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Texas Recruiting Notes 2024: Bags Don't Beat Bankrolls

texifornia

By texifornia
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RGBIII
RGBIII

Finally can tell my aggy story.    Have a good insight into this kids recruitment and I’m still laughing about his visit to aggy. Dude gets his player host (I’ll let y’all find who that is) and

closetojumping
closetojumping

How do you think this is helpful? Not being a jerk, just asking y'all to keep your shit together and use common sense. In any event, I know for a fact that nothing ever happens with Texas until a

closetojumping
closetojumping

He could have if he isn't. Play devil's advocate and tell us why you feel about this guy's overall approach to his recruitment and how that either translates to the next level or doesn't matter.

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closetojumping

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10 minutes ago, Creasy Bear said:

NIL Opportunity

Kendall Jackson Chardonnay | Total Wine & More

 

When I waited tables at the Outback in the Arboretum during college, Kendall-Jackson sold like fucking hotcakes for middle aged women in that area at the time. You'd think they were ordering a bottle of Dom with the way they ordered in excited tones and acted giddy when it was presented. I haven't thought of that stuff in 20 years. I bet it still sells for under $20 at a grocery store. 

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Teamdirtyleg

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3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

When I waited tables at the Outback in the Arboretum during college, Kendall-Jackson sold like fucking hotcakes for middle aged women in that area at the time. You'd think they were ordering a bottle of Dom with the way they ordered in excited tones and acted giddy when it was presented. I haven't thought of that stuff in 20 years. I bet it still sells for under $20 at a grocery store. 

Same.  Macaroni Grill circa late 90's.  To be fair, it was high falutin in comparison to the honor system table wine

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49534

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6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

When I waited tables at the Outback in the Arboretum during college, Kendall-Jackson sold like fucking hotcakes for middle aged women in that area at the time. You'd think they were ordering a bottle of Dom with the way they ordered in excited tones and acted giddy when it was presented. I haven't thought of that stuff in 20 years. I bet it still sells for under $20 at a grocery store. 

Fuck, I think it still sells for under $20 at a gas station. 

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Orange&White

Orange&White 5573

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I worked at a place in Georgetown 20+ years ago and "KJ" was the absolute best seller on the menu for the Sun City crowd and the up and coming Georgetown yuppies.

One day we were out of KJ and some 35-40ish year old Karen asked my buddy who was waiting on her if he had any Kendall Jackson Chardonnay.

He said , "No ma'am we don't"

Her response was an indignant "Do you even know what KENDALL JACKSON is?"

He said, "Yes ma'am. It's an overpriced, mediocre California chardonnay. We normally have it just for ladies like you, but today we are just out of stock".

She called the manager over and demanded a new waiter and that he be fired. She got a new waiter but he wasn't fired.

 

 

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Bevo14

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29 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

When I waited tables at the Outback in the Arboretum during college, Kendall-Jackson sold like fucking hotcakes for middle aged women in that area at the time. You'd think they were ordering a bottle of Dom with the way they ordered in excited tones and acted giddy when it was presented. I haven't thought of that stuff in 20 years. I bet it still sells for under $20 at a grocery store. 

 

9 minutes ago, Orange&White said:

I worked at a place in Georgetown 20+ years ago and "KJ" was the absolute best seller on the menu for the Sun City crowd and the up and coming Georgetown yuppies.

One day we were out of KJ and some 35-40ish year old Karen asked my buddy who was waiting on her if he had any Kendall Jackson Chardonnay.

He said , "No ma'am we don't"

Her response was an indignant "Do you even know what KENDALL JACKSON is?"

He said, "Yes ma'am. It's an overpriced, mediocre California chardonnay. We normally have it just for ladies like you, but today we are just out of stock".

She called the manager over and demanded a new waiter and that he be fired. She got a new waiter but he wasn't fired.

 

 

so...what you guys are saying is that Kendall Jackson gets a lot of milf action

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closetojumping

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21 minutes ago, Bevo14 said:

 

so...what you guys are saying is that Kendall Jackson gets a lot of milf action

That shit was Puma Punch, no doubt. I'm sure there's some 2023 version of it right now being presented at tables inside various mediocre chains in Katy, Plano, and around Lake Travis, right this very moment. Go hit up the bar area of said type of restaurant this evening, order up a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc or a bubbly rose' and you can snag yourself a neurotic, mildly chunkie, fakied, heavily perfumed mistake for a ride for the night. Good luck. We're all counting on you.

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Orange&White

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4 minutes ago, Red Five said:

It was a funny Mackovic story. He was asked what his favorite red wine was. Answer: Kendall Jackson. And white wine? Also Kendall Jackson.

This hits close to home because I actually served John Mackovic a glass of Kendall Jackson Chardonnay at the same Georgetown restaurant mentioned above.

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JesusSweatDuck

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56 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

That shit was Puma Punch, no doubt. I'm sure there's some 2023 version of it right now being presented at tables inside various mediocre chains in Katy, Plano, and around Lake Travis, right this very moment. Go hit up the bar area of said type of restaurant this evening, order up a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc or a bubbly rose' and you can snag yourself a neurotic, mildly chunkie, fakied, heavily perfumed mistake for a ride for the night. Good luck. We're all counting on you.

I'm a bit younger than you, but it was the Merlot at the time. Then the movie Sideways came out and merlot consumption fell off a cliff

Bubble Gum GIF by Sideways - The Play

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HenryJames

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59 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Go hit up the bar area of said type of restaurant this evening, order up a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc or a bubbly rose' and you can snag yourself a neurotic, mildly chunkie, fakied, heavily perfumed mistake for a ride for the night.

Mark-cuban GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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JerryHubbard

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1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

 Go hit up the bar area of said type of restaurant this evening, order up a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc or a bubbly rose' and you can snag yourself a neurotic, mildly chunkie, fakied, heavily perfumed mistake for a ride for the night. 

You say this as if it is a bad thing...

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Bevo

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9 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

Cool River was the cover band gig capital of the world, the best of which was Twyx. Fat CP dads screaming Renegade is a better time than it sounds. 

Never went there - Was it like Sam's Boat House in Houston in the late 80s, early 90s?

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12 hours ago, closetojumping said:

That shit was Puma Punch, no doubt. I'm sure there's some 2023 version of it right now being presented at tables inside various mediocre chains in Katy, Plano, and around Lake Travis, right this very moment. Go hit up the bar area of said type of restaurant this evening, order up a bottle of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc or a bubbly rose' and you can snag yourself a neurotic, mildly chunkie, fakied, heavily perfumed mistake for a ride for the night. Good luck. We're all counting on you.

I think you are underselling the neurotic part. I assume in your business that stereotype is a large source of profits but an even larger part of PIA customers.

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Orange&White

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13 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

RIP Cool River. You'll always hold a special spot in my heart

Oh man. We went to this place damn near every day. Either at the bar or in the cigar room. I have way too many stories to tell about customers and staff. My buddy took a few of the bartenders on a trip to Vegas.

One weekday afternoon at like 2ish, we were there and the two brothers (can't remember the name off the top of my head) that owned all of the car dealerships in Round Rock had just sold all of them to Penske Automotive for a pretty substantial sum of money.

They were drinking Macallan 50 year old scotch, which at the time was $450 a drink. So for each round, one of them pulled out their wallet and counted out ten $100 bills and slid it over to the cute girl working the bar. I think they had four rounds before they left.

Was there another day, it was a Friday at lunch time. The whole banquet room was set up with full lunch; silverware, plates, napkins iced tea, etc. They brought in this huge group of Dell employees on the premise of a team lunch. Once they were all seated they fired everyone in the room and gave them appointment times of when they could go back to the office and pick up their shit. Talk about a look of shock on their faces as they walked out. We knew it was going to happen because the staff told us that it was weird that they paid to have the whole room set up for food but they weren't buying any food and only needed the room for less than an hour.

So many characters in that place in the mid afternoons/early evening. Bob the crazy middle eastern dude that owned convenience stores. John the old Cowboy that got rich selling makeup in his younger days. A whole slew of young startup tech dudes.

OK...that was my last derail post. Back to recruiting.

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closetojumping

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3 hours ago, Bevo said:

I think you are underselling the neurotic part. I assume in your business that stereotype is a large source of profits but an even larger part of PIA customers.

Well, I am not in the wine or spirits business, but I assume you’re right. I do believe if Texas were to sign this recruit named Kendall Jackson, some fun would be had on here with the fucking cheese puns, right up until Kirk Bohls or Chip Brown started doing something with it. 

4 minutes ago, Davis Lane said:

SydneyCarton is black?

Just his heart and his teeth. 

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Bevo

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9 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Well, I am not in the wine or spirits business, but I assume you’re right. I do believe if Texas were to sign this recruit named Kendall Jackson, some fun would be had on here with the fucking cheese puns, right up until Kirk Bohls or Chip Brown started doing something with it. 

I thought you owned some health spas - I would think that 30-50yr old neurotic, divorcees with a penchant for craptastic, trendy wines would be your companies' lifeblood.

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24 minutes ago, Bevo said:

I thought you owned some health spas - I would think that 30-50yr old neurotic, divorcees with a penchant for craptastic, trendy wines would be your companies' lifeblood.

Got it. Didn’t think about it in that way. I’m sure you’re right, but I’m not involved with the day to day. Also a thing at day spas these days, apparently? Vaginal steaming. Pretty decent niche in the numbers. 

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Bevo

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8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Got it. Didn’t think about it in that way. I’m sure you’re right, but I’m not involved with the day to day. Also a thing at day spas these days, apparently? Vaginal steaming. Pretty decent niche in the numbers. 

I had a patient who looked a little like T'Vondre Sweat swear to its greatness. She had a friend who had a setup at her house. I was like, "Ya don't say". I mean really how do you respond to a 400lb woman describing the event like the opening of a flower?

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SydneyCarton

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6 minutes ago, Bevo said:

I had a patient who looked a little like T'Vondre Sweat swear to its greatness. She had a friend who had a setup at her house. I was like, "Ya don't say". I mean really how do you respond to a 400lb woman describing the event like the opening of a flower?

I'll field this one:

Best Vomiting GIFs | Gfycat

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