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Kids have been under control in most breweries I have been. Cottonwood Bar in Houston, now that place is a freaking daycare center.

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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Fucking doctor’s offices. I had an appointment yesterday with my oncologist, I was diagnosed with Leukemia about 2 years ago. Blood tests are always necessary but we never get the results back in time to discuss them at that meeting. So, I went in a week early to have my blood drawn and get the tests back in enough time to have a meaningful conversation with my doctor. My appointment was at 2:30, but we have to arrive 15 minutes early. We got there at 2:10. 
At 4:15 they finally called my name and we went back to sit in the exam room. At 5:00 the doctor popped in and asked me a few quick questions. He was in there less than 5 minutes before he stepped back out. At 5:30 a nurse came in to tell me that the one test they need to discuss with me (the one we are keeping an eye on and the reason I go in every 3 months) was not performed when they drew my blood last week. 
She took me upstairs to the lab to draw my blood again. When we were finished she said they would “call me tomorrow because the doctor is gone now and it’s too late to set up my next appointment since it’s after 5:30.”
To say I was fucking livid is an understatement. I know you’re busy, we all are. I know mistakes get made and your staff isn’t doing this to me on purpose. But goddamn, this is my life. At least act like you care or are even remotely sorry for the inconvenience. 
Damn

My wife was high risk pregnancy with both of our kids sooo we had our more than fair share of hospital visits. Nothing like yours but the whole waiting game was such a pain. Especially in a room without windows. Then we had to schedule the next weeks ultrasound and stress test with the 73 year old receptionist trying to figure it out added another 10 -15.

5 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

Filling out a screener. What the fuck is GenderQueer?

 

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They’re just making up shit now, aren’t they?

Now?

7 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

Filling out a screener. What the fuck is GenderQueer?

 

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They left off Reubenesque.

Hotel housekeeping staff that close the shower/tub drain every time so that you step half asleep into a tub of water. Not trivial when you forget to check it and do the same thing the next morning

One of the 'kid friendly' breweries opened near us. Turns out an acquaintance is an investor. He invited us to hospitality on his tab and wasn't happy when we told him date night does not include patronizing places with kids running wild everywhere while their parents are drinking.


But I can buy an extra 6 beers for what I would pay a sitter. I can also buy 4 more beers for the cost of an Uber. That’s an extra 10 beers and I get to spend extra time with the kids on the drive home. It’s a win-win, amirite?
20 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

One of the 'kid friendly' breweries opened near us. Turns out an acquaintance is an investor. He invited us to hospitality on his tab and wasn't happy when we told him date night does not include patronizing places with kids running wild everywhere while their parents are drinking.

That just doesn’t sound like a win.  I guess they are willing to stake the capital to see whether it is worth it or not.

I’d just as well hang out with neighbors and drink beer if we’re gonna have kids running around. When I choose to go to a bar, it tends to be for 1) beer selection and 2) no freaking kids.

 

Maybe it’s just a smooth angle on increasing MILF traffic.

 

 

Edited by slorch

28 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 


But I can buy an extra 6 beers for what I would pay a sitter. I can also buy 4 more beers for the cost of an Uber. That’s an extra 10 beers and I get to spend extra time with the kids on the drive home. It’s a win-win, amirite?

 

IOW, you drive drunk with your kids in the car? 

  • Author

Currently a passenger in a car being driven by a left lane camper. Keep getting passed on the right. Getting very annoyed.

Currently a passenger in a car being driven by a left lane camper. Keep getting passed on the right. Getting very annoyed.
I was going to make a husband joke but maybe next time you should drive instead of your wife
14 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Doesn't everyone?

Not my own, certainly not.  Now others kids?...hmmmm

4 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Currently a passenger in a car being driven by a left lane camper. Keep getting passed on the right. Getting very annoyed.

And you don't feel the time is right for a teaching moment ?

Currently a passenger in a car being driven by a left lane camper. Keep getting passed on the right. Getting very annoyed.

The two signs they either can’t read or don’t think applies to them;

Slower traffic keep right.

Left lane passing only.

Death penalty for non compliance should do the trick.
3 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

And you don't feel the time is right for a teaching moment ?

The driver keeps Fenix’s balls in her purse.

edit: see MN beat me to it...

Edited by slorch

The commercial for the new Apple Watch with the Hokey Pokey song. 

  • Author
I was going to make a husband joke but maybe next time you should drive instead of your wife
Cousin driving his own car

 

 

 

 

 

And you don't feel the time is right for a teaching moment ?

 

I've tried teaching before. He didn't take to it.

10 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Cousin driving his own car

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've tried teaching before. He didn't take to it.

I hate people. Europeans think, and know that Americans are the absolute worst drivers in the known, and unknown universe.  

GET YOUR ASS OVER IN THE RIGHT LANE YOU GOTT DAMN DUMB ASS !!!  I need too have that in flashing neon on the bumper of my SUV.  That or a pair of bumper mounted .50 cals. with paint gun rounds....

It's gotten to the point that people drive less than the posted speed limit in the left hand lane for miles....

I hate people. Europeans think, and know that Americans are the absolute worst drivers in the known, and unknown universe.  
GET YOUR ASS OVER IN THE RIGHT LANE YOU GOTT DAMN DUMB ASS !!!  I need too have that in flashing neon on the bumper of my SUV.  That or a pair of bumper mounted .50 cals. with paint gun rounds....
It's gotten to the point that people drive less than the posted speed limit in the left hand lane for miles....

User names checks out.
38 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I hate people. Europeans think, and know that Americans are the absolute worst drivers in the known, and unknown universe.  

GET YOUR ASS OVER IN THE RIGHT LANE YOU GOTT DAMN DUMB ASS !!!  I need too have that in flashing neon on the bumper of my SUV.  That or a pair of bumper mounted .50 cals. with paint gun rounds....

It's gotten to the point that people drive less than the posted speed limit in the left hand lane for miles....

HiddenTeemingEsok-size_restricted.gif

8 hours ago, Armybrat said:

They left off Reubenesque.

I see what you did there.

/no cr

I hate how drivers treat store parking lots.  They disregard all lines, and treat it as open/free pavement.

Just now, ernest_t_bass said:

I hate how drivers treat store parking lots.  They disregard all lines, and treat it as open/free pavement.

I park away from other cars and take the longer walk in stride. The wife gets pissed, but I care not.

I guess I'm more referencing cars who drive and cut across the parking lot, not so much parking.  Drivers who speed across perpendicular to the lanes. 

3 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:

I guess I'm more referencing cars who drive and cut across the parking lot, not so much parking.  Drivers who speed across perpendicular to the lanes. 

Ahh gotcha, I'm guilty of that if it's a really open lot, but still not just NASCARing it across the lot. If the lanes have lots of cars, and lots of blind spots then I'm following the rules.

It looks we are back on the subject of not trivial.

People who go into parking garages with a gate card. You know you need the card to get in the garage. Don't wait until you get to the gate and then rummage around your purse or whatever the hell you are doing for a minute. Have that shit ready.

9 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I hate people. Europeans think, and know that Americans are the absolute worst drivers in the known, and unknown universe.  

GET YOUR ASS OVER IN THE RIGHT LANE YOU GOTT DAMN DUMB ASS !!!  I need too have that in flashing neon on the bumper of my SUV.  That or a pair of bumper mounted .50 cals. with paint gun rounds....

It's gotten to the point that people drive less than the posted speed limit in the left hand lane for miles....

Had a buddy of a buddy drive me once, he's from Florida.  We're in the left lane, kinda tailgating some moron doing like 57 or so. I ask him, 'do folks not respect the left lane in Florida too?' to which he answered 'dunno, don't really pay attention to that.'  Took all the willpower I had not to call him a moron.

20 hours ago, luke duke said:

 


84bf119676fef418207dcc598d8ae825.gif

 

Not the first time, certainly won’t be the last. 

There was a dildo on his bike yesterday that had a loudspeaker so he could listen to music.  I was confused why "Smack my bitch up" was playing aloud and getting louder, then the dildo rolls up.

13 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Internet speed in marble falls is slower than a moose taking a post thanksgiving shit.

Moose eat a lot of Thanksgiving turkey?

6 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Moose eat a lot of Thanksgiving turkey?

  I didn't know Moose even celebrated Thanksgiving.

Figured they'd be more into Boxing Day.

55 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

There was a dildo on his bike yesterday that had a loudspeaker so he could listen to music.  I was confused why "Smack my bitch up" was playing aloud and getting louder, then the dildo rolls up.

Was it this guy? 

Image result for always sunny ass blaster

We've covered this before I believe but that one god damn mosquito that makes it into your house when you open the front door and then terrorizes your ankles the rest of the day. The worst is when they buzz you when you're in bed or attack your hand that's peeking out from under the covers. Why did God in his infinite wisdom create these massive pieces of shit that seem to serve no greater purpose? Just having a laugh?

Restaurants that cut lemons like this and not in wedges. It's damn near impossible to squeeze that motherfucker in my water without making a giant fucking mess. WEDGES people!b3471484447661e2a4e31165c589e7fd.jpg

2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

  I didn't know Moose even celebrated Thanksgiving.

A moose once bit my sister.

4 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Grown men who ask for lemon in their water.

This. Just order a fucking Zima.

9 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Grown men who ask for lemon in their water.

I get lemon with my water all the time... because my daughter likes to eat the lemons.

13 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Grown men who ask for lemon in their water.

Exactly, it's a cucumber or nothing...  amiright !!??

53 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Grown men who ask for lemon in their water.

I drink it straight, same with tea. Same with coffee.

However...

 

Why the fuck does it matter how another person gets their water?

  • Popular Post

People that are so fucking sensitive.  My wife has a friend (no pics, trust me) that was telling this long story about doing ancestry.com or one of those DNA stealing sites and it told her she had all these relatives that were a match.  So long story short, she finds out her grandmother was a prostitute and had all these kids that were given up for adoption.  I quoted that scene in Beerfest "Maybe gam gams was a whore".  She gets offended and my wife gets pissed but her husband thought it was pretty funny.  If your going to tell a story about your grandma being a whore, don't be so fucking sensitive.

 

36 minutes ago, slorch said:

Why the fuck does it matter how another person gets their water?

Welcome to Shaggy Surly. Good to have you here.

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