Jump to content

Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

After irth

After irth 1245

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, Tom said:

 

Shitload of debt?  Check!

Ability to work 16 hour shifts?  I can probably adapt.

Medical Degree?  Shit!  I'm out.

 

I know, right?  I like to cut people up and play with their insides as much as anyone, but...no one’s paying me to do that shit. 

The world today.....

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 19.3k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

Posted Images

NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21921

Posted
Posted

Days like today make me surly.  When the day started I was a happy guy looking forward to going to Austin tomorrow to watch the Horns kick some Okie Lite ass.  The only damper on my day was a slight lingering cough with some chest congestion.

So I decide to make a doctor appointment to get something to treat my cough/congestion before the weekend.  I leave work early and stop by my clinic.  When I get inside the exam room the nurse takes my temp and then my blood pressure.  I look at the little machine and it says my BP is 185/107.  Now I'm no doctor, but even I know that's no good.  The nurse go and fetches the doctor.  He gives me the old examination, makes me lie on the exam table for about 30 minutes, and then takes my BP again.  No change.  Now he tells me he can't let me leave with my BP that high.  He finally decides to give me some pill and makes me lie on the exam table for another 30 minutes.  He takes my BP again and finally decides it has come down enough that I can most likely drive home without killing someone.  I leave the clinic and get to my car and FUCK, some ass wipe has broken out my rear window and snatched my briefcase.  My briefcase just happened to have $1,200 in cash and my passport in it.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK .

So now here I am sitting at home a broken man on the verge of a stroke who is not even going to watch the game tomorrow because the Horns will probably get their ass kicked.  Anyway, I need to spend the day getting my window replaced and filling out forms to report my passport stolen and get it replaced.

That's what makes me surly.

Anybody want four tickets to the game tomorrow?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Days like today make me surly.  When the day started I was a happy guy looking forward to going to Austin tomorrow to watch the Horns kick some Okie Lite ass.  The only damper on my day was a slight lingering cough with some chest congestion.

So I decide to make a doctor appointment to get something to treat my cough/congestion before the weekend.  I leave work early and stop by my clinic.  When I get inside the exam room the nurse takes my temp and then my blood pressure.  I look at the little machine and it says my BP is 185/107.  Now I'm no doctor, but even I know that's no good.  The nurse go and fetches the doctor.  He gives me the old examination, makes me lie on the exam table for about 30 minutes, and then takes my BP again.  No change.  Now he tells me he can't let me leave with my BP that high.  He finally decides to give me some pill and makes me lie on the exam table for another 30 minutes.  He takes my BP again and finally decides it has come down enough that I can most likely drive home without killing someone.  I leave the clinic and get to my car and FUCK, some ass wipe has broken out my rear window and snatched my briefcase.  My briefcase just happened to have $1,200 in cash and my passport in it.  FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK .

So now here I am sitting at home a broken man on the verge of a stroke who is not even going to watch the game tomorrow because the Horns will probably get their ass kicked.  Anyway, I need to spend the day getting my window replaced and filling out forms to report my passport stolen and get it replaced.

That's what makes me surly.

Anybody want four tickets to the game tomorrow?

What country were you fleeing to w/ $1,200 ??

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Iceman

Iceman 2725

Posted
Posted
On 9/18/2019 at 3:41 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

  The problem is so many people consider pet ownership something very trivial.

There's a balance, for sure.

I love, love, love my two dogs and dogs have been a part of my household since my childhood. Pets are truly gifts in life and should be cherished for the trust they have in you.

That being said, the folks who humanize their dogs and say shit like, "Well i don't have kids but Fluffy is the same thing," need to reassess their evaluation of life.  No, bitch, it's still a fucking dog.  It's not a kid and and your ownership of the dog is nowhere remotely resembling being a parent.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
55 minutes ago, Iceman said:

There's a balance, for sure.

I love, love, love my two dogs and dogs have been a part of my household since my childhood. Pets are truly gifts in life and should be cherished for the trust they have in you.

That being said, the folks who humanize their dogs and say shit like, "Well i don't have kids but Fluffy is the same thing," need to reassess their evaluation of life.  No, bitch, it's still a fucking dog.  It's not a kid and and your ownership of the dog is nowhere remotely resembling being a parent.

No it isn't, but responsibility for another life is still there.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted (edited)

Commercials that should be directed at men that instead feel the need to show women enthusiastically and unrealistically acting like men. Scarfing chicken wings and chugging beer and yelling at a football game, yup, those are some things the average woman wants to spend her Saturdays doing. 

Edited by SwanderedTalent
Link to comment
Share on other sites
After irth

After irth 1245

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Commercials that should be directed at men that instead feel the need to show women enthusiastically and unrealistically acting like men. Scarfing chicken wings and chugging beer and yelling at a football game, yup, those are some things the average woman wants to spend her Saturdays doing. 

Some women overcompensate for their surging lesbian urges. 

Oh yeah, almost forgot:  You intolerant, sexist bastard!

Whew...that was close. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

Amazing what you can show in beer commercials from scantily clad women, to raging parties, to idiotic dialogue.  But you can't actually show someone drinking a beer.  They can hold the beer up to their mouth, but they can't actually take a sip.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Iceman

Iceman 2725

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

Commercials that should be directed at men that instead feel the need to show women enthusiastically and unrealistically acting like men. Scarfing chicken wings and chugging beer and yelling at a football game, yup, those are some things the average woman wants to spend her Saturdays doing. 

You mean overcompensating sports know-it-all female co-worker on Monday at the office who wouldn't know Fran Tarkenton from Coach Fran doesn't appeal to you?

Buying those wings and hanging out at B-dub's matters.

Edited by Iceman
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28798

Posted
Posted
On September 22, 2019 at 12:43 PM, Tom said:

The expectation of having to use chopsticks when you eat Asian food.  The west invented superior culinary technology.  Why do I have to pretend like I enjoy pinching my food with two oversized toothpicks whenever I want sushi?

You don't know how to use chopsticks. I suggest you either learn how to use chopsticks or get over your embarrassment about asking for a fork. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
VolenteHawk

VolenteHawk 495

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Always hated that shit.  Were you at 2 a days, in the weight room, on the field ?  Then you ain't us or we (college pride is forgiven).

Yeah, it doesn’t bother me for college teams when you attended the school, there is a legitimate connection there. Drives me insane with pro teams, though.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

You don't know how to use chopsticks. I suggest you either learn how to use chopsticks or get over your embarrassment about asking for a fork. 

That's not it at all, Buck. We're Americans. We need shovels and pitchforks for our food. Efficiency in eating is the hallmark of Western civilization. We've got the diebeetus banners hanging from the rafters to prove it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Iceman

Iceman 2725

Posted
Posted
44 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

Yeah, it doesn’t bother me for college teams when you attended the school, there is a legitimate connection there. Drives me insane with pro teams, though.

 

This.  If they are an alum, it makes sense.

If it's a pro team and they don't work for the club, the "we" and "us" shit has to go...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
Posted
38 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

That's not it at all, Buck. We're Americans. We need shovels and pitchforks for our food. Efficiency in eating is the hallmark of Western civilization. We've got the diebeetus banners hanging from the rafters to prove it.

Hey it was a western culture (The Romans for their orgies and feasts) that invented the vommitorium after all.....  We've been pro for over 2.5 millennia.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28798

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Disagree with College also.  Do you still say We and Us about your HS ? You’re not a part of the team, even if you played ball, you’re currently not a part of the team.  I was guilty as anyone for the longest time and then the wife began ragging me about it and I stopped. 

I never refer to my alma mater's sports teams in the first person. My older brother and I went to the same school. He later moved to Reno and found that season tickets to Nevada football games were dirt cheap so he bought them and started attending games. He started referring to the Wolf Pack football team as "we." I am embarrassed for him. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28798

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

I have never found anything I could not eat with a fork or a spoon.

Have you found pho? You could eat that with a fork and a spoon but you'd look pretty silly doing so. 

Could it be that, since you don't know how to use chopsticks, you're afraid of looking foolish if you try? So to save yourself from embarrassment you declare that chopsticks are for pretentious assholes? It's not that you can't use them, it's that you don't want to use them. Yeah, that's the ticket. 

Is that a possibility?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
'stache

'stache 21866

Posted
Posted (edited)

I don't have a problem with "we," "us," or "our" when referring to a sports team, college or pro. It's obviously a stronger bond in college when you are an alum, but pro teams also represent a city and becomes a source of pride for fans who live in that place or have some personal connection. If you attend the game you are one of 60K-100K all cheering the same good plays for the home team. Or if you are at a local bar where everyone is on the same side. There is an understandable "we" and "us" feeling about people with a common interest gathering and cheering for the same goals. What I really don't understand is people who just randomly pick a team they have no connection with and call them "us" or "we." When a lifelong Texan or Oklahoman decides that the Pats are their favorite team when they have no connection whatsoever it's just really odd to me that they can feel any real strong sense of fandom. Or the sooner idiots who are now Cleveland Browns fans because of one fucking asshole they drafted. That shit makes me surly as fuck. I'm rooting for Mason Rudolph and James Washington on the Steelers, but I'm not going to pretend to care much about the team. I want to see them both be productive and win some games, that's about it.

Edited by 'stache
  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4085

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Have you found pho? You could eat that with a fork and a spoon but you'd look pretty silly doing so. 

Could it be that, since you don't know how to use chopsticks, you're afraid of looking foolish if you try? So to save yourself from embarrassment you declare that chopsticks are for pretentious assholes? It's not that you can't use them, it's that you don't want to use them. Yeah, that's the ticket. 

Is that a possibility?

What is the point of using them?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...