Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:

When I walking in the tunnels in Houston and a herd of people in front of me are slow as fuck AND fan out to take up the whole tunnel so I can’t pass. Get the fuck out of the way.

One word: Tazer.

[Iceman 2,715]

1 hour ago, El Diablo said:

What's your ask? Hahahaha... holy fuck.

Yes, that's what those motherfuckers call a "question" or "favor."

Edited August 28, 2019 by Iceman

[El Diablo 4,232]

15 minutes ago, Iceman said:

well, you know it's a shit sandwich.  Just get to the fucking point...

Maybe, just maybe, it's their way of punishing you because in the words of Dr. Lexus "uh, you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded".  

Just messin' with ya. 

[Js1 85,353]

16 hours ago, TornACL said:

For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

I had a coworker who would do this.  

He would walk by my office on this way to his office in the morning.  Not say a word.  10 minutes later -

*ding*

"Good morning, JS1."

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, Js1 said:

I had a coworker who would do this.  

He would walk by my office on this way to his office in the morning.  Not say a word.  10 minutes later -

*ding*

"Good morning, JS1."

Maybe he just couldn't stand your odor.

[El Diablo 4,232]

4 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Maybe he just couldn't stand your odor.

Rougned? Can't nobody stand that useless mf'er. 

[EMAWesome 101]

On 8/22/2019 at 4:26 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Shit, in our neighborhood, you'd get beaten up by the other Kids if you admitted to watching any of those. 62 kid here.

 

 

 

[EMAWesome 101]

On 8/12/2019 at 5:42 PM, elfenix said:

unlike most computer keyboards with the F keys in 3 groups of 4 keys, my wireless keyboard has 4 groups of 3 keys, and i constantly hit F4 instead of F5 because of it. 

So you constantly F yourself?

[EMAWesome 101]

T-shirts that have all the washing and care info built into the back of the shirt where tags used to be but also have a little quarter inch by quarter inch loop tag on the other side that serves no purpose whatsoever other than to make you think you have the shirt on inside out when you actually have it on right side out.

[Cousin Strawberry 1,261]

On 8/24/2019 at 4:59 PM, Okie State said:

Been said a thousand times, but people who litter. Saw some guy finish a drink and throw the bottle down the storm drain with no fucks given.

I know people who refer to gutters as “the trash.”

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, Cousin Strawberry said:

I know people who refer to gutters as “the trash.”

I know people I refer to as trash.

[ztejas 43,459]

On 8/27/2019 at 5:15 PM, TornACL said:

For those of you with any kind of intraoffice instant messaging...

When people message you as follows.

 

Them: Good afternoon.

Me: Hey.

Them: How are you?

 

Look, dude, I know you need something. Get to the fucking point. It's messenger, we don't need to small talk. Just ask me whatever you need to ask me. 

 

You work with my mom?

 

[Okie State 3,821]

2 hours ago, Cousin Strawberry said:

I know people who refer to gutters as “the trash.”

Well this was a crazy downtown streetwalker. So they're in good company.

[HOOKEM4 5,037]

16 hours ago, Cousin Strawberry said:

I know people who refer to gutters as “the trash.”

It is pretty ridiculous. I cant believe people would throw shit down the drain. It it 2019 and everyone should know by now that gutters are where you pour your used oil. JFC.

[Js1 85,353]

18 hours ago, ztejas said:

You work with my mom?

 

Yeah, lotta late nights, after hours, off the clock kinda thing tho. 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

On 8/27/2019 at 7:55 PM, Iceman said:

What’s your ask?

that you die in a fire for using that phrase

[Iceman 2,715]

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

that you die in a fire for using that phrase

  Reported. You hurt my feeling.

Edited August 30, 2019 by Iceman

[Incredulity 11,675]

news links behind a paywall.

[elfenix 34,266]

To reiterate something from a couple weeks ago, had a coupon for a mushroom swiss with purchase of a whatameal. The plan is to eat the mushroom swiss and save the other burger for later. To keep it from getting soggy, I get it without mustard.

 

"And I'll take the Whataburger with no mustard"

"You want mayo?"

"No."

 

Later, from the back:

"What's no mustard mean?"

"It means make it without mustard"

"He want mayo?"

"No."

 

 

 

Edit: order came out with 2 fries and no onion rings. Could have gone to Popeye's.

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

My son doesn't like anything on jis his burgers but meat and cheese.  I always tell them plain and dry.

Fixed for you simpletons. Older married son was an aggy.  This one goes to Stratford HS

Edited August 30, 2019 by NeverMarryAStripper

[Underdog 28,687]

jis burgers?  Hope I never end up there. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, Underdog said:

jis burgers?  Hope I never end up there. 

I just pretended I didn't read it.

[Player 4,575]

I think his kid is a student at aggy, so that may not be a typo. 

[SHOOTER12 8,810]

3 hours ago, Incredulity said:

news links behind a paywall.

Dammit this

[Iceman 2,715]

autoplay videos, but also the fucking sites who don't have a button to turn them off.

 

Fuck your bullshit interviews and hype/click horseshit.  If a story interests me, I'll fucking click on it.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

Not trivial at all. Fuck that shit.

[Jersey Man10 3,535]

Jesus christ YouTube is getting ridiculous with ads all the fucking time.

[Guest Lobo]

My daughter repeated something I’m saying Too often these days while waiting for a pop up ad to finish before her next paw patrol cartoon, “oh for shitsakes, another ad?”  My wife was not pleased, but I think at four years old, it’s good that begins to distrust the marketing machine that will barrage for every minute of her life.  

I used to like the Chive.  Good folks, fun content, gives to my charity.  But they can’t get through a fucking :30 video without two minutes of ads.  And you can’t move through their mobile site without literally 50% of the screen occupied by ads.  I’m not using their shitty app.  It used to be a fun break for a few minutes on your phone while out and about but it’s worthless now. I take a few minutes in the morning to look at something funny or some hot ass, and I’m done with them across all platforms for the rest of the day.  

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

Hotel keys. No matter where I'm staying or whatever state its in, I'll misplace one of the two within 5 minutes of dropping off my luggage. It never fails, besides me I guess

[elfenix 34,266]

I thought Kroger's aisle of Halloween candy in August was egregious, Costco is selling huge Christmas trees already

[Underdog 28,687]

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Hotel keys. No matter where I'm staying or whatever state its in, I'll misplace one of the two within 5 minutes of dropping off my luggage. It never fails, besides me I guess

I bet your Johns hate that. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,783]

11 hours ago, elfenix said:

I thought Kroger's aisle of Halloween candy in August was egregious, Costco is selling huge Christmas trees already

Speaking of Halloween candy, it sucks that they don't sell bags of fun size Mr. Goodbars. You have to buy the assortment bags with a mix of other Hershey's candy bars. I don't want those. 

[elfenix 34,266]

mr goodbar is on the list of seriously underrated candy

[ERhine 1,894]

Speaking of Halloween candy, it sucks that they don't sell bags of fun size Mr. Goodbars. You have to buy the assortment bags with a mix of other Hershey's candy bars. I don't want those. 

Mr. Goodbars are as good as Krackels are bad.

[WhatTheBuck 28,783]

10 minutes ago, ERhine said:

 

Mr. Goodbars are as good as Krackels are bad.

 

And if I wanted those, I'd buy a whole bag of Nestle Crunch bars instead. 

[Guest Lobo]

I knew a New York socialite years ago, she’d wear a bra as a shirt.  She was the heiress to Mr. Goodbar candy fortune.  

[Prepuce of Doom 21,075]

There's a Mr. Goodbar-like candy bar made by Nestle that's only sold in Peru called Sublime that is out of this world. 

I've been looking for them on and off since spending a lot of time in Peru 20 years ago, and while Amazon finally offers them, they are about $30 or so for the smallest box. 

I don't really want that much delicious (and expensive) candy laying around, and part of me doesn't want to risk the possibility that they might not be as good as I remember, so I haven't pulled the trigger. 

But I'm tempted often. 

[GoPokes83 2,240]

Fucking Dish TV... First they drop HBO, and now as soon as College Football season starts they drop FS1. This is really going to cut into my B12 watching.

[PilotsError 2,287]

Did that just happen today?  I watched the Iowa St game yesterday on FS1.

[GoPokes83 2,240]

My bad, it’s Fox Sports Southwest.

[immortal13 4,059]

When my woman serves me a sandwich and chips with no pickle spear. Bitch, wtf is wrong with you?

[NorthLoop 14,210]

You guys are nuts. Goodbar is trash. Krackel 4 life.

[WhatTheBuck 28,783]

Peanuts >>> Rice Krispies

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

You guys are nuts. Goodbar is trash. Krackel 4 life.

The thread for unpopular (and wrong) opinions is that way ———->

Singapore has it exactly correct with regard to fucking cuntbag dick lickers who throw their nasty ass gum on the ground.

[Guest Lobo]

49 minutes ago, NorthLoop said:

You guys are nuts. Goodbar is trash. Krackel 4 life.

Krackel was what happened when some little whipper-snapper dropped in on his grandma unannounced back in the 1930's.

"Oh my, Billy and Susie are calling on me today.  Well, I'd better some candies together.  The soda fountain was closed and I haven't any hard candy or taffy.  Let's saunter over to the kitchen/bathroom in my tenement.  Why...I have this old box of rice that says 'Now with more Arsenic!', and let's see what else...Oh my...incontinence-grade dark chocolate from the Bodega down the street.  Well let's just mash this all together and bake them in my rusted out furnace."  

[After irth 1,243]

3 hours ago, Lobo said:

Krackel was what happened when some little whipper-snapper dropped in on his grandma unannounced back in the 1930's.

"Oh my, Billy and Susie are calling on me today.  Well, I'd better some candies together.  The soda fountain was closed and I haven't any hard candy or taffy.  Let's saunter over to the kitchen/bathroom in my tenement.  Why...I have this old box of rice that says 'Now with more Arsenic!', and let's see what else...Oh my...incontinence-grade dark chocolate from the Bodega down the street.  Well let's just mash this all together and bake them in my rusted out furnace."  

That is some very specific commentary right there. Well done!

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

On 8/30/2019 at 11:30 AM, Iceman said:

  Reported. You hurt my feeling.

I'm going to assume this was tongue in cheek even though I did get a vacation for it.

[Iceman 2,715]

2 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I'm going to assume this was tongue in cheek even though I did get a vacation for it.

It's a long running joke/ debate on here and TOS.   Derka was insisting that rep and comments didn't matter, so I purposefully made the DIAF comment and I took the same vacation to prove that evidently rep and rep comments mattered.

Welcome to the team...

[Fudge Nuggets 19,195]

On 8/30/2019 at 6:34 PM, Jersey Man10 said:

Jesus christ YouTube is getting ridiculous with ads all the fucking time.

My favorite is how they cover the entire screen with ads for similar videos for the last 30 seconds of the video you are watching. Yeah, there’s usually nothing important at the end of a video. 

[Moby Ric 2,058]

On 9/1/2019 at 10:05 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

The thread for unpopular (and wrong) opinions is that way ———->

Singapore has it exactly correct with regard to fucking cuntbag dick lickers who throw their nasty ass gum on the ground.

Holy shit don't even get me started on people spitting out gum.  Especially in a parking lot/spot where you get in and out of the car.  Fuckers should be shot.