Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Underdog 28,372]

12 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Ten o clock last night, I ask some insignificant question to the wife about some insignificant shit my 3rd grader has coming up in school. Wife says "I'll text Mrs. ____." I'm like, what? its ten o clock at night.

Before I can even get the words out, the teacher has texted back.

Wtf.

Any mention of “scissors” in the texts?

[Armybrat 40,635]

26 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Morons who try to be nice and let someone else at a four way stop go when its their turn. Fucks everything all up.

 

Guilty as charged, but I’m slow as fuck getting across the intersection. However, I only wave them to go first if nobody else is at said intersection. Once I get going across the intersection, gtf out of my way because I like to drive 5-10 mph over the speed limit (except in residential areas).

[elfenix 34,157]

2 hours ago, Llogg said:

This is stupid. It's never wrong to be in the appropriate lane for your course of action. You expecting other people to make multiple lane changes to accommodate the possibility that someone coming behind them might maybe want to turn right on red of the opportunity arises is the height of entitlement.

the only time it applies is when there's no one in lane to the left of the one that turns right, and you're not going right immediately past the intersection.  if that is the situation, i move over into the vacant lane since i'm going straight and will continue to do so.  if you don't do that, you're an inconsiderate douchenozzle unaware that you share this earth with other people.

[Hank_Hill 18,315]

On 4/9/2019 at 7:49 PM, Jimbaround said:

Why is it that every fucking time I need to unlock the door to get in the house my keys are in the same pocket as whatever hand is carrying all the shit I’m bringing in from the car?

I’m forced to do the awkward opposite hand cross body pocket dig.

It makes it all better when my wife is sitting on the couch fifteen feet away from the door.

Side dominance thing I reckon. Same thing happens to me.

[NWBuck 8,536]

4 hours ago, Underdog said:

Any mention of “scissors” in the texts?

Meh... They're probably the blunt ended safety variety 

[Walden Ponderer 12,638]

6 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

Morons who try to be nice and let someone else at a four way stop go when its their turn. Fucks everything all up.

When I'm walking, and I've got my headphones on, and I'm in a rhythm, and I need to cross a street, but I'm waiting patiently to get the correct signal at a crosswalk, and some nutjob stops in spite of his green light, and waves at me to go ahead and cross against the light.

Look, jackass, you're paying attention to me, and trying to be nice and all, but someday somebody is going to rear end your stupid ass because you're ignoring the rules. I didn't just learn to walk yesterday, I know what the fuck the crossing rules are, and I'd like to follow them, okay?

[Helobious 9,461]

People who sneeze. Shut the fuck up you weak-minded little bitch. 

[SilasCoade 2,620]

17 hours ago, elfenix said:

the only time it applies is when there's no one in lane to the left of the one that turns right, and you're not going right immediately past the intersection.  if that is the situation, i move over into the vacant lane since i'm going straight and will continue to do so.  if you don't do that, you're an inconsiderate douchenozzle unaware that you share this earth with other people.

Often wrong, never in doubt.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,097]

On 4/9/2019 at 9:09 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

So I found myself behind Tactical Backpack again this morning, and not having any urgent rush to get into the office, I decided to follow him to see where he works and to learn whatever else I could about the habits and rituals of such a strange creature.

He carried the scooter from Ogilvie Station all the way to Wabash and Monroe before eventually unfolding it and scooting off (map of walking route attached, along with a slightly better picture of his bag of bags.)

He had ample opportunity and clear enough sidewalks/streets to get it out much sooner, but he waited all that time.

Perhaps I spooked him. And maybe he's posting on a Zombie Prepper forum at this very moment about the stunningly handsome shithead who followed him this morning.

I don't know why, but 'bag of bags' cracked me up.  Well done, sir.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,097]

22 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

7:45 - Wife calls.  She left her phone at home.  Call her on this number if need be.

You slept in.

[Jersey Man10 3,500]

People who cough loud af and are obviously dying but they say it's just allergies.

Fucking bitch stop smoking every damn 15 minutes and your lungs wouldn't be causing you to cough.

It's been like this for 4 months now.

[Knoxtnhorn 5,916]

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

You slept in.

I get up at 5AM every day of the week.  On wknds l sometimes lay back down for a bit.  I know.  Semantics.

Edited April 12, 2019 by Knoxtnhorn

[Gil Bang 25,831]

"24-7-365" makes me ragey.

24-7 is fine.  But, if you want to carry it further, it should be "24-7-52".  

You go from hours in a day, to days in a week, to days in a fucking year?  Makes no sense. 

[Llano Estacado 1,257]

“Auto-feed” weed eater line.

[PilotsError 2,272]

Having to type out full words on my laptop and not having auto suggestion.  Get the fuck out of here with this shit.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

11 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

"24-7-365" makes me ragey.

24-7 is fine.  But, if you want to carry it further, it should be "24-7-52".  

You go from hours in a day, to days in a week, to days in a fucking year?  Makes no sense. 

 I prefer 24/7/31536000

[mdmost 42,619]

Tear away plastic lids on food containers that don't stay together when you pull back the tab to tear them off. Yogurt tub had one this morning that tore only in the middle of the circle leaving two other portions that each had to be torn off. You had one job plastic separator. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,791]

"24-7-365" makes me ragey.
24-7 is fine.  But, if you want to carry it further, it should be "24-7-52".  
You go from hours in a day, to days in a week, to days in a fucking year?  Makes no sense. 

24-7-4-12-365 doesnt roll off the tongue tho

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

20 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

"24-7-365" makes me ragey.
24-7 is fine.  But, if you want to carry it further, it should be "24-7-52".  
You go from hours in a day, to days in a week, to days in a fucking year?  Makes no sense. 

24-7-4-12-365 doesnt roll off the tongue tho

That's because it has to be 24-7-4.333333333333333333333333-12-365.25

[Llano Estacado 1,257]

You wouldn’t include 365.25 though. Why go back a unit of measure? You shouldn’t go hr/d/w/m/d. 24/7/52 or 24/7/4ish/12

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

24/7/4.33333333333333333/12/10/10/10

[WhatTheBuck 28,694]

I don't care how many screens you have tuned to sports in your bar. If there are sporting events on but you're pumping shitty pop music that appeals to teenage and twenty-something girls through the sound system instead of the sound from one of the games, you're not a sports bar. Least of all the "premier sports bar" of your town as you like to advertise. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I don't care how many screens you have tuned to sports in your bar. If there are sporting events on but you're pumping shitty pop music that appeals to teenage and twenty-something girls through the sound system instead of the sound from one of the games, you're not a sports bar. Least of all the "premier sports bar" of your town as you like to advertise. 

yep.

[Jack Straw 2,953]

can we all agree that people who talk during the movies should be executed immediately upon exiting the theater into the lobby?  

these people are running a close second behind Asian tourists overseas as the worst group of people in the fucking world.  

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

9 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

can we all agree that people who talk during the movies should be executed immediately upon exiting the theater into the lobby?  

these people are running a close second behind Asian tourists overseas as the worst group of people in the fucking world.  

I'd say, people who talk when they shouldn't be talking, period.  

[Jack Straw 2,953]

can we all agree that people who talk during the movies should be executed immediately upon exiting the theater into the lobby?  

these people are running a close second behind Asian tourists overseas as the worst group of people in the fucking world.  

[Jack Straw 2,953]

weird 

[Underdog 28,372]

Is there an echo?

[mdmost 42,619]

Geez you got a big pussy.

Geez you got a big pussy.

[Underdog 28,372]

Mom?

[HenryJames 65,814]

Umpires who call an obvious ball four a strike because the batter has already started for first base.

[HornsOverIthaca 2,333]

23 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

I'd say, people who talk when they shouldn't be talking, period.  

Agreed.  Silence is golden.  Like delicious golden fries.

[52-80 19,041]

stepped on chewing gum on the way to the office today.

 

honestly, chewing bubble gum is annoying enough as it is.  if you throw that shit carelessly on the ground, i fully support singaporean-style caning for that kind of action

[Vic Mackey 46,808]

stepped on chewing gum on the way to the office today.
 
honestly, chewing bubble gum is annoying enough as it is.  if you throw that shit carelessly on the ground, i fully support singaporean-style caning for that kind of action

People who litter in general need to be castrated.

[luke duke 6,363]

OMG, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is burning. I must go on Facebook and let everyone know that I was lucky enough to visit it in 2003!!!!

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

3 minutes ago, luke duke said:

OMG, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is burning. I must go on Facebook and let everyone know that I was lucky enough to visit it in 2003!!!!

Hashtag Paris Strong!

[52-80 19,041]

31 minutes ago, luke duke said:

OMG, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is burning. I must go on Facebook and let everyone know that I was lucky enough to visit it in 2003!!!!

When a foreign city is brought up, make unsolicited recommendation to do a specific thing at a specific place, as if it's the only place to do that only thing and is best known by a one-time visitor.

 

"Go to C'est Mon Plasir next to Square du Chanoine-Violett and have a rhubarb quiche for me!!"

[Vic Mackey 46,808]

OMG, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is burning. I must go on Facebook and let everyone know that I was lucky enough to visit it in 2003!!!!

Will Facebook allow us to add the cathedral to our Facebook profile pics so we can show everyone how much we support it!?

[chikin23 384]

Will Facebook allow us to add the cathedral to our Facebook profile pics so we can show everyone how much we support it!?

 

Give it time and there's Notre Dame thing you can do to stop it.

 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

14 hours ago, luke duke said:

OMG, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is burning. I must go on Facebook and let everyone know that I was lucky enough to visit it in 2003!!!!

don't forget Twitter!!!! especially if you have a blue checkmark next to your name, people need to hear you're in solidarity with their feels!!!!

Edited April 16, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[elfenix 34,157]

state bar created a list serve for a section this morning and assholes keep hitting reply all to complain about how many emails they're getting.  fuck you morons.

[Walden Ponderer 12,638]

People who send work related email at 11 pm and then get huffy when I don't answer it until the following morning. Yes, I got notified tonight--I have a phone, just like the rest of the free world. But that doesn't move your dumbassed issue to the top of my list, it just pisses me off.

[Fudge Nuggets 19,097]

6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

People who send work related email at 11 pm and then get huffy when I don't answer it until the following morning. Yes, I got notified tonight--I have a phone, just like the rest of the free world. But that doesn't move your dumbassed issue to the top of my list, it just pisses me off.

Not trivial at all.  I'm in O&G and have told several people that unless the rig is on fire, odds are it's going to wait until tomorrow.

[Coyote 269]

"See clerk for receipt" at gas stations. Fuck you, you upselling assholes.

[deadshank 24,646]

3 minutes ago, Coyote said:

"See clerk for receipt" at gas stations. Fuck you, you upselling assholes.

More like clerks are too stupid or too lazy or both to put more paper in the machine.   

Never had this happen to me at HEB or Buc-ee's. 

[Patricio Swayze 17,058]

Not trivial at all.  I'm in O&G and have told several people that unless the rig is on fire, odds are it's going to wait until tomorrow.

Exactly. Also in O&G and I have set strict rules about work/life balance. In fact, at this most recent gig I don’t even have work email going to my phone. I work 40 hours and that is it. If I really need to work more, I will, but I will not let work cut into time with my kids for some shit that can wait until the next day. I live by the saying “failure to plan on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part”.

[Newdoc 3,425]

People that save places in line at counter serve restaurants for their 5 family members and two besties. Wait for your party to get there prior to getting in line ahole.

[elfenix 34,157]

4 minutes ago, Newdoc said:

People that save places in line at counter serve restaurants for their 5 family members and two besties. Wait for your party to get there prior to getting in line ahole.

people who save tables when there's a line for a counter serve restaurant. 

[SilasCoade 2,620]

people who save seats anywhere in a public space. fuck you if your party's not here, I'm sitting down. Nice to meet you.

[davidg 4,019]

7 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Not trivial at all.  I'm in O&G and have told several people that unless the rig is on fire, odds are it's going to wait until tomorrow.

Take two aspirin, re-head and call me in the morning.