Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread

[Burt Macklin 19211]

I have a hard time seeing UT admin sign off on Pruitt, but it would at least explain the delay on the DC hiring...

[Butch Had Not 3053]

Thank you everyone for the well wishes.  I appreciate all you assholes.

Story is that she had not been holding anything down for a few days. Went to urgent and they said it was covid. That was weird because she got over it in late November/early December.  Went home. What she didn't disclose to anyone was the abdominal pain until it was too much to bear and tried to get her into gyno in which they advised to get to ER. ER figured it out and advised to get to Presbyterian H ICU in Albuquerque. She was also in quite the brain fog which didn't help. 

Supposedly she is more alert now and will be staying a few days

Once again,  thanks for the kind words.

We getting tosh and Pruitt now?

[Knewk210 245]

I'm not sure if this is the correct thread to discuss the assistant coaching hires, but I was intrigued that West Virginia finished fourth in the country in Defense yards allowed per game. I looked at their defensive staff and didn't see they even had a designated DC.  I read Neal Brown divided responsibilities between front end and back end coaches. Anyone know how that works?

[ATLLonghorn 1083]

Feldman confirming what we already knew

 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

1 minute ago, Knewk210 said:

I'm not sure if this is the correct thread to discuss the assistant coaching hires, but I was intrigued that West Virginia finished fourth in the country in Defense yards allowed per game. I looked at their defensive staff and didn't see they even had a designated DC.  I read Neal Brown divided responsibilities between front end and back end coaches. Anyone know how that works?

should ask South Austin’s mom. Amirite?

[Richter 2373]

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I have a few buddies that work at/live with people who work at Bama. When Sarkisian was announced, I spoke to them for more data on some of the assistants rumored to be coming to Texas with him. One of them is Banks, the TE coach and ST coordinator. They said the dude's the balls on the coaching and recruiting end and otherwise a complete mess with an appetite for personal calamity. He moved to Bama from College Station in the middle of a divorce and left a bunch of kids behind.

Within weeks, a stripper showed up and moved in, with kids of her own, and a fucking pet monkey. While living with him, she's continued to work in and around Birmingham and Tuscaloosa as a stripper+. Her insta handle is poleassassin_, which I posted and Surly of course verified, and we've been off and running ever since. If the dude somehow winds up coming here, I'll get more of the stories about this guy and his circus, because apparently they're nuts and a source of entertainment inside the Bama regime. That's all no bullshit.

Another thing that you guys will probably find absurd/amusing and ties in to another favorite Surly sideshow: While this fucknut was at ATM, he drunk texted, allegedly including personal nudes, to 6Figs on accident instead of to one of the women he was fucking with a similar first name.

Ol'6figgy allegedly tried to hang that over this dude's head for recruiting access/info at one point, to no avail. He'd already apparently entered his own personal tumbledown with his wife and no fucks were given about what some recruiting dipshit might post or say about him, and apparently the dude's quite confident in the dick pics he sent being up to public snuff. Allegedly. That isn't from Bama folks.

hahahahahahahaha

Siri probably thought he said Pool Assassin, which was Hamm’s nickname in the pool cleaning biz, where he was the best btw.

[Kurt Bowels 213]

6 minutes ago, brown water said:

What about the known correlation about floppy boobs and large mouth vaginas?

[Sir Ulrich 5337]

1 hour ago, Machinator said:

 

So Milwee had already arrived in Austin when the plane from Tuscaloosa took off and Flood is not coming in until tomorrow. Who else could have been on that plane??

[Dijon Robinson 1511]

3 minutes ago, Knewk210 said:

I'm not sure if this is the correct thread to discuss the assistant coaching hires, but I was intrigued that West Virginia finished fourth in the country in Defense yards allowed per game. I looked at their defensive staff and didn't see they even had a designated DC.  I read Neal Brown divided responsibilities between front end and back end coaches. Anyone know how that works?

This doesn't entirely answer your question, but Brown only did that because they had to fire their DC right before the season started because he said some racist shit at a team meeting. Guess it worked out for them in the end. 

[Knewk210 245]

Just now, Dijon Robinson said:

This doesn't entirely answer your question, but Brown only did that because they had to fire their DC right before the season started because he said some racist shit at a team meeting. Guess it worked out for them in the end. 

So maybe we don' t need a DC with the correct assistant's?

[Burt Macklin 19211]

3 minutes ago, Knewk210 said:

I'm not sure if this is the correct thread to discuss the assistant coaching hires, but I was intrigued that West Virginia finished fourth in the country in Defense yards allowed per game. I looked at their defensive staff and didn't see they even had a designated DC.  I read Neal Brown divided responsibilities between front end and back end coaches. Anyone know how that works?

Patterson does something similar. The WVU defense is also somewhat inflated by the Stills brothers wreaking havoc every game. Fields was also a nice pickup for them at LB.  They also gave up 42 to ISU, 34 to Tech and didn’t have to play OU this year. 

[Happy Gilmore 1004]

2 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

So Milwee had already arrived in Austin when the plane from Tuscaloosa took off and Flood is not coming in until tomorrow. Who else could have been on that plane??

Potentially Wiggins? 

[JOSEYWALES66 1850]

3 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

So Milwee had already arrived in Austin when the plane from Tuscaloosa took off and Flood is not coming in until tomorrow. Who else could have been on that plane??

Maybe it’s just the monkey.  
 

[Burt Macklin 19211]

Just now, Knewk210 said:

So maybe we don' t need a DC with the correct assistant's?

Incorrect. 

[D3zii 3911]

9 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

I have a hard time seeing UT admin sign off on Pruitt, but it would at least explain the delay on the DC hiring...

I don’t ...#AllGasNoBreaks

 

[Nuthn2CHere 34]

1 hour ago, Nicole44 said:

Just trying to get a “feel” of what constitutes beautiful. On a scale of 1-10, (we are not talking about what she looks like now), but what is the consensus:

 

She’s beautiful. In the wild a 9.5. On the internet she’s an 8. Either way elite.

[Machinator 32102]

Burton:

Spoiler

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.

Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by Machinator

[GTX Horn 1725]

Plot twist: Sark will be calling plays on offense AND defense

[Knewk210 245]

10 minutes ago, Dijon Robinson said:

This doesn't entirely answer your question, but Brown only did that because they had to fire their DC right before the season started because he said some racist shit at a team meeting. Guess it worked out for them in the end. 

So if we could hire Jeremy Pruitt and catch him on tape saying racist shit then Sark fires him before the season begins.  Then Sark has the assistants coach the positions without a DC we finish as fourth best defense in the country.  I think you are on to something here.

[Radical Larry 28814]

Burton:
Spoiler

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.
Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

[Sir Ulrich 5337]

1 minute ago, Machinator said:

Burton:

  Hide contents

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.

Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

This and the fact that his girl made drastic changes to her social media including following Sark.. Also we have heard no other names for TE since the start

[hobbs 250]

2 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Burton:

  Hide contents

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.

Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

Uh oh...bring on the mf'ing monkey.

[Bevo 13825]

19 minutes ago, Knewk210 said:

 I read Neal Brown divided responsibilities between front end and back end coaches. Anyone know how that works?

Rumor is Huckleberry is the expert on that.

[GeoffE 37]

Time for more story telling with @closetohumping

Edited January 14, 2021 by GeoffE

[Kanly 554]

 

[closetohumping 17777]

3 minutes ago, Sir Ulrich said:

This and the fact that his girl made drastic changes to her social media including following Sark.. Also we have heard no other names for TE since the start

She has to be bored in Tuscaloosa 

[cdain3 3454]

Burton:
Spoiler

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.
Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

Somebody call the yellow rose to see if they're hiring.

[South Austin 53154]

39 minutes ago, FloridaHorn said:

My wife is type 1. It’s a shitty disease, but can be manageable with insulin, giving blowjobs, and proper diet. Best of luck to her.

Fixed for medical accuracy.  

[El Squared 1838]

2 hours ago, F250 said:

OUWade sounds like someone who owns a Jet Ski  repo mobile home w/ tires on the roof, and has a house that smells like dog broken sewer pipe. 

Fixed.

[Octavian 1025]

Wow we are going full bag... and I like it

[closetohumping 17777]

Just now, closetohumping said:

She has to be bored in Tuscaloosa 

And bill obrien may want to bring in his own guys

[Sir Ulrich 5337]

Just now, closetohumping said:

And bill obrien may want to bring in his own guys

BOB would get zero say in keeping one of the best recruiters and TE coaches in the country imo

[MrPhlegm 3413]

This is a joke right? Surly style?

nope being overweight is a prime cause of d2. i gots it. i have gone from 320 to 238 in the last year and gotten off my d meds. lose weight.

[JesusSweatDuck 18045]

Please please please let Bama hire Hand. The Brock melt down will be amaaaaazing

[Kurt Bowels 213]

5 minutes ago, cdain3 said:

13 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Burton:
Spoiler

  Reveal hidden contents

I am told that Alabama tight end coach Jeff Banks remains an option for a similar role at Texas.
Banks is considered one of the Tide’s best recruiters, and has also spent time at Texas A&M.

 

Somebody call the yellow rose to see if they're hiring.

You rang?

[Sir Ulrich 5337]

Recent tweet liked by none other than Jeff Banks

 

[Laxtonto 13013]

9 minutes ago, hobbs said:

Uh oh...bring on the mf'ing monkey.

So far all the big breasted women gifs haven’t broke surly, but I am terrified that the monkey, pole dancing and monkey spanking may gifs may all merge into some level of apocalyptic blackhole

[MrPhlegm 3413]

Fixed.

tires on the roof?

so tornado proofed.

[Getafix 29374]

Just now, Sir Ulrich said:

Recent tweet liked by none other than Jeff Banks

 

You're bringing it, Sir!

[Nicole44 22206]

2 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Please please please let Bama hire Hand. The Brock melt down will be amaaaaazing

I don't think I have ever told my Blake Brock story. Fun times. Margarita machine...a cat named Canasta...a python named Caesar and a fucked up apartment complex which led to a giant boulder being thrown into a hot tub. 

[Tex Pete 21394]

1 hour ago, NTVTXN said:

No.Way. This cannot be real. Poor woman.  Is she sick? (For real) oh my....

Hungry. She’s always hungry. 

[Octavian 1025]

@closetojumping

Any update on Wiggins?

[RollLeft 5088]

1 minute ago, Nicole44 said:

I don't think I have ever told my Blake Brock story. Fun times. Margarita machine...a cat named Canasta...a python named Caesar and a fucked up apartment complex which led to a giant boulder being thrown into a hot tub. 

Um...go on

[General Specific 3484]

And bill obrien may want to bring in his own guys

To each his own.

NTTIATWWT

[Beer Drinker 685]

1 minute ago, Nicole44 said:

I don't think I have ever told my Blake Brock story. Fun times. Margarita machine...a cat named Canasta...a python named Caesar and a fucked up apartment complex which led to a giant boulder being thrown into a hot tub. 

A cat and a python... go on.

[RollLeft 5088]

Just now, Octavian said:

@closetojumping

Any update on Wiggins?

I'm more interested on what the Bammer's think of BOB.  Good lord that is a colossal fk up if true.  

[General Specific 3484]

BOB would get zero say in keeping one of the best recruiters and TE coaches in the country imo

It’s BOB we’re talking about. Would he even know that? Doubtful!

[Harvdog 2416]

6 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

I don't think I have ever told my Blake Brock story. Fun times. Margarita machine...a cat named Canasta...a python named Caesar and a fucked up apartment complex which led to a giant boulder being thrown into a hot tub. 

Sounds Like an episode of Jerry....

 

Edited January 14, 2021 by Harvdog

[CowtownHorn 5126]

19 minutes ago, GTX Horn said:

Plot twist: Sark will be calling plays on offense AND defense

[South Austin 53154]

4 minutes ago, Nicole44 said:

I don't think I have ever told my Blake Brock story. Fun times. Margarita machine...a cat named Canasta...a python named Caesar and a fucked up apartment complex which led to a giant boulder being thrown into a hot tub. 

Worst Penthouse Forum letter ever.