Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

Sounds like someone's having a case of the Mondays. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,439]

7 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Sounds like someone's having a case of the Mondays no Fundays. 

Fixed.

[luke duke 6,445]

Yep. I keep it in my truck and use it. But the lack of awareness of people is something. And it’s usually some immigrant from Pakistan who wipes his ass with his hand dragging his filth all over the top of my tall boy. 

I figured that your Natty I’ve would kill any 3rd world herpes that he could infect your can with.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

3 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 

I figured that your Natty I’ve would kill any 3rd world herpes that he could infect your can with.

 

Please... nothing but the finest disinfectants allowed for Surly Horns.

[Steamboat1874 4,282]

20 hours ago, Stella Link said:

When I'm in a hurry as I'm walking in the grocery store with a cart, and an old lady with her cart in front of me just stops in the middle of the entrance door, and there's no room to go around her....so you have to wait while other people with carts also trying to get in the store stack up behind you.

 

What is worse are the idiots that park their basket on one side of the aisle and then stand on the other side looking for something which blocks the whole fucking aisle.

Look on the same side where you park your basket dumbass. 

[Stella Link 535]

2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Please... nothing but the finest disinfectants allowed for Surly Horns.

So, do you drink it, use it as cologne, or polish furniture with it?  

[TornACL 7,791]

Let's say you're trying to book a hotel on your hotel brand's booking app.

You start to type in A-U-S for Austin, TX. There Austin, TX pops up. You move your finger to click on Austin, and the millisecond before you touch finger to screen, the list updates with a bazillion more entries and now it's too late to stop and you've clicked on Allentown, PA.

God damnit this annoys the shit out of me.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

1 hour ago, Stella Link said:

So, do you drink it, use it as cologne, or polish furniture with it?  

It's a floor wax AND a desert topping.

[PvilleStang 2,974]

Having to look at @Stella Link's avatar when he posts.  Nothing against him / her, but fuck that thing's ugly.

[Pancho 46,054]

Not sure why but people who have their windshield wipers on high when it’s only misting or light sprinkles makes me ragey 

[RPM 26,560]

Maybe they're trying to clear the dead bug smear.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Pancho Negro said:

Not sure why but people who have their windshield wipers on high when it’s only misting or light sprinkles makes me ragey 

Why might the speed at which a man spreads his goo matter to you, sir?

[Scheiss Meister 8,449]

5:20, cars are stacked two deep waiting to get gas, and a half-wit woman picks that time to get her half-wit five year-old son out of his car seat, show him how to get the wallet out of her purse (surprise! neither one can find it right off), get the credit card out of her wallet, drop the credit card three times, put the card in the slot upside down, try again, get it right side up the third try, select the grade of gas, and not spray gas everywhere before you put the nozzle in the fucking tank.  On the third try.  Because she has to be patient with the little spawn so that he can learn a skill that he won't use for another 10 or 12 years.  Dumb bitch.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

What if he has terminal cancer and learning to use the gas pump was his dying wish, you heartless baboon faced bastard?

[Scheiss Meister 8,449]

Then fuck his little cancerous ass.  Learn that shit when there aren't two dozen cars and trucks trying get gas.

PS.  Fuck cancer in the goat ass.

Edited April 24, 2018 by Scheiss Meister

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

... and this is how I know you secretly don't think it's trivial.  

[GSU&UT 1,799]

When I'm in a hurry as I'm walking in the grocery store with a cart, and an old lady with her cart in front of me just stops in the middle of the entrance door, and there's no room to go around her....so you have to wait while other people with carts also trying to get in the store stack up behind you.
 

People in grocery stores are the worst, especially as someone who worked in one as a teen for a few years. There were some food threads on Shaggy about proper grocery store behavior.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,963]

When I’m buying a drink at the convenience store and the grubby clerk who maybe washes his hands once a month hand molests the entire top of the drink while scanning and bagging it.  

Great...just like the hotel tv remote,now I'm a paranoid

[Longboard Horn 41,319]

People who use the word bae to describe their significant other.

[TornACL 7,791]

13 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

5:20, cars are stacked two deep waiting to get gas, and a half-wit woman picks that time to get her half-wit five year-old son out of his car seat, show him how to get the wallet out of her purse (surprise! neither one can find it right off), get the credit card out of her wallet, drop the credit card three times, put the card in the slot upside down, try again, get it right side up the third try, select the grade of gas, and not spray gas everywhere before you put the nozzle in the fucking tank.  On the third try.  Because she has to be patient with the little spawn so that he can learn a skill that he won't use for another 10 or 12 years.  Dumb bitch.

I don't seek out confrontations, but I will do so in these cases. Some people are so dense and self-absorbed that they need to be told that this behavior is unacceptable. I was running late for a flight and had to run into a Target to pick something up before heading to the airport. I went to the express checkout (before they had  self-check) and a mommy pulled this routine with her kid. The worst part was, the only reason the mom let her kid try to use the debit card machine was because the little brat screamed "I WANNA DO IT" and then it was drop everything and let Lil Timmy Dipshit push all the buttons.

After the second failed attempt I called her out, and she said something to me about what an awful human I was...the checkout girl took my side and very gently reminded her that "people are waiting, and this IS the express lane". I'm sure I'll get the last laugh on that one when Timmy is in prison.

[You don't know me 1,163]

16 hours ago, Pancho Negro said:

Not sure why but people who have their windshield wipers on high when it’s only misting or light sprinkles makes me ragey 

On that same note, when it's raining just enough to need the wipers, but not enough to get a good clean windshield after each swipe of the blades.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,241]

I don't seek out confrontations, but I will do so in these cases. Some people are so dense and self-absorbed that they need to be told that this behavior is unacceptable. I was running late for a flight and had to run into a Target to pick something up before heading to the airport. I went to the express checkout (before they had  self-check) and a mommy pulled this routine with her kid. The worst part was, the only reason the mom let her kid try to use the debit card machine was because the little brat screamed "I WANNA DO IT" and then it was drop everything and let Lil Timmy Dipshit push all the buttons.
After the second failed attempt I called her out, and she said something to me about what an awful human I was...the checkout girl took my side and very gently reminded her that "people are waiting, and this IS the express lane". I'm sure I'll get the last laugh on that one when Timmy is in prison.

So it’s some random woman’s fault that you didn’t leave early enough for the airport and didn’t plan ahead by having everything you needed ready to go? Try being better prepared and you life will be much less stressful and chances are you won’t murder a random stranger in a fit of rage.

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

2 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

 

So it’s some random woman’s fault that you didn’t leave early enough for the airport and didn’t plan ahead by having everything you needed ready to go? Try being better prepared and you life will be much less stressful and chances are you won’t murder a random stranger in a fit of rage.

 

That woman would have been in the wrong even if he had twelve hours to spare. 

[You don't know me 1,163]

Last night I went straight from work to my son's track meet.  There wasn't a whole lot of parking, but there were some parallel spots (marked spots) available.  Slightly up the road in front of me there were 3 open parallel spots right in a row.  Guy in front of me is driving a dually and parks in the middle one.  Ends up consuming parts of the spot in front and back of him.  Then gets out and sprints to the meet.  Made me a little surly.

[PvilleStang 2,974]

Sitting at Discount Tire yesterday, a family walks in.  Kid sits down with a cell phone playing some video game on full fucking blast, to where the entire waiting area can hear it.  Parents get the tire situation squared away, plop down to wait like the rest of us.  Game fucking blares away for another 30 minutes or so, parents don't say a thing.  And kid was like 8-10 years old, not like they're keeping their 2 year old from having a breakdown.  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,963]

Smallest scrapes on the top of my hand equals to 2 gallons of blood lost.. wtf

[elfenix 34,658]

Last night I went straight from work to my son's track meet.  There wasn't a whole lot of parking, but there were some parallel spots (marked spots) available.  Slightly up the road in front of me there were 3 open parallel spots right in a row.  Guy in front of me is driving a dually and parks in the middle one.  Ends up consuming parts of the spot in front and back of him.  Then gets out and sprints to the meet.  Made me a little surly.

We have a thread for that

[You don't know me 1,163]

19 minutes ago, elfenix said:

1 hour ago, You don said:

Last night I went straight from work to my son's track meet.  There wasn't a whole lot of parking, but there were some parallel spots (marked spots) available.  Slightly up the road in front of me there were 3 open parallel spots right in a row.  Guy in front of me is driving a dually and parks in the middle one.  Ends up consuming parts of the spot in front and back of him.  Then gets out and sprints to the meet.  Made me a little surly.

We have a thread for that

Didn't take a pic and it did make me surly.

[Player 4,605]

The yellow pages. Why is it still a thing?

I don’t want that thing left on my doorstep.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

6 minutes ago, Player said:

The yellow pages. Why is it still a thing?

I don’t want that thing left on my doorstep.

It makes really good tinder for campfires.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, GSU&UT said:

On 4/22/2018 at 3:57 PM, Stella Link said:

When I'm in a hurry as I'm walking in the grocery store with a cart, and an old lady with her cart in front of me just stops in the middle of the entrance door, and there's no room to go around her....so you have to wait while other people with carts also trying to get in the store stack up behind you.
 

People in grocery stores are the worst, especially as someone who worked in one as a teen for a few years. There were some food threads on Shaggy about proper grocery store behavior.

nah, people getting off a plane/ bus/ or elevator.

 

"Where the fuck would you like us all to go while you figure out what fucking planet you're on?"

[TornACL 7,791]

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

 

 

So it’s some random woman’s fault that you didn’t leave early enough for the airport and didn’t plan ahead by having everything you needed ready to go? Try being better prepared and you life will be much less stressful and chances are you won’t murder a random stranger in a fit of rage.

 

I didn't miss my flight, cheesedick.

[markstanco 12,773]

Amazons recently changed shipping policy for prime members.

 

Before if I ordered something on prime on a Saturday and it shipped from the Dallas DC, I would get it on Tuesday and even a few times on Monday!

 

Now they wait until Tuesday to ship for a Wednesday arrival.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[PilotsError 2,342]

The absolute shit quality of Harry's razors.  

[deadshank 24,654]

Try this brand next time

58 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

The absolute shit quality of Harry's razors.  

Try this brand next time.

[mr. sunshine 2,852]

On ‎4‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 7:16 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

5:20, cars are stacked two deep waiting to get gas

So you drove to 1976?

[Antidean 200]

23 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Smallest scrapes on the top of my hand equals to 2 gallons of blood lost.. wtf

I have noticed this as well.

[kevwun 16,269]

If you just barely nick one of the veins on the top of your hand, you will bleed like a stuck pig.  I barely scratched the top of my hand once when I was a kid on a broken window.  I had blood streaming down my fingers before I knew what happened.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,259]

When the Kleenex "autoreplace" sequence comes unthreaded so you have to reach into the box to scratch and mangle the top of the stack in order to jump start the process, which then takes a few cycles to get back into the normal rhythm. 

[elfenix 34,658]

8 minutes ago, kevwun said:

If you just barely nick one of the veins on the top of your hand, you will bleed like a stuck pig.  I barely scratched the top of my hand once when I was a kid on a broken window.  I had blood streaming down my fingers before I knew what happened.

wrestling takes advantage of this - small cut on the forehead and blood is everywhere.  just have to hide a small blade somewhere. 

[tfoolry 8,341]

Any executive memo that ends with “thanks for all you do”. 

These memos usually involve additional work, cuts or unpopular new policy. 

 

[BurntOrangeCrush 1,028]

Yesterday, I'm at a convenience store. I am last in line with 5 people ahead of me. I guess the other cashier was outside or on a break. It's taking forever. Finally, I am on deck, and the clerk tells the lady in front of me, "your total is $2.17". 

The lady then proceeds to dig through her person and open up a checkbook and begins writing the check. For freaking $2.00! I didn't know anyone wrote checks anymore. Then she can't find her license. At that point I told her that I would pay her total if she would move out of the way and she mumbled something at me and continued digging thru the purse.

You can't start the check writing process at some point while we are standing in line for 10 minutes? Also there is a cool new thing they offer now called a debit card.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,856]

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

When the Kleenex "autoreplace" sequence comes unthreaded so you have to reach into the box to scratch and mangle the top of the stack in order to jump start the process, which then takes a few cycles to get back into the normal rhythm. 

When you take a crap in the dark so you won't wake the wife, and you can't find the starting point on a new roll of toilet paper.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,259]

13 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

When you take a crap in the dark so you won't wake the wife, and you can't find the starting point on a new roll of toilet paper.

You should tell your wife to stop sleeping in the bathroom! 

[Landomatic 3,813]

When someone openly admits they’ve done something wrong, but bitches about the consequences because it wasn’t THAT wrong.

i. e. - Okay I parked in fire lane that said no parking but that’s bullshit I got a ticket...I wasn’t even inside that long.

How about don’t fucking ignore the law and you won’t have to worry about it you entitled little cunt.

[High Plains Drifter 11,160]

On 4/22/2018 at 3:57 PM, Stella Link said:

When I'm in a hurry as I'm walking in the grocery store with a cart, and an old lady with her cart in front of me just stops in the middle of the entrance door, and there's no room to go around her....so you have to wait while other people with carts also trying to get in the store stack up behind you.

 

Lets go big:

When any old stops in the middle of a doorway when entering a room or a building, causing traffic to back up behind them.

Wtf old man, you are just entering a grocery store, not walking point through the jungles of Nam.

[Landomatic 3,813]

2 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Lets go big:

When any old stops in the middle of a doorway when entering a room or a building, causing traffic to back up behind them.

Wtf old man, you are just entering a grocery store, not walking point through the jungles of Nam.

I give the olds a pass...they're old.  The asian woman does the same thing and I'm WTF'ing the hell out of her.  #noracist and #nosexist

[DougO 5,261]

It's not an olds things. It's just self-centered people who refuse to be aware of anything not in between their own pee-hole and asshole. I'm old and I don't stop in doorways. But I am frequently blocked from entrances by dipshits both young and old.

The other day I was in my car trying to leave the bank parking lot and some young blond bimbo was parked in the drive lane behind me just sitting there shuffling through papers and crap to get ready to go through the drive through, where there were three open lanes just waiting for a car to pull into them. But she would rather sit there and block the entire parking lot for about five minutes.

I could have honked, but then polarity would be reversed and she would claim I was the dickhole.

Edited April 25, 2018 by DougO

[WhatTheBuck 28,904]

5 minutes ago, DougO said:

I could have honked, but then polarity would be reversed and she would claimed I was the dickhole.

So?

[RPM 26,560]

When you order a pizza and it shows up cut into little squares.