Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Walden Ponderer 12638]

13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

How does every Taco Bell in the world manage to fuck up your order like 70% of the time?  Is it in their corporate training to leave shit out of your bag?

Just be thankful they aren't like Burger King, where it's in their corporate training to put shit in your bag.

[Covri 6225]

6 hours ago, elfenix said:

no idea how they confused a doritos taco for a chicken roll with mayo sauce last night, but they did.  that roll was fucking disgusting.

They have mayo at Taco Bell now? What fat fuck needs mayo on something from Taco Bell...

 

[52-80 19043]

uber cant make a nice compact clean 1 page receipt but its 3-4, and when you print directly from gmail its all super fucked up and gigantic and sometimes dont show up at all

[elfenix 34161]

2 minutes ago, Covri said:

They have mayo at Taco Bell now? What fat fuck needs mayo on something from Taco Bell...

 

Quote

Creamy Chipotle Sauce: Soybean oil, water, vinegar, cage-free egg yolk,

that's mayo.  i think this was the piece of shit i found in my bag: https://www.tacobell.com/food/burritos/chipotle-chicken-loaded-griller

Edited July 20, 2019 by elfenix

[Covri 6225]

1 minute ago, elfenix said:

that's mayo. 

Lol I guess, pretty much every fast food sauce is soybean oil based these days. I was thinking there were enough people out there like “you know what would make this cheesy Gordita crunch better? Hellman’s” that Taco Bell was offering straight mayo these days.

[Mrs Whiggins 13049]

I'm usually a fairly patient person, but when I go to the grocery store, I have a list and I am there to get the items and get out. If my husband is with me, sometimes I go an aisle ahead and bring items back to the cart to make it go faster. So why the family of I dunno, five, six, seven? along with the main cart plus the kiddy cart feels the need to stretch out along the fresh fish display so that no one else waiting can see anything gets me surly. I have children, so I understand the need to keep children occupied and entertained, but by the time you have more than one, up your crowd control game people.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

19 hours ago, retsevlys said:

Fuck a commercial with phone notifications dinging in it.  Same thing with a doorbell in the commercial.

Same with radio commercials with a horn honking.  <looks around>

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Weddings

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

uber cant make a nice compact clean 1 page receipt but its 3-4, and when you print directly from gmail its all super fucked up and gigantic and sometimes dont show up at all

Please think of the trees before printing this email

[retread 2951]

2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Same with radio commercials with a horn honking.  <looks around>

Same with alarm clocks and commercials massacring songs from my youth.

[NorthLoop 14044]

5 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

I'm usually a fairly patient person, but when I go to the grocery store, I have a list and I am there to get the items and get out. If my husband is with me, sometimes I go an aisle ahead and bring items back to the cart to make it go faster. So why the family of I dunno, five, six, seven? along with the main cart plus the kiddy cart feels the need to stretch out along the fresh fish display so that no one else waiting can see anything gets me surly. I have children, so I understand the need to keep children occupied and entertained, but by the time you have more than one, up your crowd control game people.

Hey guys we're back to having chicks here

[WhatTheBuck 28696]

What chick moves through the grocery store faster than her husband?

[NorthLoop 14044]

15 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

What chick moves through the grocery store faster than her husband?

Yeah that one's definitely bullshit. 

[Mrs Whiggins 13049]

When it is the "big" meal planning trip, I try to be efficient. When the youngest one is out of the house and we are retired, then perhaps we will turn it into air conditioned entertainment but for now, I have other things I'd rather be doing than walking up and down the aisles looking for wing sauce.

[Jack Straw 2953]

On 7/19/2019 at 4:01 PM, Underdog said:

Plus, sometimes you see kids and poors scooping up all the souvenir cups to take home. 

that’s alway been amazing to me.  i mean, that seems about as safe for your health as shitting on a public toilet.  as in, why not just sign up for AIDS level not very safe.  

[Guest Lobo]

14 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Please think of the trees before printing this email

This.  Because everyone I know that has that on their email footer drives a Tahoe.  

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

5 minutes ago, Lobo said:

This.  Because everyone I know that has that on their email footer drives a Tahoe.  

How else are ya gonna get out to where the trees are ??!!

[DougO 5238]

On 7/20/2019 at 10:36 AM, elfenix said:

no idea how they confused a doritos taco for a chicken roll with mayo sauce last night, but they did.  that roll was fucking disgusting.

Taco Bell food seems better than it was a decade or so ago when it was shitty. But the few times I've gone there for food in the past year I'm like the only guy in the place, there are 9 employees in the kitchen but they still take forever just to slap together a few simple tacos.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1979 or 80', A Friday or Saturday night in HS. We're out partying, drinking, etc.  We decide we need some food.  We roll into a Taco Bell. I'd Never eaten there before.

We order, and the guy behind the counter starts ladling some brown, soupy shit into a soft tortilla. I ask what's that, he says that's the burrito you ordered.  I say no thanks, and walk out. I've never been back.

Edited July 21, 2019 by Onboard 2.0

[Nice Guy Eddie 13387]

On 7/20/2019 at 5:33 PM, 52-80 said:

uber cant make a nice compact clean 1 page receipt but its 3-4, and when you print directly from gmail its all super fucked up and gigantic and sometimes dont show up at all

Save the receipt from the app that has all the info visible on the screen.

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

13 hours ago, Jack Straw said:

that’s alway been amazing to me.  i mean, that seems about as safe for your health as shitting on a public toilet.  as in, why not just sign up for AIDS level not very safe.  

A good run through the dishwasher on hot and they're good to go.  Also, you can't get AIDS from a public toilet.  You get AIDS from San Francisco.  Certain parts give you Super-AIDS.

[deadshank 24646]

That one fly that refuses to get killed or shoo out of your vehicle on a long road trip.   

[TrashMaster G 17324]

People who say "Waterburger"

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

any woman that insincerely self-deprecates herself as "an asshole" when what she means is "I'm an unpleasant bitch" but who would fucking flip her tits if she were referred to as such

Edited July 22, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[Guest Lobo]

39 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

People who say "Waterburger"

I said "Waterburger" a few times when visiting Texas and enjoying their burgers.  But I was 6.  Adults say it all the time.  But they probably say all kinds of dumb shit like, 

"Irregardless of where you want to eat today Karen, for all intensive purposes, you'll probably still pick Waterburger."  

[Mrs Whiggins 13049]

Thank you for the edit; if she had "a**holes" her problems might be larger than being a b*tch. (was it b*tchy of me to point that out?)

 

In my own experience, I tend to think of them as similar but gender and intent play a role. Either way, not pleasant to be around.

[Pogo 284]

54 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

any woman that insincerely self-deprecates herself as "an asshole" when what she means is "I'm an unpleasant bitch" but who would fucking flip her tits if she were referred to as such

In my house, the standard response to this kind of self-deprecation is, "That's not why you're an asshole."  I forget which one of us said it first, but it's become a running joke.

 

Edited July 22, 2019 by Pogo

[clapclapclap 9000]

When did Kroger turn into Ripoff City?  Everything I priced today was more expensive than HEB, and some even worse than Randalls.  I could understand if it was just HEB undercutting them, but a lot of the stuff has seen a sizeable price increase.  Those damn brownie squares that were $4 a couple of years ago are now $7.  To hell with that.  Not going to waste time going in there anymore, and it's not like they had anything special that you couldn't get anywhere else.  

We need a trustbuster to run for Prez.

[Hanrahan 1306]

This has got to be on here already but the cunts who go through the drive thru and order food for 8-10 people.

[elfenix 34161]

This has got to be on here already but the cunts who go through the drive thru and order food for 8-10 people.

"can you ring each up separately?"

[pops 6970]

56 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

This has got to be on here already but the cunts who go through the drive thru and order food for 8-10 people.

Best part is when they wait at the window and go through all the bags while god and country is lined up behind them. Get the fuck out of the way. I promise you can still go inside and get that apple pie they forgot to put in one of your 30 sacks. 

[TornACL 7666]

 

1 hour ago, Hanrahan said:

This has got to be on here already but the cunts who go through the drive thru and order food for 8-10 people.

It should not take you longer than 30-45 seconds to place a drive thru order or to complete an ATM transaction. Anything more than that, and I am wishing a century of pestilence upon your future generations.

[Rougarou 594]

Counterpoint: If you are ordering food for 2 or more, from anywhere not named Chick-Fil-A, there is an 80% that something, somewhere in your order is wrong. The lesson here really is that you shouldn't eat anywhere that has a drive-thru unless it's Chick-Fil-A.

*Edit to add sacrilege, I include Whataburger in that too. Always screwing up in the drive-thru. And another thing I've actively witnessed and think is super unfortunate, the quality of worker and customer service has gone to McDonald's level the last few years.

Edited July 22, 2019 by Rougarou

[Jack Straw 2953]

19 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

  Also, you can't get AIDS from a public toilet.

are you ... sure about that?   that doesn't sound right, at all.

 

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

24 minutes ago, Jack Straw said:

are you ... sure about that?   that doesn't sound right, at all.

 

he is wrong, if you have unprotected sex with a public toilet, you can absolutely get AIDS, but that's obviously much more likely if it's a homosexual toilet

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

If I were you, I’d just go with unprotected oral sex with a toilet.  As long as it is consenting, and is an American Standard.  When you do a toilet, you go American.

 

...that was foul, I apologize.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

13 minutes ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

If I were you, I’d just go with unprotected oral sex with a toilet.  As long as it is consenting, and is an American Standard.  When you do a toilet, you go American.

 

...that was foul, I apologize.

I'm partial to those Toto toilets myself.  Sex, and a good cleaning up afterwards.

[Mrs Whiggins 13049]

1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I'm partial to those Toto toilets myself.  Sex, and a good cleaning up afterwards.

Toto? Why would you do that to a poor little dog?

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1 minute ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Toto? Why would you do that to a poor little dog?

Well I guess we're not in Kansas anymore.. obligatory of course....

[Mrs Whiggins 13049]

I'm keeping this quiet. Danny Goeb doesn't need any more bathroom ammo.

[Archer 474]

7 hours ago, TornACL said:

 

It should not take you longer than 30-45 seconds to complete an ATM transaction. 

7 hours and no one has made an ATM mom joke. This place is slipping. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21780]

That’s because nobody wants to admit that they only last 30-45 seconds when your mom goes ATM

[El Diablo 4232]

3 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

Eh.. used to be that way, her service levels have really been in the toilet lately.

It's like she doesn't even want to be there.

In Germany you pay extra for that.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

20 hours ago, pops said:

Best part is when they wait at the window and go through all the bags while god and country is lined up behind them. Get the fuck out of the way. I promise you can still go inside and get that apple pie they forgot to put in one of your 30 sacks. 

This reminds me that I get annoyed at people who take up one of the scarce non-gas pump spaces at convenience stores, and sit there for 30 minutes with their car running doing whatever.  Go park on a street somewhere and fuck off.

[Storm the Field 5267]

I do most of the grocery shopping in our house, and usually end up going probably 4 times a week for quick trips on lunch break or way home in the evening. Thing I've noticed lately that make me surly:

There's almost always someone posted at each exit/entry door, trying to either get you to buy something, donate to their charity, or subscribe to their service. 

Head over to the beer and wine section and there will be a rep from every local brewery/distributor with unsolicited suggestions and samples. Spend more than one second deciding what you want and they'll be sure to tell you to grab some of whatever they are hawking.

And oh yeah, we don't stock the shelves at night anymore, just gonna go ahead and do that while the store is full of shoppers. Need to grab something off that shelf? Sorry, there's a pallet jack with 800 lbs of crap on it parked there.Throw in personal shoppers and half the traffic in the aisles is just store employees.

Finally, I'm more and more convinced that a fairly large portion, possibility even a majority of the citizenry, functions at the bare minimum level necessary to get through each day. Bewildered elderly wandering the aisles with no discernible goal. Morbidly obese mothers of 5+ filling their carts with pallets of ramen....etc.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

1 minute ago, Storm the Field said:

I do most of the grocery shopping in our house, and usually end up going probably 4 times a week for quick trips on lunch break or way home in the evening. Thing I've noticed lately that make me surly:

There's almost always someone posted at each exit/entry door, trying to either get you to buy something, donate to their charity, or subscribe to their service. 

Head over to the beer and wine section and there will be a rep from every local brewery/distributor with unsolicited suggestions and samples. Spend more than one second deciding what you want and they'll be sure to tell you to grab some of whatever they are hawking.

And oh yeah, we don't stock the shelves at night anymore, just gonna go ahead and do that while the store is full of shoppers. Need to grab something off that shelf? Sorry, there's a pallet jack with 800 lbs of crap on it parked there.Throw in personal shoppers and half the traffic in the aisles is just store employees.

Finally, I'm more and more convinced that a fairly large portion, possibility even a majority of the citizenry, functions at the bare minimum level necessary to get through each day. Bewildered elderly wandering the aisles with no discernible goal. Morbidly obese mothers of 5+ filling their carts with pallets of ramen....etc.

Ya could have saved a lot of words by just saying, I hate people.  I do feel yer pain though.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

1 minute ago, Storm the Field said:

And oh yeah, we don't stock the shelves at night anymore, just gonna go ahead and do that while the store is full of shoppers. Need to grab something off that shelf? Sorry, there's a pallet jack with 800 lbs of crap on it parked there.Throw in personal shoppers and half the traffic in the aisles is just store employees.

doesn't seem to be any set schedule for this either-- I have seen it at 8 AM on a Monday, I have seen it late afternoon on the weekend, etc. I would try to avoid it if I knew when the fuck it was going to be (happen)

[Pogo 284]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

This reminds me that I get annoyed at people who take up one of the scarce non-gas pump spaces at convenience stores, and sit there for 30 minutes with their car running doing whatever.  Go park on a street somewhere and fuck off.

The opposite has happened to me so fucking many times at the Czech Stop.  People get gas and leave their car blocking the pump for the next 20 minutes while they're inside.  No more thinking I can kill 2 birds.  I won't leave home without a full tank anymore.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11771]

36 minutes ago, Pogo said:

The opposite has happened to me so fucking many times at the Czech Stop.  People get gas and leave their car blocking the pump for the next 20 minutes while they're inside.  No more thinking I can kill 2 birds.  I won't leave home without a full tank anymore.

Yeah, that ties in.  See, I'll get gas, and then if I need to go into the store, I'll move away from the pumps and park in a regular spot.  Except there aren't any, because Joe blow is sitting there browsing on his phone, scratching off lotto tickets, taking a nap or whatever the fuck it is he's doing.  Stop impeding commerce!!

[HRSchenker 2248]

My first pharmacy job was at a grocery store. One time during football season I was working a Sunday and saw a woman who pissed herself walking around the entire store leaving yellow puddles everywhere, a kid pulled down his pants and shit all over the floor, a guy in a motorized scooter ran over the shit and dragged it across the entire store, some teenagers were tossing wine bottles back and forth to each other over the aisles, and Terry Glenn came over to the pharmacy and took some pictures with me and my techs. The only reason I remember that is because he died later that night in a rollover accident.