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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread


closetohumping

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29 minutes ago, MoJames said:

Outside of Ash, Hutzler and Drayton being on the potential keep side, is there anyone else those who are a bit further inside the program would like to be considered retained?

Hand and Valai considered out by the board. Many are very opposed to keeping Giles. Any feel on the rest of the bunch?

Jay Boulware
Andre Coleman
Mark Hagen
Mike Yurcich
Yancy McKnight

Jay Boulware- meh hire then, meh hire now. Return game was strong but the other units were trash, especially in the early season. Also if he is the reason why Brewer was on the field so much..fucking see ya


Andre Coleman- underrated awful hire. The hiring process at WR was laughable, fucking meh nearly caused a WR revolt and this dude was already in the building but you didnt replace him mid season or even at the very start of the offseason...wtf. Emmett Jones was right there for the taking but Herman couldnt look past his own dick, per usual. Colemans recruiting has been underwhelming and his on field coaching has been trash. I have never seen a more talented receiver group create less seperation. When Iowa state 2 stars are getting more seperation while running their 4.65 40's something is wrong


Mark Hagen- Forgot he was on staff. DTs carried too much weight which is part him and part McKnight. Recruiting is meh and I never hear a word about him. Just a big ball of nothing


Mike Yurcich- Herman did him wrong, I think he has a bright future and got fucked by Herman not letting him run. Got Ewers in the fold and will do well for someone. Could see a near Harsin path for him somewhere that he is allowed to breathe. Would love to see what he could do but he is redundant with Sark and Milwee is already in to cover QBs


Yancy McKnight- players played too heavy especially at RB, TE, DT and DE. He caused a big time drop in speed. Also seems like an asshole when I have heard of multiple players wanting to fight him or literally fighting him

Fuckin SEEEEE YA!

Edited by RGBIII
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25 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Jay Boulware -remember when Charlie kept Chambers for his Texas recruiting ties here?  I think we could do better but I see the logic.
Andre Coleman-nothing against Andre, but I think we can upgrade here.
Mark Hagen- same as Andre
Mike Yurcich-I actually think Mike is a good OC but Sark is going to run the offense.
Yancy McKnight-when was the last time we had a good S and C guy?  

Yurcich got micro-managed all year outside of one or two games, so maybe he's the perfect guy for the job.

Merits side, Yancy's wagon is hitched, pad-locked and duck-taped to Herman. Given his buddy's departure, I'd be shocked if he were to stay even if we were to (stupidly) want to retain him. And if Herman ends up with a HC gig somewhere, I'd be equally shocked if he wasn't his S&C coach.

23 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

Carrington would be a good guy to keep, and I actually liked a lot of the personnel department evals, especially for jumbo athletes, but I doubt Sark will keep those guys either. 

 The Carrington thing reminds of this cycle's version of Traylor. Fine with him staying or leaving if the replacement is quality. 

4 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Jay Boulware- meh hire then, meh hire now. Return game was strong but the other units were trash, especially in the early season. Also if he is the reason why Brewer was on the field so much..fucking see ya

If he keeps his job he needs to send his future checks to Jamison.

Edited by derpyhorndog
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As has been mentioned multiple times in this thread and on this board—hiring staff is key. It will make or break Sark. Trying not to get too jacked up regarding some of the news that’s been trickling out today and yesterday. He has my support. Hoping that he has learned from his prior experience elsewhere how important the staff truly is. As others have already mentioned. My comments are nothing new. 

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2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

 

I was going to make a joke about wanting to pull Boyd Epley’s corpse from the dustbin and fire up the Nebraska livestock growth hormone injection work from the 80’s/90’s into the program. Then I looked him up and that dude is alive and just fucking retired from Nebraska last summer. Nevermind. 

Huh.  

https://omaha.com/sports/huskers/football/nebraskas-1970-champions-were-built-by-husker-power-and-a-pole-vaulter-with-a-bad/article_2c996a8a-f9bb-5717-9969-4351dd5bbfbe.html

In the mid/late 90s our football coach preached squats and power cleans as the most important lifts for football and credited early adoption of that as the reason Nebraska was ever any good.

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4 minutes ago, Hornlover said:

Freeman runs a 3-3-5 defense with smaller players. Are y'all sure you want to bring that here to Texas?

Depth Chart:
 

DE Myjai Sanders - 6'5 260

DT Curtis Brooks - 6'2 295

DE Elijah Ponder - 6'3 275

LB Darrian Beavers - 6'3 242

LB Joel Dublanko - 6'3 235

Jack - Jarell White - 5'11 205

CB - Ahmad Gardner 6'2 188

SS - Darrick Forrest 6' 200

FS - James Wiggins 6' 205

CB - Coby Bryant 6'1 198

Nickel - Arquon Bush 6' 185

 

That's good size with their Jack being a little undersized. 

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21 minutes ago, BrazilHorn said:

Boulware seemed like he sucked as he kept trotting out Brewer vs Wiley as starter. (Unless TH forced this to happen)

Coleman - meh - He kept WR sets with slow possession guys in 5 wides all the time

Hagen - DL never played to their full potential so I would be fine sacking him

Yurcich - let him go if Sark is calling plays and get someone who is better recruiter for role

McKnight - can GTFO - team was always injured and many of them seemed due to lack of flexibility - seemed like a classic meathead S&C coach

I guess I am in the "fire all these fuckers" camp overall. Drayton parked Bijan on the bench and had inexplicable RB rotations in terms of carries etc, Hand sucks ass, Valai never should have been here & Giles has been asleep for 10 years.

Let's start fresh with the best staff in America vs a bunch of shit.

Pretty sure every brain-dead personnel decision and rotated came directly from Tom Herman and a bunch of pussy coaches who couldn't or wouldn't tell him to pound sand and let them play their talented guys. 

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What makes Hutzler so special? Because of his work with Muschamp? Juwan Mitchell still plays like a coach has never spoken to him about the rules of football. The only player who showed any fundamental grasp at the position was a true freshman. Overshown still just relies on his tremendous athletic skills to make plays instead of any real linebacker skills. Am I being too harsh on my player evaluation here? 

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Just now, Newy25 said:

What makes Hutzler so special? Because of his work with Muschamp? Juwan Mitchell still plays like a coach has never spoken to him about the rules of football. The only player who showed any fundamental grasp at the position was a true freshman. Overshown still just relies on his tremendous athletic skills to make plays instead of any real linebacker skills. Am I being too harsh on my player evaluation here? 

Recruiting isn't everything, but I liked that Hutzler seems to understand the kinds of athletes we need at the position in the Big 12, and actually closed on them, despite the mess the program was in.

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25 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I don’t want to disavow anyone of their illusions, as I’m learning more each day to cherish mine, but that’s not how his name got on the list. The list that was immediately released by IT wasn’t them spitballing and was given by a source close-ish to Sark. Same dude nailed the fact that Sark was the guy and a few of us dismissed him for being a honk because of it. 

We’ll see how close that list comes to reality, but it’s different than the random names that have just been floated since then. 

You are a pretty miserable fucking storm cloud lately since all this went down.  Mind you- this is not me bitching as I (think) I appreciate the insight into what's going on- but this seems like the 3rd hire in a row that doesn't really get it if some of the shit he's thinking about is really top of mind.  I get that none of this has happened yet- but if his initial instinct is Mike Fucking Stoops then that shows he's got to be sat on at all times. If you can accomplish what you need to accomplish by sitting on him, and he's at least trainable and open to better ideas that's a clear win from the last guy, but I'd rather he got it up front than had to have it explained to him like a 5 year old. Unfortunately if your sources are correct the guy in charge of sitting on him professionally and making sure he doesn't do something stupid is also an idiot that needs to be sat on that's come up with ideas of "lets give Herm another year when all the money is lined up now" and "golly, I hope they let me hire James Fucking Franklin"


That leads me to something tangentially related that I'm a little bit serious about but obviously wouldn't ever happen in real life and that is Surly needs a voice in the operations of this AD.

Now, we all know that this site is not as good as Hornfans was circa 1998-2002 or 04 or whatever it was. That's not a knock on this site- it's just a simple acknowledgement that longhorn messagedom has splintered and fractured a metric shit ton since Agnor and Wheeler split and the proliferation of the $9.95 guys. But, there are a metric shit ton of smart people on here- that make serious money in their professions, have real responsibilities and quality work, and most importantly are not 187 fucking years old.  I don't mind the big donors that write the big checks having their thoughts taken into account, but that's a really old fucking group that has the 9 and 10 figure type money.  What I would suggest is that collectively, some of the people in their 40's and 50's doing good work but that don't quite have fuck you money yet might have something interesting to add to the process.  I nominate, of course, Vic, Derka and Spider2yBanana to be our representatives to the AD for all things sports related.  But on a serious note- the value of crowd sourced opinion of intelligent and knowlegeable people (or even not mouth breathing morons) has been shown to do better at lots of shit than expert level people acting on their own. I wish there was a way where with some formality you could factor in shit like- should we do this- and places like this could have a say in this opinion.  Because I have to tell you man- when there are an immediate 100 red flags on here about something like Watson as OC this board is almost never wrong about shit like that.  

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1 minute ago, Newy25 said:

What makes Hutzler so special? Because of his work with Muschamp? Juwan Mitchell still plays like a coach has never spoken to him about the rules of football. The only player who showed any fundamental grasp at the position was a true freshman. Overshown still just relies on his tremendous athletic skills to make plays instead of any real linebacker skills. Am I being too harsh on my player evaluation here? 

Juwan Mitchell is a stupid cancerous piece of shit who should have stopped seeing the field sometime approximately before the season started. Blaming Hutzler for rotational issues at a thing position is like blaming every other shitty positional rotations we saw under Herman. And lets not forget that Mitchell was a limited transfer of a recruit athletically. Motherfucker was a NR recruit out of HS AND his first fucking Juco. He graduated to a whopping fucking 83 after his second stint at Butler. He fucking sucks, and just because 995ers love to say "Oh, look out for this wanker" every offseason isn't any reason for you to pretend he really did have a star future. The same people were touting Jett Bush and Cort Jacquess getting real snaps as well. Which fuck, for a headcase and limited athlete like Mitchell maybe they should have. 

Hutzler is seen as a rising star in the coaching community, and yes, Muschamp speaks glowingly of the dude. He's a plus recruiter at his position, and honestly, Overshown and Ford showed plenty over the course of the season. So yeah, when everyone you ask says Hutzler is a stud we need to retain, maybe dial back some of the contrarianism. 

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3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

You are a pretty miserable fucking storm cloud lately since all this went down.  Mind you- this is not me bitching as I (think) I appreciate the insight into what's going on- but this seems like the 3rd hire in a row that doesn't really get it if some of the shit he's thinking about is really top of mind.  I get that none of this has happened yet- but if his initial instinct is Mike Fucking Stoops then that shows he's got to be sat on at all times. If you can accomplish what you need to accomplish by sitting on him, and he's at least trainable and open to better ideas that's a clear win from the last guy, but I'd rather he got it up front than had to have it explained to him like a 5 year old. Unfortunately if your sources are correct the guy in charge of sitting on him professionally and making sure he doesn't do something stupid is also an idiot that needs to be sat on that's come up with ideas of "lets give Herm another year when all the money is lined up now" and "golly, I hope they let me hire James Fucking Franklin"

 

How'd the first two hires work out?

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1 minute ago, SydneyCarton said:

Juwan Mitchell is a stupid cancerous piece of shit who should have stopped seeing the field sometime approximately before the season started. Blaming Hutzler for rotational issues at a thing position is like blaming every other shitty positional rotations we saw under Herman. And lets not forget that Mitchell was a limited transfer of a recruit athletically. Motherfucker was a NR recruit out of HS AND his first fucking Juco. He graduated to a whopping fucking 83 after his second stint at Butler. He fucking sucks, and just because 995ers love to say "Oh, look out for this wanker" every offseason isn't any reason for you to pretend he really did have a star future. The same people were touting Jett Bush and Cort Jacquess getting real snaps as well. Which fuck, for a headcase and limited athlete like Mitchell maybe they should have. 

Hutzler is seen as a rising star in the coaching community, and yes, Muschamp speaks glowingly of the dude. He's a plus recruiter at his position, and honestly, Overshown and Ford showed plenty over the course of the season. So yeah, when everyone you ask says Hutzler is a stud we need to retain, maybe dial back some of the contrarianism. 

To add on to this. Todd Orlando butt fucked the LB room so badly I thought this would be a 2-3 year turnaround based solely on his lack of recruiting but now I would say it has the most depth on the team besides the DL

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16 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

Jay Boulware- meh hire then, meh hire now. Return game was strong but the other units were trash, especially in the early season. Also if he is the reason why Brewer was on the field so much..fucking see ya


Andre Coleman- underrated awful hire. The hiring process at WR was laughable, fucking meh nearly caused a WR revolt and this dude was already in the building but you didnt replace him mid season or even at the very start of the offseason...wtf. Emmett Jones was right there for the taking but Herman couldnt look past his own dick, per usual. Colemans recruiting has been underwhelming and his on field coaching has been trash. I have never seen a more talented receiver group create less seperation. When Iowa state 2 stars are getting more seperation while running their 4.65 40's something is wrong


Mark Hagen- Forgot he was on staff. DTs carried too much weight which is part him and part McKnight. Recruiting is meh and I never hear a word about him. Just a big ball of nothing


Mike Yurcich- Herman did him wrong, I think he has a bright future and got fucked by Herman not letting him run. Got Ewers in the fold and will do well for someone. Could see a near Harsin path for him somewhere that he is allowed to breathe. Would love to see what he could do but he is redundant with Sark and Milwee is already in to cover QBs


Yancy McKnight- players played too heavy especially at RB, TE, DT and DE. He caused a big time drop in speed. Also seems like an asshole when I have heard of multiple players wanting to fight him or literally fighting him

Fuckin SEEEEE YA!

Agree 100% with this post.

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3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

You are a pretty miserable fucking storm cloud lately since all this went down.  Mind you- this is not me bitching as I (think) I appreciate the insight into what's going on- but this seems like the 3rd hire in a row that doesn't really get it if some of the shit he's thinking about is really top of mind.  I get that none of this has happened yet- but if his initial instinct is Mike Fucking Stoops then that shows he's got to be sat on at all times. If you can accomplish what you need to accomplish by sitting on him, and he's at least trainable and open to better ideas that's a clear win from the last guy, but I'd rather he got it up front than had to have it explained to him like a 5 year old. Unfortunately if your sources are correct the guy in charge of sitting on him professionally and making sure he doesn't do something stupid is also an idiot that needs to be sat on that's come up with ideas of "lets give Herm another year when all the money is lined up now" and "golly, I hope they let me hire James Fucking Franklin"


That leads me to something tangentially related that I'm a little bit serious about but obviously wouldn't ever happen in real life and that is Surly needs a voice in the operations of this AD.

Now, we all know that this site is not as good as Hornfans was circa 1998-2002 or 04 or whatever it was. That's not a knock on this site- it's just a simple acknowledgement that longhorn messagedom has splintered and fractured a metric shit ton since Agnor and Wheeler split and the proliferation of the $9.95 guys. But, there are a metric shit ton of smart people on here- that make serious money in their professions, have real responsibilities and quality work, and most importantly are not 187 fucking years old.  I don't mind the big donors that write the big checks having their thoughts taken into account, but that's a really old fucking group that has the 9 and 10 figure type money.  What I would suggest is that collectively, some of the people in their 40's and 50's doing good work but that don't quite have fuck you money yet might have something interesting to add to the process.  I nominate, of course, Vic, Derka and Spider2yBanana to be our representatives to the AD for all things sports related.  But on a serious note- the value of crowd sourced opinion of intelligent and knowlegeable people (or even not mouth breathing morons) has been shown to do better at lots of shit than expert level people acting on their own. I wish there was a way where with some formality you could factor in shit like- should we do this- and places like this could have a say in this opinion.  Because I have to tell you man- when there are an immediate 100 red flags on here about something like Watson as OC this board is almost never wrong about shit like that.  

To get one's panties in a wad over Mike fucking Stoops RUMORS is silly.  There is no fucking way to know if this came from Sark and I seriously doubt that it did as it was quashed shortly after emerging. Let's at least see the names HE ACTUALLY puts forth before we lynch the poor fucking bastard.

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Just now, RGBIII said:

Recruiting was great, Blackwell and Cooks were the best LBs in Texas. Mitchell was unplayable both skill wise and play wise last year, I mean we started Cort Jacquess in a bowl game. He made Overshown look beastly after he got through some growing pains. The growth of Gbenda and Ford quickly as well. He isn't perfect and you could talk me into an upgrade(Not named Mike fucking Stoops) but he has impressed me the most out of any coach on staff

If your hope of unleashing Lupoi on the state of Texas (aka "pure unadulterated boner fuel") requires giving Lupoi the Co-DC title, given Hutzler reportedly came here for that same title and aspiration to move up the ranks, the following quote from this article makes me think Hutzler would probably not be okay with losing the title and be gone in that scenario:

“Hate that we lost him,” Muschamp said. “But I knew a long time ago — Coleman had mentioned to me his aspirations and wanting to be a coordinator on defense and then, possibly, head coach. He felt like — and I agree with him — this is a step in the right direction for him from that standpoint, to take over a defense at some point.”

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1 minute ago, derpyhorndog said:

If your hope of unleashing Lupoi on the state of Texas (aka "pure unadulterated boner fuel") requires giving Lupoi the Co-DC title, given Hutzler reportedly came here for that same title and aspiration to move up the ranks, the following quote from this article makes me think Hutzler would probably not be okay with losing the title and be gone in that scenario:

“Hate that we lost him,” Muschamp said. “But I knew a long time ago — Coleman had mentioned to me his aspirations and wanting to be a coordinator on defense and then, possibly, head coach. He felt like — and I agree with him — this is a step in the right direction for him from that standpoint, to take over a defense at some point.”

Hiring Lupoi > Keeping Hutzler if it came down to it. Not even a close decision at all.

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I wasn't here for the staff reshuffle. I liked the Yurcich hire. I liked it a little less knowing that we could have had Harrell but for Herman's nonsense (which of course carried into his interference with the offense under Yurcich). We'll never know what he could have accomplished if left to his own devices.

Ash looked and smelled like a comfort hire at the time, but it just so happened that his schemes fit the roster he was set to inherit, so I didn't mind it. Blind squirrel, nut, etc.

I thought Andre Coleman was a good hire. I bought into the Snyder coaching tree thing, and the fact that he seemed to be well-regarded at KSU (purely as a WRs coach, not as an OC) and brought in some decent recruits, by their standards. I was wrong. I still don't know how much of the rotations were him as opposed to Herman, but he didn't light it up on the recruiting trail, and it's not as if any of our receivers suddenly blossomed into superstars.

I didn't like the Boulware hire. There was a reason OU fans were happy for us to take him off their hands. The rest of the position hires seemed plausible but not exciting. That's the way things have played out, except that Hutzler looks to be a good one.

Hand sucks. We can do better than Drayton or Giles. Looks like we're stuck with Drayton but this is a chance for us to get a real upgrade at DL coach after settling for "good enough."

TL;DR: Keep Hutzler, I can take or leave Ash, best of luck to Yurcich, throw out the rest.

Edited by Machinator
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21 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

But, there are a metric shit ton of smart people on here- that make serious money in their professions

Someone must have been impressed by Greenspoint's pay stub.

Edited by Bevo
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1 minute ago, BurntOrange&White said:

In your bolded portion, do you have any idea wtf he's talking about with that?

CTJ being a miserable storm cloud about this hire and Sark allegedly "not getting" some key things about being successful at Texas. Specifically being high on Mike Stoops. 

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3 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

How'd the first two hires work out?

reading comprehension isn't really your thing, is it.  They sucked dick.  That is my entire point- that CTJ is giving us a peak behind the curtain and that scares the shit out of me. And I appreciate (I think) the insight.  And then a bunch of tongue in cheek shit about wisdom of crowds and how this board knows more shit than the last 2 (and looks like now 3 corches we've hired. 

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2 hours ago, NTVTXN said:

I understand what you’re saying, here...However, I certainly hope that this was topic 1A that del Conte covered with Sark’s Agent,  Saban and Byrne.  If not...Lord help us...

I cannot believe that his employment by Saban was not conditioned on absolute abstention.  Same with here.

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2 minutes ago, derpyhorndog said:

If your hope of unleashing Lupoi on the state of Texas (aka "pure unadulterated boner fuel") requires giving Lupoi the Co-DC title, given Hutzler reportedly came here for that same title and aspiration to move up the ranks, the following quote from this article makes me think Hutzler would probably not be okay with losing the title and be gone in that scenario:

“Hate that we lost him,” Muschamp said. “But I knew a long time ago — Coleman had mentioned to me his aspirations and wanting to be a coordinator on defense and then, possibly, head coach. He felt like — and I agree with him — this is a step in the right direction for him from that standpoint, to take over a defense at some point.”


I’m sure that had something to do with it but didn’t he get a big raise to come here as well? 

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1 minute ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Hiring Lupoi > Keeping Hutzler if it came down to it. Not even a close decision at all.

100% agree, was just pointing out a scenario with both of them on the same staff (i.e., Hutzler losing the Co-DC tag but having other title(s)) was unlikely at best.

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3 minutes ago, derpyhorndog said:

If your hope of unleashing Lupoi on the state of Texas (aka "pure unadulterated boner fuel") requires giving Lupoi the Co-DC title, given Hutzler reportedly came here for that same title and aspiration to move up the ranks, the following quote from this article makes me think Hutzler would probably not be okay with losing the title and be gone in that scenario:

“Hate that we lost him,” Muschamp said. “But I knew a long time ago — Coleman had mentioned to me his aspirations and wanting to be a coordinator on defense and then, possibly, head coach. He felt like — and I agree with him — this is a step in the right direction for him from that standpoint, to take over a defense at some point.”

 

1 minute ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Hiring Lupoi > Keeping Hutzler if it came down to it. Not even a close decision at all.

They're not mutually exclusive, or at least they don't have to be. Hutzler signed a 2 year contract at Texas, and he hasn't been fired. We can retain him. He and Lupoi don't coach the same positions, or don't have to coach the same positions. Coleman can suck it up for a year here, decide how he likes Sark, and see how he fits in the pool to potentially move up to DC and head coach. A fast turnaround at Texas would propel those ambitions as easily as him taking over as a LB coach somewhere else with less talent. The ball here is in Texas's court. 

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I have pronounced loudly and clearly how stupid I think this hire is. The fact that it was so loud, and so clear, means I'm probably gonna have a zillion responses that I really don't want to read.

 

So, here's the only reason I'm saying something now. I really don't want anyone to misinterpret the fact that I'm ignoring their responses to my prediction that we've just hired Howard Fucking Schnellenburger. I still love you as fellow Longhorns fans, and if you turn out to be right and I turn out to be wrong, I will be as fucking happy as a fucking clam (and we all know how happy clams are when they are fucking).

I am just depressed as shit by this turn of events, which I see as worse than having left well enough fucking alone, so forgive my invective.

I will love it beyond belief if I turn out to be wrong.

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Just now, derpyhorndog said:

100% agree, was just pointing out a scenario with both of them on the same staff (i.e., Hutzler losing the Co-DC tag but having other title(s)) was unlikely at best.

You’re making this too binary. They don’t have to coach the same position and we can give both guys extra titles to justify high pay. What matters more to them is their actual role, and I don’t expect Lupoi will be given any actual input on running the defense (at least I really hope not). We can absolutely get both Lupoi and Hutzler on staff. 

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3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

reading comprehension isn't really your thing, is it.  They sucked dick.  That is my entire point- that CTJ is giving us a peak behind the curtain and that scares the shit out of me. And I appreciate (I think) the insight.  And then a bunch of tongue in cheek shit about wisdom of crowds and how this board knows more shit than the last 2 (and looks like now 3 corches we've hired. 

Yes, I got that part. But in your first sentence you seemed to be pointing a finger at him being gloomy, while then going on to grudgingly admit he might have points. It sounded like blaming the messenger while agreeing with him. So I made a comment. 

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6 minutes ago, Newy25 said:


He didn’t like recruiting very much, apparently. Not something you want said about you if you want to stay on this staff. 

Especially at TE.If Boulware is officially out, I gotta think Banks is in. Would be HUGE

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1 minute ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I have pronounced loudly and clearly how stupid I think this hire is. The fact that it was so loud, and so clear, means I'm probably gonna have a zillion responses that I really don't want to read.

 

So, here's the only reason I'm saying something now. I really don't want anyone to misinterpret the fact that I'm ignoring their responses to my prediction that we've just hired Howard Fucking Schnellenburger. I still love you as fellow Longhorns fans, and if you turn out to be right and I turn out to be wrong, I will be as fucking happy as a fucking clam (and we all know how happy clams are when they are fucking).

I am just depressed as shit by this turn of events, which I see as worse than having left well enough fucking alone, so forgive my invective.

I will love it beyond belief if I turn out to be wrong.

All caps:  COACHING STAFF thread.

 

Sincerely, The Board Police

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2 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I have pronounced loudly and clearly how stupid I think this hire is. The fact that it was so loud, and so clear, means I'm probably gonna have a zillion responses that I really don't want to read.

 

So, here's the only reason I'm saying something now. I really don't want anyone to misinterpret the fact that I'm ignoring their responses to my prediction that we've just hired Howard Fucking Schnellenburger. I still love you as fellow Longhorns fans, and if you turn out to be right and I turn out to be wrong, I will be as fucking happy as a fucking clam (and we all know how happy clams are when they are fucking).

I am just depressed as shit by this turn of events, which I see as worse than having left well enough fucking alone, so forgive my invective.

I will love it beyond belief if I turn out to be wrong.

Well, I've bandied about keeping herman in my head. But after the news players were negatively recruiting transfers and other prospects, on top of the fact recruiting for 2022 had already died, he absolutely had to go. There was no standing pat even if the hire was James fucking Franklin. Because then you're in a 3-4 year talent hole. Sorry man, standing pat wasn't an option. 

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2 minutes ago, Tex-19 said:

This seems like a stretch but regardless of those two, we should be backing up the truck for Raymond. Give him an extra title and bump him from his current $600k to $1mm.

That would be amazing if Stingley transferred. We did finish 2nd in his recruitment. Pretty improbable but would be cool.

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1 minute ago, RGBIII said:

Especially at TE.If Boulware is officially out, I gotta think Banks is in. Would be HUGE

Per 247, Banks was the primary recruiter on practically every recruit Bama pulled from the state of Texas over the last few years. Would be a slam dunk, just not sure what it would take to lure him away from Bama.

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1 hour ago, Bevo said:

Convince me on Freeman. His work at Cincy was great this year. However, his resume is thin. To me, it is kind of an unknown how well he will do adjusting to the different offenses he will face in and out of conference. With Ash, you know what you are getting. With Freeman, it could just be flavor-of-the-month.

His wife is smoke.  It matters.

 

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4 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

Yes, I got that part. But in your first sentence you seemed to be pointing a finger at him being gloomy, while then going on to grudgingly admit he might have points. It sounded like blaming the messenger while agreeing with him. So I made a comment. 

So you don't have to type this again in the future:

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8 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

You’re making this too binary. They don’t have to coach the same position and we can give both guys extra titles to justify high pay. What matters more to them is their actual role, and I don’t expect Lupoi will be given any actual input on running the defense (at least I really hope not). We can absolutely get both Lupoi and Hutzler on staff. 

Fair point and perhaps I was being too binary. Let me FCB walk that shit back and reestablish my stance as both could be accommodated in the same staff, but would require some needle-threading and some coaches can be title-whores and place a lot of pride/value on titles and optics despite what really matters (as you mention, actual role). 

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Has there been any news on Sark's salary? I'm guessing ~$6mm which would leave extra cash for staff budget compared to someone like UM or BK. I hope part of the deal was a dumptruck to go poach people.

Also, if we really do pull 2 or 3 laterals from Bama, I think that's a great sign on Sark. Those guys wouldn't leave their highly successful current jobs if they didn't have a lot of confidence in Sark, and they know better than any of us given their inside info.

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