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4 hours ago, EE2B said:


I work with an engineer who will look at his phone to see who is calling and then just let it ring. I don’t know if he doesn’t know how to turn the ringer off or just doesn’t want to. His ring tone is also just two minions talking so it’s about two minutes worth of nonsense. He also still has the “clicks” turned on for his keypad so every time he sends a text or answers a email all you hear is click click click....

Why haven’t you poisoned his coffee yet?

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

17 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

This happened to today at Subway (yeah, I know):

Person in line in front of me orders a sandwich, and is asked what kind of bread?  They weigh the pros and cons of the five different kinds of bread like they're picking out a fucking wedding dress. Fuck, how many times have you been in a subway? Do you speak fucking English? How do you already not know? You have been waiting in line at least as long as I have. And then here it comes, as sure as the dawn, would you like cheese with that? Hmmm let's consider the caloric, financial, and ethical ramification of putting cheese on a sandwich before I decide to get the same goddamned thing I get every fucking time. Oh, wait, what kind of cheese? Another life or death decision, don't answer to fast, your life may depend on the answer.

Fuck, I hate slow as people wasting my time. I hate

This is trivial and makes me surly.  I will assume you are not homeless.   Therefore, as a grown adult---why are you eating at Subway?  What shithole have you put yourself in?  

 

Girls on Twitter that act like super sports fans because they think it makes them more desirable.

What is this "do the needful" phrase? 

Panic buttons on car remotes.  Has anyone ever used one of these to save their own lives or the lives of others?  I always hit them by mistake, and on some cars, you need to put the key in the god damn ignition to get it to turn off.  

The phrase "as per"...

 

Also "per cent".  Maybe it's a British thing.


My daughter is autistic. Now that she is 16 it’s important to get her to step out of her comfort zone and learn to do more things on her own. One of the things she feels very uncomfortable doing is ordering her own food. I’ve been trying to get her to do this so she won’t starve to death after I die. If this makes you wait a minute or so in line I don’t really give a fuck
I'm talking toddlers bro. /nopedo

Threesome (the golf kind - MMM) - guy hitting yellow ball always has to go up to my white ball in the fairway/green to see if it's his. When he determines that it not a yellow Callaway but a white Titleist, he lets me know that it's my ball. Thank you. I knew that.

 

Low Carb Tortillas. Hey fat ass eat less instead of forcing me to pay $3 for 8 tortillas.

 

You are the reason why I don’t like company.

1 hour ago, ernest_t_bass said:

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wrong.gif

 

He's not saying "eat less tortillas" he's saying "eat less food," which is correct.

Panic buttons on car remotes.  Has anyone ever used one of these to save their own lives or the lives of others?  I always hit them by mistake, and on some cars, you need to put the key in the god damn ignition to get it to turn off.  
Great post and no. I don't always hit my panic button. But when I do...I can never find the button to shut it off

Whoever came up with this style of "tucking pant bottoms into socks" is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet.  This is so fucking stupid.

 

sportswear-mens-woven-pants-3dQ1Rj.jpg

The 'roided up Eagles fan with the painted face and Mohawk at the NFL draft. What a tool. 

Oh look, he has a clone who roots for the Colts. 

Edited by WhatTheBuck

The 'roided up Eagles fan with the painted face and Mohawk at the NFL draft. What a tool. 
Oh look, he has a clone who roots for the Colts. 
How about this guy?
41a813f60f1914bfdf074fca30a6b634.jpg
20 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The 'roided up Eagles fan with the painted face and Mohawk at the NFL draft. What a tool. 

Oh look, he has a clone who roots for the Colts. 

How about just say any human over the age of 16 that hoots and hollers at a fucking draft. 

26 minutes ago, threesheets said:

How about just say any human over the age of 16 that hoots and hollers at a fucking draft. 

How about people that actually watch the damn thing or even worse spend money to go watch the thing..

On 4/26/2019 at 5:36 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:
On 4/25/2019 at 4:34 PM, cabowabo said:
Panic buttons on car remotes.  Has anyone ever used one of these to save their own lives or the lives of others?  I always hit them by mistake, and on some cars, you need to put the key in the god damn ignition to get it to turn off.  

Great post and no. I don't always hit my panic button. But when I do...I can never find the button to shut it off

Me either.  The one for my truck is way too easy to set off - it’s happened at inopportune times digging them out of my pocket.  The worst was at the LCRA campground in Matagorda.  Got up at a quarter to five to get down the beach before sunrise and bam!  Blared like ten times before I got it shut off because it was dark.  

5 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

How about this guy?
41a813f60f1914bfdf074fca30a6b634.jpg

I know, right? Fucking Jets fans with their smarmy no-socks look.

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I know, right? Fucking Jets fans with their smarmy no-socks look.

At first glance I thought Jets fan was Verlander’s brother.

Panic buttons on car remotes.  Has anyone ever used one of these to save their own lives or the lives of others?  I always hit them by mistake, and on some cars, you need to put the key in the god damn ignition to get it to turn off.  
Hold the button down for 2cseconds turns it off.

I've rented a bunch of cars and haven't ran across the key in the ignition thing. What brand of car do they do this?

Loading a fucking PEZ dispenser for my kid. Used to be able to tear the wrapper down the side and slide all of them in at once. Now the wrappers have changed to shitty paper that won’t cleanly tear open so you have to load each piece of candy individually.

4 minutes ago, CooterBrown said:

Loading a fucking PEZ dispenser for my kid. Used to be able to tear the wrapper down the side and slide all of them in at once. Now the wrappers have changed to shitty paper that won’t cleanly tear open so you have to load each piece of candy individually.

FML called they need this story pronto !!!

10 hours ago, markstanco said:

Hold the button down for 2cseconds turns it off.

I've rented a bunch of cars and haven't ran across the key in the ignition thing. What brand of car do they do this?

My Jeep is like this, I fucking hate it

And read each put like they are on the 18th at the Masters.


This drives me batty. Covering the bill of their cap with both hands. Crouching down in the opposite side of the green. Fuck you. You're going to miss anyway. Just putt and move on.
On 4/25/2019 at 11:34 PM, cabowabo said:

Panic buttons on car remotes.  Has anyone ever used one of these to save their own lives or the lives of others?  I always hit them by mistake, and on some cars, you need to put the key in the god damn ignition to get it to turn off.  

It's a decent prank to play on acquaintances/strangers when they walk by your car (and the panic alarm is loud)

 

The other useful function is it helps you track your car in a big parking lot

Live where burning brush is allowed. Storm came through late last night so decided to Cut down some trees today and burn them.

My pile was literally in mud and standing water that can be seen from the street. Only had flames taller than me a couple times when I’d put a branch with a lot of leaves. Apparently someone called the FD on me.

Hate that they had to waste their time coming to something that was 100% in control and legal. b4431e46140358a500fbdb8eba3aa3ca.jpg

Those little waxed napkin like they give you at ice cream places.  Them things aren't absorbent for shit

10 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

That you are required to show your card to enter Costco when you can’t check out without showing it as well.

Fuck paying some store a fee to go there and shop.

HEB owns Costco.

  • Author

Rage but I don't think we have that thread: traded seats at the gate so a family could sit together. Moved me one row forward. I was ok with it because it's a window seat. Get on the plane and I see this:

4311eba62e1f4d550845f7fd52d64bae.jpg

 

I am definitely reclining.

When I send you an email, you don't have to address me using the same damn greeting every time. I can't tell you how many times I will email someone I'm trying or currently doing business with and they begin every email with "Hi Mike!". Yeah, I know my name and I know you're talking to me. Who is teaching these people to communicate like that?

2 hours ago, HRSchenker said:

When I send you an email, you don't have to address me using the same damn greeting every time. I can't tell you how many times I will email someone I'm trying or currently doing business with and they begin every email with "Hi Mike!". Yeah, I know my name and I know you're talking to me. Who is teaching these people to communicate like that?

My dad puts 'Dad' at the end of any email he sends to me. Yeah, I know who you are by now, dad.

Rage but I don't think we have that thread: traded seats at the gate so a family could sit together. Moved me one row forward. I was ok with it because it's a window seat. Get on the plane and I see this:
4311eba62e1f4d550845f7fd52d64bae.jpg
 
I am definitely reclining.

Asking me to trade my aisle seat for a middle seat on a long flight so a family, or worse, a couple, can sit together. I'll trade an aisle for an aisle or even an aisle for a window seat to help out, but don't ask people to go to a middle seat because you didn't plan better, or found cheap flights knowing you were going to try to shame folks to accommodate you.

The ambiguous logo design of the mute button on phone and telephony software (e.g. Skype) means I'm never more than 60% certain whether I'm muted or not.

 

The logo is usually of a mic.  So do I press the button to turn the mic on, or do I press it to mute the mic?  On Skype I think, the fucking mic button turns RED when muted.  Almost universally in the audio/video world, red means recording/hot/live.

 

Fuck man, it's software, just make the button literally say "mic on" or "mic off" or something

The ambiguous logo design of the mute button on phone and telephony software (e.g. Skype) means I'm never more than 60% certain whether I'm muted or not.
 
The logo is usually of a mic.  So do I press the button to turn the mic on, or do I press it to mute the mic?  On Skype I think, the fucking mic button turns RED when muted.  Almost universally in the audio/video world, red means recording/hot/live.
 
Fuck man, it's software, just make the button literally say "mic on" or "mic off" or something


Dad?
6 hours ago, elfenix said:

Rage but I don't think we have that thread: traded seats at the gate so a family could sit together. Moved me one row forward. I was ok with it because it's a window seat. Get on the plane and I see this:

4311eba62e1f4d550845f7fd52d64bae.jpg

 

I am definitely reclining.

That's not a window.  Just saying.

Kiss ass employees who spend more time kissing my ass than doing their work.

I really have no patience for them.  You want to get on my good side?  Do your fucking job.  That's all that matters.

On 4/25/2019 at 4:36 PM, 52-80 said:

The phrase "as per"...

 

Also "per cent".  Maybe it's a British thing.

I use per a lot when informing people I'm about to totally fuck their laptop per so and so's request.

The ambiguous logo design of the mute button on phone and telephony software (e.g. Skype) means I'm never more than 60% certain whether I'm muted or not.
 
The logo is usually of a mic.  So do I press the button to turn the mic on, or do I press it to mute the mic?  On Skype I think, the fucking mic button turns RED when muted.  Almost universally in the audio/video world, red means recording/hot/live.
 
Fuck man, it's software, just make the button literally say "mic on" or "mic off" or something

Yup. I’ve been on a couple of calls where either I or someone else has muted the call and then accidentally hung up instead of turning off the mute because both buttons look the same and are right next to each other.

Someone may have already posted this, but it's deserving of multiple posts...

Getting a new phone.  More precisely, trying to update the new phone with the old phone's stuff.  Fuck Apple.  Fuck them with a 10 fucking foot pole and no lube.  This is the most ridiculous crap ever.  I miss the old "smart" phones where we removed the card from the old phone, put it in the new phone, and were done.  

  • Author

The beer selection at this airport bar just went from local microbrew to blue moon to just Coors light. Thank fuck I'm not the one paying for this.

17 hours ago, elfenix said:

Rage but I don't think we have that thread: traded seats at the gate so a family could sit together. Moved me one row forward. I was ok with it because it's a window seat. Get on the plane and I see this:

4311eba62e1f4d550845f7fd52d64bae.jpg

 

I am definitely reclining.

What is 'this'?

  • Author

Blank wall in the back of a 787 where one might usually expect to find a window.

 

 

It only really affects me when it is my neighbors, but I cannot stand seeing someone's house in complete shambles, with crap upon crap all over their yard.  I don't understand it.  I don't understand why someone chooses to live that way, and it should not affect my life in any way.  Serenity now.

When I drop a picture into a powerpoint and it's sideways.  It wasn't sideways in the folder, but it is in the PPT.  Just one more thing to fix.

When I drop a picture into a powerpoint and it's sideways.  It wasn't sideways in the folder, but it is in the PPT.  Just one more thing to fix.


Know how I know you aren’t a millennial?
When I send you an email, you don't have to address me using the same damn greeting every time. I can't tell you how many times I will email someone I'm trying or currently doing business with and they begin every email with "Hi Mike!". Yeah, I know my name and I know you're talking to me. Who is teaching these people to communicate like that?
Hi HRSchenker


Dont be a grumpy dick.

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