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Just now, Trey3216 said:

Seems you don’t watch movies either 

evidently I missed that one.  Sorry for the smart ass reply then...

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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1 hour ago, Iceman said:

evidently I missed that one.  Sorry for the smart ass reply then...

The admission of that severe character flaw indicator should get you crowd source banned.

10 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

The admission of that severe character flaw indicator should get you crowd source banned.

he didn't have any flair on there...

 

You're right.  I should not have missed that reference.

Edited by Iceman

3 minutes ago, Iceman said:

he didn't have any flair on there...

 

You're right.  I should not have missed that reference.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step to a cure.

  • Author

Radio commentators who don't mention the score. I just got in the car and dude talked and talked and talked coming back from break without mentioning the score.

the inability of the vast majority, bordering on the entirety, of the LSU and Ohio State fanbases to understand what the basis is for calling Texas "DBU"

like I don't mind fans saying "NUH UH, WE'RE DBU NOT YOU" because that's normal shit talking but god fucking damnit if I have to hear another motherfucker say "DURRRR Joe Burrow threw for 471 yards DBU HURRRRRRR" I'm going to have to find that person and choke them out. 

Meeting organizer: "OK, I think that's it, that's everything on the agenda. Let's do a roundtable real quick. Schmucko, anything you want to bring up?"

Schmucko: "No."

Meeting organizer: "Dipshit, you got anything?"

Dipshit: "No."

Meeting organizer: "Assmaster, anything from you?"

Assmaster: "No."

Meeting organizer: "OK, then I think we're done here and we can wrap up.... um, one other thing I wanted to bring up...."

FUCK YOU YOUR MEETING IS OVER MOTHERFUCKER

I’m eating small pieces of bread now to reduce carb intake. When I put them in the toaster, I can’t get them out because they are too small. I have to turn over the toaster every time, releasing crumbs all over the countertop. I can’t live this way. I won’t live this way.

9 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Toast regular sized pieces, cut off the piece that you want, throw the rest away.

#lifehacks!

Toast regular sized pieces, cut off the piece that you want, throw the rest away.


3d4491f40da56b5909e7daaf339d58e9.jpg
3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Meeting overtime should be illegal. 

One overtime is okay I think if the meeting ends in a tie and you need some way to determine a winner. The shit of 4 and 5 meeting overtimes is horse cock.

15 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

One overtime is okay I think if the meeting ends in a tie and you need some way to determine a winner. The shit of 4 and 5 meeting overtimes is horse cock.

Penalty shootout after the first overtime.

"Why don't we take this conversation off-line?"  

We are off-line you fucking asshole.  When you're in person, face-to-face with people...that's off-line.  That's the fucking term.  That's why we have it.  Every fucking business meeting is another continuation of Kenny Bania telling Jerry after the soup, they should go out for dinner.  This is it Bania, the soup is the meal!  This is the fucking off-line meeting.  Take your fucked up head, chance into your vineyard vines outfit, get into your Tahoe, grab your sticks, go play a round at your club, head home to your shitty family, and leave us the fuck alone.  Some of us don't live to listen to your drivel.  

Gott in himmel I'm glad I don't have to do the corporate thing. I'd be unemployed.

"One more thing/question" drives me fucking crazy.  There was a sales assistant at my last job that was so bad about it I nicknamed her Columbo.

On 9/4/2019 at 7:48 PM, Continental Op said:

2.  People who use the stupid cry-laughing emoji thing all the time for shit that really isn't that funny. 

this one?

texascbmeme.jpg

Having to take a piss when you are out and wearing flip flops....

8 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

how old was that little bitch?

You're gonna get negged to bolivian. 

9 minutes ago, Loco said:

Having to take a piss when you are out and wearing flip flops....

It must suck having the old man piss dribbles.

Just now, davidg said:

It must suck having the old man piss dribbles.

or firehose pressure...  nevermind the puddles in front of the urinals

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Penalty shootout after the first overtime.

Set a time limit. If it's not over then, it's a tie. Sometimes there are no winners, no need to keep dragging it out. See the Divorce Stuff thread elsewhere if you're not sure about this.

50 minutes ago, Loco said:

Having to take a piss when you are out and wearing flip flops....

It's not great, but it really sucks when you're wearing flip-flops and the guys pissing on either side of you are wearing flip-flops.  And everyone has been hoisting a few beers.  And you're in a Malaysian holding cell.  

Edited by Lobo

3 hours ago, RollLeft said:

this one?

texascbmeme.jpg

Willing to bet a good portion of adults were behaving the same way. 

Toast regular sized pieces, cut off the piece that you want, throw the rest away.

Toaster oven. Pieces lay horizontal. Size doesn’t matter.
25 minutes ago, GottaB said:


Toaster oven. Pieces lay horizontal. Size doesn’t matter.

keep telling yourself that season 4 GIF by Blindspot

On 9/7/2019 at 6:12 PM, elfenix said:

Radio commentators who don't mention the score. I just got in the car and dude talked and talked and talked coming back from break without mentioning the score.

Yeah, fuck that guy

1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Warm fountain water inside a building.

Definitely piss

Radio commentators who don't mention the score. I just got in the car and dude talked and talked and talked coming back from break without mentioning the score.

Any TV sports broadcast that does not continuously display the score and situation on the screen when not at commercial. That includes camera angles showing booth discussions between three guys I don’t give a shit about.

I should be able to glance at the screen and know what’s happening.
11 hours ago, deadshank said:

Definitely piss

Yeah, I doubt warm piss is any better

18 minutes ago, GottaB said:


Any TV sports broadcast that does not continuously display the score and situation on the screen when not at commercial. That includes camera angles showing booth discussions between three guys I don’t give a shit about.

I should be able to glance at the screen and know what’s happening.

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

Same.

ESPN did similar last night and removed it after half time. 

7 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

ABC has started using a florescent yellow graphic in the lower right corner to promote their upcoming shows. Fuck me if I didn't think it was a "flag" thrown on the play about a dozen times this weekend.

The "Breaking News" thing that pops up on the crawl is yellow too, I thought there was a flag but instead, it was "Antonio Brown released & signed w/Patriots". WTF, use red & white or something.

  • Author

there's a spot on my commute home where the speed limit increases from 35 to 50.  no one seems to notice.  most motherfuckers don't start going 50 until the next sign a half mile on down. 

30 minutes ago, elfenix said:

there's a spot on my commute home where the speed limit increases from 35 to 50.  no one seems to notice.  most motherfuckers don't start going 50 until the next sign a half mile on down. 

Where they speed up must be where the school zone starts

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

there's a spot on my commute home where the speed limit increases from 35 to 50.  no one seems to notice.  most motherfuckers don't start going 50 until the next sign a half mile on down. 

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

36 minutes ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

I hate you

When I'm inputting a code to redeem a movie or some shit and I can't tell if it's an 0 or an O.

  • Author
2 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When I'm inputting a code to redeem a movie or some shit and I can't tell if it's an 0 or an O.

i'm having flashbacks to nintendo passcodes

50 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

When I'm inputting a code to redeem a movie or some shit and I can't tell if it's an 0 or an O.

Holy shit, that is really starting to drive my crazy.  Seemed like for years they'd use the slash through the 0 to make it easier to decipher from the letter "O."

Also, what the fuck with people saying "Oh" when reciting numbers.  O is a letter, the word you're looking for is "Zero."  

6 hours ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

Jeebus you're quite the fuckstick.

8 hours ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

Seriously, go fuck yourself, cunt. 

When I'm inputting a code to redeem a movie or some shit and I can't tell if it's an 0 or an O.

Same with 1 and l with some fonts.

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