Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

"Stan" used as anything but an abbreviation for "Stanley." 

[Moby Ric 2,058]

While the Kings Hawaiian hamburger buns taste great, they are smaller than regular hamburger buns.  

[Guest Lobo]

7 hours ago, justhookit said:

8675309 would like a word with you

Well to be fair to the great Tommy Tutone,  had they used the poly-syllabic "Ze-Ro", it wouldn't have worked with that melody.  They had to just go with "Oh"   

Also, Tommy Tutone joins the likes of Jethro Tull, Langhorne Slim, and many others who are often confused as the name of somebody in the band.  But that mixup worked well for Fleetwood Mac, which really were people in the band.  But the Bee-Gees naming makes me surly. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

4 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Well to be fair to the great Tommy Tutone,  had they used the poly-syllabic "Ze-Ro", it wouldn't have worked with that melody.  They had to just go with "Oh"   

Also, Tommy Tutone joins the likes of Jethro Tull, Langhorne Slim, and many others who are often confused as the name of somebody in the band.  But that mixup worked well for Fleetwood Mac, which really were people in the band.  But the Bee-Gees naming makes me surly. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

17 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

While the Kings Hawaiian hamburger buns taste great, they are smaller than regular hamburger buns.  

That's so your meat looks bigger

[Guest Lobo]

Well his mom is from Hawaii

[Braff Zacklin 13,664]

On 9/9/2019 at 1:34 PM, Loco said:

Having to take a piss when you are out and wearing flip flops....

 

If your pipe's too short

Or your pump's too weak,

Stand close to the toilet

Or you'll piss on your feet.

 

[El Diablo 4,232]

Waking up and seeing that the temperature outside is 72 and then walking outside and finding that the humidity is higher than the temperature.

[shakahorn 1,645]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Well to be fair to the great Tommy Tutone,  had they used the poly-syllabic "Ze-Ro", it wouldn't have worked with that melody.  They had to just go with "Oh"   

Also, Tommy Tutone joins the likes of Jethro Tull, Langhorne Slim, and many others who are often confused as the name of somebody in the band.  But that mixup worked well for Fleetwood Mac, which really were people in the band.  But the Bee-Gees naming makes me surly. 

Which one's Pink?

[Braff Zacklin 13,664]

10 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

Which one's Pink?

They're all pink on the inside, brah.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

4 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

We're all pink on the inside, brah.

Cause accuracy.

[Al_4_ISU 12,485]

13 hours ago, Stormandy said:

I used to be the one trying to bump draft the slow people to speed up. Now I just say screw it and slowly speed up and then cruise just below the speed limit. I enjoy getting people's pressure up. If it causes you to be late. Leave earlier the next itme. Also get off my lawn.

I guess the assholes who do this shit know exactly what they're doing.

I wish you a lifetime of tardiness.

[You don't know me 1,161]

I pulled into the QT parking log this morning and on the ground there are probably a few dozen cigarette butts.  Some jackass just dumped his ashtray there.

[Js1 85,577]

Building services people put the tp on the holder wrong. Surly about Having to fix it 

[Trey3216 15,356]

6 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

While the Kings Hawaiian hamburger buns taste great, they are smaller than regular hamburger buns.  

[Scheiss Meister 8,411]

9 hours ago, shakahorn said:

Which one's Pink?

You're gonna go far.

[Doze 1,322]

At those restaurants that you walk in and order, then sit and wait for your food......the credit card terminal ask you for a tip when you order.

I think they kinda miss the whole point of tipping.  It's just "give me more money" at this point.  Can you get a refund if you get poor service?

 

[WhatTheBuck 28,798]

7 hours ago, Js1 said:

Building services people put the tp on the holder wrong. Surly about Having to fix it 

Just the tip?

20 minutes ago, Doze said:

At those restaurants that you walk in and order, then sit and wait for your food......the credit card terminal ask you for a tip when you order.

I think they kinda miss the whole point of tipping.  It's just "give me more money" at this point.  Can you get a refund if you get poor service?

Just don't tip. 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

There is literally no such thing as an URGENT EMAIL that isn't accompanied by a phone call. No such thing. You might have THOUGHT your email was urgent, and it might have been super important to you, but if it wasn't important enough to warrant a phone call, I guarantee you, it's not that important. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

12 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

There is literally no such thing as an URGENT EMAIL that isn't accompanied by a phone call. No such thing. You might have THOUGHT your email was urgent, and it might have been super important to you, but if it wasn't important enough to warrant a phone call, I guarantee you, it's not that important. 

Better yet, just call me if it's that important. Why do both?

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

6 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Better yet, just call me if it's that important. Why do both?

well, lots and lots and lots of people can be copied on an email so you can make everyone aware of how URGENT it is and the primary recipient can then get inquiries not just from you but all kinds of people with too little to do, and they can chime in to show how attentive and concerned they are

[Iceman 2,725]

Just now, SwanderedTalent said:

well, lots and lots and lots of people can be copied on an email so you can make everyone aware of how URGENT it is and the primary recipient can then get inquiries not just from you but all kinds of people with too little to do, and they can chime in to show how attentive and concerned they are

Reply all is a great way to end that shit.  Just put em on blast, especially if their ‘inquiry’ is trivial or idiotic.

Disclaimer: use it sparingly, only to expose them being worthless or a pain in the ass.  People probably know any way.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

Having to pick your nose immediately after clipping your fingernails. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

Speaking of clipping your fingernails, what is it with guys who don't?  I have to really get on my teenage son to clip his.  If I didn't he would just let them keep growing.  I find that disgusting, but it seems that I see it a lot.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

11 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Speaking of clipping your fingernails, what is it with guys who don't?  I have to really get on my teenage son to clip his.  If I didn't he would just let them keep growing.  I find that disgusting, but it seems that I see it a lot.

That's why God gave man teeth......

[Mach 1 1,677]

Packaging.  Modern day fucking packaging.

Why does something as innocuous as a pencil sharpener have to be vacuum sealed in military grade plastic?  I swear to god that shit can stop a bullet.  And the only way to get into it is by blowtorch or German shears.  Since no blowtorch is handy I use the shears, which of course causes the plastic edges to turn into razor blades.  Being vacuum packed the thing won't pop out so you have to dig in to get it and voila, you've sliced open your hand.

Next up is the band aid.  If we can put a man on the moon can't those motherfuckers at band aid make it a little easier to get at it, especially since 99% of the people needing a band aid are bleeding like a slasher film?  Nope, it's a two hand job regardless if one hand is wrapped in paper towels.  So get resourceful and use the teeth, which works half the time, the other half the band aid gets all twisted and useless. 

Next up bar soap.  You evil motherfuckers, whoever you are that package this shit.  You're already in the shower, wet, when you notice the soap is missing.  Okay fine, get out, open cabinet, get soap, return to shower.  Except the bar soap is wrapped in slick paper that defies any attempt at wet hands trying to get a grip.  No rough edges, everything sealed tight like Fort fucking Knox.  So again, revert to the use of teeth just to get at a bar of goddamn soap.

DIAF you packaging fucks.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

27 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

Why does something as innocuous as a pencil sharpener have to be vacuum sealed in military grade plastic?  

China is a long way away.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

Yes, and they don't want any of that toxic shit their stuff is made of leaking out before it gets over here

['stache 21,867]

Whenever I start training for a big run or cycling event I change my diet to mostly whole grains and lots of raw fruits and vegetables. Whenever I make this change, Montezuma gets mad. High pressure lava hot molten liquid shit for at least three days, and a dozen toilet visits a day to avoid shitting my pants. I though this is how we’re supposed to eat? Why are you punishing me for good choices?

[Fudbelty 2,789]

Whenever I start training for a big run or cycling event I change my diet to mostly whole grains and lots of raw fruits and vegetables. Whenever I make this change, Montezuma gets mad. High pressure lava hot molten liquid shit for at least three days, and a dozen toilet visits a day to avoid shitting my pants. I though this is how we’re supposed to eat? Why are you punishing me for good choices?

See you in the Shart thread of 2019

[Doze 1,322]

5 hours ago, 'stache said:

Whenever I start training for a big run or cycling event I change my diet to mostly whole grains and lots of raw fruits and vegetables. Whenever I make this change, Montezuma gets mad. High pressure lava hot molten liquid shit for at least three days, and a dozen toilet visits a day to avoid shitting my pants. I though this is how we’re supposed to eat? Why are you punishing me for good choices?

Our bodies were not developed eating grains, Humans evolved as hunter/gatherers not farmers.  That's why you shit yourself when you eat grains.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,103]

Mony Mony. 

Yeah. 

[General Specific 3,270]

Our bodies were not developed eating grains, Humans evolved as hunter/gatherers not farmers.  That's why you shit yourself when you eat grains.

Is this a pick-em? If I scratch vegetables on the top, can choose alcohol on the bottom, you know, like algebra? What you do to one side, balance, yin&yang?

Asking for a friend...

[Iceman 2,725]

On 9/12/2019 at 8:02 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

There is literally no such thing as an URGENT EMAIL that isn't accompanied by a phone call. No such thing. You might have THOUGHT your email was urgent, and it might have been super important to you, but if it wasn't important enough to warrant a phone call, I guarantee you, it's not that important. 

Meh.

i don't have time to call 22 people to get them to get a task done. Lumburgh ain't swinging by the cubicle to hold your hand.

 

Just fucking do it, Bo...

 

Oh...and you can ignore it at your own peril.  You ain't gonna like how it ends.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

12 hours ago, Iceman said:

i don't have time to call 22 people to get them to get a task done.

No shit, dumbass, in the email in question, the call to action was to one person. Thus, my point about calling that one person to ask the task be done.

 

12 hours ago, Iceman said:

Oh...and you can ignore it at your own peril.  You ain't gonna like how it ends.

Jesus, you could have written the email in question based on your fucking dumbass understanding of how these things work. No one is ignoring anything. If it's urgent, pick up the fucking phone, Milton. 

Edited September 14, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

On 9/13/2019 at 8:18 AM, Iceman said:

Reply all is a great way to end that shit.  Just put em on blast, especially if their ‘inquiry’ is trivial or idiotic.

That was the exact opposite of my point, so thanks again for confirming you're part of the problem.

[Iceman 2,725]

12 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

No shit, dumbass, in the email in question, the call to action was to one person. Thus, my point about calling that one person to ask the task be done.

 

Jesus, you could have written the email in question based on your fucking dumbass understanding of how these things work. No one is ignoring anything. If it's urgent, pick up the fucking phone, Milton. 

I'm not calling 22 people and burning 3 hours of my time.

 

People like you who can't fucking read are the reason we have to have mommy and daddy explain everything out on a gotdam conference call.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

20 minutes ago, Iceman said:

I'm not calling 22 people and burning 3 hours of my time.

YOU. DON'T. HAVE. TO. CALL. 22. PEOPLE. CALL THE ONE PERSON OF WHOM AN ACTION IS BEING ASKED and say "this is urgent, how quickly can I get a resolution?"

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

13 hours ago, Iceman said:

You ain't gonna like how it ends.

If I ever worked for a company that was so shitty as to not only employ you, but employ you in some kind of a position where you felt like you'd be able to somehow negatively impact me "liking how it ends", I would quit on the spot. 

The assumptions you're making about my first post are-- well, I'd say they're staggering, but then, this is the same dumb shit you do in every post you make, Slorch.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

26 minutes ago, Iceman said:

People like you who can't fucking read minds

guilty as charged

[Iceman 2,725]

3 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

If I ever worked for a company that was so shitty as to not only employ you, but employ you in some kind of a position where you felt like you'd be able to somehow negatively impact me "liking how it ends", I would quit on the spot. 

The assumptions you're making about my first post are-- well, I'd say they're staggering, but then, this is the same dumb shit you do in every post you make, Slorch.

Put me on ignore if it offends you so badly.

Do i need to call you first?

[Iceman 2,725]

8 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

YOU. DON'T. HAVE. TO. CALL. 22. PEOPLE. CALL THE ONE PERSON OF WHOM AN ACTION IS BEING ASKED and say "this is urgent, how quickly can I get a resolution?"

If I have 22 people in different locations, I am not calling every one of them.

Not everyone works in cubicle heaven...  Either respond to the email, follow its direction, or go work for yourself.  You're not going to get a personal call for every task and initiative we need to get done.

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

4 minutes ago, Iceman said:

Put me on ignore if it offends you so badly.

 

"What, I just misinterpreted everything you wrote and said you can't read and implied you're a millennial, GOSH, put me on ignore if you're so offended!"

Edited September 14, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

Just now, Iceman said:

If I have 22 people in different locations

Keep fucking that chicken, I think it's nearing orgasm. 

You are talking about a scenario I posted, but you're inserting your own minimum-wage shitkicker shenanigans into it. THERE AREN'T 22 PEOPLE WHO NEED TO DO ANYTHING IN THIS SCENARIO. THERE IS ONE. ONE PERSON. ONE.

[Iceman 2,725]

2 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

"What, I just misinterpreted everything you wrote and said you can't read and implied you're a millennial, GOSH, put me on ignore if I'm so wrong".

Here's the partners for the discussion you're looking to have...or not.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

5 minutes ago, Iceman said:

You're not going to get a personal call for every task and initiative we need to get done.

And this is the kicker-- yes, I am and do. Consistently, WHEN IT'S URGENT. Thus the non-Slorch frustration here when some idiot makes a mess of something that could have been solved with a phone call. Dashing off an email and saying after the fact that what you need is "urgent" is a terrible way to try to get it resolved quickly.

Edited September 14, 2019 by SwanderedTalent

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

1 minute ago, Iceman said:

Here's the partners for the discussion you're looking to have...or not.

GET IT? THEY'RE FENCEPOSTS! WOCKA WOCKA

[Iceman 2,725]

On 9/12/2019 at 8:02 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

There is literally no such thing as an URGENT EMAIL that isn't accompanied by a phone call. No such thing. You might have THOUGHT your email was urgent, and it might have been super important to you, but if it wasn't important enough to warrant a phone call, I guarantee you, it's not that important. 

Nowhere in the post did you specify that it was only to you.

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

1 minute ago, Iceman said:

Nowhere in the post did you specify that it was only to you.

And who made the assumption that it was otherwise, so he could start lecturing us on how "y'better do what I want when I want it or dang, you ain't gon' like how it turns out!"

I'm not exactly covering myself in glory wasting my Saturday morning expressing my frustration on SUrly, but you come off as a complete idiot with the assumptions you're making.

[Iceman 2,725]

Just read the post, bro.  You wrote it.

Now you're bitching because I didn't add in any words...

Edited September 14, 2019 by Iceman