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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

closetohumping

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Posted by Teryor,

HOLY SHIT WE'RE ROOTING FOR BRIAN FUCKING DAVIS TO BE RIGHT
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https://www.captiongenerator.com/2107502/SurlyHorns-Reacts-to-the-Coaching-Search Enable subtitles if you're watching embedded.  

closetojumping
closetojumping

Just got a text from my friend in the Bama program that Flood and Wiggins are going with Sark. It's done.

2578
2578

nope, reposding to other posters. You want an asshole? I'll show you an asshole I'm gonna lose to OU THIS many times   Texas fucking sucks now, and you ALLLLLLL know it. Good

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65246

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One thing I forgot to add on the guys covering this stuff is that Jeff Howe is one of the good guys. He’s nice, he pays attention and has a good bullshit filter for what he’s being fed by recruits/street agents/he coaches, he gives a shit, he does leg work regarding watching guys and talking to folks, you name it. I will be surprised if he’s not at whatever Burton and crew are building before the end of 2021. 

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GRHorn

GRHorn 105

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14 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

EJ should have retired after the Rondale Moore "evaluation". 

Credit to the kid for outkicking his coverage. His wife is on her way to becoming a doctor, and she's attractive. 

This is probably part of the reason he’s a douche professionally. In the back of his mind he’s thinking “I don’t need this shit. I’m set down the road.” Then his wife picks family practice and he’s not really balling to the level he’s expected. 

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Wulaw Horn

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12 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Mike Elko takes exception to this statement. 

Ha. 
Funny story- Elko’s kids play select baseball with my nephews up in college station. My brother is an aggy. My dad is up there watching a game and corners Elko and is trying to chat him up (for whatever reason I don’t know- but I’m hearing the story and then I’m cringing about my dad). I think it was something along the lines of asking him if he was taking a head job somewhere else and getting the fuck out of college station or if he was gonna stick around there. And then I think he asked about a recruit we were both in on like- hey where such and such going- all while the poor bastard was trying to watch his kid play baseball. 
I think then dad proceeded to ask how much money he was getting paid in Hien next raise or something totally gauche like that. 
Just about the time I was starting to feel sorry for poor Elko, having my dad go full on social retard on him, he started telling me about Elko’s part of the conversation and mannerisms and actions during the game and my response was fuck that guy- those two morons (dad and elko) deserved to spend 2 hours together watching 11 year old baseball and generally making asses of themselves. 
now that I typed that whole story out I realize it’s probably way funnier to me than to anyone else, in a you have to know the characters kind of way I guess- but deleting this all on my cell phone would be too many keystrokes. 

Edited by Wulaw Horn
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Not a Sock

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Yeah. 

EJ Holland wrote about it, which is part of what made it even more absurd, but yeah, it sounded ... like quite the occasion. 

I can’t remember all the details and haven’t spoken to SLX in years. It seems like the premise was he invited them to dinner - he is a connector type and that’s not unusual if he’s interested in understanding something. He gave them a choice to eat wherever they’d like and he’d buy. 

Roach and Holland pushed for Appleby’s while SLX was thinking a steakhouse or sushi. 

They show up and Roach starts ordering food immediately. Holland starts talking. That continued to be the theme. Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort. Holland, meanwhile, proceeds to lament the utter lack of knowledge about the game of football among the UT fanbase. He drinks like 4 shakes and never stops talking about himself, clothes, or his career aspirations as a serious novelist. He couldn’t remember SLX’s real name at the end of the meal when they depart. 

SLX tells @SydneyCarton, the “Greg Davis on 3rd and 5” graphic guy, and me about the experience and it sounded predictable yet surreal. He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach and considered EJ Holland a useless dipshit that knew almost as little as he cared in regard to the sport or UT. 

I despise Holland and used to run him over on 247 and he’d go cry to Burton and then appeal to sycophants on that board who would then bitch at me for being a meanie. I thought the guy was trash and too far in the bag for the trainers and their agendas, so I never let up. In one breakdown of one of his idiotic positions, he froze my posting ability while he proceeded to rebut me and let cronies defend him as well, without addressing any facts or merit, for like an hour. So I unsubscribed and moved on. 

Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know. 

Is there anything more EJ than spending $350 on a fucking white T-shirt but then picking Applebee’s for a dinner meeting.

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Vito Andolini

Vito Andolini 9431

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Joe Brady is apparently making a move on the inside rail for title of “Shittiest Interviewee.” 

And remember the guy who had that tag the longest? “He’s a great coach, just doesn’t interview well, if he ever got his shot, he’d be an amazing head coach!” Then we hired him, and figured out he needed Urban Meyer or Teddy Bridgewater. 

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KYHorn

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6 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Ha. 
Funny story- Elko’s kids play select baseball with my nephews up in college station. My brother is an aggy. My dad is up there watching a game and corners Elkonand is trying to chat him up (for whatever reason I don’t know- but I’m hearing the story and then I’m cringing about my dad). I think it was something along the lines of asking him if he was taking a head job somewhere else and getting the fuck out of college station or if he was gonna stick around here. And then I think he asked about a recruit we were both in on like- hey where such and such going- all while the poor bastard was trying to watch his kid play baseball. 
I think then dad proceeded to ask how much money he was getting paid in next raise or something totally gauche like that. 
Just about the time I was starting to feel sorry for poor Elko, having my dad go full on social retard on him he started telling me about Elko’s part of the conversation and mannerisms and actions during the game and my response was fuck that guy- those two morons (dad and elko) deserves to spend 2 hours together watching 11 year old baseball and generally making asses of themselves. 
now that I typed that whole story out I realize it’s probably way funnier to me than to anyone else. I’m a - got to know the characters kind of way I guess- but deleting this all on my cell phone would be too many keystrokes. 

All those keystrokes and you're not gonna tell us what Elko said or did?

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Fondren & Main

Fondren & Main 6871

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

Yeah. 

EJ Holland wrote about it, which is part of what made it even more absurd, but yeah, it sounded ... like quite the occasion. 

I can’t remember all the details and haven’t spoken to SLX in years. It seems like the premise was he invited them to dinner - he is a connector type and that’s not unusual if he’s interested in understanding something. He gave them a choice to eat wherever they’d like and he’d buy. 

Roach and Holland pushed for Appleby’s while SLX was thinking a steakhouse or sushi. 

They show up and Roach starts ordering food immediately. Holland starts talking. That continued to be the theme. Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort. Holland, meanwhile, proceeds to lament the utter lack of knowledge about the game of football among the UT fanbase. He drinks like 4 shakes and never stops talking about himself, clothes, or his career aspirations as a serious novelist. He couldn’t remember SLX’s real name at the end of the meal when they depart. 

SLX tells @SydneyCarton, the “Greg Davis on 3rd and 5” graphic guy, and me about the experience and it sounded predictable yet surreal. He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach and considered EJ Holland a useless dipshit that knew almost as little as he cared in regard to the sport or UT. 

I despise Holland and used to run him over on 247 and he’d go cry to Burton and then appeal to sycophants on that board who would then bitch at me for being a meanie. I thought the guy was trash and too far in the bag for the trainers and their agendas, so I never let up. In one breakdown of one of his idiotic positions, he froze my posting ability while he proceeded to rebut me and let cronies defend him as well, without addressing any facts or merit, for like an hour. So I unsubscribed and moved on. 

Months later he wrote his write-up of meeting me and describing me as some other worldly weirdo, I started getting texts in mockery from my asshole friends who knew the deal while I was overseas, and then the premise became a running joke on Shaggy. Shortly thereafter, EJ ran off to cover Notre Dame, immediately ran over the Texas fanbase, and hasn’t been seen since as far as I know. 

 

2F082D66-6318-4776-AA92-37338CCF020C.gif

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Wulaw Horn

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9 minutes ago, KYHorn said:

All those keystrokes and you're not gonna tell us what Elko said or did?

Like I said- the part that stuck with me was my dad bc I know him, and that hit close. Even then- I only remember the big picture of sad making an ass of himself. 
the general take away was that given the opportunity to let dad off the hook graciously, like a public figure who has to deal with nitwits all the time should do and have a lot of practice doing, he instead was as ungracious as possible. Ok, fine, play it that way. He then proceeded to spend two hours digging the 16 year old volunteer umps, yelling at his kid nonstop, and giving the coach unsolicited advice. Which- since he’s in the business you’d think he’d realize just how douchey that is.  It apparently he ha no self awareness and no social graces. 
wish I could remember all the ins and outs of the story. 

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Katfid54

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5 minutes ago, Liquor and Poker said:

I would love a separate thread on stories about the $9.95 world and how it’s changed since the days when my dad used to get a dozen or so hand-typed newsletters in the mail each summer.  The CFB fan fiction world fascinates me. 

If only there were an entire subforum on this site for these discussions.  Oh well, can't expect @immamacto have thought of everything.  Maybe after this site gets shut down and we move to the next site, we can get this added.

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maninblack

maninblack 7975

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34 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

One thing I forgot to add on the guys covering this stuff is that Jeff Howe is one of the good guys. He’s nice, he pays attention and has a good bullshit filter for what he’s being fed by recruits/street agents/he coaches, he gives a shit, he does leg work regarding watching guys and talking to folks, you name it. I will be surprised if he’s not at whatever Burton and crew are building before the end of 2021. 

I wouldn't be surprised by that either.

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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15526

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1 hour ago, GeoffE said:

@closetojumping keep the info coming. This is great morning reading for those of us who haven't been here very long.

 

I've been members of other 9.95 boards since around 2000 or 2001 but still love hearing the great tales about the various sites and their employees.

quit being a suckup.

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HornsTX231994

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10 hours ago, UncleSonny said:

I don’t specifically hate Joe Cook, maybe because he doesn’t really pretend to be a reporter. His Twitter threads of plays after games are good. 

Joe also doesn’t get involved with things that he doesn’t have sources. He’s their only guy in Austin so that’s why he ends up covering football, basketball, and baseball games. 

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Thiefery

Thiefery 5108

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1 hour ago, Daichee Bell said:

I need to go back and listen to the press conference, but FCB made a comment about already knowing Sark.  Wonder if that gave him an in. 

That was so weird.. hey u were a friend with a friend of mine..who's dead...

1 hour ago, RGBIII said:

He also ran over basically every single one of his former co workers and bosses on the way out as well. Dude has stepped on too many toes to make it far at this point. Also is a complete fucking douche

 

1 hour ago, alincoln said:

He is on the Michigan beat for Rivals now

I wouldn't be surprised if he joins OB, he was kissing up to Geoff on twitter on his way out, think he called him the godfather or something.  Once his wife finishes med school or whatever, they probably comeback.

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Orange&White

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1 hour ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Credit to the kid for outkicking his coverage. His wife is on her way to becoming a doctor, and she's attractive. 

 

1 hour ago, texifornia said:

I think the lesson is that EJ sucks at evaluating everything but marital prospects.

Of the few photos I have seen y'all post of him, if I saw him on the street and was forced to make an opinion, I would just assume he likes dudes. (NTTIAWWT). The attaractive wife was especially confusing to me.

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Irish Wrist Watch

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So Bob Stoops groomed Lincoln Riley to be his replacement, allowing a seamless transition to a new HC. That's what Alabama was doing with Sark, but we stepped right into the middle of their plans. We hired the heir apparent to the hottest program in college football. Wouldn't be too surprised to find out that Alabama and Saban offered Sark the HC job if he would stay, but he opted for the Lone Star State. It probably didn't hurt that UT had two blowout wins to end the season. Like Sark said, paraphrasing, we'll get up to speed quicker than people think.

Every kid in our program just realized that if they want to keep (or get) starting jobs until they graduate, they'd better start working on it tomorrow. Put on those track shoes boys. Back to the weight room, tomorrow.

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satyanash

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2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

Roach ran through every appetizer on the menu, some sort of steak with cheese on top and a dessert while guzzling a coke of some sort.

He was left with a dim but favorable view of Roach

fuck, I need SLX handling my next job interview.

 

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ColeTrickle

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

One thing I forgot to add on the guys covering this stuff is that Jeff Howe is one of the good guys. He’s nice, he pays attention and has a good bullshit filter for what he’s being fed by recruits/street agents/he coaches, he gives a shit, he does leg work regarding watching guys and talking to folks, you name it. I will be surprised if he’s not at whatever Burton and crew are building before the end of 2021. 

I agree, he’s great. He needs to get away from Chip Brown ASAP

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Sir Ulrich

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

One thing I forgot to add on the guys covering this stuff is that Jeff Howe is one of the good guys. He’s nice, he pays attention and has a good bullshit filter for what he’s being fed by recruits/street agents/he coaches, he gives a shit, he does leg work regarding watching guys and talking to folks, you name it. I will be surprised if he’s not at whatever Burton and crew are building before the end of 2021. 

Roach has been at the forefront of the assistant coaching search over there so looks like he's already being groomed for Howe's role. 

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Mason Ramsey

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So Bob Stoops groomed Lincoln Riley to be his replacement, allowing a seamless transition to a new HC. That's what Alabama was doing with Sark, but we stepped right into the middle of their plans. We hired the heir apparent to the hottest program in college football. Wouldn't be too surprised to find out that Alabama and Saban offered Sark the HC job if he would stay, but he opted for the Lone Star State. It probably didn't hurt that UT had two blowout wins to end the season. Like Sark said, paraphrasing, we'll get up to speed quicker than people think.
Every kid in our program just realized that if they want to keep (or get) starting jobs until they graduate, they'd better start working on it tomorrow. Put on those track shoes boys. Back to the weight room, tomorrow.

what the hell is this??? we’re clearly discussing 9.95ers and such this morning... please, take this shit somewhere else
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Fud

Fud 9697

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MSU mod

Spoiler

I have learned a few more things since our last update. Zach Arnett is represented by Thayer Evans. That name may be familiar to you. Thayer worked for years as a sports journalist before going to work as a sports agent.

As far as LSU goes, I am told that there are a couple of issues that arose in their courtship. Orgeron and Arnett don't appear to be on the same page philosophically. Orgeron wants to run a lot of multiple fronts. Zach is a little flexible with all of that, but is pretty much married to the 3-3-5. I am also told that there was some confusion about Arnett's buyout. It is around 2 million. Arnett signed a new contact that was effective December 1st. With that signed agreement came a huge increase in the buyout. There is a misconception that Zach's SEC buyout is 450K. It's more like four times that. As I have posted on this board before, there is no wiggle room with that buyout. There are no negotiations to be had. Mississippi State will not accept anything less than the full amount of that buyout. Apparently, some didn't get that memo.

I have heard enough from people that I trust that things with LSU and Zach Arnett will not move forward for multiple reasons. I am told a name to watch in the LSU DC search is New Orleans Saints defensive line coach Ryan Nielsen. Nielsen and Orgeron have coached together at both USC and Ole Miss. They are very close and see football the same way. Obviously, that would be a name that would likely make LSU fans happy. That's their issue to deal with.

So what about Texas? Based on what I am hearing, Arnett is a candidate, but not a priority candidate at this time. In many respects, that is the last spot to fill. Texas is a school that has the money to handle the buyout even in these COVID crisis times. That said, I am told by someone with knowledge of the search that the reports last week about Arnett being near the top of the Texas' wish list were premature at the very least. That's not to say that they don't eventually ramp things up with Zach, but I am told there are some other candidates with connections to Sark that will be pursued first.

State has now survived overtures from LSU, South Carolina and Oregon. To be fair, I don't believe anyone extended a formal offer to Arnett. My understanding is that once everyone got the real info on Arnett's contract and buyout that things changed. Everyone of those programs would have benefited from having Arnett on staff, but the three year deal with a hefty buyout has changed the details of their courtships. Good on Mississippi State for getting that extension done in season.

Contrary to popular belief, there are coaches who interview privately every single year. Some are looking to make a move and sometimes people are just having a conversation to feel each other out. Unfortunately for Arnett, it seems that every conservation he has had has made the papers. That's life and times in the SEC, but most of these leaks don't come from the candidates. They come from well sourced media folks and agents. Some agents think it helps their clients to have their names associated with jobs to increase their profile. Those agents don't care about recruiting or the fact that their client may have to walk back into a meeting room with players who read these reports on social media.

While it won't be final until all of the Power Five spots have been filled, at least today it looks like things are calming down. I can't say with 100% certainty that Arnett is going to be here next year, but the trend is positive. This time yesterday, it looked like we were about to have a DC search. Now it looks like Mississippi State might just hang on after all.

 

 

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Hiphopopotamos

Hiphopopotamos 21158

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I don't remember if Raheem Morris was mentioned:

Morris was the Atlanta Falcons DC and interim HC after Quinn was fired.  He was originally hired on as a WR coach/Pass game coordinator during Sark's time as OC at Atlanta.  Was the DC for Bill Snyder at Kansas St in 2006.

 

Or lets just get nuts:

Maybe we should offer NDSU head coach Matt Entz (formerly the DC 2015-2019) 1.5 million to come to the 40 acres.  His new contract at NDSU pays him 300k a year.  He could get an FBS HC job - or he could spend 3 years as Texas DC - make 5 million dollars - and then parlay that into a better FBS opportunity.

 

 

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eljinca

eljinca 279

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11 minutes ago, Irish Wrist Watch said:

So Bob Stoops groomed Lincoln Riley to be his replacement, allowing a seamless transition to a new HC. That's what Alabama was doing with Sark, but we stepped right into the middle of their plans. We hired the heir apparent to the hottest program in college football. Wouldn't be too surprised to find out that Alabama and Saban offered Sark the HC job if he would stay, but he opted for the Lone Star State. It probably didn't hurt that UT had two blowout wins to end the season. Like Sark said, paraphrasing, we'll get up to speed quicker than people think.

Every kid in our program just realized that if they want to keep (or get) starting jobs until they graduate, they'd better start working on it tomorrow. Put on those track shoes boys. Back to the weight room, tomorrow.

spacer.png

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UncleBuck

UncleBuck 6455

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Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Fud said:

So what about Texas? Based on what I am hearing, Arnett is a candidate, but not a priority candidate at this time. In many respects, that is the last spot to fill. Texas is a school that has the money to handle the buyout even in these COVID crisis times. That said, I am told by someone with knowledge of the search that the reports last week about Arnett being near the top of the Texas' wish list were premature at the very least. That's not to say that they don't eventually ramp things up with Zach, but I am told there are some other candidates with connections to Sark that will be pursued first.

You've been given all of this info on just where Arnett sits in the pecking order of potential Texas DCs, but no other names are getting mentioned? okurrr

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