Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[troph 24910]

I think you and I could vacation together.

The vacay sex would be phenom, I bet.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21921]

Vacation sex is always the best

[ABSR 5324]

15 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I can’t think of 5 or 6 people that I know period that I would vacation with. I go on vacation to get away from the people I know.

Me too, but my wife and kids keep insisting on coming.

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Went to see ZOSO last night.  What annoys the fuck out of me is when people feel the need to stick their phones in the air and record the entire fucking show, blocking my view, and not EXPERIENCING the fucking greatness of the show.  Get out of my way, and get the fuck off my lawn.

[PilotsError 2321]

When Americans refer to lines as 'queues'.  

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

About two years ago my neighbors went to Jamaica for vacation and the husband left his nice pickup in the street. A big storm was about to roll through and I see he has left the power window behind the cab open. I run and grab some plastic and duct tape (not the best choice but all I could find in a hurry). I seal the window off as it starts raining. When they get back he thanks me. There was some residue from the tape when he pulled it off. Something very easy to clean off. Well goddamn it, 2 years later and the residue is still there. I should have let the rain get in.

[Guest]

On 5/10/2019 at 2:56 PM, Dbeasy said:

My wife leaves the driver’s side car visor unhooked. She doesn’t rotate it down to block the sun, she just leaves it unhooked so that it slightly bounces up and down as we travel down the highway. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Kill me.

find your sack and remove the motherfucker.

get her a ballcap.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21921]

Sounds like his wife’s purse is his ballcup

[Lat22 4017]

This is a little Inside Baseball, but fuck you if you anchor up in the small boat cut at the north Galveston jetty.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Wait.. like a common occurrence?

I travelled with a female coworker friend only!! No pics assholes to "long lunches" as well as tubing down south and to ones bachelor party in Vegas but in general fuck that shit. I saw enough of them.

Loser.....

['stache 21867]

2 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Wait.. like a common occurrence?

I travelled with a female coworker friend only!! No pics assholes to "long lunches" as well as tubing down south and to ones bachelor party in Vegas but in general fuck that shit. I saw enough of them.

So you tubed your female coworker at a bachelor party in Vegas? Nice!

[Sandman 3412]

People that can't figure out how to use "bias" and "biased" in a sentence. They can DIAF with the "dominate" and "dominant" fuckers.  

The only good thing about it is that I now know who has read a book or two and who has not.

[Brisketexan 105340]

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

[ztejas 43538]

14 minutes ago, Sandman said:

People that can't figure out how to use "bias" and "biased" in a sentence. They can DIAF with the "dominate" and "dominant" fuckers.  

The only good thing about it is that I now know who has read a book or two and who has not.

If you use dominate instead of dominant I just assume you're a fucking moron. Same for "explanation point"

9 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

I give people that do this a little more leeway, but it is without a doubt one of the most frequent mistakes that I see that I feel the need to grammar police. 

[Player 4576]

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

Exspecially irksome

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

29 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

you get mad and you make that person your escape ghost, but it's not their fault

[ABSR 5324]

46 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

So this exacerbates your exasperation?

[ztejas 43538]

18 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

you get mad and you make that person your escape ghost, but it's not their fault

Personally I think he should just let it go. It's water under the fridge at this point. 

[MissingInAction 25187]

My last manager actually called me into her office to encourage me to hang out with the other employees outside of office hours. Lunches, happy hours, and shit.

Only if it means overtime pay. She did not ask again.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

When you deposit a long awaited check.

 

And it's $36.94 short of being able to pay off your entire credit card debt....

[Vic Mackey 47154]

So this exacerbates your exasperation?

Did someone say masturbation?

[Underdog 28773]

1 hour ago, ABSR said:

So this exacerbates your exasperation?

Smell the desperation...

[ztejas 43538]

Let the drama kid die?

[Jersey Man10 3543]

I can except that.

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

3 hours ago, ABSR said:

So this exacerbates your exasperation?

For all intensive purposes. 

[ztejas 43538]

I work in an office with all women (for another couple months at least). 

Sometimes I get the question, "What's it like being the only guy?"

Today I come back from lunch to a cupcake tray that a client has gifted us:

Edited May 14, 2019 by ztejas

[Brisketexan 105340]

^^^^ Goddamn, that's funny.

[Guest]

Wholly shit... who eats 1/4 of a gotdam cupcake?

 

Done with the illusion of evading the fatass hips curse.

 

LOLz.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8821]

49 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I work in an office with all women (for another couple months at least). 

Sometimes I get the question, "What's it like being the only guy?"

Today I come back from lunch to a cupcake tray that a client has gifted us:

damn. Id take thirds of all 9 cupcakes and have at it.

 

wife confirms its a woman thing. its to have more than one flavor

Edited May 14, 2019 by MNLonghornFUKM

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

7 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

People who use "exasperate" when they mean to use "exacerbate.'  So, like ALL PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.  I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN SOMEONE USE THE CORRECT GODDAMNED WORD.

You're  making the situation ......  what's the word ?     Worse.

['stache 21867]

It happened again. Having a sexy time dream and wake up right before the good stuff starts. Every dang time.

[Guest Lobo]

$20 says it was one woman that did that by herself.  

[EMAWesome 101]

Goddamn motherfuckers who spit their gum out on golf courses.  This is two years in a row I am going to spend six months trying to get a goddamn piece of gum out of the threads of my soft spikes of one of my shoes.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

14 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

wife confirms its a woman thing. its to have more than one flavor

I'll bet she does!

[Fudge Nuggets 19224]

It's funny that they won't eat a vegetable even if it's made out of icing.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

people who don't understand a joke and respond by neg repping the post

Edited May 15, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[ztejas 43538]

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

$20 says it was one woman that did that by herself.  

Oh no this was definitely a group effort.

But seriously, just cut it in half. They were pretty big cupcakes so I get it, but this cut a 1/4 off shit is ridiculous. I don't want your 2/3 of a cupcake that you've had your hands all over. 

[SilasCoade 2622]

cupcakes and doughnuts are single serving pastries. the women at work are constantly cutting them into bits. every single one of them is overweight, some of them grossly so. why make a show of eating a quarter of a cupcake when you're just going to home and eat two little caesar's large pizzas by yourself?

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

32 minutes ago, Llogg said:

why make a show of eating a quarter of a cupcake when you're just going to home and eat two little caesar's large pizzas by yourself?

saving room, duh!

[lateshow 1308]

People that say snakes are poisonous. It's venomous you dumb mother fuckers. 

[Steamboat1874 4084]

4 hours ago, EMAWesome said:

Goddamn motherfuckers who spit their gum out on golf courses.  This is two years in a row I am going to spend six months trying to get a goddamn piece of gum out of the threads of my soft spikes of one of my shoes.

Worse than that are the cocksuckers that spit sunflower seed shells on the putting green.

I hope they either choke on them or get a festering tumor in their colon because those little nuts get caught in the wall.

Edited May 15, 2019 by Steamboat1874

[BayouBill 835]

and that's fair.

[ABSR 5324]

2 hours ago, Llogg said:

 why make a show of eating a quarter of a cupcake when you're just going to home and eat two little caesar's large pizzas by yourself?

They do this so they can tell others (and themselves) that they only had a bite or a small piece. 

Of course it will be 8 or 9 pieces.  But that's 8 or 9 bites that are so small they really don't count, right!

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, lateshow said:

People that say snakes are poisonous. It's venomous you dumb mother fuckers. 

Depends on how you cook 'em.

[ztejas 43538]

47 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Depends on how you cook 'em.

['stache 21867]

1 hour ago, ABSR said:

They do this so they can tell others (and themselves) that they only had a bite or a small piece. 

Of course it will be 8 or 9 pieces.  But that's 8 or 9 bites that are so small they really don't count, right!

Meh. I'll do it sometimes to try the different offerings. There is a new donut shop in town that has a billion different types and people like to bring them in to the office. They have about a pound of sugar per bite so most people take small pieces to try the different varieties and consume a reasonable amount of sugar. I'm okay with it.

[Sandman 3412]

On 5/14/2019 at 12:14 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

you get mad and you make that person your escape ghost, but it's not their fault

You mean "ex-cape goat" ?

[Judge Roybeanbag 11821]

3 hours ago, lateshow said:

People that say snakes are poisonous. It's venomous you dumb mother fuckers. 

Yeah, but the venom is poisonous.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21921]

Actually most venoms are not poisonous

[Sbbruin 21890]

11 hours ago, 'stache said:

It happened again. Having a sexy time dream and wake up right before the good stuff starts. Every dang time.

And sometimes you can feel yourself starting to come out of it and you're like "nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"