confuse the point here, but didn’t Eagles have a ridiculously low shuttle time in high school? It was 3.99 seconds I think which is an elite time for running backs, which makes it even more impressive that he did it as a WR at like 6’4” 215 lbs. Damn, I wonder what an actually competent offensive scheme could’ve done for the dude, I think he probably could’ve succeeded in the slot as well.

Facts and great username

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Voluminous Banality

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36 minutes ago, BachelorTrek said:

Careful now. We don't want him "to get some pub" and have Sark "Mike-Price" himself (the drinking binges even before the hooker stuff) and have him "Jump the Sark" on himself before he has the chance to do great things here.  LULZ

Hook'Em!

Though I realize that tedious and banal self-amusement is a major part of what we do here, I'll cast my one meaningless vote for not making tired and unfunny Sark drinking jokes a thing.

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closetojumping

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2 hours ago, touchthemonolith said:

Semi-serious question: Is there anyone on the Texas football beat that surly doesn't have a hate boner for? I get the hate for FCB because, well, fuck him, but in the past few days I've read that Taylor Estes is a useless bitch, Mike Roach is a fucking hack who doesn't know the first thing about recruiting, Cedric Golden, Brian Davis, and Kirk Bohls are incompetent assclowns who just makes shit up, etc. I'm frankly not informed enough to have an opinion one way or the other, but I'm curious if there's anyone that isn't universally loathed.

 

Burton deserves respect, irrespective of whether anyone likes him. He is a pioneer in the $9.95 world, has mentored many in that space, conducts himself as a professional and has made himself millions of dollars more than once doing what he loves. I’ve dealt with him and consider him a solid professional. He has great sources. Was he Mack’s shill? Yeah, they were buddies. I can’t defend that. I know he loves UT though. Fun fact, he’s significantly older than me but we basically grew up in the same neighborhood. 

Ketchum is a piece of shit. Few people with less talent have had more success due to basically being the only person around at just the right time. He’s a poor man’s sports version of Ringo Starr or something, only I don’t think Ringo Starr is fundamentally corrupt.

Gerry learned the right habits under Burton and his personality and brains have taken him to fun career places.

Howe learned the right habits under Gerry and Burton but doesn’t have their talent or Gerry’s eye for evaluating. 

Nahlin has solid connections but just being a good recruiting and program reporter will never be enough and he can’t get out of his own way with his bullshit and bad habits. 

Chip Brown is, allegedly, a degenerate with habits and behaviors so egregious that they’ve led to him compromising the interests of the program for personal gain, or to keep the Russian mob from removing his knee caps. Crystal Conte having a relationship with FCB is a sign that Crystal still has a bunch of shit to learn. It’s fucking idiotic and a BMD or someone should have a fucking word with him. 

While Mike Roach and EJ Holland apparently think they had dinner with me, I’ve never met Roach. He does good hustle work and he’s affable, real affable. However, he’s clueless on the way all this works and how to handle risk with predictions.

Anyone working for Ketchum is a schmuck and the CFB equivalent of a smut peddler at best and pimped-out whore at worst.

Don’t know the rest of the IT guys but they seem alright, outside of Ian Boyd’s insipid and inane ramblings about various niche defensive calls made by Air Force or South Alabama or whatever draws his attention for the next 6,000 words spewed onto the screen with his name on it.

TFB seems okay when they stay in their lane.

 

1 hour ago, Laxtonto said:

So we announced a new HC today and the only legit news about the staff was from our own CTJ confirming Flood, Wiggins, and Milwee from his Bama contacts?

 

Yeah, the 9.95 brigade is completely in the dark and it looks like one has an in with Sark and co...

To be clear, the $9.95ers do not think the Wiggins info is correct. Bama mods are not only not confirming it, but calling it bullshit. Hell, maybe he’s leaving Bama and not coming here. It should be fun to watch, as we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned source-off. I can’t wait to get trolled if my friend is wrong, but it’s hard for me to doubt even knowing the other data points. 

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Not a Sock

Not a Sock 2362

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4 hours ago, closetojumping said:

 

Burton deserves respect, irrespective of whether anyone likes him. He is a pioneer in the $9.95 world, has mentored many in that space, conducts himself as a professional and has made himself millions of dollars more than once doing what he loves. I’ve dealt with him and consider him a solid professional. He has great sources. Was he Mack’s shill? Yeah, they were buddies. I can’t defend that. I know he loves UT though. Fun fact, he’s significantly older than me but we basically grew up in the same neighborhood. 

Ketchum is a piece of shit. Few people with less talent have had more success due to basically being the only person around at just the right time. He’s a poor man’s sports version of Ringo Starr or something, only I don’t think Ringo Starr is fundamentally corrupt.

Gerry learned the right habits under Burton and his personality and brains have taken him to fun career places.

Howe learned the right habits under Gerry and Burton but doesn’t have their talent or Gerry’s eye for evaluating. 

Nahlin has solid connections but just being a good recruiting and program reporter will never be enough and he can’t get out of his own way with his bullshit and bad habits. 

Chip Brown is, allegedly, a degenerate with habits and behaviors so egregious that they’ve led to him compromising the interests of the program for personal gain, or to keep the Russian mob from removing his knee caps. Crystal Conte having a relationship with FCB is a sign that Crystal still has a bunch of shit to learn. It’s fucking idiotic and a BMD or someone should have a fucking word with him. 

While Mike Roach and EJ Holland apparently think they had dinner with me, I’ve never met Roach. He does good hustle work and he’s affable, real affable. However, he’s clueless on the way all this works and how to handle risk with predictions.

Anyone working for Ketchum is a schmuck and the CFB equivalent of a smut peddler at best and pimped-out whore at worst.

Don’t know the rest of the IT guys but they seem alright, outside of Ian Boyd’s insipid and inane ramblings about various niche defensive calls made by Air Force or South Alabama or whatever draws his attention for the next 6,000 words spewed onto the screen with his name on it.

TFB seems okay when they stay in their lane.

 

To be clear, the $9.95ers do not think the Wiggins info is correct. Bama mods are not only not confirming it, but calling it bullshit. Hell, maybe he’s leaving Bama and not coming here. It should be fun to watch, as we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned source-off. I can’t wait to get trolled if my friend is wrong, but it’s hard for me to doubt even knowing the other data points. 

Did anyone ever figure out who Roach and EJ had dinner with? It was someone from the old board, but who? 

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jdhorn92

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10 minutes ago, Not a Sock said:

Did anyone ever figure out who Roach and EJ had dinner with? It was someone from the old board, but who? 

Some combo of HP Slugga, rpongett , billinsinton and/or longhorn Matt. Miss anyone ?

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65245

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1 hour ago, Katfid54 said:

I thought it was SLXpress?

Yeah. 

46 minutes ago, Not a Sock said:

Fuck that must have been the most awkward dinner party ever.

EJ Holland wrote about it, which is part of what made it even more absurd, but yeah, it sounded ... like quite the occasion. 

I can’t remember all the details and haven’t spoken to SLX in years. It seems like the premise was he invited them to dinner - he is a connector type and that’s not unusual if he’s interested in understanding something. He gave them a choice to eat wherever they’d like and he’d buy. 

Roach and Holland pushed for Appleby’s while SLX was thinking a steakhouse or sushi. 

They show up and Roach starts ordering food immediately. Holland starts talking. That continued to be the theme. Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort. Holland, meanwhile, proceeds to lament the utter lack of knowledge about the game of football among the UT fanbase. He drinks like 4 shakes and never stops talking about himself, clothes, or his career aspirations as a serious novelist. He couldn’t remember SLX’s real name at the end of the meal when they depart. 

SLX tells @SydneyCarton, the “Greg Davis on 3rd and 5” graphic guy, and me about the experience and it sounded predictable yet surreal. He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach and considered EJ Holland a useless dipshit that knew almost as little as he cared in regard to the sport or UT. 

I despise Holland and used to run him over on 247 and he’d go cry to Burton and then appeal to sycophants on that board who would then bitch at me for being a meanie. I thought the guy was trash and too far in the bag for the trainers and their agendas, so I never let up. In one breakdown of one of his idiotic positions, he froze my posting ability while he proceeded to rebut me and let cronies defend him as well, without addressing any facts or merit, for like an hour. So I unsubscribed and moved on. 

Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know. 

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Daichee Bell

Daichee Bell 3062

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9 hours ago, RGBIII said:

Man I thought inside texas was going to have the juice with all the coaching search but they are absolutely grasping at straws. I think they got in with the BMDs more than the admin and aren’t getting fed shit at this point, while lap dog FCB is just being hand fed by CDC. What a strange turn of events

I need to go back and listen to the press conference, but FCB made a comment about already knowing Sark.  Wonder if that gave him an in. 

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GeoffE

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1 minute ago, Daichee Bell said:

I need to go back and listen to the press conference, but FCB made a comment about already knowing Sark.  Wonder if that gave him an in. 

I thought he mentioned Sean Adams and how Sean knew Sark and that he and Sean used to be on a radio show together. Or something like that.

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Chili dog

Chili dog 1808

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7 hours ago, GTA-Horn said:

HC = Sark

Co-OC/OL = Flood

Co-OC/QB = Millwee

AHC/RB = Drayton

Outside WR = Wiggins

Inside WR/TEs = Coleman

DC/LB = Ash or ?

DT = Davis

DE = Giles

DB = Joseph

ST/S = Gideon

I doubt we will have two DL coaches, especially if we’re running three down. More likely to have two linebacker coaches (inside and outside).

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RGBIII

RGBIII 23009

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8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know. 

He also ran over basically every single one of his former co workers and bosses on the way out as well. Dude has stepped on too many toes to make it far at this point. Also is a complete fucking douche

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Daichee Bell

Daichee Bell 3062

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7 minutes ago, GeoffE said:

I thought he mentioned Sean Adams and how Sean knew Sark and that he and Sean used to be on a radio show together. Or something like that.

Yeah, that’s what it was. They had some tangential relationship. Thought that may have led to him getting the initial Sark info after being wrong on most stuff leading up to that. 

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Fug

Fug 604

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9 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

QB - Milwee

Co-OC/OL - Flood

Co-OC/WR - Wiggins

RB - Drayton

TE - Coleman

 

DC/LB - ???

DL - Davis

S - Terry Joesph

CB - ???

 

Special Teams - Gideon

Minor thing but I bet Drayton retains his AHC title

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NoName

NoName 17105

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1 minute ago, Fug said:

Minor thing but I bet Drayton retains his AHC title

i'm going to be really curious what happens with the AHC title - does it stay w/ Drayton? does he get a $$$ bump to give it up? Do they "overpay" someone else who would get the AHC title normally but it stays w/ Drayton?

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Kanly

Kanly 554

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EJ came out to louisville to watch rondale moore just after he committed to us. On his next podcast he described Louisville as a shitty town with no ice cream. There is a graeter's about a block from trinity high school. What a douchebag.

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Newy25

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2 minutes ago, Kanly said:

EJ came out to louisville to watch rondale moore just after he committed to us. On his next podcast he described Louisville as a shitty town with no ice cream. There is a graeter's about a block from trinity high school. What a douchebag.


That’s your takeaway from that episode? His lack of ice cream knowledge? How about the fact that EJ thought Moore was a poor evaluation by the staff and a bad football prospect? 

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Kanly

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Just now, Newy25 said:


That’s your takeaway from that episode? His lack of ice cream knowledge? How about the fact that EJ thought Moore was a poor evaluation by the staff and a bad football prospect? 

Well I never listened to it for his football takes. He would latch onto certain recruits and then disregard anyone else. He gargled Waddles balls and didn't think anyone else could play ball. I liked listening to roach try to find his place in the profession. He had an eagerness that was endearing and refreshing.

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JesusSweatDuck

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12 minutes ago, Kanly said:

EJ came out to louisville to watch rondale moore just after he committed to us. On his next podcast he described Louisville as a shitty town with no ice cream. There is a graeter's about a block from trinity high school. What a douchebag.

I mean Louisville is a shitty town but not due to a lack of ice cream

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billfromlaketravis

billfromlaketravis 11784

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5 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


That’s your takeaway from that episode? His lack of ice cream knowledge? How about the fact that EJ thought Moore was a poor evaluation by the staff and a bad football prospect? 

EJ should have retired after the Rondale Moore "evaluation". 

Credit to the kid for outkicking his coverage. His wife is on her way to becoming a doctor, and she's attractive. 

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Viper

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44 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Yeah. 

EJ Holland wrote about it, which is part of what made it even more absurd, but yeah, it sounded ... like quite the occasion. 

I can’t remember all the details and haven’t spoken to SLX in years. It seems like the premise was he invited them to dinner - he is a connector type and that’s not unusual if he’s interested in understanding something. He gave them a choice to eat wherever they’d like and he’d buy. 

Roach and Holland pushed for Appleby’s while SLX was thinking a steakhouse or sushi. 

They show up and Roach starts ordering food immediately. Holland starts talking. That continued to be the theme. Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort. Holland, meanwhile, proceeds to lament the utter lack of knowledge about the game of football among the UT fanbase. He drinks like 4 shakes and never stops talking about himself, clothes, or his career aspirations as a serious novelist. He couldn’t remember SLX’s real name at the end of the meal when they depart. 

SLX tells @SydneyCarton, the “Greg Davis on 3rd and 5” graphic guy, and me about the experience and it sounded predictable yet surreal. He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach and considered EJ Holland a useless dipshit that knew almost as little as he cared in regard to the sport or UT. 

I despise Holland and used to run him over on 247 and he’d go cry to Burton and then appeal to sycophants on that board who would then bitch at me for being a meanie. I thought the guy was trash and too far in the bag for the trainers and their agendas, so I never let up. In one breakdown of one of his idiotic positions, he froze my posting ability while he proceeded to rebut me and let cronies defend him as well, without addressing any facts or merit, for like an hour. So I unsubscribed and moved on. 

Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know. 

You forgot EJ asked the restaurant to make him avocado toast

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texifornia

texifornia 58781

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17 minutes ago, Kanly said:

EJ came out to louisville to watch rondale moore just after he committed to us. On his next podcast he described Louisville as a shitty town with no ice cream. There is a graeter's about a block from trinity high school. What a douchebag.

 

14 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


That’s your takeaway from that episode? His lack of ice cream knowledge? How about the fact that EJ thought Moore was a poor evaluation by the staff and a bad football prospect? 

I think the lesson is that EJ sucks at evaluating everything but marital prospects.

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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 21158

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Just confirmation that everyone wants to interview Arnett but no one wants to offer him the job:

Quote

Zach Arnett: Last night we reported LSU does not plan to offer Zach Arnett their defensive coordinator job (per source). Today, we can add that Oregon does not plan to either (per source). Arnett interviewed for the jobs over the past two days.

https://footballscoop.com/the-scoop-2/the-scoop-wednesday-january-13-2021/

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