Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,921]

1 hour ago, HouTex said:

This right here. Every email should include the sender’s phone number (office and cell) in a signature line.

I'm not giving my cell number to every dumbass that I have to send an email to.  I've had my cell number since cell phones were invented and I don't ever want to have to change it.  I don't even give it out to women I date.  They get my burner google voice number.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not giving my cell number to every dumbass that I have to send an email to.  I've had my cell number since cell phones were invented and I don't ever want to have to change it.  I don't even give it out to women I date.  They get my burner google voice number.

Typical serial killer move.

[Sam Lin 3,561]

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

With a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

In Comic Sans.

[markstanco 12,611]

people who send you an email saying to call them but don't provide their phone number in said email

Reply with "left you a VM"

[Snow Dog 128]

Beans in chili. Oh hai!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

14 hours ago, elfenix said:

i've never needed to go dig through my files to find a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

"One does not need to dig through files to find truth"

-Elfenix, Surly Philosopher 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"One does not need to dig through files to find truth"

-Elfenix, Surly Philosopher 

"Yeah, but ya gotta dig thru a lot of shit to find truth"

Onboard

[After irth 1,245]

19 hours ago, Iceman said:

People who use about 10’ of the turn lane, absolutely eliminating any utility whatsoever in said lane’s very construction... and straight fucking people over behind them.

Why do they have be straight?  Homophobe.

[High Plains Drifter 11,052]

 

On 11/6/2019 at 4:56 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

With a quote from an obscure philosopher. 

 

I think I may start doing this. Something along the lines of "y u no play D?"

[Knoxtnhorn 6,066]

I don't know.  Maybe I'm in the minority or missing something....

Scoop-shaped tortilla chips.  They F my gums up something fierce.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

12 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

I don't know.  Maybe I'm in the minority or missing something....

Scoop-shaped tortilla chips.  They F my gums up something fierce.

Put yer dentures in.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

3 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Put yer dentures in.

Funny, that's the opposite of what I say to your mom.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

45 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Funny, that's the opposite of what I say to your mom.

"Indenture your poot"...?

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,821]

Fortnite updates every 3 days. I suck, and my 1.5 year old son knows it. Usually it's routine that I'll play a round to conk him out while i hold him. Well, every other day it seems i have to go through the 30 min process to download, copy, install the update just so im able to play the stupid game. THEN he can sleep by watching my terrible play

[Bevo&Pevo 5,218]

Why doesn't the fruit/veggie marketers go to pull top lids on everything?  And while I'm bitchin', how about the potato chip makers use a ziplok top on their bags?  WTF?

[NorthLoop 14,248]

When people here feel the need to post "I told you guys 3 years ago that xxx was a bad coach and all yall negged me."

 

Nobody cares and nobody is impressed. 

[Brisketexan 105,337]

When people here feel the need to post "I told you guys 3 years ago that xxx was a bad coach and all yall negged me."
 
Nobody cares and nobody is impressed. 

I told you guys three years ago that NorthLoop was a shitty poster, and all y’all negged me.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,821]

When people here feel the need to post "I told you guys 3 years ago that xxx was a bad coach and all yall negged me."
 
Nobody cares and nobody is impressed. 

Its amazing how people actually try to validate their greatness with this. I wish i could neg them again for patting themselves on the back for "being right"

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,821]

I told you guys three years ago that NorthLoop was a shitty poster, and all y’all negged me.

We knew this 11 years ago so youre 8 years late

[gecko 1,104]

Hotel conditioner bottles where the conditioner won’t come out...

[nnm 36,640]

That’s not conditioner ...

[EMAWesome 101]

There are about 150,000 YouTube videos of people reacting to The Spirit of Radio by Rush.  In at least 149,997 of them the reactors call it Spirit of the Radio.  

[Druggist 303]

On 10/31/2019 at 11:43 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

Niacin flush.

Only slightly surlier about the existence of "flush free" niacin, because that version never actually gets in your system.

Try 325mg aspirin 30 min prior (Unless you have bleeding issues)

https://www.aafp.org/afp/1998/0415/p1933.html

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

6 hours ago, EMAWesome said:

There are about 150,000 YouTube videos of people reacting to The Spirit of Radio by Rush.  In at least 149,997 of them the reactors call it Spirit of the Radio.  

Yeah. It's a Teenage Wasteland out there in YouTube.

[clapclapclap 9,000]

People who drive below the speed limit in the no passing zones and then above the speed limit in the passing zones.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

That car length space in front of me is to prevent me from hitting the moron in front of me playing on his phone, it's not an invitation for you to squeeze your car in.

[Underdog 28,773]

MFers who tap their brakes every time another car approaches from opposite lane, I usually end up flashing my lights at them if they continue.  Also the brake tappers from the fucks who don't know how not to tailgate and let off the gas, flash at them as well. 

[EMAWesome 101]

MFers who tap their brakes at every intersection whether there is a car coming that way or not and whether they have the right of way or not.

[lateshow 1,307]

MFers who tap their brakes at an intersection when the light is green. 

[Underdog 28,773]

MFers

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

Mothers

[HouTex 1,894]

Not trivial, but MFers who run stop signs.  Twice in the last week I've had assholes run stop signs and had I been less alert I would have been seriously injured in the first instance and my car would have been totaled in the second.  The first guy just didn't see the stop sign and blew through it going around 40.  The second guy saw me coming, just ran the stop sign (I didn't have a stop sign) and just assumed I would jam my brakes and not hit him.  Sometimes it's wise to slowdown/tap brakes at intersections because of assholes.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

15 minutes ago, HouTex said:

Not trivial, but MFers who run stop signs.  Twice in the last week I've had assholes run stop signs and had I been less alert I would have been seriously injured in the first instance and my car would have been totaled in the second.  The first guy just didn't see the stop sign and blew through it going around 40.  The second guy saw me coming, just ran the stop sign (I didn't have a stop sign) and just assumed I would jam my brakes and not hit him.  Sometimes it's wise to slowdown/tap brakes at intersections because of assholes.

I watch every intersection I come to for the most part now because of that very reason. So I'm one of those MF'ers who tap their brakes at intersections, green light or not. If you're not riding my ass it shouldn't be an issue (cause I won't be driving slow in the fast lane anyway).

[TornACL 7,722]

You should be able to assess the situation upcoming at the intersection without braking unless you drive too fast or unless your brain works too slowly. 

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

1 hour ago, TornACL said:

You should be able to assess the situation upcoming at the intersection without braking unless you drive too fast or unless your brain works too slowly. 

Oh yeah? What if you're watching porn on your phone while you're driving?

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, TornACL said:

You should be able to assess the situation upcoming at the intersection without braking unless you drive too fast or unless your brain works too slowly. 

You should be behind me far enough (at all times ) that me tapping my brakes doesn't put you up my ass.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Onboard 2.0

[Atxracer 797]

On 11/12/2019 at 1:43 PM, clapclapclap said:

People who drive below the speed limit in the no passing zones and then above the speed limit in the passing zones.

100%.  I really don’t understand this but it seems like they speed up when the passing zone/lane starts.  

[TornACL 7,722]

10 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

You should be behind me far enough (at all times ) that me tapping my brakes doesn't put you up my ass.

I'm far enough away that I can carefully judge you as a bad driver. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,740]

People who are afraid to drive the speed limit when a DPS trooper is near and going 5-6 mph under said limit.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

8 hours ago, TornACL said:

I'm far enough away that I can carefully judge you as a bad driver. 

So, yer the guy doing 5-10 an hour miles below the speed limit, slowing everyone else up ?  Yer part of the problem Pal.

[TornACL 7,722]

1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

So, yer the guy doing 5-10 an hour miles below the speed limit, slowing everyone else up ?  Yer part of the problem Pal.

Clearly you don't understand how driving works, brake rider. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

15 minutes ago, TornACL said:

Clearly you don't understand how driving works, brake rider. 

[rolling] Yeah, that's it [eyes].  

[52-80 19,246]

the slim cylindrical single serving sugar sachets.... its way too much sugar for 1 espresso.  i usually only use half. 

little sugar cubes or the brown bricks are better

[EMAWesome 101]

21 hours ago, HouTex said:

Not trivial, but MFers who run stop signs.  Twice in the last week I've had assholes run stop signs and had I been less alert I would have been seriously injured in the first instance and my car would have been totaled in the second.  The first guy just didn't see the stop sign and blew through it going around 40.  The second guy saw me coming, just ran the stop sign (I didn't have a stop sign) and just assumed I would jam my brakes and not hit him.  Sometimes it's wise to slowdown/tap brakes at intersections because of assholes.

I live in the stoplight running capital of the world. Literally every time I go anywhere I see someone run a red light at practically every intersection I have to stop at.  To top it off last week I saw someone turn right on a red right in front of an ambulance with its lights and sirens going.  Also you are just as much of an asshole if you run a red light on your stupid bicycle as you are if you run a red light in your car.

[Zwylde 812]

Turning left on red when it is obvious no cars are coming from the opposite direction is the only acceptable red light to run.  In fact, there should be no left turn reds, only flashing yellows.

 

 

 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

An old George Carlin bit:

2 guys driving in a car. The driver runs a red light.

Passenger: Screams what the hell are you doing ??!!

Driver: Relax. my brother does this all the time.

 

They come to another red light, and the driver blows thru it.

Passenger:  What the hell are you doing, that was another red light !!

Driver:  Relax, my brother does this all the time.

 

Another red light, and the driver blows right thru.

Passenger:  God dammmit cut that out !

Driver:  Relax, my brother does this all the time.

 

They come to a green light, and the driver screeches to a halt.

Passenger:  What are you doing, why'd you stop, that's a green light ??!!

Driver:  Are you kidding, my brother might be coming the other way.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Onboard 2.0

[Underdog 28,773]

3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

People who are afraid to drive the speed limit when a DPS trooper is near and going 5-6 mph under said limit.

Yes.  Also when they see a Leo they automatically put on their brakes, like the cop hasn't already tagged your speeding ass before you even saw him/her. 

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

the slim cylindrical single serving sugar sachets.... its way too much sugar for 1 espresso.  i usually only use half. 

little sugar cubes or the brown bricks are better

Is this your coming out of the closet post?  Congrats. 

[52-80 19,246]

10 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Is this your coming out of the closet post?  Congrats. 

Espressos are feminine now?  That's a new one. 

 

I can't tell what's cool anymore.  Gulping a jug of diner-drip Folgers from a Coleman thermos? 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Espressos are feminine now?  That's a new one. 

 

I can't tell what's cool anymore.  Gulping a jug of diner-drip Folgers from a Coleman thermos? 

As long as it's a buffalo plaid Coleman thermos, and black wIth no sugar, you're OK.  

Oh, and keep that pinky down.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Onboard 2.0

[Underdog 28,773]

you'regoddamnright.jpeg