Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[lateshow 1303]

On 4/1/2019 at 2:02 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

Trivial thing that annoys me: when a TV series can't just have a gay character but has to have a GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY character. E.g., the lesbian photographer in Man In The High Castle, e.g., "Hi, I'm the photographer, let me just get my camera OH MY GOD WHO IS THAT ATTRACTIVE WOMAN I'D LIKE TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH HER BECAUSE I'M A BIG OL LESBIAN!"

Very subtle. Very true to the story environment, too-- the American Nazi Reich is anti-homosexual but this lesbian photographer can't get a sentence out of her mouth before she turns into a leering construction worker upon seeing a mildly attractive woman. Kind of undermines the dramatic tension of A Forbidden Love Affair when one of the character acts like Rodney Dangerfield looking at Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers. 

Counter point: Helen from AP Bio

[Fudge Nuggets 19097]

On 4/1/2019 at 3:08 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

I, too, am a huge Cricket fan. (EXPLODES)

Sachin Tendulkar couldn't hold Viv Richards' jock.  War will ensue.

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

58 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

dudes who claim that attractive women they disagree with politically are "ugly" (meaning specifically their looks)

Dudes commenting on the attractiveness of women generally when they are not in the context of any sort of profession where attractiveness matters a damn. I mean, seriously, who gives a fuck that politician x, y, or z looks like hammered dog shit, whether male or female? Do they do their fucking jobs, or not? "Is she attractive?" is only a relevant question regarding a celebrity if she's an entertainer being paid to be attractive.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

4 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Dudes commenting on the attractiveness of women generally when they are not in the context of any sort of profession where attractiveness matters a damn.

That doesn't bother me in the slightest. We're men. It's what we notice. There is a time and place for discussing it, or more pertinently, most times and places aren't for discussing it.

It matters only as soon as it crosses from thought to action, i.e., "I think I'll give Susan a bigger raise than Millicent because Susan has bigger tits" or "I think I'll smell Jessica's hair and rub her shoulders at today's staff meeting". 

[PilotsError 2272]

Those are wrong?

[Jersey Man10 3500]

Womens shoes when they walk down a hallway and its loud as fuck. Sounds like a fucking horse trotting.

[Guest Lobo]

On 4/1/2019 at 7:54 PM, elfenix said:

get ready for more of that with mcdonalds' AI menu system

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

1 minute ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

Every hand you shake has, at some point, had a dick in it.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

31 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Dudes commenting on the attractiveness of women generally when they are not in the context of any sort of profession where attractiveness matters a damn. I mean, seriously, who gives a fuck that politician x, y, or z looks like hammered dog shit, whether male or female? Do they do their fucking jobs, or not? "Is she attractive?" is only a relevant question regarding a celebrity if she's an entertainer being paid to be attractive.

Seriously all that really matters is does she give head and like anal....

[elfenix 34157]

8 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

think about how often you use your phone in the shitter, and how rarely you clean it.

[Underdog 28372]

35 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Every hand you shake has, at some point, had a dick in it.

Go on...

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Every hand you shake has, at some point, had a dick in it.

you need to meet more lesbians

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

Just now, SwanderedTalent said:

you need to meet more lesbians

You ever see how lesbians treat their horses? I stand by my statement.

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

think about how often you use your phone in the shitter, and how rarely you clean it.

Fair point.  But don’t take phone into shitter and I sanitize it every 48hrs.  We have a 5 day old baby at home and a toddler, I don’t risk that shit.  Plus the phone goes into a drawer when I get home.  Having that said, I have ejaculated into about every wash cloth in the Starwood/Marriott empire.  So don’t use one when traveling.  

You can’t avoid germs and a moderate amount are actually good for you.  What you can do though is try hard to not bring  home illness from traveling and don’t go to so much trouble to get my jizz on you.  My favorite thing to do after beating off in the hotel room is grab the remote and put on something funny to distract from my shame.  And so much of my snot is around the bed and nightstand in hotels. Just gobs  of phlegm. 

Edited April 3, 2019 by Lobo

[Buffsoldier 1895]

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

You are a filthy motherfucker that gets around too much then.

[SHOOTER12 8775]

2 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

Womens shoes when they walk down a hallway and its loud as fuck. Sounds like a fucking whore trotting.

So...what's wrong with that again?

Edited April 3, 2019 by SHOOTER12

[Js1 84939]

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Every hand you shake has, at some point, had a dick in it.

I do love to shake hands

['stache 21726]

The clickbait article that makes its rounds every few years about how everything has measurable amounts of fecal matter on it makes me surly. It starts "your toothbrush has shit on it" then "everything in your house has shit on it." Of course there are a billion other compounds that can be identified on any surface using today's technology. I'm not living my life worried about a microscopic speck of shit on everything. I wash my hands after I shit and use sanitizer often, mostly to avoid catching colds or other common sicknesses, but not because of that stupid article and worries of shit on everything.

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

7 minutes ago, 'stache said:

The clickbait article that makes its rounds every few years about how everything has measurable amounts of fecal matter on it makes me surly. It starts "your toothbrush has shit on it" then "everything in your house has shit on it." Of course there are a billion other compounds that can be identified on any surface using today's technology. I'm not living my life worried about a microscopic speck of shit on everything. I wash my hands after I shit and use sanitizer often, mostly to avoid catching colds or other common sicknesses, but not because of that stupid article and worries of shit on everything.

I love the bit I saw once on how many molecules you take in with every breath that once were a part of Aristotle. That one always got a dialectical chuckle out of me.

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

[markstanco 12461]

New phone. Hate getting a new phone or laptop.

I have spent my entire evening sorting and arranging apps on my new phone. I would rather get kicked in the balls.

Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

[Sam Lin 3539]

If you use a third party launcher like Nova, and restore your apps from the cloud, Android actually makes it fairly painless to migrate to new phones. Android can match (most of, unless compatibility issue with a specific app) the same installed apps from another device on your same Google account, and via the launcher's own backup, your UI settings and icon arrangements can be restored to a new device.

[DigglerontheHoof 20947]

16 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

You ever see how lesbians treat their horses? I stand by my statement.

Wut?  I must be out of the lesbian/equine loop. 

[Cheeseweasel 26437]

1 hour ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Wut?  I must be out of the lesbian/equine loop. 

Neigh.

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

10 hours ago, markstanco said:

I would rather get kicked in the balls.

There's an app for that.

[elfenix 34157]

got into the parking garage at work, looked down at the odometer, 150,002.  completely fucking missed it.  i'd been looking forward all yesterday, even thought about driving the extra couple miles yesterday so that i'd be parked at home with 150,000.  i was already in a sour mood due to lack of caffeine and sleep (really seems like we've had more 2 am thunderstorms lately than usual).  now i'm just completely pissed the fuck off.

[SHOOTER12 8775]

10 minutes ago, elfenix said:

got into the parking garage at work, looked down at the odometer, 150,002.  completely fucking missed it.  i'd been looking forward all yesterday, even thought about driving the extra couple miles yesterday so that i'd be parked at home with 150,000.  i was already in a sour mood due to lack of caffeine and sleep (really seems like we've had more 2 am thunderstorms lately than usual).  now i'm just completely pissed the fuck off.

Brother?

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

Look at this dumb fucking clown.

Seven (7) aftermarket peripherals for his Tactical Backpack that he uses to commute through the desolate wastelands of downtown Chicago.

If you have to add that much bullshit to your bag, you bought the wrong bag.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

I'm more pissed at him for being over the age of 8 and having a scooter (at least that's what it looks like).

[luke duke 6363]

People over 30 that still wear their college ring everyday.

[elfenix 34157]

25 minutes ago, luke duke said:

People over 30 that still wear their college ring everyday.

could have saved yourself 45 characters and just typed "aggy."

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

On 3/25/2019 at 3:47 PM, Buffsoldier said:

99 times out of 100, I agree, but serious question: What if it's a Saturday during football season? I know several people who'd rather miss a pro game than miss a college one.

You don't want those people coming to your kids' birthday parties anyway.

[High Plains Drifter 10961]

On 4/3/2019 at 4:23 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

I love the bit I saw once on how many molecules you take in with every breath that once were a part of Aristotle. That one always got a dialectical chuckle out of me.

That story always gets a peripatetic chuckle out of me.

[Prepuce of Doom 20954]

I like to counter by asking about the number of molecules from Genghis Khan's farts in each of our breaths. 

[Knoxtnhorn 5916]

Not really a "surly" thing per se.  More of an, "I don't get it" thing.

Why would anyone put a decal of a company on the back of their car?  I guess I'd get it if you were in the corporate dept. of, say, John Deere.  On the way home today, I saw an Apple, Nike, and Yeti decal on the backs of cars.  I don't understand.

[ImissWallyPryor 9044]

5 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Not really a "surly" thing per se.  More of an, "I don't get it" thing.

Why would anyone put a decal of a company on the back of their car?  I guess I'd get it if you were in the corporate dept. of, say, John Deere.  On the way home today, I saw an Apple, Nike, and Yeti decal on the backs of cars.  I don't understand.

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

[WhatTheBuck 28694]

9 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

How about license plate frames and stickers from the car dealership? Yeah, I fucking hate you guys so much, but I want to drive around displaying your advertisements...for free. 

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

[ImissWallyPryor 9044]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

I do when I can’t read what state they’re from. I can’t stand dealerships, but that feeling is pretty universal. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

When I watch an episode of bubble guppies with my daughters and it’s the episode where they can’t play baseball because it is raining...underwater...and they can’t play because they will get wet. Underwater.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

16 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

When I watch an episode of bubble guppies with my daughters and it’s the episode where they can’t play baseball because it is raining...underwater...and they can’t play because they will get wet. Underwater.

Mind blown right ??

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

It makes a lot more sense when you’re high

[Okie State 3746]

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

You have to remove the dealer frame, install the license plate, and reinstall the dealer frame. You're an absolute moron in my eyes if you do this.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

It makes a lot more sense when you’re high

Oh.....  I'll be right back.....

[PilotsError 2272]

You have to remove the dealer frame, install the license plate, and reinstall the dealer frame. You're an absolute moron in my eyes if you do this.

Grow up bitch

[Okie State 3746]

Ha, okay.

[ChickenSandwich 9788]

On 4/3/2019 at 11:50 AM, Lobo said:

Those touch screens were found to have more fecal matter on them than the bathroom fixtures.  Let that sink in for a minute.  I know the laws of biology don’t apply to surly posters, but almost everything you touch in public has my shit, snot, or jizz on it.  Act accordingly.  

Hey Siri. Make me a fucking sandwich. 

[JimmyRussels 14]

That Google commercial with the golden retriever staring at the wall. It’s a symptom of canine dementia . Great ad asshole.

[Continental Op 3934]

Use of the phrase "make the ask"

[Llano Estacado 1257]

How else are you going to disrupt the paradigm?

Value added to shifting the noun/verb market place. Huddle for a scrum with stakeholders for road mapping and parking lot alignment.

[baboso 6043]

23 hours ago, Okie State said:

On 4/6/2019 at 12:24 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

It requires effort to put stickers on your car. It requires no effort to leave the license plate frames that came with your car on the car. Who pays attention to license plate frames anyway?

You have to remove the dealer frame, install the license plate, and reinstall the dealer frame. You're an absolute moron in my eyes if you do this.

Quit buying poors cars.  Does the dealership not always handle putting the plate on?  Pass the caviar.